What happens inside a congregation after a pastor has been forcibly terminated?
It might surprise you … and even shock you.
From all I’ve gathered, here are four events that often occur after a pastor has been forced to leave a church:
First, there are immediate attempts to discredit that pastor.
In Season 5 of the hit TV show 24, Karen Hayes and her assistant Miles march into the Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) and attempt to absorb CTU into Homeland Security.
With CTU Director Bill Buchanan onsite and in their way, the pair get together and concoct a story designed to (a) discredit Buchanan in the eyes of his loyal CTU followers, and (b) provide justification for their own takeover.
But to discredit Bill Buchanan – a man of great integrity and sound judgment – they have to lie about him. In their minds – because they believe they are better suited to lead CTU than Buchanan – their lie is justified.
I can’t cite any studies on attempts to discredit former pastors, but I’ve heard plenty of stories, and they’re basically the same. As soon as the pastor leaves, some people begin to slander him.
But the sad part is … few people make any attempt to stop the lies.
But if you permit a lie to be told without correcting it, aren’t you guilty of perpetuating that lie? And how can God bless your church if there’s such blatant sin in the camp?
Over the past several years, I have been shocked to learn how often Christians – even Christian leaders – lie. They do this either to discredit another leader or to build up their own accomplishments.
I’m reminded of the time that a pastor near Willow Creek Church was circulating false stories about Bill and Lynne Hybels. The two of them went directly to that pastor and said, “The things you’re saying about us are tearing our hearts out!” The lies stopped.
On behalf of every pastor who has been undeservedly forced to leave a church, let me say to those who are spreading falsehoods: “The things you’re saying are tearing our hearts out!”
Please, stop lying about men and women who have been called by God to serve His church.
Second, the interim pastor tries to discredit the previous pastor behind the scenes.
There are several options available to interim pastors after they follow a pastor:
*The interim can ignore the previous pastor. In their book The Elephant in the Boardroom, Weese and Crabtree write: “It would be refreshing and liberating for many members to hear their pastor speak, in positive terms, the name of the pastor who went before and was referred to as an instrument in God’s plan for building the church. In reality, the opposite is often the case. A pastor is sometimes so threatened by the esteem paid to a predecessor that he or she gives the signal to members that they are not to speak about the predecessor in the pastor’s presence.”
A pastor wrote me recently and said that after being forced to resign, the bully responsible for the pastor’s departure told that pastor’s church friends to shun him, which hurt that pastor deeply. Seven months later, that pastor is still in great turmoil. But like it or not, the previous pastor’s presence hangs over a church for a long time, so we can’t just pretend that he was never around.
I love the way the San Francisco Giants handle matters with their past managers and players. As often as they can, they bring them back to honor them just for being a part of the Giants’ family. Even if a famous manager or player left the Giants under less than optimal conditions, the Giants still attempt to honor them in public. If secular companies can do this, why can’t churches do this as well? What about Hebrews 13:7?
*The interim can trash the previous pastor. Several pastors have contacted me recently and told me how hurt they were to hear that the interim pastor who followed them adopted this approach. The interim’s attitude seemed to be, “Your pastor deserved to leave this church. You shouldn’t have any more contact with him. He shouldn’t even be in the ministry anymore. I’m your pastor now, so follow me.”
I can understand why an interim pastor – who has a short window in which to try and turn around a leaderless church – would want a congregation’s attention focused away from the previous pastor. But to do that, must the interim intentionally harm the reputation of the previous pastor and act like that pastor was evil incarnate? Where do we find this tactic in Scripture? If the interim trashes the previous pastor, won’t the interim eventually be trashed as well? (See Matthew 7:1-2.)
*The interim can honor the previous pastor. This is the approach recommended by Weese and Crabtree who label this approach TLC: talk, listen, and confirm. They write: “Members and leaders need to confirm that past experiences, including those with a predecessor, make an important contribution to the drama of their lives even when a significant change had to be made.”
They continue: “The operation of the human ego in pastors can work against a healthy pastoral transition. The ego does not want to ‘adopt’ the effective ministries that were the ‘children’ of the previous pastor; it wants to have its own children. . . . It is best to think of a pastoral transition as a blended family in which former effective ministries are adopted by the new pastor while new ministries are birthed as well.”
