A pastor I knew for more than twenty years died last week.
For years, AA was my friend.
My first exposure to him was at Biola College when he came and spoke in chapel one Thursday morning in Crowell Hall.
AA pastored a church in Fresno and shared with students that radio ads helped his church to grow … then proceeded to play one such ad on a tape recorder.
Years later, on Veteran’s Day in 1980, my church in Garden Grove called an ordination council for me. AA … who was now pastoring a church of the same denomination in central Orange County … signed my certificate after the examination, although I don’t recall his presence that day.
Fast forward six years. One afternoon, I was sitting in the office of our district minister when he told me that AA was coming to Oakland to pastor one of the oldest churches in the district. I wondered, “Why would anyone leave the beauty of Orange County for the ugliness of downtown Oakland?”
But AA went to that Oakland church, and using his entrepreneurial gifts, he sold some church land and started a new church in a beautiful area just a few miles away.
Right before Christmas in 1986, our district held their annual Christmas party at Mount Hermon Conference Center. I was asked to do a humorous reading of The Night Before Christmas in the style of an expository preacher and it went well. Afterwards, AA came up to me and suggested we have lunch together.
A few weeks later, we sat in a restaurant near his church overlooking a lagoon (a place I would later eat at dozens of times) and shared our ministry wounds together. In the process, we became fast friends.
I invited AA to my church in Silicon Valley one day. The church wasn’t doing well … we’d had a merger four years before that imploded … and I wanted his opinion on our prospects.
He surveyed our campus and quickly said, “I wouldn’t come here” which hurt a bit.
But he also read an article I wrote on “lost shepherds” and told me that it was good and that he knew the editor of the denominational magazine and would recommend that it be published, which is eventually what happened.
One day, I was speaking by phone to the president of our denomination, and he suggested that I put together a group of pastors in my area for support. Our first meeting was at a Sizzler in Hayward, and over the next few years, our group of five met nearly every month for lunch. AA was in that group.
For several years, those pastors and their wives met at AA’s home in early December for a Christmas dinner. He and his wife were very hospitable. We enjoyed other social events with those couples over the years as well.
I invited AA to speak to our leaders at my church in Silicon Valley, and he in turn had me speak at a men’s breakfast and a stewardship banquet at his church.
In the summer of 1997, I knew I was going to be leaving my church in Silicon Valley, so AA invited me to speak to his church on a Sunday morning. The time went well, and AA said he wanted to hire me as his associate pastor, but things didn’t work out at the time, and I ended up at a friend’s church in Arizona instead.
But in the fall of 1998, AA began sending me emails, wanting to know if I’d consider becoming his associate pastor. He planned on retiring and wanted to choose his successor. After combing through 85 resumes, AA and the board couldn’t find anyone suitable.
I sent him five reasons why it would be good to work together, and five reasons why it wouldn’t work.
He answered all five objections.
Kim and I flew to Oakland on a Friday. That night, we went out for dinner with AA and his wife, and we had a great time together. But one of the board members was so upset about the possibility of my coming (he never even met me) that he instantly resigned. (He wanted a Union Seminary grad instead!)
My wife and I met with the board the following morning, and things went well enough that I soon returned and spoke on a Sunday.
The board offered me the job of associate pastor, and I eventually accepted. I did not call myself to that position … God called me … because I initially didn’t want to go.
Because our daughter Sarah was in high school, I agreed to start my ministry on June 1, 1999, so she could finish her junior year in Arizona.
In January 2000, AA announced to the church that he would be retiring the following December. By this time, I had served at the church seven months, and except for one critic … a board member … I felt I got along great with everyone.
The following April … nearly a year after I came to the church … I asked the board to have the congregation vote on me as senior pastor-elect. The vote was 76-4 … 95% approval.
AA began to pull back on his ministry a bit, and I began to assert myself more. One day, as we walked past the open field on the church property, AA told me, “That’s where you will build a new sanctuary someday.”
In the fall of 2000, AA and his wife took a trip to New England, and while they were there, my primary critic resigned his position at the church and openly took shots at me. When he returned home, AA fully supported me, which made matters disappear quickly.
That same critic began spilling board secrets in public, including the fact that the board had agreed to give AA a generous financial gift upon his retirement. The church was holding its annual congregational meeting in November, and AA was worried that some oldtimers would publicly object to the gift and that he might not receive it.
I shared with AA and the board how to nullify any objections with the congregation, and the meeting passed without incident.
During the eighteen months that we worked together, AA and I got along very well. We may have disagreed about certain issues … we’re very different people with very different styles … but I don’t recall one time where we had even a single unpleasant conversation.
And during the fourteen years that we knew each other, I considered AA to be one of my closest friends. In fact, had I died before him, I wanted him to conduct my memorial service.
