In my last article, I mentioned the book Crushed by former pastor Gary Pinion. Although most of the book is about the pain that pastors in general are experiencing today in ministry, the author relates a personal story about one of his own pastorates.
One day, a governing leader came to Pastor Pinion and told him that several people in the congregation had complained to him about the pastor. When the pastor asked how long this had been occurring, the leader replied, “Several months now.” The pastor then asked the leader, “Have you told even one of the complainers to come and visit with me about their concerns?” The answer was, “No.”
When a pastor hears that people have been publicly pooling their complaints about him, it makes the pastor uneasy, because he knows this is how major conflicts in a church are launched. And when a leader fails to encourage the complainers to speak with the pastor personally about their issues, unbiblical behavior begins to snowball.
When Pastor Pinion learned that one of the complainers was “a catalyst for all the lies and innuendos that had been circulating,” he invited the man to his office. When the pastor confronted the man, he began to yell and scream, “You are not feeding me and I have been at this church a lot longer than you and I have sure given a whole lot more money to this church than you and I’m not leaving!” Pastor Pinion laments that “that was the beginning of my ‘forced exit.'”
Why do professing Christians abuse and attack their pastors?
Last time, I mentioned three possible reasons:
First, they are angry with God, and blame His audible, visible messenger for something God did or didn’t do.
Second, they are angry with their father and blame the man of God because he reminds them of their father in some way.
Third, they feel that the pastor slighted them in some way.
Here are four more possibilities:
Fourth, they want their pastor to be someone he’s not. Most Christians have a favorite pastor from their past. Maybe he always said hi to them, or baptized them as a child, or helped their family through crisis. Or maybe they have an affinity for a particular pastor on television or radio. Or maybe they’ve combined the attributes of many pastors into one perfect pastor.
Although they may not be aware of it, they measure all subsequent pastors by their mental ideal. And when they finally discover that their current pastor cannot be the person they want him to be, they feel hurt, disappointed, and angry. They want their pastor! And if they can’t have him, they’ll begin a whispering campaign or call their favorite pastor and complain about the current one.
Fifth, they want to retain their friendships. Have you ever had this experience? You’ve been reading your Bible recently and feel convicted about the way you sometimes talk harshly about other people. So you resolve that you’re either going to keep your mouth shut or only say kind things about others.
One day, you go out to eat with some church friends, and one of them starts criticizing your pastor. You instantly recall your pledge to the Lord, but you also want to join in the conversation. Before you know it, you’re agreeing with some of their criticisms and adding a few of your own. Although you feel guilty as soon as you leave the restaurant, you convince yourself that no real harm was done.
Why did you do it? You wanted to fit in with your friends. After all, when the pastor isn’t around to defend himself, he doesn’t seem so great, does he? In my previous article, I shared the story about Pastor Pinion’s friend who flipped on him and couldn’t tell him why he did it. I know why: his destructive friends meant more to him than his godly pastor.
Where are the Christians in our day who know how to stand up for what’s right? If we can’t stand up to fellow Christians when they are committing evil deeds, how authentic is our faith?
Sixth, they think the pastor is attacking them through his preaching. Think about this: the only person in our culture who consistently tells adults how to live is the pastor. The president gives speeches but doesn’t talk about divorce or sexuality. Your boss may give occasional talks but she never encourages you to love God or others. Your spouse may not like the way you manage money but he never sits you down for a 30-minute lecture on tithing.
Christian pastors regularly give unpopular messages about unpopular topics from an unpopular book – and occasionally in an unpopular tone. The worst possible response I could have to a talk I gave was to have no response at all. As Spurgeon used to say, you want people to be “glad, sad, or mad.” But when some people get mad at a pastor – often just for preaching what the Bible says – they can go on the attack and harshly criticize him to others.
Finally, they want the pastor to leave. The man who came to see Pastor Pinion told him, “I have been at this church a lot longer than you and … I’m not leaving!” When people get to this point – whether they say it to their pastor’s face or not – they’re saying, “Either he’s going to leave or I’m going to leave … and it’s not going to be me.”
