“You’ll never be popular.”
That’s what a retired policeman told me after I had preached a sermon early in my pastoral career.
He told me that my sermon was great, but that if I preached that way in the future, many churchgoers weren’t going to like it.
He was probably right.
Some Christians … and I count myself as one … do not always agree with certain popular teachings or practices in the Christian church.
In fact, just because they’re popular doesn’t mean they’re right … or even wise.
When you think outside the mainstream, you might just be a contrarian … even if you’re a follower of Jesus.
Let me give you several illustrations of what I’m talking about:
*The words to a well-known chorus state, “An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.”
Is that true?
I hear that phrase “the empty grave” used as evidence of Jesus’ resurrection all the time … but according to Scripture, the empty grave didn’t convince the women (Luke 24:1-3), Peter (Luke 24:12) or Mary Magdalene (John 21:10-13) that Jesus had risen from the dead.
Most people were convinced by Jesus’ appearances to them, not by the empty grave, which even the Romans tried to exploit (Matthew 28:11-15).
And yet every Easter, we hear that Jesus is alive because of the empty grave.
But it just isn’t true.
*If you’re a Christian, you must have a quiet time every day.
Where are the Bible verses that say this?
They aren’t there.
There are many verses that espouse the wisdom of prayer and communing with God, but how many of God’s people in either Testament owned their own Bibles?
Very, very few … and nobody owned all 66 books.
Yes, having a daily quiet time is a wonderful practice, and I can attest to its blessing.
But if you miss a quiet time here and there, you haven’t sinned, nor should you feel guilty … and pastors shouldn’t intimate that’s the case when Scripture doesn’t say that.
*And then there’s the idea of church membership.
Several months ago, I had breakfast with several pastors. Somehow we began talking about church membership.
One of the pastors was very enthusiastic about membership. He believes that when people commit themselves to a church, great things will happen in their lives.
Maybe so … but I hold a different view.
I’m not against church membership, but I’ve never been a big fan of the practice. I could tell you story after story where (a) formal church members weren’t committed, (b) nobody in leadership did anything about it, and (c) some non-members were far more committed to Christ and the church than many members were.
Besides, I don’t find the idea of formally “joining a church” anywhere in the New Testament, so to me, it’s an optional practice, not one that’s essential.
My wife and I attended one of America’s largest churches … a place where people are coming to Christ right and left … and they don’t have membership. They have covenants for leaders and teachers, but no formal membership process.
I like their approach much better than traditional membership.
Now if I attend a church and I don’t completely agree with their views on Jesus’ resurrection, quiet time, and church membership, what should I do about it?
*I can keep silent and never discuss my views with anybody … but how will I learn or grow if I do that? (And what if I’m right and they’re wrong?)
*I can speak only to my spouse or a close friend in confidence … but that puts a lot of pressure on one or two individuals to listen to me, especially if I hold many contrarian views.
*I can speak privately with the pastor … a staff member … an elder/deacon … or another leader … and ask them questions or challenge their beliefs … but in all honesty, many church leaders view those with minority views (even if they’re biblical) as nuisances to be tolerated or ignored.
*I can leave that church and try to find another church where all my views line up with theirs … but there is no church utopia anywhere.
*I can attend church sporadically or even quit church altogether … but then I’ve isolated myself from many of God’s people.
*I can write a blog, share my views in writing, and ask people to interact with my ideas … which is what I’ve chosen to do … because I hold a lot of contrarian views … especially when it comes to church conflict and pastoral termination.
But Christian contrarians pay a price: they ultimately end up feeling isolated … alone … and very, very different.
I’ve identified five reasons why I’ve become a Christian contrarian. See if any of these resonate with you:
*I grew up in a Christian home where we went to five church meetings every week because my father was a pastor. While I had many friends, my parents taught a strict morality: no smoking, alcohol, moviegoing, dancing, card playing, or listening to rock music. When you’re told that Jesus might not take you to heaven at the rapture if He finds you in a movie theatre, you can’t help but define yourself as being an outsider.