After he left the church and moved to Arizona, I did my best to maintain contact:
*Whenever I referred to AA in public, I spoke of him in positive terms and with gratitude.
*Whenever I spoke with his friends within the church … including four staff holdovers … I was conscious that anything I said might get back to him … and it sometimes did. In fact, AA once told me that a certain individual called him all the time to complain about me.
*Since AA had family in our community, he visited the area a few times a year. At first, he’d contact me and we’d get together, but after a while, he’d come into town and meet with people from the church without telling me, which made me suspicious.
*He and his wife visited the church a few times after he retired, and things seemed to go well … until the Sunday when I stood up to preach and noticed that AA and his wife were sitting by themselves next to a couple who were angry with me about an issue that had no resolution.
*I interviewed AA about two incidents that happened during his tenure as pastor that led to conflicts and included them in my doctoral project for Fuller Seminary.
*AA became president of a parachurch organization. Our church supported him financially as a missionary and hosted one of their meetings in the church library.
*I invited AA to speak at the dedication of our new worship center in October 2005. I also presented him and his wife with a letter of appreciation and a plaque for all they had done for the church.
But during his message, AA made a derogatory comment about me … one that most people wouldn’t have noticed … and I knew something had changed.
Then one man inside the church sent a bizarre email to one of our staff members stating that I needed a mentor and that AA should come back to the church as my associate pastor. I called the man and tried to set him straight, but it began to dawn on me: AA is telling at least some people that he regrets leaving and wants to come back to the church.
After he retired, AA and his wife lived in Arizona … then Southern California (ironically, in the same city my wife and I live in now) … then in a city in Northern California.
Somewhere along the line, I knew I was being undermined and that anything I did or said that AA’s friends didn’t like would end up being shared with him … and quite possibly, be wrongly interpreted.
I had three options:
*Engage in an investigation into AA’s conduct. But who would do it? How would anything change? What good would come from it?
*Confront AA about his behavior. But what if he denied everything and then told people I was insecure and paranoid?
*Ignore his behavior and continue building the church … which is what I did. But what if the undermining gained critical mass?
The church was doing well. The attendance and giving nearly doubled during my tenure. We built a new worship center where every vote by the congregation was unanimous. We were the largest Protestant church in our city by far and had a great reputation in the community.
Fast forward ahead four years.
In the fall of 2009, I heard that AA and his wife were living in a house owned by former church members on weekends … only 500 feet from our church campus.
Only AA never told me.
Intentional or not, he now had a base of operations near the church to hear any complaints against me … just like Absalom listened to complaints about his father David at the gates of Jerusalem.
Only people weren’t bringing any complaints to me, so I didn’t know what they were or who might be upset with me.
I didn’t know it at the time, but AA not only had his fingers in the congregation … he had his fingers in the church staff, and especially in the church board.
In October 2009, a conflict broke out with the church board, and a few weeks later, I chose to resign.
The night I told church leaders that I was going to leave, I was told by the church consultant I had hired that AA had been meeting with the six members of the church board about me. I don’t know who initiated contact, or how many times they met, or whether the board wanted AA to be their next interim/senior pastor … although a top Christian leader told me that was the plan.
That consultant exposed the plot and wrote a report stating that AA should not be allowed to return to the church in any capacity.
After years of friendship, my good friend had completely flipped on me.
_______________
I never learned what I did or didn’t do … or said or didn’t say … to cause AA to conspire to force me out of my position and eventually end my pastoral career.
Although I can venture some guesses, I’m not very good at mind reading.
I can’t recall our final conversation, but found it telling that he never contacted me after I resigned and left the church, even though I wrote a book about the conflict (Church Coup) and have written more than 500 blogs … most of them about pastor-church conflict.
Several years ago, I went to his Facebook page, and noticed that he was friends with nearly every single person who stood against me in my final days, including former board members and staffers.
In England, they call that a Shadow Government.
I have no idea when or where AA’s memorial service will be held … or if it’s already been held … and I’m certain that I won’t be asked to speak.
So I thought I’d write a blog about the man I knew.
I’ll always be grateful that he wanted me to become his associate pastor and eventually succeed him as pastor. By every measure, the church did quite well over the next nine years.
And I’ll always be grateful for his friendship … his counsel … his support … and all the good times we had.
Rest in peace, Andy. I forgive you.
See you in glory.
What Happens inside a Congregation After a Pastor is Terminated?
Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, Uncategorized, tagged aftermath of a pastoral termination, consequences after a pastoral termination, pastoral termination on July 7, 2017| 4 Comments »
This morning, I received an email from a PhD student at a Christian university. He wants to interview me as to what happens in a congregation after a pastor is involuntarily terminated.
