Restoring Kingdom Builders

Fifty years ago, Richard Nixon was once again running to become President of the United States.

And his campaign had planned a rally at the Anaheim Convention Center, across the street from Disneyland, one summer evening.

My friend Steve was going to be singing in a large youth choir, and he invited me to tag along … even though I didn’t know any of the songs.

When Steve and I first entered the Convention Center, we saw a woman that looked like Nixon’s wife Pat.  We followed her for maybe ten minutes before we found out it wasn’t her.

The choir was positioned directly above the stage where Nixon would be speaking.  After we sang our songs … which I had to learn quickly … Nixon spoke.

I can’t recall anything he said.

Two other remembrances from that evening:

*Steve and I ran into Burt Ward, who played Robin on the TV show “Batman,” and we both got his autograph.  I have never seen someone write so fast in my life.

*Nixon had a catchy campaign song.  The chorus went like this:

Nixon’s the one

Nixon’s the one

Nixon’s the one

For me

Ten year later, I was standing outside Anaheim (now Angel) Stadium after a game between the Milwaukee Brewers and the California Angels.

The lights were turned off behind Gate 1 where various ballplayers sometimes came out after the game.  I was waiting to get the autographs of any player I could.

I remember getting the autograph of Brewer’s player Paul Molitor on his rookie card.  He went on to become a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.

And then former President Richard Nixon emerged from Gate One.

Nixon lived in nearby San Clemente, and he often visited the ballpark as a guest of Angels’ owner Gene Autry.

As I recall, he had two secret servicemen around him.

Three of us walked up to the ex-President and politely asked him for his signature.  Nixon signed for all of us and was very compliant.

The Nixon Library, located in Yorba Linda, California, is probably fifty miles from my home.  While I’ve only been there once, I’m on their mailing list, and receive invitations constantly for book signings, lectures, and special events.

President Nixon did far more good for his country than he’ll ever receive credit for, but most people will only remember him for Watergate.

But as former President Clinton once said:

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Back in 1966, actor Ronald Reagan ran for Governor of my home state of California.  He was elected for a four-year term.

Four years later, Reagan ran for re-election, and made many campaign stops.

One stop was at Loara High School in Anaheim … the school I attended.  (Famous Loara grads include three singers: Jeff and Tim Buckley and Gwen Stefani.)  Loara had won the AAA football championship two years before and had an award-winning band, so maybe that’s why the campaign stopped there.

After school one day, Reagan’s campaign bus drove onto the athletic field where many of us played.

The governor emerged and a few of us quickly went up to him and asked him for his signature.

(Unless a public figure is doing a meet and greet somewhere, the only way to get someone’s autograph is to walk up to them assertively and ask them for it.)

Reagan whipped out his own felt pen from his suit pocket and signed several items … left-handed … including a 3×5 index card for me and another for my friend Steve.

I should have stayed for whatever event was planned that day, but I was so excited to get Reagan’s autograph that I went straight home.

Fourteen years later, Reagan was running for a second term as President, and he came to DeAnza College in Cupertino, California … near the current Apple Headquarters … and held a rally in their stadium.

I took my kids along and hoisted my son Ryan on my shoulders so he could see the President when he was speaking.

We waved at the motorcade after the event, and I never saw President Reagan again.  (Note the slogan on the Reagan poster below!)

However, my brother John lived in San Bernardino for many years, and he lived across the street from a Secret Service agent who told John that Reagan and his wife Nancy were flying into March Air Force Base in Riverside.  Even though Reagan was no longer President, the agent asked John if he wanted to meet Reagan.

When the former President and his wife got off the plane, John and his wife Joy were the only two people there to greet them.  Reagan greeted them both by name and John had video taken of the event.

The Reagan Library in Simi Valley, California, is really cool.  There’s a US government helicopter on display at the Nixon Library.

The Reagan Library has Air Force One … which you can tour!

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There was a leader in my last church who was a lobbyist for a major corporation.  He often flew to Washington DC during the week for important meetings.