*My father died when I was 13, and all my other friends had fathers who taught them how to tie a tie, drive, and ask girls out on dates. When you grow up without a dad or mom, it’s easy to feel abnormal.
*In social settings, I’m an extrovert when I’m in charge, but an introvert when I’m not. And when I’m not in charge, I can feel very uncomfortable … even awkward.
*In seminary, I had to attend chapel four days a week, and my best friend Dave … now the pastor of a thriving church … sat next to me in the back row. Dave continually commented on and rebutted anything he disagreed with, and after a while, I started thinking like him. If you’re a contrarian, it’s likely that another contrarian heavily influenced you.
*I’ve been reading Scripture regularly since my early teens, and I have a good grasp of its major themes and practices, but when I hear a pastor teach something that Scripture doesn’t teach … no matter who says it, or how often it’s repeated … my “church crap” monitor immediately blares … and I’m powerless to turn it off.
Know what? Our churches are populated with many Contrarian Christians, but they’re never completely comfortable because, in the words of Paul Simon, they “think too much.”
And in the average Christian church, only the pastor and a handful of other leaders are allowed to do much thinking at all.
So Contrarian Christians never feel at home in a local church. They have too many questions … too many uncertainties … and too many struggles to always buy the party line.
So they come off as partially committed … agreeing with most church beliefs … but questioning a lot of church practices.
In my last blog post, I mentioned some struggles I’ve been having during the thirty-minute “worship” time in most churches. Over the past five years, I’ve probably attended 60-70 different churches, so I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in Christendom these days.
And what I see sometimes disturbs both my mind and my spirit (like singing one song for 8-10 minutes).
Since I’m no longer a pastor, what am I supposed to do with my thoughts and feelings?
Rather than monopolize my wife’s attention with my concerns, or just suppress who I am, I’ve chosen to write this blog, where I can express my thoughts … state my case … test my theories … and solicit further input.
That may work for me, but what about the average Christian Contrarian?
Many of them feel they just don’t fit anymore, and so they’re slowly but sadly walking away from church altogether. In fact, I’m convinced this is a major reason why many believers have stopped going to church for good.
I once shared a view I have on a major social issue with a megachurch pastor. He blurted out, “You can’t say that!”
It’s not something I’ve read or heard anywhere else, but I believe my view might make an important contribution to the whole debate about that issue.
My view isn’t anti-biblical or heretical. It’s just a different way of looking at things.
Is that good?
I believe it is.
But when or how could I express that view in today’s local church?
I can’t, because most churches lack any kind of forum for discussion or dissent. I might be labeled as a non-conformist … a troublemaker … or, God forbid, an independent thinker.
In my opinion, if churches would make room for the Contrarian Christians in their midst, they’d keep more of their people, and might learn something in the process.
After all, in His day, our Founder was the Biggest Contrarian of Them All.
Oh my, Jim. I so relate to this! Yes, my upbringing was like yours! As a pastor couple out of ministry for 7+ years, we feel so “abnormal” in church. My husband has served in some capacity of ministry (mostly bi-vocational) for 30 years. We see too much and know too much and are just not normal anymore. And once you see what is wrong, you can’t unsee it! And then you wonder, doesn’t anyone else see? You have brilliantly put into words what I have been unable to!
I have no idea where we belong or what we are to be doing. We have visited churches for the past 7 years but have not found where we are to be. It is such a puzzling experience. What is the answer?
And your last two blogs have been right on also! Holiness is missing from church and worship leaves much to be desired! I do not know the songs anymore and they seem so shallow. Very self-centered, not God-centered.
I am so thankful you have this venue to voice your thoughts and to see that there are others just like you. There are no answers to the endless questions. These are my feeble words to add. Just know you nailed it in this one! You just might have another book in you — Christian Contrarian. That is very intriguing. Could that become a new denomination? Yes, I am Contrarian. Keep writing! We are reading!