Sadly, there seem to be people in every church who assign themselves the project of getting rid of the pastor. Sometimes they’re members of the governing board or staff. Sometimes they’re a long-time member or a former pastor or the leader of a coalition. But they have made up their minds that they cannot co-exist with the pastor. By all rights, they should leave the church – quickly and quietly. Instead, they convince themselves that this is their church – not his – and that he needs to leave their church as soon as possible.
Unless the pastor is guilty of heresy or destructive behavior, this is a supremely selfish action. After all, most of the people who attend that church are there because of the pastor, not because of the board or a long-time member. Besides, every church belongs to Jesus rather than chronic complainers.
If people would put the same energy into praying for and encouraging their pastors as they do into criticizing and attacking them, everyone would benefit.
What is God asking you to do for your pastor?
You said, “Your spouse may not like the way you manage money but he never sits you down for a 30-minute lecture on tithing.”
If he does, I hope he knows what he is talking about.
NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE pays the Biblical tithe today.
Leviticus 27:30-33, Numbers 18: The First Tithe – a tenth of crops and animals and commanded to take the tithe to the Levites.
Deuteronomy 14:22-27: The Second Tithe aka The Festival Tithe – a tenth of crops, plus add to that the firstborn animals, and take for the yearly feast.
Deuteronomy 14:28-29: The Third Tithe aka The Three-Year Tithe aka The Poor Tithe – a tenth of crops, kept at home, and invite the Levites, widows, orphans, stranger to eat.
Now, tell me. Which of the above three tithes commanded by God does anyone follow today?
The ONLY people in the Old Testament that were commanded to tithe were those who INHERITED THE PROMISED LAND WITH EVERYTHING ON IT. They got the land, house, animals, crops, etc. ALL FREE AND CLEAR. No mortgage payment or rent to pay. And THEY were commanded to tithe on the crops and animals and take it to the Levites who INHERITED the tithe INSTEAD OF the promised land with everything on it. No one else tithed. Wage earners did not tithe. Jesus did not tithe as a carpenter. Paul did not tithe as a tent maker. Peter did not tithe as a fisherman.
Does the pastor teach the truth about tithing? Should he not be corrected for teaching a false doctrine?
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Brother Gary, thank you for your feedback. I think you missed the point of the article, however, which deals with the reasons people attack pastors. The line you cited was simply an illustration. However, my wife and I have gratefully, consistently, cheerfully, and voluntarily donated one-tenth of our income to the Lord’s work for 35 years and God has mightily blessed us because of it. I view tithing as a guideline, not a law. I am confident that you, as a mature believer, are giving generously to God’s work as well. Isn’t it wonderful to support Christ’s kingdom?
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Jim,
I really didn’t miss the point of your article, but being a Money & Finance Minister, I couldn’t help but bring up the tithing issue.
If pastors correctly taught good stewardship, money would not be a problem for the church. Focusing on the 90% is much more important that focusing on the tenth.
Being Spirit led and using no guidelines, I find myself giving far, far more than a mere tenth of my income. Giving excites me. It’s more important to me to give to others than to buy myself something I really don’t need.
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So I’m curious now. =)
Does the absence of a statement really prove anything? How do I know if Jesus tithed or didn’t tithe. Just because it wasn’t mentioned doesn’t mean he didn’t tithe. Paul as a tentmaker … I have no idea what he did with his money outside of use it to support himself instead of relying on a local church to support him.
I’ve always viewed tithing as a strong suggestion. I thought we were to give our first fruits to the Lord? I may not have inherited the promised land for free, but God has given me gifts and abilities and I use those to earn money. It seems wise to me to give God my first fruits – and in this case my “fruit” is my paycheck, which wouldn’t exist without God given skills etc.
I can see how managing church finances would be incredibly frustrating though! Ha. =)
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Ryan,
Numbers 18:27 (KJV) “And this your heave offering shall be reckoned unto you, as though it were the corn of the threshingfloor, and as the fulness of the winepress.”