Knowing my interest in politics, my friend asked me if I wanted to attend Bush’s first public speech after 9/11 in Sacramento, California.

I said yes.

When George W. Bush was re-elected President in 2004, my friend asked me if I wanted to attend Bush’s Inauguration.

I said yes.

We stayed at a 5-star hotel … it was 16 degrees outside and snowing the day before the event … but going to the inauguration was a lot of fun.

Another time, Bush 45 was going to be speaking to a group of business people at a hotel near the San Francisco Airport, and my friend invited me to go along.

As I recall, it was a $2000 a plate luncheon.

I remember seeing … and hearing … the protesters across the frontage road … going through security … being forced to wear a suit … and being given very little edible food for lunch.

Comedian Dennis Miller warmed up the crowd and introduced 45, and when he was almost done speaking, my friend leaned over and said to me, “When he’s done speaking, go up and shake his hand.”

So I did.  There was a rope around the perimeter of the podium, but Bush came up to the rope afterward.  When he shook my hand, I blanked out, and said, “Thank you.”  He did a double take and then kept shaking hands.

“Thank you?”  That was the best I could say?

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In November 2012, Mitt Romney was running for President against incumbent Barack Obama.

Romney’s last rally was in Manchester, New Hampshire … ten minutes down the hill from the apartment my wife and I were renting at the time.  (I was serving a church in New Hampshire as interim pastor.)

My wife was in California, and I had nothing else to do, so I drove downtown and walked to the Verizon Arena where Romney would eventually be speaking.

It was cold outside … 30 degrees … but the place was packed.

I met a guy in line, and we hung out together, taking photos of each other while standing about thirty feet from Romney.

Kid Rock sang a few songs … I didn’t know any of them, but they were LOUD … and some other politicians showed up and spoke.

Romney and his wife finally emerged around 11:30 pm.  As rallies went, it was well-planned and exciting.

Romney lost New Hampshire anyway.

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I’ve had brief encounters with three presidents … one before he took office, one while in office, and one after he left office.

I’ll always remember those brief encounters … and someday, tell my grandchildren about them.

However, the Gospels are full of brief encounters that various men and women, boys and girls had with Someone far greater.

And people not only remembered those encounters … those encounters changed their lives.

Thankfully, a few of those meetings were recorded for us in the pages of the New Testament.

I’d rather have an encounter with Jesus than anyone else.

As Billy Graham’s vocalist George Beverly Shea wrote and sang:

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold

I’d rather be His than have riches untold

I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands

I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand

Than to be the king of a vast domain

Or be held in sin’s dread sway

I’d rather have Jesus than anything

This world affords today

And that includes ANY President you can name.

 

 

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When I was in London with my wife last spring, one of my goals was to see the grave of Christian hymn writer Charles Wesley.

I came prepared.  I knew the area … the church … and its location before we started walking.

On a Sunday night, we finally found it in a little park behind St. Marylebone Parish Church.

A woman who lived across the street was sitting on a bench in the gardens reading.  When we asked her to take some photos of us with Wesley’s marker, she had no idea who he was.

But when I started rattling off some of the hymns he wrote, like “Christ the Lord is Risen Today” and “And Can It Be That I Should Gain” and “Hark! the Herald Angels Sing,” she at least knew the songs!

I’m not entirely sure why I get such a kick out of visiting the graves of famous people, but I do.

Maybe it’s my way of saying, “You still mean something to me.”  Maybe it’s a way of paying tribute to someone long forgotten.  Maybe it’s a way of being close to that person … just for a moment … since you’ll never be able to meet them in this life.

Or maybe it’s just a photo opportunity, knowing the subject can’t move and ruin your picture!

I wrote a blog called “Why I Visit Graveyards” nearly five years ago.  It’s here if you’re interested:

https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2013/04/03/why-i-visit-graveyards/

Today, I’d like to share the graves of ten famous people from all walks of life … and from various parts of the world:

First, Winston Churchill.

I have very few heroes, but Churchill is one of them.