The best way to honor a previous pastor is to speak well of him in public … and to defend him from slander in private … even if he wasn’t perfect. (Interims aren’t perfect, either.)
Third, some of the people responsible for pushing the pastor out become church leaders.
In fact, those who pushed out the previous pastor will try and cozy up to the interim. They’ll rip on the previous pastor and tell the interim that he’s just what the church needs … even if they don’t yet know him.
Some interims fall for this approach. Maybe they no longer feel significant in ministry or they need affirmation or they’re glad to hear that the previous pastor had his foibles. But then they take this information and embellish it.
However, if they were saner, they’d realize that the people who tried to push out the previous pastor may be at the forefront of pushing out the interim. People who crave power want it no matter who is leading their church.
In fact, let’s just say it: the bullies responsible for forcing out an innocent pastor should never be allowed to get anywhere near church leadership unless they repent … even if they become bosom buddies with the interim or the next pastor … and the interim/next pastor needs to know all the names of those who pushed out the previous pastor.
I recently asked a pastor this question: “If you became the pastor of a church, and you knew the names of those who pushed out the previous pastor, would you put any of those individuals into leadership?” My pastor friend didn’t even blink. He immediately uttered, “No.”
Forgive me, but how can pastors be so stupid?
If Jesus had stayed on the earth 40 years instead of 40 days, and He decided to get the old gang back together, would He have chosen Peter again?
Yes, because Peter repented of the fact he had denied Christ three times.
But do you think Jesus would have put an unrepentant Judas back into leadership?
No way.
And yet in church after church, after the previous pastor has left, Judas is asked to become a church leader … and we wonder why we can’t expand the kingdom of God.
Finally, most of the pastor’s supporters eventually turn on him.
I’m going to share a story that I’ve never told before.
Two months after my wife and I left our last church, I drove by myself back to our old place – a full day’s drive. Our house was on the market but hadn’t yet sold. We had left many things behind and needed to transport them to our new home.
I stayed for the last time in our old bedroom. That night, I walked around our former neighborhood and spotted the house of the individual most responsible for our departure.
I knew who that was and what he had done. In fact, his wife had called churchgoers in an attempt to harm our reputations. To this day, I don’t know why he attacked me, although my hunches are probably accurate.
Anyway, I sat on a park bench and prayed for him and his family. I forgave him and his wife. I asked God to bless them.
But several months later, this man spent an entire evening running me down in front of friends and supporters even though he had never confronted me to my face.
When he was allowed to do that, I knew what would happen: my wife and I would lose nearly all our friends from that church.
We weren’t there anymore. We didn’t know what was being said about us, so we couldn’t adequately defend ourselves.
After this trashing occurred, people who promised they would remain my friends slowly stopped being my friends … and I will probably never see them again this side of heaven.
The trashing was aided and abetted by a Christian leader who should have known better. He knew exactly what he was doing and why he was doing it. He was scapegoating me for the entire conflict.
After this happened, I contacted some friends from that church, but their attitude toward me had changed. They were done with me, and I knew it. They have made zero attempts to renew our friendship.
What hurts the most is not that we’ve lost friends, but that friends who once believed in us seem to have sided with our critics.
We still have a few friends in that community, and because they’ve remained with us through thick and thin, they will probably always be our friends, for which we’re grateful.
I can accept the fact that when a pastor and his wife move away from a church community, the pastor and his wife … as well as their church friends … will all make new friends … and gradually drop some of their old friends.
But I refuse to believe that God supports the trashing of a Christian leader’s reputation when that leader is not guilty of any major offense.
When I was nineteen years old – and had only been a youth pastor for two weeks – I learned about some sexual shenanigans that involved top leaders in my church. I was devastated.
My pastor – who later became my father-in-law – told me that night, “Jim, don’t ever be shocked by what Christians do.”
Over the years, I’ve tried to take his advice … but forgive me if I’m still shocked by how Christians behave during pastoral transitions.
