Greetings! I’m Dr. Jim Meyer, a former pastor for 36 years. I have a special interest in pastoral termination and church conflict.
MY BLOG
The goal of my blog is: “preventing and resolving church conflicts biblically.”
I write on church conflict, disagreements with pastors, pastoral termination, and controversial issues, occasionally writing about stuff that interests me.
My goal is to provide content that is biblically based, relevant, practical, and realistic. I tend to talk about issues that usually stay behind closed doors, issues that most Christian leaders avoid.
As of 2021, I’ve posted 600 articles, categorized by topic. The most popular article – viewed four times more than any other – is called “If You Must Terminate a Pastor.”
MY MINISTRY
Are you in the midst of a conflict as a pastor, staff member, or board member? I’ve been there myself – many times.
During my 36 years in church ministry as a senior pastor and staff member, I took a special interest in the way that churchgoers treated their pastor when they strongly disagreed with him. Sometimes people left the church. Other times, they formed a faction and tried to force the pastor to leave instead. But most of the time, Christians who disagreed with each other didn’t consult or follow what the Bible had to say about conflict. Instead, they used politics or overreacted emotionally – nearly always damaging the pastor, the congregation, and themselves in the process.
I have seen all too many church conflicts up close and personal. My father was a pastor and was forced out of his last church. As a staff member, I watched as one of my pastors was voted out of office in a public meeting. And in late 2009, after 10 1/2 years of successful ministry in the same church, I resigned because of the relentless criticism of a vocal minority.
I spent the next three years writing my book Church Coup: A Cautionary Tale of Congregational Conflict detailing what happened in my last ministry. The book was published by Xulon Press in the spring of 2013 and can be purchased from my website or from Amazon.com. My great desire is to teach pastors, board members, and congregations alike to handle conflict situations in a biblical and compassionate manner rather than letting anger or irrationality rule the day.
Because of the damage inflicted on everyone involved in a forced termination effort, I long to see churches handle such matters with truth and grace instead.
MY TRAINING
I’ve been interested in church conflict and pastoral termination for forty years. In seminary, I took a class in Managing Church Conflict. When I entered the Doctor of Ministry program at Fuller Seminary (where I was taught by Archibald Hart, David Augsburger, and Leith Anderson, among others), my focus was on church conflict, and I wrote my final project on local church antagonism as discussed in the New Testament informed by family systems theory. Besides extensive reading and studying in the field, I’ve completed Peter Steinke’s conflict training called BridgeBuilder and I’m qualified to offer it in local churches.
MY CONTACT INFORMATION
I am available for coaching and consultation concerning potential and actual conflict situations. I offer my services without charge. You can contact me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org and we can set up a time to talk, usually the day you write me.
MY BIOGRAPHY
I grew up in Anaheim, California, just two miles from Disneyland. My father was a pastor. I am a graduate of Biola University (Bachelor of Arts), Talbot School of Theology (Master of Divinity), and Fuller Seminary (Doctor of Ministry). I reside in Menifee, California with my wife of 46 years, Kim. We have two adult children, Ryan and Sarah, and four grandsons: Jack, Liam, Henry, and Theo.
My primary interests are sports (especially the San Francisco Giants), music, British mysteries, and travel … preferably to England.
What a wonderful tribute to your father. Also shows your amazing memory of many things I either was not aware of or had forgotten. On that day 44 years ago, I asked the Lord to give me the strength to raise my children for Him. Your writing shows that He answered that prayer! Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Your Mother
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Mom, it’s good to get things down on paper before we forget, isn’t it? One of the best gifts I’ve ever received was when you put together the family album with all the photos many years ago. I treasure that book and refer to it often, especially all the pictures with Dad. Thanks for providing such a great example of familial love in action.
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Thank you for your insights. As an elder & part time pastor I appreciate all that you are doing for the Body of Christ. Pastor Chuck Austin turned me on to your articles (can I say “turned me on “? I guess I can I am over 60 don’t you know). It is a priviledge to serve with Pastor Chuck here at 1st B Auburn, CA. I Cor.15:58.