And he’s a hero because he recognized the evil present in Nazi Germany and resolutely stood up to Hitler … and most members of his own government … to defeat the diabolical dictator.

I’ve been to Blenheim Palace, where he’s born … the Cabinet War Rooms in London, where he conducted the war … Chartwell, his home in Kent where he lived and painted for decades … 28 Hyde Park Gate in London, where he died … and Bladon Churchyard … just outside Blenheim Palace, where he’s buried.

Though I probably didn’t know who Churchill was at the time, I remember seeing his funeral on television 53 years ago.

I still maintain that when Time Magazine named their Person of the Century in 2000, they should have named Churchill rather than Albert Einstein.

Second, Louisa May Alcott.

Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord, Massachusetts is one of the oldest cemeteries I’ve ever visited.

It’s also one of the creepiest.

The author of Little Women is buried on Authors Ridge next to Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Henry David Thoreau.

My wife loves Little Women so we visited the Alcott home in Concord where you can see the actual writing desk that Louisa May Alcott used to write her famous works.

I’ll post the other graves another time.

Third, Walt Disney.

One day after visiting my dentist friend Ken in La Canada, I drove a few more miles to Forest Lawn Cemetery in nearby Glendale.

It’s one of the most famous cemeteries in the world.  The grounds are huge!

Michael Jackson is interred there, as are Clark Gable, L. Frank Baum (author of The Wizard of Oz), and many other famous people.

Because Forest Lawn Glendale has a reputation for chasing away people who want to see the graves of famous people, I stepped lightly wherever I went.

What’s left of Walt Disney is preserved in this little garden.  If you look closely, you can see his name, “Walt Elias Disney,” on the plaque at the top.

Actor Spencer Tracy is buried nearby.

Walt Disney always means a lot to me because I grew up two miles from Disneyland in Anaheim, California.

I never saw him when I visited Disneyland (Disney died in 1966), but my brother and I did see Walter Knott at Knott’s Berry Farm in nearby Buena Park, and we got his autograph, which I still have.

Someone posted this on Facebook recently and I thought it was hilarious:

Fourth, Maria von Trapp.

The entire von Trapp family is buried behind the family lodge in Stowe, Vermont.

It was snowing that day in November when we visited, but trust me … this is where Maria was placed after she sang her final “Do-Re-Mi.”

The captain is buried with her.

Our daughter Sarah was with us that day.  She knows every word to every song from The Sound of Music.

I love that movie, too!

Fifth, Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe is buried at Pierce Brothers Westwood Village near UCLA in Southern California.

Pierce Brothers is the most fascinating cemetery I’ve ever visited.

It’s located behind some high-rises just off Wilshire Boulevard.  It took me a long time to find the place because it isn’t where you think.

Dean Martin is here.  So is Carroll O’Connor … and Peter Falk … and Merv Griffin … and Karl Malden … and Don Knotts … and Donna Reed … and Carl Wilson of the Beach Boys … and Roy Orbison … and especially Marilyn Monroe.

My friend John is the first person I ever led to faith in Christ.  John’s dad Henry grew up in the Los Angeles area and he loved to dance.  One night, he agreed to take out a young girl named Norma Jean to dance … only after one date, it was obvious she couldn’t dance.

Of course, Norma Jean Baker later became Marilyn Monroe.

After she died in 1962 … and I remember the headlines vividly … the Movieland Wax Museum in nearby Buena Park put up a giant-sized photo of Marilyn Monroe on a billboard on the Interstate 5 Freeway near Biola.

My mother used to say, “There are probably a lot of accidents around there.”

Sixth, Ricky Nelson.

There are several Forest Lawn Memorial Parks in the greater Los Angeles area, and this one is in Hollywood Hills.

I will never forget this cemetery because it’s where my wife’s 18-year-old brother Ian was buried after being hit by a drunk driver thirty years ago.  Six hundred people came to his memorial service.

