Pastor Henry felt all alone.
Along with his wife and two sons, Henry had just received an invitation to become the next pastor of Grace Church, a thousand miles from his last ministry.
Henry and his wife Mary surveyed the congregation when they initially visited the church but couldn’t seem to find anyone they might want as personal friends.
But one morning during his first week, Henry received a call from Bret, a longtime member who told Henry he’d come by the church at 11:30 to take his new pastor out to lunch.
Exhausted from the move, Henry was glad that someone was taking the initiative to get to know him.
Bret took Henry to an expensive restaurant, telling his pastor all about the community, the church … and the previous pastor.
In fact, Bret told Henry a lot about the previous pastor. Pastor Mark was a good preacher who led the church through a time of unparalleled growth. This information made Henry feel insecure. How could he hope to compare favorably with a predecessor he didn’t know and might never meet?
But Bret didn’t just recite the previous pastor’s virtues. Bret also slammed Pastor Mark’s leadership in many aspects of ministry, and told Henry that Mark was pushed out of office due to his shortcomings.
Henry felt better as he realized that Pastor Mark wasn’t perfect, but had his own issues.
And then Bret told Henry, “You know, I’m so glad you’re here. You’re just what this church needs at this time. And whatever you need, I’ll be glad to help.”
As Bret drove Henry back to the church, the new pastor felt a bond developing with his new friend. “Finally, somebody believes in me” he thought.
Over the next several months, Bret and his wife Hope invited Henry and Mary to their home for dinner. The two couples quickly hit it off and became best friends. They went to movies together, ate in each other’s homes, and saw each other nearly every week.
Six months later, when it came time to suggest names for elders, Henry recommended that Bret be considered. The others on the nominating team remained strangely silent, not saying yes or no. Henry backed off. Two others were selected instead.
For the next several years, the two families got along famously … and everybody at church knew it.
One Tuesday night, Hope called Henry and asked him to come over right away. When Henry arrived, he found Bret in a foul mood. According to Hope, Bret had been drinking and had verbally and physically abused his wife.
Henry did not like what he was hearing.
An hour before the next meeting of the official board, Henry met with Jeff, the board chairman, and asked Jeff what he knew about Bret and Hope.
Jeff was reluctant to say anything. After all, everybody knew that the two families were tight.
But Henry insisted, and Jeff finally said, “Bret has a drinking problem, and he refuses to get help for it. Bret wants to be on the church board, but we can’t let him because, in Paul’s words, he is ‘given to drunkenness,’ ‘violent,’ and ‘quarrelsome.'”
Henry suddenly felt very foolish.
Jeff went on, “Pastor, I don’t know how to say this right, but your relationship with Bret and Hope is causing some people in this church to question your judgment.”
After the board meeting, Henry went home and told Mary what Jeff had said. Mary and Hope had become very close, but Hope had never shared with Mary anything about Bret’s drinking … or any other weaknesses they had.
Several weeks after visiting Bret’s house, Henry started noticing that Bret and Hope were no longer attending services. Henry thought about contacting Bret, but he knew such a conversation would drain him of much-needed energy to run the church.
A couple months later, chairman Jeff called Henry and told him that a campaign was underway to remove Henry from office. When Henry asked Jeff who was behind the campaign, he was told, “Bret and his wife Hope.”
Henry’s heart sank.
As a longtime member, Bret had developed friendships with many people in the church over the years, and he had a good idea who he could influence to join his “throw out the pastor” team.
Henry decided to ask Jeff a question that he had never asked before: “When Pastor Mark was forced to leave this church, who was most responsible for his departure?”
Without hesitation, Jeff answered, “Bret and Hope.”
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Insecure pastors … and there are thousands of them around … often compare themselves to other pastors … especially their predecessors.
A wise pastor quietly gets to know the previous pastor so he can (a) form his own opinions about his personality and ministry; (b) learn about that pastor’s influence and tenure firsthand; and (c) tap into that pastor’s wisdom concerning key junctures in that church’s past.
A foolish pastor rejoices when the previous pastor is denigrated, thinking it makes him look good by comparison.
But the same person who criticizes the previous pastor will eventually criticize the current one.
And the same person who supported the previous pastor will eventually support the current one as well.
Many years ago, I learned the wisdom of Proverbs 13:20: “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Pastors need to choose their church friends carefully, or the friends they latch onto early in their ministry make turn to bite them later on.
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I once met a man (I’ll call him Peter) who had served as the senior pastor of a church I had known my entire life. That church’s first pastor lived two houses down from my house, and I went to school … and later church … with his children.
My uncle, aunt, and cousins had attended that church as well.
Years later, I made many friends in that church.
And eventually, I was called to be on their staff.
While Peter and I were talking, I shared with him some conflicts that occurred during my time in that church … conflicts that became so embedded in that church’s culture that they later affected Peter’s ministry.
I could tell that Peter had an enlightened understanding of what happened to him in that church.
Why don’t more new pastors contact their predecessors and gain that wisdom and understanding up front?
Could it be because of people like Bret and Hope?
I had several who really went on tarnishing my name because they did not achieve what they wanted through my ministry .
It is very true they can break your ministry
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I am sorry that happened to you. I can never understand how someone can claim to be a Christian and yet turn around and attack a spiritual leader. God certainly cannot bless such individuals. May the Lord richly bless you, Peter!
Jim
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