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Thanks for your encouragement, Jan. It’s a burden to see and know things that others don’t see. Sometimes it would be easier if I was a new Christian. I read something today about the people who call in to talk radio. They are often people who don’t feel that anybody listens to them and they just want someone to hear them so they know they’re not alone. Sometimes I feel very much alone in our great big Christian world, but in saying that, I know I’m not alone.
After I wrote my article on Contemporary Worship, I wondered if I was being too critical. I read the article to my wife, and she stopped and said “Right on!” and “Amen!” all the way through, so I concluded, “Well, maybe I’ve just touched a nerve.” I’m been going through some funny things recently regarding the local church, and even though I was employed by churches for 36 years, I just don’t feel that I belong anymore.
In describing his Christian faith, Bono from U2 has been fond of saying that he feels at times like he’s more a fan of the band than in the band. I now know what he means!
For us, I think it’s that God made us to be leaders, and unless we start our own church … and that is not going to happen … we’re never going to be fully comfortable being passive churchgoers. All of us in church ministry have to retire sometime … and some of us have been “retired” early … but I didn’t know it was going to be this hard to handle.
I’m grateful that you read what I write. If you keep reading, I will keep writing!
Jim
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Reblogged this on ramble on child of God… and commented:
I’ve never re-blogged before…but this one is a good one! Take a few moments to read.
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Thanks for reblogging my article, Kim. I very much appreciate it!
Jim
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I shared it on fb as well. The empty grave…quiet time…memberships…things to ponder. I agree with much in your blog. I enjoy reading it!
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Thanks again, Kim!
Jim
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Ironically, I was called divisive for reposting this.
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I wonder who called you divisive?
Our churches are filled with people who don’t think for themselves and believe whatever they’re told, even if they’re told to believe or do things that aren’t in Scripture. The point I was trying to make is that we should be biblical Christians, that we should seek to follow Scripture in everything we say and do. I suppose that’s being divisive in some circles, but maybe it’s a telling commentary on how biblically shallow the church of Jesus Christ is today.
I’m an evangelical who believes in the authority of Scripture. I love the Lord. But too many Christians let their feelings dictate how they live rather than their brains. And if you value thinking over feelings these days, I think that automatically makes you a contrarian Christian.
Jesus was certainly a contrarian in His day. In the Sermon on the Mount, He constantly said, “You have heard it said … but I say to you.” He rocked the boat, didn’t He?
We need more boat-rockers … not less … in the Christian community. It’s okay to tell the truth … just do it in love … and realize that many Christians “just can’t handle the truth.”
Thanks for writing!
Jim
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God bless brother Jim! There is no coincidences with God when it is about His children’s needs. This morning I search for “christian contrarian” definition and found your post. What a blessing! I had never heard the term before and when I read it on Gary Wayne’s Genesis 6 Conspiracy back cover book about who he is, then I search for a clearer definition and found your blog. You have described my feelings so well, my struggle to belong to the right church group which I haven’t find yet. I am a seaker, an out of the box thinker, a fearful child of the Lord, an avid reader because I had so many questions and Yashua has opened doors and I have had find the answers. Answers about topics not taught from church altars, not even taught on christian seminar which I attented for 2 yrs. As an invited speaker to a ladies meeting I brought up a controversial topic. I was very careful into providing biblical and historical references. It was so controversial that right now I don’t think I will be invited again. However, in another ladies meeting, I hinted about another topic and they want me to start several meetings in order to learn more about it. Yes, there will be always those who receive and others will not. It happens to the Number One controversialist when some disciples complain about His teaching and they walked away. I grew up with a christiam family, my mother is a devoted missionary who has dedicated 40 of her 50 years on a mission in Dominican Republic were she has founded 10 churches in a place were they do not accept women’s ministry. Mom understands me because she is a contrarian too! However, being of different generations she’s got some views a bit different than mine. I don’t accept things as face value, I need to dig and be convinced. Therefore, I am so happy and encourage to know I am not the only one. There is a big crowd out there too and I believe we should not be quiet because this Holy Fire is an awakening due to such perilious end of times. Right now I started to attend a church after not congregating for 2 yrs. I understand that my gift can not be used if I keep withdrawing from my brethren. I am determine to serve the Lord with this gift. It will not be easy, nor it was to the biblical prophets either. Thanks again for letting the Holy Spirit guide u with this blig. I feel so blessed and encouraged. U r now part of my daily prayers.
