Years ago, I attended a spring training game at Municipal Stadium in Phoenix where the Oakland A’s play. I arrived right when the gates opened, as I often did, and heard U2’s song With or Without You blaring through the loudspeakers. (And it sounded so good.) Several times in the song, Bono sang these words:
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away
Those lyrics could describe the feelings of a mother with small children, or a caregiver working with a terminally ill patient, or a customer service representative at a department store, or even a public school teacher trying to control a large class.
Or a local church pastor.
For most of my ministry life, I liked being a pastor. Yes, there were some tough times, but the good that was done usually outweighed the bad. I was doing what God called me to do, I was surrounded by Christians who acted like Christians, and I could sense the smile of God upon my life and ministry.
But then slowly, things changed.
Eighteen months ago, I felt like I was falling apart, and I had no idea what was happening to me. I took a few days off work to read a couple of books that seemed related to what I was feeling, and they helped some, but I still wasn’t right. Eventually, I saw a Christian counselor who gave me some tests to take, and after he scored them, he told me, “You’re suffering from a severe case of burnout and you’re near a breakdown.” While his diagnosis initially shocked me, the literature confirmed his conclusion. Burnout had crept up on me without my knowledge or consent.
But I had all the symptoms. I felt empty inside. I didn’t want to hang around most people because I couldn’t control my negative emotions. After always being a self-starter, I could not seem to motivate myself. And worst of all, it felt like God had abandoned me. In the past, it always seemed like I could sense God’s presence, but now He seemed to be a million miles away. Although I wasn’t suicidal, it would have been okay with me if I had just vanished.
How could a veteran pastor experience such symptoms?
When pastors suffer from burnout, they don’t want to tell anybody. There is still a stigma about the condition in Christian circles because people assume that if a pastor is truly spiritual, he will never experience burnout. Because it was hard enough to admit it to myself, I only told a handful of people. I believed that if the word got out, I would be forced to leave the church because burnout victims require prolonged inactivity.
I didn’t fit the usual profile of a burnout victim. I had a regular quiet time with the Lord. I exercised 30-45 minutes at least five times a week. My home life has always been wonderful. And I didn’t feel driven inside. The issues that were draining me were not in my private life. Instead, they were all at church.
Like many pastors, I am a person who needs to see things happen in his life. Early in my ministry, I liked cutting the grass at my house because I could immediately see the results of my labor. (This strategy doesn’t work all that well in Phoenix because you have to look hard to find grass.) I needed to see attendance rising, giving increasing, and lives being changed.
While I tried not to measure my self-worth exclusively by numbers, I was always conscious that some people in the church – especially those who are business-oriented – almost always judge a pastor’s worth “by the numbers.” I’ve had a lifelong battle with that value system, but in the ministry, whether you like it or not, “You are your stats.” To keep the stats going up, you need momentum. And to keep momentum, you need to continually make plans for new growth.
I once was acquainted with a church that had been in existence for nearly thirty years. Despite the fact that the church lacked a worship center, it had grown. To accommodate new growth, the leaders proposed putting a new worship center on the front lawn right next to a major street.
When the proposal was brought before the congregation, matters became contentious, and when the vote for the new building was taken, it failed by a slim margin. At that point, many of the church’s most gifted individuals left the church and the congregation went through a few years of tough times, culminating in an invitation for the church I served as pastor (which was five miles away) to merge with it, which we did. But we struggled because it’s hard to resurrect momentum.
When a church is growing, it needs to seize those God-given opportunities to “take the land” or it may very well end up wandering in the wilderness for a long, long time.
Without going into details, I spent months in my last church doing research and putting plans together to keep the momentum going only to have those plans blocked. Although I told very few people at the time, I knew that was the beginning of the end of my ministry in that place. It was only a few days later that I was diagnosed with burnout.
My story can be replicated thousands of times in the lives of pastors all over this country.
My guess is that most of you reading this blog are not pastors. Let me share with you several things that you can do to help your pastor avoid burnout.
First, pray for him daily – and let him know you’re praying for him. (It’s been my experience that those who pray for their pastor rarely attack him, while those who attack him rarely pray for him.) And when appropriate, pray with him. Pastors are so used to praying for others that they are usually greatly moved when someone wants to pray for them.
Second, encourage him to stay home most nights. Years ago, I heard Chuck Swindoll say that a church that expects its pastor to work many nights will eventually lose him. Andy Stanley, who pastors one of America’s largest churches in the Atlanta area, says that he’s home almost every night of the week. Toward the end of my ministry, being out three to four nights a week began to take its toll on me – especially as I got older – and I longed to be home more often.
Third, honestly let your pastor know when he’s doing a good job. Some pastors are able to affirm themselves and don’t need as much external affirmation, while other pastors constantly need to know they’re helping somebody. It always meant more to me to receive a note of encouragement on Monday or Tuesday than it did on Sunday – although I always appreciated it regardless of the timing. When the pastor doesn’t hear affirmation from anyone for a week or two, he may very well question his effectiveness, which is one of the symptoms of burnout.
