From time-to-time, I receive emails from churchgoers whose pastors resigned suddenly. These concerned individuals want to know what, if anything, they can do about their pastor’s unexpected departure.
Someone wrote me recently asking that very question. This is how I responded (with some slight modifications):
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Thank you for writing. I’m sorry for what happened to your pastor. It’s happening a lot these days.
I’m going to suggest some things you can do that are perfectly within your rights as a longtime church attendee. More than anything, YOU WANT TO DETERMINE IF THE PASTOR RESIGNED VOLUNTARILY OR IF HE WAS FORCED TO RESIGN.
*Contact the pastor and/or his wife directly. Ask them what happened. Write down what they say for accuracy. If the pastor signed a severance agreement, he may not be able to discuss anything until the agreement expires. If he didn’t receive a severance agreement, he should be able to speak freely, although some pastors believe they’re being divisive if they say anything about their departure. (I don’t hold that particular viewpoint.)
*Find a copy of your church’s governing documents: the constitution and bylaws. Find the section on removing a pastor from office. (Some churches don’t have any governing documents, while others don’t have a section on removing a pastor.) Familiarize yourself with the key sections of those documents.
*Contact a member of the governing board of your church, whether they’re called elders, deacons, trustees, the church council, or something else.
*Ask the member you know best, “Which process did the board use that led to our pastor’s resignation?” It’s not time to ask about any charges that might have led to the pastor’s exit. Just focus on the process.
*Tell the board member you’ve contacted – or the entire board in writing – that you would like a written copy of the process that the board used to deal with the pastor. My guess is that most boards won’t have one in writing, but you’re doing them a favor by asking them for it anyway. They will be forced to think through the steps they used to secure the pastor’s departure. Since board members are usually voted into office by the congregation, the board needs to account to the congregation for how they treated the pastor. (And in congregationally-run churches, the pastor is voted on by the church as well.)
*If the board resists, don’t threaten or make demands. Just tell them that you’d prefer not to take things further. You just want a copy of the process. If they can’t or won’t produce it, then they may be hiding something.
A couple I know well told me that the board in their previous church forced out their pastor. Soon afterwards, due to feedback from the congregation, a board member stood up at the end of a Sunday service and told the body that the board wasn’t going to talk about why the pastor left and so people needed to stop talking about it.
My friends left that church soon afterwards … and I would have done the same thing.
A church board doesn’t need to tell their congregation everything about why their pastor left, but they do need to tell them enough. Most parishioners love and trust their pastor, and if he suddenly leaves, the board needs to be as forthcoming as possible to keep people’s trust. The quickest way to lose it is for them to say nothing.
This is why I recommend asking the board for a copy of the process they used. It doesn’t ask them to violate any matter that is strictly confidential. It just asks them to recite the steps they used. However, if they won’t reveal the process, or you sense they operated by the law of the jungle instead, your board members may be trying to cover up their role in your pastor’s departure.
*Compare the process they used to (a) the governing documents; (b) Scripture; and (c) labor law in your state. There are many articles on my blog that deal with the scriptural way to correct or remove a pastor.
*If a bully was involved in pushing out the pastor, and the board felt pressured by the bully, he/she won’t show up on the written process. But even if that’s the case, the board is still responsible for their decisions and actions.
*Ask around discreetly. Find people in the church’s inner circle who know what happened. Contact them directly. Ask them why the pastor resigned. Make sure their information comes from a reliable source.
*Ask questions of the right people, but refrain from offering your own opinions. If anyone wants to know what you’re doing, just say you’re trying to learn what happened. Assume that when you offer your opinion, you will be quoted and whatever you say will get back to the board. While no one can stop you from asking questions, they can and should stop you from forming a faction or making outrageous statements.
Sometimes a pastor may appear to be godly and gracious in public, but is nasty and mean in private. Sometimes the board will ask such a pastor to change his behavior but he will refuse. Sometimes a pastor resigns because he’s had an affair, or because he’s a tyrant. It’s hard to know who a pastor really is when parishioners only see and hear from him for an hour or two every week.
The church board may act independently of the congregation, or they may have received complaints against the pastor from certain key members. Board members can become incredibly anxious when important leaders or longtime friends threaten to leave the church unless the pastor is sacked.
Sometimes the pastor hasn’t been getting along with a staff member or a key leader and he’s pushed toward the exit as people choose sides. Many years ago, I attended a church where the pastor fired a popular staff member and soon afterwards, the pastor himself was forced to quit. In cases like these, the board doesn’t want to talk about the issues because they don’t want to reveal the names of those who weren’t getting along with the pastor.
Keep a written record of the questions you ask and the answers you receive. It is not divisive to try and find out what happened. It is divisive to form a faction, use it as a power base, and begin to issue threats and ultimatums. You should be allowed to have your say but not your way.
Once you’ve absorbed what I’ve written, feel free to respond or ask questions. I hope I’ve been helpful!
