“Broken before God … bold before men.” That’s how former pastor and author Warren Wiersbe once described the ideal demeanor of a pastor.
But when pastors have time to reflect upon their emotional condition, they may admit … if only to themselves … that they have some all-too-human fears.
Paul the apostle certainly did:
For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn – conflicts on the outside, fears within. 2 Corinthians 7:5
In a moment of candor, Paul admits that he and his travelling party had some fears. Paul was waiting to hear from Titus how the church in Corinth was doing, and especially how the Corinthian believers viewed Paul.
If the greatest of all the apostles admitted to having occasional internal fears, then certainly his successors can admit they have some as well.
What are some fears that a pastor might have?
First, pastors fear church stats heading south. Several years ago, I had lunch with a former megachurch pastor and author. For more than two decades, everything this man did inside his church turned to gold.
But one day, he realized that people weren’t listening to him like they used to do. In fact, attendance began taking a dive. Nothing he tried worked anymore. It was painful for him to admit that his ministry wasn’t the success it once was. And he realized inside his spirit that it was time for him to resign.
He was treated well by the church’s governing leaders. They were grateful for his successful work over the years and gave him a separation package that reflected their appreciation.
But here’s the scary part: the pastor never saw the drop in attendance coming. He assumed that since attendance had always gone up in the past, it would continue to rise in the future.
A drop in attendance isn’t always the fault of the pastor. Sometimes it’s due to a resistant community … or a less-than-competent staff … or governing leaders who are risk averse … or dozens of other factors.
But pastors can easily personalize those empty seats and blame themselves for them … even while they are preaching the Word of God.
When I was a pastor, I sat in the front row of the worship center with my back to the congregation before I preached. I usually wasn’t aware of the attendance until I stood on the stage. Sometimes, I’d expect a sparse crowd, and the place would be packed. Other times, I’d hope for a packed house and the place would be sparse.
Most pastors know that if there are too many Sundays with sparse attendance, someone is going to suggest that the church needs a new pastor … and that prospect frightens most pastors … because pastors cannot control attendance by themselves.
Second, pastors fear people leaving the church. If a family visited our church for a couple of Sundays, and they didn’t return, I didn’t lose any sleep. And if I heard that a family on the fringe was visiting another church, that was okay with me.
But I didn’t want to lose anyone who attended our church on a regular basis.
In my second pastorate, a single woman and her son attended our small church. Since she liked to sing, we provided opportunities for her to use her gift.
But one day, I noticed that she and her son had been missing for several weeks. The right thing to do was to call her and see how she was doing … but I didn’t want to make that call.
Why not? Because I had a feeling that I already knew what she was going to say … and I was right: “We’re visiting other churches.”
The only time I’ve ever seen Rick Warren cry is when he told several thousand pastors how much pain he feels when people leave Saddleback Church.
My guess is that whenever people leave a church, the pastor views their departure as a personal failure.
Jesus lost Judas. Paul lost Demas. God the Father has watched millions of His sons and daughters walk away from their faith. The best leaders lose adherents.
But when that happens, pastors often kick themselves and say, “If I was only a better preacher … a better leader … a better listener … a better counselor … we could have kept that family.”
And there are usually others around who want to kick the pastor because the ones who left are their friends.
But pastors have an even greater fear when a family leaves: they’re afraid that one family might entice others to leave … resulting in a mass exodus that could cripple attendance and giving.
Third, pastors fear false accusations. Paul sounds a bit defensive in 2 Corinthians 7:2 when he writes, “Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one.”
There were people in and around the Corinthian Church who were claiming that Paul was not a true apostle. They were hurling half-truths and exaggerations in Paul’s direction to discredit his ministry.
And when you read 2 Corinthians … as I often do … you can feel Paul’s pain as he writes. In fact, unfounded accusations have wounded me more than anything else I’ve experienced in 36 years of church ministry.
I once completed a personal assessment on my fitness to be involved in a particular ministry. I was taken aback by a statement that went like this: “I am willing to be a scapegoat for the local church.”
Did you catch that? Even before being hired, the assumption was made that any given pastor might end up being accused by churchgoers of things he didn’t do.
When I worked for McDonald’s 40+ years ago, various crew members were called into meetings to take polygraphs. They were usually asked if they had stolen money or if they knew anyone who had stolen money. During my two years there, I was never asked to take a polygraph even once. Even then, I had a reputation for honesty.
