How do you react when you look in the rearview mirror of your car and see a police car behind you with its lights flashing?
That happened to me yesterday.
I was driving in the fast lane from Phoenix to California on Interstate 10.
One moment, nobody was behind me.
The next minute, I thought I was dead meat.
When I moved into the right lane, a sheriff zipped past me to handle a matter further up the road.
But for one brief moment, I assumed I had done something wrong … although I didn’t know what it was. (My speed was fine.)
My guess is that you’ve had that feeling, too.
Somebody suddenly appears in your life and signals that you’ve committed a serious offense.
Maybe your spouse accuses you of emptying the checkbook … but you’re sure you didn’t.
Or your boss accuses you of undermining her leadership … but you can’t imagine what she means.
For some people, their first reaction is to instantly confess … even if they didn’t do anything wrong. Just being accused of something prompts them to admit their guilt.
For others, they quickly defend themselves … even if they are guilty as charged.
I bring this up because many pastors – when they undergo forced termination – usually aren’t told the real reason why they’re being pushed from office.
They’re told by members of the governing board:
“We just thought it was time to make a change.”
Or …
“We think your time here is up.”
Or …
“We love you, pastor, and sense you’re not happy here anymore.”
But the pastor is never told the real reason why he’s being ousted.
Maybe the board can’t articulate it.
Maybe the board lacks the courage to be honest.
Maybe the board doesn’t have a good reason.
Because if they did, they’d be forced to say:
“We want to run the church without your interference.”
Or …
“Several of our friends are upset with you and we want to keep them as friends, so … out you go.”
Or …
“Your preaching has been hitting the mark too often recently – and that makes us uncomfortable – so we’d like you to leave so we can feel better about ourselves.”
The pastor was cruising along the road, assuming everything was fine, when suddenly … the flashing lights appeared.
In our culture, we assume that when someone is charged with wrongdoing, they must have done something wrong.
But that’s not necessarily true.
Jesus was accused of blasphemy by the Jewish leaders and sedition by the Roman leaders – but He wasn’t guilty of either offense.
We’ve known that ever since the Four Evangelists wrote their Gospels. The resurrection ultimately vindicated Jesus.
But many people still assumed that He did something wrong because He was crucified.
Years ago, at a church I served, I was accused of doing something I didn’t do.
If the charge got around the church, it could have ended my ministry.
I talked to someone who worked for human resources at a large secular company about the accusation. This person gave me some great advice: “Just because someone claims you did something wrong doesn’t mean you did.”
While I knew that mentally, I needed to grasp that emotionally.
I have since learned that, like Jesus, I may at times be falsely accused of certain offenses.
And other people – even friends – may believe the charges against me … not because they possess any evidence of wrongdoing, but because they choose to believe the charges.
But the church of Jesus Christ is called to a much higher standard.
1 Timothy 5:19 says, “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder [pastor] unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.”
When the witnesses make the accusation, they need to provide eyewitness testimony or some form of evidence.
They need to accuse the elder/pastor to his face.
The pastor/elder has the right to cross-examine them.
But you know what often happens?
When an accusation is tossed into the ether, the pastor hears about it and quickly resigns … not because he’s guilty, but because he’s certain that he won’t be given any kind of fair process to answer the charges.
The flashing lights alone indicate his guilt.
But as I learned yesterday, those lights may not be aimed at you at all.
If you’re upset with your pastor – and a fair amount of my readers are based upon the search terms they use to find this blog – make sure that you follow the biblical process outlined in Matthew 18:15-17 and 1 Timothy 5:19-21 if you choose to take matters further.
Or those lights in your rearview mirror may later be intended for you.
This one is my favorite of all you have shared related to ministry and especially forced terminations and related mistreatment. It is such a great entry point and enabled me to show my self greater understanding and grace for while I am baffeled by what seems in hindsight to have been a rediculous capitulation sometimes regaurding matters I know to have been misplaced on omy sholders or just falashious. However when I think about the flashing lights I can picture in myself and see in others those varied defensive stances and recognize my own hasty fear driven responce that was made without full access to the relevent information needed for me to have made any informed and apropriate responce. Also with this way of entering and framing the dynamics you offer ways to use this awareness and take time and space when responding being sure what exactly is being said if it has a basis in actual evidence and if you in fact know yourself to be guilty or if these sirens and red lights are needing to follow the true culprits. I can’t quite nail down what it was about this one but these mumblings stumble near to the kernal of the thing for me. In any event as I say my favorite and one I will return to and recomend for others to read and consider.
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Thanks for your kind words. Jesus saw the flashing lights, as did Paul and Peter and all the apostles … so if we see a few every now and then, maybe we can remain calm, just as they did. Blessings on you!
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Thanks Jim,
Always eye opening. It seems I have been through this myself…Sometimes people need to be in control and in power and forget that God is the one truely in control. I am so thankful, I have let go and let God take control of my life. It has changed my life.
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Thanks so much for your comments, Sara. I am so grateful to God for all the wonderful changes in your life. What a difference just a few years can make when God is in the equation.
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WOW! Even though I was there when you saw the red flashing lights this article really helped me. Thanks for being so clear in your writings to help many of us who have been hurt or need recommendation to deal with conflict.
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