Every day, it’s the same thing.
The number one phrase that people enter into their search engine that directs them to this blog is “how to terminate a pastor.”
Yesterday, there were three phrases using the terms “terminate” and “pastor,” as well as a fourth entry: “forcing out a pastor.”
There have been days when I’ve woken up and my article called “If You Must Terminate a Pastor” has been read multiple times. It makes me wonder if it’s been read by an entire board somewhere that’s struggling with this issue.
I’d like to offer five suggestions to church leaders before they act to force their pastor out of his position:
First, talk to your pastor about your concerns. When my kids were growing up, if they messed up in some fashion, I corrected them immediately. They knew what I expected and were given time to change their behavior.
A pastor should be treated in a similar manner.
I realize it’s never easy to correct a pastor, but if he’s saying or doing something wrong – or there’s something he’s neglecting to do – then a member of the governing board needs to discuss it with him as soon as possible.
Let’s say a pastor is delving too much into politics in his messages. In all likelihood, a few people from the church will contact him and tell him they think he’s crossing a line. This might alert the pastor to a problem, but he might ignore their opinions and plow ahead anyway.
One of the board members then has to talk with the pastor, and the sooner, the better. If it was me, I wouldn’t wait until the next official board meeting. Instead, I’d invite the pastor out for a meal and share my concerns with him – and I would speak only for myself, not for the rest of the board.
Many pastors would realize they’ve crossed a line and would stop injecting politics into their sermons right away. Mission accomplished.
After a private conversation – recommended by Jesus in Matthew 18:15 – the issue should now be closed.
However, some board members just can’t bring themselves to talk to the pastor in private. So they begin talking about the pastor to each other. Joe has one complaint against the pastor, Bill has another, and Reed has still another. All of a sudden, Joe’s complaint is adopted by Bill, and Bill’s is adopted by both Reed and Joe.
This is how church conflict begins: by pooling complaints.
As they do this, the board members start to believe that maybe the pastor should leave. In fact, they find it easy to blame him for everything that is wrong with their church.
However, the pastor isn’t at fault. He doesn’t even know about the conversations the board members are having with each other. Because they failed to use the biblical principle of confronting him directly before involving others (Matthew 18:15), everything that happens from this moment on will largely be the responsibility of those three board members.
If a pastor messes up – and he will from time-to-time – then one person should speak with him in private without involving others. Ideally, if there are five members on the church board, then all five should approach him separately.
Wouldn’t you like to be treated that way?
Second, be clear about the change you expect. While pastors are gifted individuals, they are not mind readers. If you want your pastor to change the way he does ministry, you have to define the change you want. Don’t make him guess what you’re thinking.
I served with one board that asked me to stop wearing a suit on Sundays and dress down a bit more. Except for funerals and weddings, I never wore a suit after that.
One board member asked me to quit putting down the Dodgers in my messages. They were his favorite team and he felt attacked every time I did it. I stopped.
Here’s the template: “Pastor, I’d like to ask if you’d start/stop doing _____ for this reason: _____.”
I don’t believe that such a statement should be presented as a demand but as a request. However, unless it’s a matter of doctrine or ethics, you may have to let the pastor make up his own mind about your request.
Many years ago in my first pastorate, two deacons called on a Saturday night and asked me if they could come over and talk with me. When they arrived, I climbed into one of their cars and heard them out.
They wanted me to give altar calls every Sunday morning.
A public invitation is when a pastor invites people to receive Christ in a church service, often by praying right where they are.
An altar call is much more public. It’s when a person is asked to walk to the front of the church before receiving Christ, like at a Billy Graham crusdade.
I wrote my thesis in seminary on “a theological evaluation of the altar call.” I didn’t want to start doing it because we had a church of 40 Christians with few visitors. Since everybody was already saved, nobody was going to walk forward, even if I was Billy Graham. Then they would judge my ministry a failture.
Besides, the practice isn’t mentioned anywhere in Scripture and comes out of the 19th century camp meetings. It’s an option, not a necessity.
So I told them I wouldn’t do it. (I had more guts at 27 than I do now!) They accepted my decision – and they never brought it up again. But I was grateful that they spoke with me about making a specific change.
Third, give the pastor time to change. With an issue like mentioning politics in a message, the pastor should be expected to stop right away. If he crosses a line again, then the person who initially spoke with the pastor might choose to take one or two more people with him to speak with the pastor (Matthew 18:16).
However, many pastors develop habits where it’s difficult for them to change overnight.
I was never very good at home visitation. When I had to visit shut-ins, neither one of us enjoyed the experience very much. When I stopped by to see newcomers who had visited our church the previous Sunday, they rarely came back.
The boomers didn’t want a pastor coming to their house. (There were too many things to hide before he got there.) But many in the builder generation expected that kind of personal attention from their pastor.