I had that same reputation among my peers … and in my neighborhood … and at the church I attended. When I became a youth pastor, that reputation remained intact.
But when I became a pastor, I was accused of various kinds of wrongdoing on occasion, even though nobody had ever accused me of those kinds of things before.
And after I left my last ministry, I was accused of all kinds of wrongdoing even though my accusers had not spoken with me face-to-face … and still haven’t. (Why bother? They accomplished their goal.)
I’m not alone among spiritual leaders in being falsely accused of sins never committed. Here’s what I read in my quiet time today from Luke 23:1-2 (from The Message):
Then they all took Jesus to Pilate and began to bring up charges against him. They said, ‘We found this man undermining our law and order, forbidding taxes to be paid to Caesar, setting himself up as Messiah-King.”
If they lied about the perfect Savior, then they’ll lie about His imperfect servants.
Finally, pastors fear forced termination. The latest statistics – gleaned from my colleague Dr. Charles Chandler – are that 28% of all pastors have experienced a forced termination, and 46% of those pastors never return to church ministry. Charles claims that 1,600 pastors leave church ministry every month … most through forced termination.
When a pastor is told, “Either resign or you’ll be fired,” how often is the dismissal process underground, and how often is it above ground?
While I don’t have any definite statistics to share with you, I think I’m safe in assuming that at least 90% of the time, the dismissal process is underground.
For the pastor, this means that you’re constantly walking on eggshells. Every sermon you preach … every conversation you have … every board meeting you attend … every denominational event you don’t attend … can provide ammunition for those who may want to get rid of you someday.
You try to live for Jesus … and be filled with His Spirit … and be kind to everyone … but if you slip up just once, you’ll see a Pharisee writing down your offense in a little black book.
And if the Pharisees ever find each other … which they inevitably do … they’ll pool your offenses and recommend your dismissal to the powers-that-be.
And in our day, most pastors who are forcibly terminated aren’t just removed from their church … they’re removed from church ministry altogether.
Most pastors will not admit their fears to their congregations. They will not admit their fears to their boards or staffs. They may not even admit their fears to their pastor friends … or their wives.
But when they’re alone … and when they’re pouring out their hearts before God … pastors do have fears … just like Paul admitted in a candid moment.
What is one thing you can do this week to alleviate your pastor from fear?
Do it.
Restoring Kingdom Builders 
Five Verses for When You Hit the Wall
Posted in Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged Bible verses of encouragement, encouragement in ministry, suffering in ministry on August 28, 2013| 6 Comments »
There have been times in my life – and ministry – when I hit a wall and did not know what to do next.
I stared at the wall. It was high. It was deep. It was solid. It was thick.
And it looked impenetrable.
There was no way to go over the wall … or under it … or around it … or even through it.
But I tried. I really tried.
I slammed the wall with my shoulder … and ended up howling in pain.
I backed up and ran hard at the wall … and the wall won.
I looked for something to carry me over the wall … but nothing surfaced.
I tried to dig my way under the wall … but the wall seemed to descend forever.
For all intents and purposes, I was trapped … and I hate feeling trapped because I prize options.
During many of those feeling trapped times, the Lord came and ministered to me through a single verse of Scripture.
Let me briefly share five of those incidents as a way of encouraging you:
*My first pastorate was very difficult. I was 27 and the average age of the congregation was 60. We met in a school cafeteria. The church was filled with quirky Christians. On a good Sunday, 50 people showed up. After the board and I unanimously agreed to a tough decision one night, they quickly reversed themselves, and I was left standing all by myself.
I was afraid that I was going to be fired.
And then our church received notice that our city would be bulldozing down the school where we met so a developer could construct condominiums … and our congregation had nowhere to go.
I stood and stared at the wall.
One day, I read 1 Peter 5 … a chapter that has always encouraged me. Peter writes in verse 10:
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
I was suffering all right … more than I ever had in nearly ten years of church ministry. And yet God promised that the suffering would be temporary and that He would make me “strong, firm and steadfast” through it all.
And He did.
*My second pastorate was even worse. A sister church five miles away invited our group to merge with their congregation. Our group said they would come on one condition: that I became the pastor.
I did not want to be a bargaining chip.
After doing some research, I learned that Merger Math usually goes like this: 1+1=1.
Truth be told, I didn’t want to pastor the merged church. I wanted out. I went to my district minister and asked him, “Please help me find somewhere else to go.”