I’ve been hoping someone would do a study like this for some time.
During my second church staff experience, my pastor was voted out of office, so I have undergone such a scenario firsthand. I have also heard from scores of churchgoers and leaders who have shared with me what happened in their church after their pastor left.
Most of these consequences are not matters that church leaders anticipated when they forced out their pastor. There isn’t much in print on this issue, so most leaders are flying blind when they get rid of a pastor.
This is what God’s people have told me:
First, a few people – usually the pastor’s supporters – leave the church immediately.
When I was in my early twenties, my pastor was removed from office by the congregation. I assumed there would be a mass exodus, but as I recall, only one family left the church, which still surprises me.
In my own case, after a horrendous congregational meeting – one that indicated that I needed to leave my church – a veteran Christian came up to me and expressed great sorrow at the way I was treated. He told me that he had seen this kind of thing before, knew where it was going, and wanted no part of it.
After that meeting, he and his wife left for good, ending up at a friend’s church instead.
The more unfairly the termination is perceived by the congregation, the more people will leave … and among those will be some who can never be replaced.
Most staff members will stay … at least initially … because the church pays them, but if a key board member or leader leaves, their example might persuade others that they’re on a sinking ship and need to dive off … quickly.
Second, church leaders will feel overwhelmed as the pastor’s duties land on them.
If a senior pastor is forced out, and the church has an associate pastor, most of the ex-pastor’s duties may fall on him by default.
If the church has a larger staff, those duties may be spread out among staffers.
But if the church doesn’t have staff, the pastor’s duties will probably revert to the board, and the chances are high that they won’t know what to do … which is why many boards hire an interim prematurely.
My guess is that most board members don’t know all that their pastor does in a given week or month, and when they force him out … especially if it’s abrupt … they have no idea how much work won’t get done … and the pastor they just pushed out won’t be available to help them.
Without their pastor, many people won’t know where to go for counseling, either … and chances are poor that they’ll seek out the very board members who pushed out their beloved shepherd.
Third, the congregation craves stability.
For many people, a pastor is the father they never had … and the pastor’s wife is the mom they wish they had.
It’s tough enough in a family when either dad or mom leaves home, but can you imagine how hard it would be if they both left at once?
But that’s what happens when a pastor is forced out of office. The church’s spiritual father and mother vanish overnight.
Some big sisters and brothers usually try and assure their church family that things will be okay, but to many in the congregation – especially new believers and newcomers – the church feels like a plane in free fall.
Sadly, some leaders and churchgoers become so desperate for normality that they will do almost anything to feel better again.
It’s at this point that many leaders make a foolish mistake.
Fourth, the church board hires an interim pastor too quickly.
When my pastor was removed many years ago, the district sent us an older man: J. Wilbur Bullard. Dr. Bullard was a spiritual man … and a sweet man … but he was also an experienced pastor … and he righted the plane immediately.
Dr. Bullard happened to work out, but all too many church boards … feeling anxious and confused … fail to take the time to hire the right interim for their church.
Instead, they hire the first interim available … sometimes, a friend or colleague of someone in district leadership.
Of course, a district minister wants someone he knows to become interim pastor. If the DM shows loyalty to the interim, he expects the interim will show loyalty in return and keep funds flowing from the church to district coffers.
But what’s most important is that a church hire the right interim … preferably an intentional interim … and not all interims recommended by districts know what they’re doing.
The average interim comes to a church and buys time while the search team looks for a new pastor.
An intentional interim comes with a structured plan and helps the congregation define who they are and what they want – and need – in a new pastor.
A church board or search team should interview multiple interim candidates and find the one who fits best in their situation.
In fact, it’s better to hire no one than the wrong person.
I trained with Interim Pastor Ministries led by Tom Harris. I highly recommend Tom’s approach to interim ministry. Tom gave me the opportunity to serve as an interim at a wonderful church in New Hampshire, and although I chose not to pursue any more opportunities after that, he runs a first-class organization.
If you’re a board member or church leader, and your pastor recently left, and you haven’t yet hired an interim, you owe it to yourself to contact Tom first. Here’s his contact information:
http://www.interimpastors.com/
Fifth, the church board says as little as it can about why the pastor left.
Not long ago, I spoke with the chairman of a church board that had fired their pastor … and for good reason.
The chairman spoke with an attorney who told him to say nothing about why the pastor left.
But I told the chairman that if the board said nothing, that might keep them out of legal trouble, but they would subsequently have problems with others in the church.
Why?
Because when a pastor is fired … especially if the whole process is abrupt … many churchgoers will be highly anxious, and need an explanation from church leaders to help them make sense of things … and to stay.