If I was asked to visit in homes, I could probably do it for a week or two, but since it’s unnatural for me, I’d find reasons to quit doing it as soon as possible.
It takes time for pastors to change their behavior or learn new skills. Board members need to realize that. Maybe the pastor’s progress could be measured on a monthly or quarterly basis. But give him a chance to change first – and give him points for trying.
Fourth, realize your pastor is unique. Many Christians have a favorite pastor from their past. Maybe he led them to Christ, or baptized them, or married them, or counseled them – and he became their pastor forever.
But then he resigned or retired, and while he’s not around anymore, precious memories still linger.
There are times when a board member wants to terminate a pastor because he isn’t Pastor So-and-So from my past. Over the years, many people have told me about their favorite pastor. At first, I felt a little intimdated, but then I realized that it’s okay to form a special bond with a man of God. It’s one of the primary ways God causes us to grow.
But on some level, there are people – even board members – who become upset or even angry with their current pastor because he doesn’t do things the way their favorite pastor did. They canonize his personality and his methodology.
If this could be the case with you, I beg you: please ask God and a few loved ones around you to tell you the truth as to whether you’re being fair toward your pastor or not.
Because even if you get rid of him, that favorite pastor is not coming back.
Finally, take time to pray that your pastor changes. Many board members come out of the business world, and prayer is not a business principle. But prayer works wonders – even with a pastor.
Instead of persuading fellow board members to fire the pastor, why not ask the King of Kings to change him instead?
I once had a pastor who had an annoying habit. I prayed fervently for him without talking to him about it. He not only changed, he told the church he had changed!
That principle isn’t in Good to Great, is it?
But it is in the Bible!
Let me put this in a nutshell: before relying on business practices or playing church politics, resolve that you will handle any problems with your pastor in a biblical and spiritual manner.
If you do, the odds are good that you won’t have to terminate your pastor because he’ll respond to you in kind.
Think about it.
Once again, Jim, you have captured the gist of the issue: To approach and solve church and other similar problems in a biblical and spiritual manner. After all, that is what the Lord has asked us to do.
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Mike, I was pretty close to your neck of the woods last Saturday. Kim’s twin brother Kevin gave away his oldest daughter in marriage, and the wedding was held in Malibu. Thanks for your thoughts, as always!
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These are helpful steps if the pastor is the problem. Personal communication is always a helpful step in resolving conflict. But what if he is not the problem? What if the attender or member is the problem? Perhaps the first step is to pray, “God, where do I need to change? What is the log in my eye that needs to be removed before I address the speck in the pastor’s eye?” Once you address that issue, then you can begin the steps that Jim outlines.
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Mark, bingo! I agree with you totally. What if the pastor is not the problem? On rare occasions, he might be the problem, but more often than not, he’s a convenient scapegoat instead. I wrote this post mainly because it covered a few areas I had left untouched in the past. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Well said Mark. These principles also have applied to my workplace. Someone “moved my cheese” this past year at work. Though they did nothing wrong per se, they were asking me to do my work duties differently, and changing my comfort zone. I needed the Lord’s perspective to clearly grasp what was taking place. I did not want to say the right thing in the wrong spirit and really created a problem.
The Lord helped me see the reasons for my discomfort and helped me gain mind-set to deal with the issue. Now the issue has passed. It is clear now that the issue is the City’s finances, or the lack thereof. Some down-sizing is inevitable in my work place, but I now see the difficulty of my job as a positive for me. So far, I am still necessary and City staff continues to view me as a problem solver and helpful. Thanks for the Lord’s insights through prayer.
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Mike, you’ve always been a model of patience and maturity, especially when dealing with wayward softball players! Thanks for sharing about your situation.
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Too funny Jim. Well, maybe I was the wayward softball and basketball player as well. It is nice to see some spiritual growth after all of those on the field and court antics we all were prone too. But those were fun and good years as I still recall.
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Hi
Our church board members gave feedback to our pastor that his message does not sets any examples for the young generation and also the elderly people.
And pastor replied that he will stop coming to church till he becomes perfect.Pastor said board members that you people run the church every sunday and tell them why pastor did not came.
pastor is trying to create fight between board members and the member of the church.
Please give any advice on how to handle this situation.
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Hello,
I am so sorry this is happening in your church. I have some questions to ask you about your situation:
*How long has your pastor been at your church?
*What size is your congregation?
*What does the phrase, “His message does not set any example for the young generation and the elderly people” mean? That his preaching isn’t biblical? That he tells people to do what is wrong?
*So the pastor didn’t come to church today? Who spoke?
From what you wrote, it sounds like the pastor is upset by the feedback that the church board gave him. Were they angry when they spoke with him? Or did they do it with love?
There are some hurt feelings here. If you can answer the questions I asked, I can better assist you.
If you’d like to answer me privately, please write me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org
Thank you.
Jim Meyer
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