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Vince, I should have gotten back to you a few weeks ago when you initially wrote me. At the time, we were moving into our new house and life was pretty chaotic. I appreciate Chuck’s friendship and his pastor’s heart. You’re working with a good man!
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I am so glad to find these reflections and learn of the aim of your ministry. I have yet to recover from a painfull departure. I think it might be worth considering apropriate ways an independant organization could work to secure a platform for pastos needing to have some redress or remedies considered. I am eager to gain a fuller sense of where you will be heading with the work and pray for paths of healing and restoration for those leaders whose work and purpose has been sacrificed to apease some institutional anxiety or mobbing behavior.
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Ralph, thank you so much for your comments. I agree with you completely that pastors need to have some court of appeal in the Christian world. Because we aren’t supposed to sue our churches, their leaders have gained a sense of immunity. They can do and say anything they want and not suffer any consequences. However, in the corporate world, they couldn’t get away with anything.
I would really like to hear more about your story if you would feel comfortable doing so. I left my previous church 15 months ago and I can testify to the fact that healing comes slowly. Please email me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org and maybe we can communicate further. May God richly bless you, Ralph.
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I believe in you. I believe in your ministry. I believe in your vision. I believe that God has His purposes for where He leads all of us in this walk of life.
God has given you a direction to serve others who have lost their way with God because of others. We are all fallible. We hurt one another when we are hurt. You, Jim, have been blessed by God to show others how to heal with God.
I know you have God’s heart.
Kimberley A. (Sissy) Flanary
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Thanks, Kimberley, for your encouragement. Hope you’re doing well!
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yearning to serve with you ,pastor.
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good work,
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Thanks for this blog site. As a new Christian it gives me inspiration and great insights I.to how and why congregations (me) do the things we do. I am presently seeking a home based church. You have a great ministry here! I came originally seeking info on why people were attacking Rick Warren and your post, as well as the comments really gave me a sense of ease about how to view doctrine in general. Thank you!
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Thanks so much for the encouragement! I never know who is reading what I write, and it’s really a blessing to know that I am helping people like you.
Jim
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What a great blog! Reading your openness and honest words is a breath of fresh air.
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Thanks so much, Vincent. I try!
Jim
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Did you know the link to order your book isn’t working? Maybe its me?
Casey
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Hi Casey, It’s probably worn out from all the people who have ordered it! I suggest you buy it from Amazon. They have the e-book for only $8.99. But I’ll try and fix the link as well. Thanks for the heads up!
Jim
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Hello there fellow Biola alum! I happened to ‘trip’ upon your blog and would very much like to send an email. If you’d be so kind as to write to me, I will look forward to getting in touch.
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Thank you, Deb. You can email me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org. I graduated in 1975. What year did you graduate?
Jim Meyer
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Jim
Thank you for your blog.
I was “forced” to resign as assistant pastor after 5 years at our church of 500 Sept 1 2017. I am so hurt I cannot even begin to explain. I have been In the full time ministry for 25 years. The senior pastor began to squeeze me out and when I could not take his lies and badgering anymore I finally left. The Elder Board has yet to contact me and they believe everything that the senior pastor has told them about me (united). It seems that he and the Elder Board have done pretty much everything what you outlined in your blog “stopping slander in the church”. I have no job, no ministry and few friends but have taken some comfort front reading your material so thank you.
Stewart
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Greetings Stewart,
I am so, so sorry for what happened to you. I know the feeling all too well.
Would you like to talk on the phone in the next day or two? I would welcome the opportunity to hear your story. Maybe I can be of assistance to you.
Write me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org
Thanks, Stewart.
Jim Meyer
Menifee, CA
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Will do
Thanks!
Stewart
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Please write me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org and I will send you my contact information so we can talk.
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Hello Mr Meyer,
My name is Butch Shaw. I was just wondering if you are the same Jim Meyer that was a youth pastor in the early 80’s in Orange County
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Hi Butch, I was a youth director at Nutwood Street Baptist Church in Garden Grove from 1978 until the summer of 1981. Does that ring any bells?