Churchgoers also want to trust their leaders, but if the only explanation they receive is, “We can’t say anything, but trust us,” I for one wouldn’t trust them at all.
Why not?
Because that’s not the reasoning of a board that rightly terminated their pastor … that’s the reasoning of a board that’s trying to cover up their part in their pastor’s departure.
I’m a firm believer that a church board needs to say as much as they can about why their pastor left … not as little as they can.
The board doesn’t need to say, “Pastor Smith committed adultery with Betty Lou, the head of women’s ministry.”
But they do need to say, “Pastor Smith was guilty of moral failure” … and if the board has a statement from Pastor Smith admitting that fact, so much the better.
There’s a fine line between harming a pastor’s reputation/future earning power and telling a church the truth … but church boards need to walk that line if they want to restore confidence in congregational leadership.
For the optimal way to remove a pastor from office, you might find this article beneficial:
https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2016/04/15/removing-a-pastor-wisely/
And for more on sharing information with a congregation, I recommend this article:
https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2015/01/12/telling-the-truth-after-a-pastoral-termination/
Sixth, many of the church’s best people still may eventually leave.
Nobody attends a church because of the church board, which meets and makes policy in private.
No, most people attend a church because of personal relationships … and because they like their pastor.
In fact, many believers who end up choosing a particular church have visited other churches for months before finally settling down.
When I left my last church, I encouraged everyone I knew to stay. A few left right away, but most gave it their best shot for as long as they could.
But over time, some contacted me and said, “I really tried to stay, but in the end, I had to go.”
For example, one friend stayed for a year but finally left when she saw someone who helped push me out sitting near her … and knew that his divisive actions and comments were never addressed by church leaders.
Over time … without solicitation … people told me, “I just left the church.” Sometimes they told me why … sometimes not.
Some friends also told me on occasion, “So and So no longer attends. They’re now going somewhere else.”
And I’d think to myself, “The church can’t thrive without these people unless many more like them are coming in the front door. They’re solid believers … regular attenders … generous givers … and faithful volunteers.”
It’s my belief that when a good pastor – who was not guilty of any major offense – is forced out by the church board, most of the “good people” at the church will eventually leave.
And sadly, without those “good people,” the losers end up in church leadership, plunging the church into a downward spiral that’s nearly impossible to stop.
Finally, terminating an innocent pastor can have tragic consequences for a church for years to come.
By innocent, I mean a pastor who was not guilty of any major offense … only manufactured offenses.
When a church terminates such a pastor, they invite these results:
*Some churches that terminated a pastor find it easier to terminate the next pastor(s). This is what happened in my father’s case. Even though he was the founding pastor of a church, the board pushed him out … and then pushed out the next two pastors.
Some churches are “repeat offender” congregations, and most healthy pastors won’t even consider serving them.
*Some churches that terminated a pastor hire a new pastor who eventually takes the church down the tubes, but the congregation experienced such trauma after removing the first pastor that they give the next pastor immunity … even if he’s unqualified or incompetent.
This means that the church fired a pastor they should have kept while keeping a pastor they should have fired.
*Some churches – although a relatively small percentage – may thrive in the days ahead, but I don’t hear about these churches. Nobody calls me up and says, “Hey, Jim, we fired our pastor a year ago, and now our church is doing better than ever!”
I’m sure this happens … just not very often. (This would make another good study.)
*Some churches dissolve several years after terminating an innocent pastor.
This is what happened in my father’s case. After pushing my dad to the sidelines, the church board terminated the next two pastors, and the church then dissolved.
Years after the congregation removed their pastor, the church I served as a staff member eventually dissolved as well.
A friend who reads this blog told me that after he was forced out, the board forced out the next pastor, and then the church disappeared.
Nothing kills a church’s morale like firing their divinely called shepherd.
_______________
When a church board believes they’re at an impasse with their pastor, they may very well want to engage in “fight or flight” … that is, either “the pastor goes or we go.”
Some board members tell their colleagues, “In my business, when I have an employee who isn’t working out, I just fire him and hire somebody new. Let’s do that here.”
But a church isn’t strictly a business … it’s more like a family.
And although a small business owner or a supervisor might be able to control the consequences after firing an employee, no church board can control what happens after they force a pastor to leave.
One of my aims with this ministry is to say to boards who have issues with their pastor, “Think Christianly. Think biblically. Think broadly. Think compassionately.”
I am not saying you can’t or shouldn’t terminate your pastor. I am saying that unless he’s guilty of a major offense (heresy, sexual immorality, or criminal behavior), don’t let your anxiety cause you to do something that will damage your church for years … or end its very life.
Seek God’s face … get professional counsel … take your time … do it right.
What are some other consequences you’ve seen after a pastor is terminated?
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