He tried, but there wasn’t much of a market for a 29-year-old pastor who served a church of 50 people.
I stood and stared at the wall … again.
Then I read and preached on 2 Chronicles 20. Three invading armies attacked Jerusalem unprovoked. King Jehoshaphat proclaimed a time of public fasting and prayer. The people ended their prayer with these words: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.”
Then Jahaziel addressed his king and his people in verse 15:
“This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.'”
If you know the story, the people marched toward a hill overlooking the place where all their enemies convened. The people began to sing and praise God, not knowing what to expect ahead.
But the Lord was working behind the scenes … and when the people of Judah reached the lookout point … their enemies were all dead, having killed each other.
When the deadline came for me to make a decision, I signed the contract to become the new church’s new pastor, remembering that “the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
*That ministry did well at first. We even had 140 people one Sunday. But the two groups that came together were incompatible both philosophically and personally.
A church of 80 plus a church of 50 should have resulted in a church of 130+.
Instead, Merger Math prevailed, and after 18 months, we were rapidly plunging toward 80.
And as the attendance and giving went south, I blamed myself for the merger’s failure. I became depressed and withdrawn, not knowing what to do.
I had hit a wall once more.
Galatians 6:9 pulled me through:
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I wanted to give up. But God had clearly called me to that church, so I tried to re-channel my energies. Even though I couldn’t see the way ahead, I chose to believe that my ministry would “reap a harvest” … not at a time of my choosing, but “at the proper time” … a season of God’s choosing.
*Over the next few years, I gave the church my best leadership. We revised the church constitution and bylaws … remodeled the worship center … reviewed the entire ministry … revitalized our worship service … and renewed our walks with Christ.
We were happier, but we didn’t grow. I tried everything I knew, and nothing worked.
It felt like the wall was winning.
Feeling frustrated and desperate, I began to use the Lord’s prayer as a guide to prayer every morning. I paid particular attention to Matthew 6:10:
“Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
I told the Lord, “I see five options for my future.” And every day, I’d pray through the options. I told the Lord the option I preferred, but left the final call up to Him … and He chose the option I least expected!
In fact, it’s an option that most pastors and churches rarely entertain.
*Our leaders decided to sell our church property and start a new church with a new name in a new location.
We were an unlikely bunch to pull this off … and some people told us that.
Although God led us through the entire project, it was slow going at times. And when the planning commission turned down our request for an occupancy permit, a prominent Christian leader predicted that our goose was cooked.
Once again, I had hit a wall … and it was the tallest, thickest, and widest wall of them all.
Somebody didn’t want our church to exist … somebody in the spirit realm. During that time, I leaned heavily upon Paul’s words in Ephesians 6:13:
Therefore, pull on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Up to this time in my ministry, I had only experienced opposition from inside churches … but now our opposition came from outside the church in the form of that nitpicking planning commission.
But our church called a day of prayer and fasting … appealed to the city council … and won a 7-0 vote!
It took us 30 months to hire staff … sell the property … find a light industrial building … obtain an occupancy permit … and construct a worship center. And due to the slowness of construction, we had 7 different dates for our grand opening … continually revising dates because things weren’t yet finished.
But on November 8, 1992 – one of the great days of my life – 311 people showed up for our first public service.
Over the next 5 years, we led many people to Christ and baptized 100 new Christians, becoming the second largest Protestant church in our city.
In fact, years later, Dr. Gary McIntosh asked me to write a chapter about our adventure in his book Make Room for the Boom … or Bust!
By God’s grace, I didn’t give up, and at the proper time, He finally supplied a harvest.
Now I’m in a different season of life. Although I’ve learned a lot about the Lord’s ways over the years, I still hit walls now and then.
In fact, it feels like my wife and I have just hit another wall in our lives.
Rather than panic, we have to remember what the Lord has done for us in the past. As Joshua told Israel in Joshua 23:14:
“You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.”
I may fail the Lord at times, but He never fails. Throughout my life and ministry, He has come through … not when I wanted Him to, or how I wanted Him to … but when and how He saw fit.
You may be standing in front of a giant wall right now. You feel like you’re trapped.
What should you do?
I’ve found it helpful to ask God to give me a verse from His Word, and to live out that verse, trusting that He will eventually break down any barrier.
As Psalm 18:29 says:
With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.
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