Isabel L. Sconemberg.
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What a wonderful note, Isabel. Thank you so much!
I don’t think a Christian contrarian should be grumpy all the time. God knows we already have enough of those people! But we need many more biblical contrarians … people who insist that all our teachings and beliefs be biblically based, even if some teachings are popular.
Let me give you an example.
I attended a church service yesterday where the praise and worship songs were repeated over and over again. But how many times in Scripture do we find that kind of repetition? Hardly ever. While it’s not wrong – or unbiblical – to repeat songs over and over, it isn’t biblical, either … so it’s optional. That’s solid contrarian thinking!
May the Lord richly bless you. Just make sure whenever you state an original or contrary view, you do so in love. Nobody likes a crotchety contrarian!
Jim
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Thank you! I didn’t know how to describe who I am. Not the basic Christian, dismissed from my church of 4 generations. Went Messianic, for 3 years. The last 14 years, studied The Word alone….well, the Holy Spirit sure has guided my studies! I’m reading your book, “The Genesis 6 Conspiracy! ” Again, Thank you!!! I sit, read, and yell out, “Amen!”
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Hi Linda, Thanks for your comment. To be accurate, I didn’t write a book on Genesis 6, but I did write one on church conflict. A contrarian Christian is one who strives to be as biblical as possible, even when their views are unpopular or ecclesiastically incorrect. We need believers like this in every assembly. Hope you’re profiting spiritually from your discoveries.
Jim
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Oh my GOODNESS! I believe that I may be a Christian contrarian! Hmm, now what to do with this information…
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Jo, You don’t need to do anything with the information. Just be yourself. The body of Christ needs contrarians to keep everybody honest.
Jim
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Thanks for this writing. It really hit home for me as someone who sees a lot of filler in modern churches. Singing and playing music has its place but when it’s the majority of the service I feel like the point is being missed. Going to church should be a learning experience filled with the study of God’s Word. Often church sessions are music and stories with a light sprinkling of scripture. Sadly I have not gone back in a long time.
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James, I appreciate your comment. I’m sure there are many people who can resonate with your experience. I watch a pastor friend of mine every Sunday morning on the Roku app and then I go to our church … kind of the best of both worlds. There are many great churches that broadcast their services using Roku apps. Just a thought!
Jim
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Hi Jim, I too read the back of Gary Wayne’s book “The Genesis 6 Conspiracy and Googled ” What is a Contrarian Christian” and got led here, well i am pleased to say I am a Contrarian Christian…And here i was thinking I was a weirdo all these years, I just cant cop being shoved in a box and told to stay there! So I walked away after 30 years, We have learnt more about Jesus on the outside! We live in Australia out in the boonies but have found a few Contrarian Christians in which we fellowship under a tree! That is our Church. Love your blog and by the way, when I read it I felt you were very sincere, my crap meter never went off! Blessings to you and your Ministry.
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Thank you, Robin, for your kind words. If you think biblically … if your blood is bibline, as Charles Spurgeon used to say … then you’ll automatically become a contrarian Christian. I’m a pretty conventional person in nearly every way except my thinking, and that’s what makes me a contrarian. Be who God made you to be and you’ll make your best contribution to the Christian faith. Have you thought of writing your own blog?