Restoring Kingdom Builders 
Disgraced or Graced?
Posted in Conflict with the Pastor, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged forced termination of pastors, It Could've Been Me, Matthew 1:19, pastoral termination, Phil Keaggy, Why I Stayed by Gayle Haggard on December 16, 2016| 2 Comments »
While reading the Christmas story again last week, I was struck by a phrase in Matthew 1:19. After Mary was discovered to be pregnant – presumably with another man’s child – Joseph her fiancee had several choices to make.
Because he was “a righteous man” – a man who thoroughly kept the Mosaic law – he intended to break off their betrothal because she had been sexually unfaithful to him. According to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Joseph had every right to not only “divorce” Mary but also to insist that she be stoned in order to “purge the evil from Israel.” Scripture seems to indicate that most men in Joseph’s situation would have had Mary executed.
But Matthew tells us that Joseph was guided by a different spirit. The ex-taxman writes that Joseph “did not want to expose her to public disgrace” so he decided to “divorce her quietly.”
He did not want to expose her to public disgrace. How unlike our culture. How unlike our media. And sadly, how unlike Christ’s church.
I’ve been reading Gayle Haggard’s book Why I Stayed recently. As you may recall, Ted Haggard was the pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs – a mega church of 14,000 – as well as the president of the National Association of Evangelicals. Some unflattering news surfaced about him a few years ago, and Pastor Haggard resigned from both his positions. Many women – even Christian women – would have left Mr. Haggard at that point, and would have been biblically justified in doing so. But Gayle chose to stick it out with her husband, thus the title of the book.
The story of her relationship with Ted makes for fascinating reading, but I was far more interested in the latter half of the book. Gayle describes the way that prominent Christian leaders, the church’s governing board, and their friends treated them during this time, and although she maintains a gracious, non-vindictive spirit throughout, the same cannot be said for the believers involved.
The Haggards – including Gayle, who was innocent of wrongdoing – were treated in a humiliating way by the church they founded in the basement of their home. Within a week of their departure, all traces of their ministry at the church had been purged. People who knew them were interviewed so as to find more “dirt” on them. Both believers and non-believers were able to say anything about them they liked but the Haggards were not permitted to reply. They were even told they had to leave the state of Colorado which meant that their children had to leave behind their friends and schooling.
No matter what they did, it was eventually misinterpreted. No matter what they said, it was flagrantly disregarded.
Pastors are fond of preaching on the fact that God can use anyone, even a liar like Abraham, a murderer like Moses, an adulterer like David, and a hothead like Peter. But let that same pastor fall into sin and he will be tarred, feathered, and blogged about ad infinitum, often by people who are his own teammates.
Phil Keaggy, who has long been my favorite Christian male artist, co-wrote a song with Sheila Walsh called “It Could’ve Been Me.” The song always makes me think and can bring me to tears. (The song is found on the CD Way Back Home and is available on iTunes if you’re interested.) After describing the fall of a Christian leader, Keaggy’s powerful chorus nails each one of us to the wall:
But it could’ve been me,
I could’ve been the one to lose my grip and fall.
It could’ve been me
The one who’s always standing tall.
For unless you hold me tightly, Lord,
And I can hold on too,
Then tomorrow in the news
It could be me, it could be me.
Just four chapters after Matthew 1, the grown-up Jesus said in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7). When Mary “fell” – which is what Joseph thought until the angel enlightened him – Joseph chose mercy over vindictiveness. Mary’s pregnancy undoubtedly caused her to lose her local reputation as a virtuous woman. It might even have ended her chances of ever marrying anyone.
But although we now know the back story, neither Joseph nor the folks in Nazareth did at the time. A modern love story would probably tell us that Joseph married Mary anyway, but as a keeper of the law, he couldn’t bring himself to do that … until God told Joseph that Mary was not only his soul mate but also the mother of the promised Messiah.
When pastors are forcibly terminated from their churches, they suffer many losses: their jobs, their income, their houses (in some cases), their careers (potentially), their marriages (sometimes) and most of their church friends. And though they’re almost always innocent, their family members suffer those same losses.
But just like Mary and Ted Haggard, they also lose their reputations, whether the charges made against them are valid or not.
I find it ironic that pastors, who are conduits of God’s grace to scores of sinners throughout their ministries, cannot find that same grace when someone accuses them of wrongdoing.
May I urge you, not only at this Christmas season, but in every season of life, to be gracious toward every sinner who comes into your life, whether it’s a woman pregnant out of wedlock or a pastor who has been forced to leave his church because our Lord Jesus Christ suffered public disgrace that we might become recipients of His grace.
That’s why II Corinthians 8:9 is my favorite Christmas verse: “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.”
May God give us the ability to treat wounded Christian leaders with the same grace that Christ has shown us … because only grace can lead us home.
Merry Christmas!
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I wrote this article six years ago. It was among the first ones that I published. It’s still relevant today.
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