Buried above Ian … on the same hillside … is Ricky Nelson, along with his parents Ozzie and Harriet.  They starred for nearly twenty years on the television show The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.

But Ricky also became one of the earliest rock stars and is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

For many years, the Nelson family lived a short distance from Hollywood Boulevard, and people could walk right up to their door without any problem.  One day, a teenage girl did just that, giving Ricky Nelson a song she wrote called “Poor Little Fool.”

That song … along with “Travelin’ Man” and “Garden Party” … are still favorites of mine.

Seventh, Pope John Paul II.

Thirteen years ago, my wife Kim, our son Ryan, and our daughter Sarah took a trip to several European countries.

One Saturday morning, we got up at 3 am in Venice so we could take the train and be in Rome in time to visit the Vatican Museum.

Only when we got there, the museum had closed early … because the assembled bigwigs were in the process of choosing a new pope because Pope John Paul II had just died.

Two days later, they chose Pope Benedict.

There were a lot of cardinals moving around that day …

We waited 45 minutes to see the tomb of Pope John Paul II.

When we got there, Kim’s flash didn’t work properly, and she was hustled along, so she didn’t get a good photo.

Thank God for our daughter Sarah, who did.

There are a lot of dead popes hanging around St. Peter’s in Rome:

Peter the apostle is supposedly buried in the crypt of St. Peter’s.  I took his photo the first time I visited Rome in 1995 (no, he didn’t pose for me), but the crypt was closed this time around.

Eighth, Ty Cobb.

Before Babe Ruth came on the scene, Ty Cobb was considered to be the greatest baseball player in the world.

Cobb won twelve batting championships and hit .367 lifetime.  Almost nobody in our day hits .367 in any given year, much less for their entire career!

When the Hall of Fame began in 1936, Ty Cobb received more votes than any other player … even more than Babe Ruth.

My son Ryan and I took a trip to the South eleven years ago, and we made a special stop in Royston, Georgia, Cobb’s boyhood home.

There is a museum there as well as a hospital named after Cobb.

For many years, Cobb lived in Atherton, California, less than an hour from our Bay Area home.  One of my board members said he used to sell newspapers to Cobb on the street and that he was nasty.

But Cobb could also be very charming … his legacy has been undergoing a reassessment the past few years … and I’m glad we stopped in Royston.

When we left the museum, Ryan and I didn’t know where Cobb’s final resting place was located, so I started driving outside of town … and came right to it.

Ninth, Richard Nixon.

Richard Nixon resigned in August 1974 as President of the United States.  I followed the entire Watergate saga very closely and twice read All the President’s Men and The Final Days by Woodward and Bernstein.

Nixon grew up and made his mark in Whittier, California, about a half hour from my home in Anaheim.  Before the 1968 election, my grandfather … who also lived in Whittier … said, “God help this country if Nixon isn’t elected president.”

Well, Nixon was elected … the final returns from Illinois came in just before I went to school one Wednesday in November 1968 … but Nixon’s reputation was severely tarnished by trying to cover up a third-rate burglary.

Nixon’s overall legacy is preserved at his presidential library in Yorba Linda, California.  I’m on the email mailing list for events at the library, and it’s amazing how many events are free and open to the public.

President Nixon is buried in a courtyard behind the museum itself:

In May 1978, I stayed after an Angels-Brewers game at Anaheim Stadium and after the lights were turned out, Richard Nixon came out of Gate 1.  He lived in nearby San Clemente and was a frequent guest of Angels’ owner Gene Autry.

Even though there were two secret servicemen protecting the former president, three of us went up and got his autograph, which I still have.  I handed Nixon a stack of index cards intending for him to sign just one, and he started to sign the second one as well when I told him “that’s fine.”

He was so nice that night that he probably would have signed them all!

I’ve met three presidents: Nixon, Ronald Reagan (while governor of California), and George W. Bush (while president).

I’ll save those stories for another time.

Finally, Mel Blanc.

Hollywood Forever Cemetery is located on Santa Monica Boulevard in the Los Angeles area.