If you really study the above and keep it in context, you will see that neither money nor income was allowed as a tithe yet money had to be used to pay the Temple Tax (tribute in KJV).
Unless Jesus, Paul, and/or Peter had crops and/or animals raised on the Holy land, they wouldn’t have qualified as tithe payers. God defined His tithe to be on His miraculous increase of crops and animals which are ASSETS, and never on anyone’s income.
Firstfruits has nothing to do with the tithe. Firstfruits offerings ONLY applies to the first of the crop, NOT on someone’s income. The tithe was NEVER the first. It was a tenth of the crops (not the first tenth) and every tenth animal (the last one out of every ten). See Leviticus 27:30-34.
In Nehemiah 10:37 we learn that the firstfruits were taken to the temple for the priests, and the tithes were taken to the Levites who lived in the Levitical cities.
Wage earners did not tithe, nor did they take the first of their wages to the priests.
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Hey Gary,
Your comment brings to mind two questions.
1. What should the modal of church giving be then? In the ideal church in modern times, if I’m a regular attender, how do I give money to the church? Is it when I feel moved by the Spirit? Or …?
2. If I have personally resolved to give 10% of my income do you consider that wrong or sinful?
I’m curious to see what you think. Thanks!
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If you have resolved to give 10% of your income that is great. All giving is great. Just don’t mistakenly call it tithing, because in the Biblical sense it is not.
If the church is teaching truth, and God is REALLY a part of that church, God will provide the funds by putting it in the hearts of those attending to be generous givers. There have been times when I am sitting in church when the Spirit tells me to give $1,000 (and I am retired on a fixed income) and other times when the Spirit tells me to give $5. Whatever the Lord puts in my heart.
HOWEVER, I do teach that a church needs to have some sort of budget and an income they can count on. I recommend that church goers pray and ask the Lord to guide you in giving a regular monthly amount. Then each week pray and ask the Lord whether He wants you to give an extra amount that week. It would be very difficult for a church to operate if giving was very small one month and very large the next.
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Wow, I’m blown away by these posts! Anyway, to answer your question Jim, I believe God is asking me to always suggest to people who complain about the pastor that they should talk with him. My question to them is always “have you spoken with him about that?”. That puts the ball back in their court (I learned this from you Jim!).
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Yes, a little tithing controversy broke out on the blog today. (You should have seen the explosions on Facebook earlier this afternoon!) What I tell people is that if you have a personal matter against the pastor, speak to him directly. If you have a policy matter that you’re upset about, then you can speak with any board member or senior staff. Ce Ce, I’m glad you learned something from me! (By the way, tonight’s Frosty was great!)
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I’m so glad! Frosties taste especially good in very hot weather…and are never controversial! Have you ever seen the sitcom Meet the Browns? Well, like most sitcoms it’s not great television, but I happened to watch an episode where Mr. Brown (who is an outrageous character that wears loud clothing that does not match and destroys the English language) left church early one day because he thought the pastor’s sermon was too long. He became convinced it was time for change at the church, so he decided to run for a board position. His daughter thought he was wrong, so she decided to run against him. They both behaved so badly (their campaigns were not about the church but about competing with each other) that the board decided not to fill the position after all. In real life church conflict is not funny, especially when one small complaint escalates into something that is out of control. The Mr. Browns of the world need to not get so upset about the little things a pastor might do. After all, maybe that longer sermon was a blessing to someone else!
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No, I haven’t seen Meet the Browns. Come to think of it, The Office is the only sitcom I watch anymore. There used to be a show on Saturday nights called “Amen” that was pretty funny. Sherman Hemsley played Deacon Frye and he tried to control and manipulate the church council on everything. The term “long sermon” is relative. I’ve heard 20-minute sermons I’ve wanted to end and heard 60-minute messages I hoped would go on. What’s interesting about your comment is that Mr. Brown and his daughter assumed that if they wanted to have influence, they needed to be on the church board. Hmmmm …
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