Jim
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Do you remember a kid that gave you a 1969 Mickey Mantle card ? Haha. I went to nutwood with my family and got baptized there when I was about 15.
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Hi Butch, Were you that kid? If so, thank you! I probably still have it. The church changed its name years ago. I drove by there almost 15 years ago. Those were good years. How are you doing?
Jim
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Yes sir that was me. Haha. I have actually looked for you for years. I am not the most savvy computer guy. The night that you came to our house in Norwalk and talked to me about Jesus changed my life. I can understand you may not remember me as you have talked to many many people. But I will remember forever. After all we had a huge thing in common ….. baseball. I remember running in to you with my son after an Angel fame with my son. We were out there chasing autographs after a game.
I have been doing pretty well. Had a scare a few years ago but the lord had other plans and kept me walking this earth. Had a massive heart attack that did its best to get me. But thank God he watched over the emergency services and doctors to bring me back. Other than that I have been married to the same girl that I dated when I was 15. We have three children and 4 grandchildren. Baseball is still a big part of my life. We moved to South Carolina in 2004. A little different than the west coast but we love it here. How are you doing ?
Here is my email. cublefty64@sc.rr.com
Would love to catch up more. You still a big baseball fan ?
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Jim, not sure if you are still monitoring this site, but if you are I would appreciate finding out what scriptures you used when you put together the principles for conflict resolution at your church. I am a “word guy”, but also busy and I thought if you put in the time already, why re-invent the wheel. If you are willing to share those verses that were given to the various groups I would appreciate them.
We have just come through a challenging conflict with gossip, slander, and the lovely drama of “triangulation” between the chief gossiper and others she would go to for support with her multiple manipulative attempts to control and implant an agenda.
Thanks in advance for any help you may have. Jamie
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Hi Jamie, If you can send me your email address at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org, I will send you the Scriptures as well as several other helpful documents. I’m sorry for what your church has been through. In your email, please let me know if your pastor survived the conflict and how he is doing.
Jim
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Dear Pastor Jim:
Hello. I am interested in you and your ministry because and really only because you were a “student” or affiliated with Dr Ed Murphy. Years ago I went on a spiritual journey.with the Lord and have went on 2 since then. But when I go on them I always refer back to Dr Ed Murphy handbook. The first journey is when He directed me to that book. I was at a bookstore and had asked the Lord for a good spiritual warfare book to help me because I knew nothing. That book lit up on the shelf and I grabbed it. Awesome book. Anyway Thank you and God bless. C. South
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Hi Connie, I read your note yesterday but I’m just able to respond right now.
Ed Murphy was one of the greatest Christian leaders I ever knew. My home church supported him and Loretta as missionaries. I took his Book of Acts class at Biola and his Missions and Evangelism course at Talbot Seminary. He spoke at the church I served as pastor in Silicon Valley when he was with Overseas Crusades in the mid-1980s and gave me invaluable counsel concerning several spiritual warfare cases. We once had lunch together and he took out a legal pad and wrote down many of the things I said … which nobody has ever done before or since. When he wrote his Handbook of Spiritual Warfare, he sent me a signed copy … and it’s such a great book! After Loretta died, I lost track of what happened to him, so if you know anything, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know. Thanks so much for writing and helping me to recall one of the few Christian heroes that I still have left.
Jim
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I still do not understand why Rick Warren spoke at Obama’s Inauguration. Did he
Know Obama is a Muslim?
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Karen, Rick Warren didn’t speak at Obama’s inauguration. He prayed instead. He had hosted a debate between McCain and Obama in the summer of 2008 at his church. I am sure he disagreed with most of Obama’s agenda but saw an opportunity to serve his country and the new president. Rick Warren is like Billy Graham used to be: he will go anywhere as a representative of Christ, especially when he can preach the gospel. My guess is that Warren might not pray if asked today, but I could be wrong. God bless you!
Jim
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