Jim
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Thank you this blog. I guess I have finally found out that I may “fit in” after all. I have just begun reading Gary Wayne’s book The Genesis 6 Conspiracy. I too have been around the spiritual blocks, feeling more the misfit to any one denomination or non-denomination. I do identify strongly as a Christian and now as a Christian contrarian. Thank you for your grace and truth. I believe that community is important and I’m not sure how to get to true community in this current culture of ours. I’ll stay tuned.
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Thanks so much for reading and for writing, Shannon! There are many Christian contrarians in the body of Christ today. We aren’t contrarians because we don’t fit in socially, but because we believe that, while certain teachings are popular, they aren’t supported by Scripture. God bless you!
Jim
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I am, have been raised, to do things differently
I am a recovery alcoholic.
To that I find a problem, take that to a solution
Then put that into action.
That’s the way I have been raised.
There is the kind of people who watch things happen , there is also the kind of people who wonder what has.happen and there is the kind of people who make things happen. I am one of these kind of people.
Don’t sit around and let life go by , get out there and see what you can contribute to life.
I sometimes feel it is hard to enlarge my spiritual life with religion, two separate things.
I go to Church believe in the trinity and I am a Christian.
Bring people to God as I understand him.
Does that make me a contrarian?
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Hi Myron,
If you’re a Christian, that automatically makes you a contrarian in our culture!
A contrarian isn’t someone who joins groups easily. A contrarian likes people but isn’t swayed by public opinion. He or she thinks for themselves. A contrarian is an independent thinker.
The contrarian isn’t a difficult person but is someone who is far more rational than emotional. And the contrarian really thinks things through.
And for the Christian, a contrarian is someone who measures everything that pastors or others say by Scripture. Their blood runs “bibline!”
Hope this helps!
Jim
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Well, there’s contrarian’ and then there’ s some who consider themselves contrarians because they don’t believe scripture and still call themselves Christians even though they believe in a different Jesus, and apparently even a different God. Contrarians can also be obstinate and stiff-necked – so it works both ways. Maybe you’re not a contrarian at all if Truly in Christ. For ‘you are not of this world, The world loves it’s own”. The question is are you a Christian or just a contrarian still rebelling again child hood upbringing. I have a different situation, i found out I was being raised by a ‘contrarian pastor’..and after the age of 50 was confronted with the Living God found out many of what I’d come to hear was not true, now you have one that is ‘contrary to the contrarian. And can now See it’s all True. Scripture is true, despite what i was told ‘to the contrary’. Our pastor today is an admitted ‘contrarian’…a ‘liberal progressive “Christian” (if such a thing can even exist)…and I find him under-mining the Faith at ever opportunity he can find , just to live up to his assumed ‘title’.
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Stephen, I am a biblical contrarian, holding popular teachings up to the authority of Scripture and discarding those that don’t align with Scripture. Whenever I hear some new teaching, I don’t embrace it immediately, no matter who says it. Instead, I test it by Scripture and either accept or reject it. But it’s surprising how many current teachings are not solidly backed in God’s Word.
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Amen, brother!
I didn’t have to attend seminary to be contrarian. Unfortunately, if you haven’t been to seminary, many pastors, elders and other church leaders won’t listen to you. They’ve bought into the mistaken belief that seminary is a necessary prerequisite for teaching. But where does the Bible say that? None of the Apostles went to seminary. None of the pastors that Paul discipled (Timothy, for instance) went to seminary. I think seminary is as unbiblical an idea as the church has ever had, but how many of them want to take your money for teaching you what you should be learning at the local church for free?
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Allen, thank you for your thoughts. I did attend seminary, and found it to be highly beneficial. What seminary did for me … and I can only speak for myself … is that it gave me confidence to speak from Scripture with authority. I learned what the critics said about the Bible down through the ages, and I learned how to rebut them well enough to maintain my faith in God’s Word.
I’m a biblical contrarian. I measure what people say and do by Scripture, and if it falls short, I don’t pay attention to them. But I’ve learned that if you just preach the Bible, you’re automatically a contrarian in our culture … and often in the Christendom.