I understand that when the weather is warmer, they set up chairs and show old movies outside in the cemetery itself.

Some old-time stars are buried at Hollywood Forever, like Tyrone Power and Douglas Fairbanks, along with producer Cecil DeMille and even musician Johnny Ramone.

But one of the best tombstones I’ve ever seen belongs to the great Mel Blanc, who did the voices for cartoon characters Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and even Barney Rubble of the Flintstones.

Remember how the old Warner Brothers cartoons ended?

I have many more photos of the final resting places of famous people that I’ll share sometime in the future.

Southern California is a great place to live for visiting the graves of people in the entertainment field … if you can brave the traffic.

There are still cemeteries I’d like to visit in the greater Los Angeles area, including the burial places of John Wayne (Corona Del Mar), Frank Sinatra (the Palm Springs area), Wahoo Sam Crawford and Lyman Bostock (baseball players buried in Inglewood) and Curly from The Three Stooges (in Whittier).

Until next time … that’s all, folks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Today’s guest blogger is my wife Kim, who discusses how the words “Christmas” and “Arabia” could once be used in the same sentence when she lived in the Middle East more than 40 years ago.  This post has become a Christmas tradition on this blog.  Ah, the magic and romance of the desert …

It seems so long ago.  The years were 1965-1970.  It was Christmas in Saudi Arabia, where my parents were missionaries to the Bedouin people in the desert.

We lived about 100 miles from the now beautiful, modern city of Dubai.

52 years ago, we traveled by open land rover on non-existing roads surrounded by sand dunes.  It took about 10 hours to travel 100 miles.

Several years ago, I went back to visit where I lived.  I took a taxi to the hospital where we used to work and it only took 1 hour and 15 minutes.  What a difference!

When the Arabs asked me why I was visiting, I told them, “I lived here 46 years ago.”  With amazement, they said, “There was nothing here.”  I said, “You are exactly right.”

We would get together with friends on the compound.  We hiked, cooked, played games, played tricks on each other, and saw our pets (cats, dogs, gazelles, goats, a donkey, a fox, and a hedgehog).

Sometimes we slept outside up on high beds to keep snakes and scorpions away.  We would wake up in the morning hearing camels eating our dried palm leaf fence.

Life was simple.  We would run around without shoes, help in the hospital, read books, listen to good music, and sit around and just talk.  I loved the simplicity.

When it came to getting a Christmas tree, we were creative.  We chose a thorn bush and brought it home to decorate.  We had fun adorning the tree with popcorn.  We wanted more decorations so we took Kotex and tore it apart to make snow with cotton.  I wasn’t sure my mom was very happy with us.

We learned to make taffy, pulling and pulling until we had a sweet, sticky treat.

But my best memory was camping in the desert.  I remember always having a sinus infection but I was determined to go – so I bundled up and went camping.  Being in the desert at night under a clear sky, you could see every star.  You could see the campfire for miles.  You were surrounded by sand dunes and the sound of nothing.  It was peaceful and quiet.

It must have been how the shepherds, Joseph, and Mary felt when Jesus was born.

Our Christmas service was held outside at night.  The glowing of candles and far off lights made the desert romantic and magical.  I was asked to play the organ and everyone from the compound came and sang Christmas carols.  This was my gift to Jesus.

Oh, the simplicity of Christmas!

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I have a theory about pastors, one that I’ve devised by listening to stories from pastors and church leaders, as well as by reflecting upon my own ministry.

Here’s the theory: I believe that churchgoers and church leaders – especially leaders – want a pastor who is largely predictable.

Because when a pastor is unpredictable, that results in heightened anxiety, and conflict surrounding the pastor may soon surface.

There may even be calls for his dismissal.

Let me give you an example.

Pastor Michael came to Hope Community Church four years ago.  He’s known for his solid character, family, and Bible teaching.

There is nothing about Michael that is spectacular, and the church knew that when they called him.

They called a solid senior pastor, not a spectacular one.

It’s kind of an unspoken contract.