Finally, intervene if you think your pastor is headed toward burnout. Talk to him. Talk to his wife. Talk to the board. Talk to the staff. While the pastor needs to care for himself, many could sing with Bono, “And you give yourself away … and you give … and you give … and you give yourself away.” But if you don’t take in more than you give … you will burn out.
Burnout happens more in the helping professions (doctors, nurses, paramedics, psychologists, missionaries) than in other professions because the work never ends and because the caring mechanisms of the body shut down after prolonged stress.
I will write more about this extremely relevant issue in the days ahead. If you’d like to read more about this issue, here’s a brief description of the symptoms and cure for pastoral burnout:
http://www.alc.edu.au/alconline/PAS1018/Topic%201%20Self-care%20for%20pastoral%20people/BURNOUT.htm
I read just last night in Exodus about Jethro (the father-in-law of Moses) and how he had to talk Moses into dividing labor. Moses was doing 100% of the judging for the entire nation and Jethro told him that wasn’t wise and to appoint leaders to help. I thought of you when I read that.
I saw a DVD from this pastor in Hawaii about burnout and it was really interesting. Pastor Terry was the one who gave it to me. One of the big things I took out of it was not to take other peoples problems on myself. I might be able to help and give and give and give, but how much better to pray for them? It’s free and takes less effort. Otherwise I get overwhelmed seeing needs of people around me that I can fill, but don’t seem to have the time or energy to meet them.
His book:
http://www.cambridgebibles.com/ME2/Audiences/dirmod.asp?sid=0477683E4046471488BD7BAC8DCFB004&nm=&type=PubCom&mod=PubComProductCatalog&mid=BF1316AF9E334B7BA1C33CB61CF48A4E&tier=3&id=939089871D7D4BC8A6E947B69E1B39E1
The video:
http://www.willowcreek.com/wca_prodsb.asp?invtid=PR29407
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Thanks for the referrals, Ryan. I’m familiar with Wayne Cordeiro from Leadership Journal. I think one aspect of my personality that I’ve never been able to shake is that I care too much when people are suffering. It’s an occupational hazard for people with tender hearts. This is why most large church pastors have gifts in leadership and not in shepherding. Shepherds tend to pastor the small churches, teachers the medium-sized churches, and leaders the large and mega churches. Since your mother also has a tender heart – and often tells me about all the other people who are suffering everywhere – sometimes it becomes overwhelming. It will always be a balancing act with me.
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Hey Jim,
Love the writing. I am thinking of a couple of pastors now that need to see the writing on the wall. They don’t like non-Biblical assessments. Do you have any Biblical examples, other than Elijah in the cave, of burnout? Let me know thanks. Dan
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Elijah is the best biblical example and maybe the only one, although when you read II Corinthians, you can make a case that Paul had the symptoms as well. One definition of burnout is the gap between expectations and reality. The burnout victim has goals that are too high for the congregation in which he/she ministers, and because those goals cannot be reached – at least quickly – the person becomes very frustrated and burnout results. Most biblical figures adopted goals from God rather than created their own, but pastors in our day are encourged to create their own goals, and sometimes their goals aren’t God’s goals. I think burnout is a rather recent phenomenon. It was something that was never discussed when I was in seminary in the late 1970s but is mentioned a lot in our day. Thanks for your question, Dan!
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It wasn’t addressed to me, but commenting is too much fun! Haha.
I was thinking about other examples other than Elijah and thought that it might be interesting to consider examples in the Bible of people that _didn’t_ burnout even though they should have. If we might learn about burnout from people that did (which is cool, because we can relate), it might also be good to consider people that should have burned out, but avoided it.
Jesus is the best example. Miracles, ministering, giving, giving and more giving (along the lines of the U2 song). The first thing I can think he did to avoid burnout was to make time for prayer and meditation. He always made time to go away to a quiet place and refill himself.
I’m sure he did other things to avoid burnout. Maybe other guys did stuff to avoid it as well? David or Paul or … ? *shrug*
Comments are fun! =)
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That’s a great angle to take, Ryan – people in the Bible who didn’t burn out. I think the pace of life back then was different, allowing for much more reflection, and I think that people in ministry were not as results-oriented. They just tried to be faithful every day. In our day, we are very much goal and results-oriented, and I think that burnout results from trying to obtain specific results by a certain deadline. We so much want to measure our success but it’s difficult to do so in spiritual work. I do think that Paul may have experienced burnout around the time he wrote II Corinthians. He has a lot of the symptoms, especially at the end of chapter 11. But you’re right about Jesus. He always had enough food to do the will of His Father in heaven (John 4:34).
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Jim, I really enjoyed your thoughts on “Burning Out” and I also enjoyed the comments made Ryan and Dan. I have at my current job with the City of Glendale for about 20 years now. Reading your article, I saw some similarities between the burn out of a pastor and those of us who may be working in the private sector. Particularly, those who are givers at their secular jobs. Fortunately, I received the “Who Moved my Cheese” story. It fit my situation to a tee.