Because if Christians preach that every person is made in the image of God … and that God loves every one of us … and that Christ died for every person … and that God isn’t finished with any of us yet … then how can Jesus’ people trash Christian leaders – especially those who aren’t present to defend themselves?
Let’s play on Jesus’ team … and not on Satan’s.
Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and information about upcoming seminars.
As Mr. Spock said:
“I have been and always shall be your friend.”
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Thank you so much. I have sensed that for years. Your friends are truly blessed, and I feel honored to be among them.
Jim
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I’m your friend for life…..
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Thank you for that, Sara!
Jim
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A lot of people left the church, because everything going on wasn’t allowing them to worship. Me included.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully things are better for everyone now.
Jim
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Amen and amen. We are all driven by the need to be justified. This is my experience. Charges are leveled but nothing is examined. You leave. Your friends ask about the charges, so you answer their questions. Your friends defend you and answer the charges you were not allowed to answer. And then something mysterious happens. The charges are dropped (too bad that didn’t happen in the very beginning of the whole mess) and new charges, unsubstantiated charges are spread to replace the old ones. Since you are not there to explain, there is no explanation or defense. Those charges are the ones that get quoted down the road.
The whole thing is just crazy and it is crazy making. Praise God for the friends that stick closer than a brother and help you keep your sanity. I totally understand why many of my friends are no longer in ministry.
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Nearly half the pastors who go through this experience leave the ministry for good. 70% of pastors who leave seminary are quitting ministry within 5 years. Where are the voices of outrage over what’s happening? Seminary professors, denominational executives, and prominent pastors all remain silent while their pastoral brethren are slaughtered. What is wrong with the evangelical church?
Let’s speak up and change things!
Jim
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My husband as a pastor suggested an interim come so that he could unravel the mess and see clearly the power-plays being made. Unfortunately I don’t believe this was the agenda of the interim. He was retired and missing the pulpit, he wanted to enjoy serving a congregation and the people who wanted answers for the mess were the ones who became viewed as the problem. He wondered why they couldn’t let things go and move on. Well, because they felt that their pastor got pushed out over unsubstantiated accusations and they wanted repentance and then to head in a direction that would put principles in place that wouldn’t let this happen to a future pastor. He seemed to feel that the pastor had resigned and turned the keys over to his leadership so let’s move on. My husband was thinking that a fellow pastor would be wise as to how the previous pastor had been treated and would know that if one pastor is treated that way there is a strong chance any future pastors would be as well. The interim assumed that it was just ‘personality issues’. Here is an observation though. We have had some families in churches we have been in that are devoted to every pastor they have. They serve them, support his leadership, watch his kids. Whether the pastor is senior or associate, they support and love up on him. It doesn’t matter the personality of the pastor, they feel that is their responsibility to support their God appointed leaders who they voted in and do everything possible to encourage and build them up so that they can lead without obstacles and frustrations. I have never seen these people turn on a pastor because of ‘personality’ issues. I know if they ever had to deal with proven sin in a pastor they would be grieved to the core because they are loving servants of the shepherds that God has given them. I think if I were a pastor following one whose leadership was attacked, I would be wanting to know who opposed the previous pastor and what was their agenda? if they had nothing valid, then I would be very leery of their flattery and especially their trying to bend my ear with all of his supposed wrong doing. I would stand by my fellow servant in the gospel, understanding the tremendous responsibility of leading the body of Christ and would take every opportunity to pave the way for the leaders in that body to be ones that are full of love, grace and humility. I guarantee if we are ever in a lay position in a church again, unless the pastor is involved in blatant sinful rebellion against God, his greatest advocates and servants in the church will be us. We have had some of those people in our lives and ministry and I can’t wait to see them receive their reward in heaven as we cheer them on and declare to the Lord what a blessing they were to us. May God richly bless those who do not hinder the Lord’s work and the ones whom God calls to lead. May He reward those who defend them. They are so needed.
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The best thing for an interim to say is, “I know that many of you love your previous pastor. It’s evident that he means a great deal to you. I don’t know all the circumstances behind his departure, but I’m sure that he wants this ministry to advance and for Christ’s kingdom here to expand. If you’d like to share your feelings about his departure, let’s set up a time to talk. In the meantime, my primary job will be to help this church heal and move forward.”