But Michael has been enduring some physical and financial stresses recently, and at a recent staff meeting, Michael swore at the associate pastor in front of the rest of the staff and threatened to fire him if he didn’t change his attitude.

Predictable Michael has now become unpredictable.

Realizing what he had done was wrong – and might quickly spread throughout the church – Michael immediately apologized to the staff, and especially to the associate pastor.

In fact, after the staff meeting, Michael and the associate left the church campus and met privately at a nearby coffee shop.

Michael’s outburst will get around the church.  It won’t reach the ears of even half the people, but some will start looking for signs that Michael isn’t always the solid guy he seems to be.

And for Michael, his unplanned verbal explosion could be the beginning of the end of his ministry at Hope Church.

Many Christians know that Paul lays out the qualifications for spiritual leaders in 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and Titus 1:5-9.

Most Bible teachers believe that Paul’s overarching qualification for spiritual leadership is that a man needs to be “above reproach” (1 Timothy 3:2) or “blameless” (Titus 1:6,7).  Paul then expands upon what he means by those terms.

But in my mind, Paul is also saying that spiritual leaders need to be predictable in their character.

There was a man in my first church (I’ll call him Nathan) who was on the church board, and I was always anxious around him because of his temper.

He could explode at any time for any reason.

At a midweek Bible study, he once disagreed with something I said, yelled at me, stood up, left the room and slammed the door behind him.

Another time, he stood up in a public meeting and reamed out a woman, the wife of a fellow leader.

Nathan was anything but predictable … and that carried over to his home life as well, because just a few months after I came to the church, Nathan’s wife announced that she was divorcing him … and I had to ask him to step down from the board.

It was his second divorce.

Who was going to approach Nathan for counseling or prayer?  He was too volatile.

And what’s sad is that for much of his life, Nathan had been a pastor.

Paul told Timothy that an overseer must be “temperate, self-controlled … not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome …”

Yet I have never believed that the qualifications Paul mentions refers to a person’s past history.

Who hasn’t been out of control on occasion?  Who hasn’t been less than gentle?  Who hasn’t loved money a little too much?

But I do believe these qualities refer to a person’s present character, which means that God wants spiritual leaders to be consistent, dependable, yes, and predictable.

Let me make five quick observations about pastors and predictability:

First, the way a pastor acts, speaks, and responds during his first few years sets the template for the rest of his ministry.

If the pastor responds to criticism with a calm spirit his first few years, people will expect that same spirit for the remainder of his tenure.

If the pastor responds to emails within an hour of receiving them, people will expect that practice will continue.

If the pastor works hard his first few years, people will expect that same work ethic.

I became a youth pastor at age nineteen.  My pastor … who later became my father-in-law … told me that if I worked hard my first year at the church, no one would ever question how hard I worked again.

He was right.

People want a pastor whose responses they can predict.  They will be more likely to listen to his sermons … follow his leadership … and ask for his counsel if they know what kind of person they’re dealing with upfront.

Second, even though churchgoers may prefer a predictable pastor, it’s wise for a pastor to be unpredictable at times.

In my last church, I carefully scripted my sermons because I had a few critics who were ready to pounce on anything I said that deviated from their norm.

After several critics eventually left the church, I felt more freedom to be myself, and on occasion, I would engage in an unplanned rant … and those little rants were often the best part of the sermon.

As Presbyterian pastor Stephen Brown used to say, “When in doubt … say it.”  It was his belief that the ideas that popped into a pastor’s head during the sermon would be the ones the congregation remembered best.

They can also get you into trouble … believe me, I know … but at least you’re being interesting.

In other words, even though people prefer a predictable pastor, the pastor shouldn’t allow himself to be put in a box or he’ll never be able to lead the church forward.

Third, only a pastor’s character need be predictable.

Those verses in 1 Timothy and Titus refer to a leader’s inner being.

They don’t say anything about a pastor’s appearance … education … leadership style … or sermons.