Nothing had changed much on my job for many years. Yet, during the past 3 to 4 months I had noticed some changes (in me) that I did not like, and I began to struggle for a time against these changes. But when I began to understand the “Who Moved my Cheese concept, I realized the extent of my unseen resentment. The book provided me with ideas that I could implement to put me in a more positive mind set. As I opened my mind, (prayer sure helped) I found some creative adjustments that have made me more effective and provided me with a source of new motivation. I just finished some things that I emailed to my office computer. I was able to work effectively a short time at home yesterday and put some final touches this evening. I am once again looking forward to getting to work with a bounce in my step again. Thanks again for your fine work, Jim. We are all trying to finds creative ways to serve the Lord and to be more effective at our jobs. God Bless, Mike
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Thanks for your encouragement, Mike. You’re still throwing strikes! I’ve seen the Who Moved My Cheese? book but I don’t think I have it. I very much appreciate the recommendation. Have a tremendous week!
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I was re-reading the article on burnout after the responses. On thing struck me as very familiar…
Your section…”But I had all the symptoms. I felt empty inside. I didn’t want to hang around most people because I couldn’t control my negative emotions. After always being a self-starter, I could not seem to motivate myself. And worst of all, it felt like God had abandoned me. In the past, it always seemed like I could sense God’s presence, but now He seemed to be a million miles away. Although I wasn’t suicidal, it would have been okay with me if I had just vanished.” Had an all too familiar ring to it…
Living in Japan on my 3rd year now, church planting and mission work. This year is the fulcrum of missionaries who will make it or break it in a sense. The symptoms you describe are almost exact to a “T” indicating a culture shock experience or the new terminology to day is better known as “Culture Stress.”
This I believe is very similar in the sense of a work place becomes a place of culture and your accepted as part of the culture and there are norms that you are comfortable with. But when the norms are broken and all of a sudden you become an outsider foreign to the people you thought you could trust and depend on; your stress level raises beyond a comfortable limit.
Sorry for the long Quote below but let the experts speak to this:
How is culture stress different from culture shock?
“As culture shock was originally defined (honeymoon, crisis, recovery, adjustment), culture stress was considered to be a part of it. However, the word “shock” connotes something sudden and short-lived. Thus, many people today think of culture shock as the crisis stage (confusion, disorientation, and lack of control) and the recovery stage (language and cultural cues more familiar). These stages begin when the new missionary leaves the enthusiastic, exciting, optimistic tourist mode, usually beginning in a few weeks, worsening for about six months, and basically ending within a year or two.
Culture stress is the adjustment stage in which people accept the new environment, adopting new ways of thinking and doing things so that they feel like they belong to the new culture. This takes years, and some missionaries never complete it. This may go on and on.”
http://www.missionarycare.com/brochures/br_culturestress.htm
I think Jim you describe a Culture shock experience and then what you write there is the process of working through the readjustment to a new culture and new norms.
This book is taking many turns and twists I hope to get one of the first copies of it. I may need this sooner than you think. My Culture stress is minimal as I have been married to my Japanese wife now 19 years and been in Japanese ministry for most all of those years. Still I have good days and bad days. I do think about packing it in to go back to installing garage doors and not have to deal with everything. But as I sit and pray God brings that balance back to my life and ministry. The Stress is very real and keeping my eyes on Jesus makes all the difference.
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Dan, thanks for your thoughtful thoughts. There are some parallels between our situations. The culture surrounding a church can be either resistant or receptive to the gospel. The church itself can either be resistant or receptive as well. The best-case scenario is where both the church and the culture are receptive to the gospel, like the church we attend in Peoria. They’re averaging 17,000 people at their five services on the weekends because the people of the church are receptive to the pastor’s leadership and the culture here in Arizona is also receptive to the gospel. In this scenario, a pastor might become stressed-out, but probably not burned-out. However, at our last church, we were in a very resistant culture. As long as the church was receptive to the Lord’s leading, we were able to reach people in our culture for Christ. But when some of the key leaders banded together and became resistant to reaching more people in our cultural community, I began suffering burnout. I was blocked at every turn and didn’t know what to do. A couple years ago, there were five decent evangelical churches in the whole city where our church was located, and ours was the largest. Then one-by-one, the churches started falling like dominos, and then the enemy turned his attention to ours, and Kim and I became special targets. I feel for you in your situation. I’ve been there. The second church I pastored just about made me quit the ministry. In fact, after some counseling, my counselor told me, “Your problem is your church. Get out of it.” My guess is that God has called you to ministry and that you have a lot of options. For example, you could (a) stay there, be faithful, and wait for a breakthrough; (b) ask God to show you another church you can pastor; (c) join the staff of a growing church in Japan, maybe leaving to pastor again after a couple years; (d) come to the US and pastor a church here; (e) go back into secular work. But I think most of your issues don’t have to do with you but with the resistant culture in which you find yourself. Although it doesn’t feel like it, times like this can be a gift as you try and find out who you are in the ministry. Let’s talk further. I’m so joyful that you’re in ministry, Dan!
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