I can envision most of the congregation supporting the interim who can utter these words with sincerity. Yes, the pastor still has detractors and critics in the church, but they’re probably in the minority.
The worst thing for an interim to say is, “Your previous pastor isn’t here anymore. We aren’t going to mention his name because he’s irrelevant. There’s a cloud over him because of the way he left, and if you knew what I knew, you wouldn’t think very highly of him. So let’s all forget about the past and move forward.”
The interim who says this persistently is going to watch the previous pastor’s supporters and friends slowly leave the church. The interim might feel, “I’m the man now!” But shouldn’t he try and keep the church together rather than siding with one faction or the other?
You can’t fix stupid.
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I am also the wife of a pastor. I must say that this post was quite thought-provoking for me. We are into our sixth year past our exit. I had not given much thought about what went on there after we left. It took all the energy I had just to piece together life — we were churchless, jobless and homeless all at once! So we were scrambling to figure out what to do next.
In our first pastorate, we were forced out there as well. That church immediately called back the pastor that had served there just prior to our term there. It was very interesting, because that pastor had traveled back to the community many times after he left. He even spent some time with my husband! He probably regretted resigning and wanted back in. So he probably was instrumental in it all. As far as I know, he is still serving there. That’s been 10 years! Lesson there — be wary even of former pastors!??
I have heard Charles Stanley say: Be obedient to God and leave the consequences to Him. That has been life-changing for me in dealing with all the church mess. I don’t know any other answer!
But now for a positive transition we have just witnessed: We have been visiting a Methodist church. (We are Baptists, so this has been very interesting!) Methodists appoint their pastors. In May, the pastor announced he would be leaving. He had served for five years. He had a group to stand with him as he did this. Then the group knelt with the pastor and wife and blessed them and prayed with them. In the weeks until his last Sunday in June, prayers and support were offered for the leaving pastor and welcoming comments were made about the new pastor. He said ministers are farmers — some water, some plant, some harvest. The pastor left a watering can as a gift to symbolize this. Then, this past Sunday was the new pastor’s first sermon — he said wonderful things about the former pastor. No drama throughout any of the whole process. And no months and years until a new pastor was found. Just a smooth transition and church life continues seamlessly. How refreshing!
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Jan, thanks for sharing that about that healthy transition at the Methodist church. That’s the way it should be done … and that’s the way the handoff between John the Baptist and Jesus was handled. Jesus praised John’s character and ministry and cared deeply about him.
I can relate to your story about a predecessor trying to come back to the church. It’s unethical for a pastor to do that. That behavior should be exposed in some fashion. But if it was in a Baptist church, nothing was likely to happen. Baptists prize the autonomy of the local church above everything else … including right and wrong.
The longer I live, the more problems I see with congregational government. The powerbrokers and bullies can gain a disproportionate amount of power just by griping incessantly. Nobody does anything about it. The wrong people become the leaders in the church. And nobody comes to the church to hear the bullies preach!
Thanks again for reading. May God richly bless you and your husband.
Jim
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Jim, Yes, it was Baptist and autonomy IS the name of the game. I often asked my husband, Where is the Bishop???? There was just no one to step in to help. It was and is so frustrating.
I have never heard or read anything about ethical pastoral protocol, if there is such a thing, but I do believe that former pastor crossed the line! Please address this subject if you think it is worth it.
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Jan,
It’s unethical for a pastor to interfere with his successor’s ministry. Most denominations have a code of ethics that spells this out. You might look online for some codes of ethics involving pastors.
The problem is that Baptistic denominations are poor at enforcing ethics between pastors. It’s a tremendous weakness in the system. If I was a pastor in the XYZ denomination, I could spread rumors about Pastor Bill at the megachurch. As I kept up the pressure, Pastor Bill could eventually be fired, and even lose his career … and nothing would happen to me at the denominational level. They would just look the other way.
Sadly, I know about this kind of thing firsthand. It’s wrong, and we need to say it’s wrong … and the perpetrators need to be exposed and confronted. We let way too much stuff slide in Christian churches.
Hope this is helpful!
Jim
Jim
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