Since most churches have only one teacher these days … the pastor … he often won’t let anybody else teach, and that, I believe, is a most unbiblical view. I was a pastor for 36 years and have an earned doctorate from a leading evangelical seminary, but most pastors won’t let me teach anything because I pose too much of a threat to them. So that’s the flip side of what you’re talking about, Allen.
God bless you!
Jim
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i grew up in a very relaxed Midwest Methodist upbringing and after moving to California starting my own family and trying to take my gifts in to be used at Church…sadly you have just described my experience later in life ♤ perfectly. i had even tried years back to connect with the Pastor of a large local church and quickly learned that doesn’t work. shame on the leadership of these organizations who feed there flock from a teet and know not how to feed them solid food.
yes, Brother Jim, I feel like like i do not fit in….into the “we accept Jesus” [rather than He chooses us] generation. “christians” are gravely stuck in a works based treadmill of “winning lives for Christ”….this is day one of understanding fully what contrarian means in context of my Christian beliefs so i should keep it brief. Im said to say I am as you described in that position of just not going nor participating any longer.
Jesus was definitely guilty of, in Judaism terms, contrarian mischief ! one of the #1 typical points i keep in mind. thank you for this post! Blessings to you
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Scott, I believe all the historic Christian doctrines and subscribe fully to the authority of Scripture and the Lordship of Christ, but there are many practices that churches engage in that lack biblical authority, and those are the ones I mentally challenge. Because I was a pastor for 36 years, I didn’t rock the boat most of the time, and when I did, I learned when to drop things. But Christian leaders need to value people who think a bit differently, and most won’t do so because we easily get dismissed as being “cranks.” Keep the faith and practice love but don’t be afraid to view things unconventionally!
Jim
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Well now I know, I am also a contrarian. since 1960 I’ve been searching, wondering why I don’t feel the way others do or I don’t interpret things the way others do, but I have no one with whom to talk. I’ve mentioned certain things to my sister and I’m sure she must feel I have a certain place in hell. When I read your blog it’s as if you were reading my mind, I’m so happy there is finally someone I can relate to. Recently I found a book, the title is The Genesis 6 Conspiracy by Gary Wayne. Now, It’s 2 in the morning and I’m beginning to read this book, so I’ll sign off till another time.
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Hi Charlotte, Thank you for your note. If you’re like me, you sometimes have an unease about some of the conventional beliefs and practices in churches, but you can’t always figure out why you feel the way you do. We need contrarians in Christ’s church! We may not always be right, and we may be listened to infrequently, but we still have much to offer. May God help you to accept the way He made you and may you use your “gift” to help the church be wiser and stronger.
Jim
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Dr. Meyer! I’m 38 years old and have been an adult for over 8 years now. Never have I read something that read like I was telling someone my own life-story-as-a-christian. I became a contrarian at a very young age. One of the last memories of my father was him disciplining me for asking him what the F word meant after I heard him say it to my mother. It has taken about 30 years for me to understand why that situation never made sense. I didn’t even know what a contrarian was until 10 minutes before I found your blog! Talk about an eye-opener. I tried hundreds of churches up and down the east coast and just gave up in the end. I’ve been walking alone with God for the past 10 years. I read everything I could get my hands on to find out why He and I seemed to be on a different plane of understanding than everyone else seems to be. Now… I’m thankful! I tell you, Dr. Meyer, He really is the biggest contrarian of all. I have lost count how many times I could have used eye-openers like this so long ago, and yet, I know I wouldn’t have any faith in Him at all if He had just let me know. So, thank God for you and your blog!
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Hi Jason, What a great note! Thank you for making my day. If God made you a contrarian, then by all means, be a contrarian … just make sure you exercise your perspective in love.
May the Lord richly bless you in the days ahead, Jason.
Jim Meyer
Menifee, CA
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