Sometime after my daughter Sarah was born, I started growing a beard.  It was the fashion in the early 1980s, and even though I’m usually years behind the trends, it was as simple as not shaving.

One Sunday, a woman stopped me after the service and asked me, “You’re not growing a beard, are you?”

Because my appearance was becoming unpredictable … thus making her anxious … she felt she had a right to vote on the matter.

And yet, several years later, when I shaved off that beard, Sarah cried and cried.  She only knew her dad with a beard!  (Sarah stuck a photo of me and her on Facebook for Father’s Day … and there was that beard again.)

As pastors grow spiritually … as they take continuing education … as they read more extensively … as they take risks as leaders … and as they change the structure of their sermons … they will become less predictable, and cause some people anxiety.

What’s important is to acknowledge any changes and explain them to the congregation so that calm believers can help the nervous ones to cope.

Fourth, when a pastor’s character becomes less predictable, he may be headed for termination.

When people think they know who a pastor is deep inside … and he acts in ways that throw them off balance … some may call for his removal.

One of America’s best-known pastors once bought a second house in a resort community.  He had a steady income from his writings and probably felt it was a good investment.

But when some people in the church heard about that home, they turned on him, and he began to receive an increasing amount of criticism.

Although I’m not aware that anyone called for his dismissal, the criticism was a factor in his leaving the church after a long and successful tenure.

Let’s say that a pastor has some financial difficulties in the first year of his ministry.  If he has financial difficulties in his fifth and ninth years as well, it won’t be a shock to key leaders because he’s already set a pattern.

But if his finances have been pristine for eight years, and he gets into financial trouble in his ninth year, some leaders may be shocked … and disappointed … and begin talking about getting a new pastor.

Finally, our Savior could be jarringly unpredictable.

Jesus was anything but predictable. While His character was God-honoring, His methodology, language, and style were always changing.

For example, if you read the Gospels with fresh eyes, you won’t be able to guess what Jesus says or does in any given situation.

Mark Galli wrote a book a few years ago called Jesus Mean and Wild.  I thought it was a great book and that it explodes many of the inaccurate ways we view Jesus today.

Jesus never healed people with the same methods.  One time, He would speak a word, and a sick person would be made well.  Another time, He would touch someone and they’d be whole.

Jesus’ words weren’t predictable, either.  He said the most memorable things … easy to recall … yet His pithy sayings were full of meaning.  Love your enemies?  No man can serve two masters?  Don’t cast your pearls before swine?

While Jesus’ unpredictability makes for fascinating reading, few Christians today would want Him as their pastor!

They’d rather have someone they can control.

But I believe that pastors need to have characters that are predictable but ministries that are unpredictable.

Just like Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Probably the worst ministry nightmare that a pastor can experience is to be either fired or forced to resign.

You lose so much: your position … your income … your reputation … most of your church friends … your sense of self-worth … and more than you ever feared.

Having been through this experience more than seven years ago, I’d like to share some events that helped me to heal.  Maybe my situation can help someone who wonders, “Will I ever get better?”

Each of the following events contributed in some way to my healing:

First, I chose to leave the area where the church was located.

My wife and I loved our house so much!

It took us thirty seconds to walk to the shores of the San Francisco Bay.  When I looked to the right, I saw the Oakland Coliseum where the A’s play.  When I looked to the left, I saw AT&T Park where the Giants play.

I saw the Bay Bridge … and the San Francisco skyline … nearly every day.

There was a bench on a small bluff facing the water.  Sometimes I would sit there and study for sermons while the wind blew the water crazy at high tide.  (Although it’s at low tide in the next photo.)

The entire seven years we lived in that house, I knew that in a moment, it could all be gone.  That knowledge gave me a profound sense of gratitude for every day we lived in that beautiful place.

But when I was attacked by a small but vocal group within the church, I could not envision staying, much as we loved where we lived.  My wife suffered greatly, and we were constantly on guard that we would run into our antagonists and melt down emotionally.

We had to go.

Seeing the church … and the community … in the rear view mirror was necessary for survival.  We didn’t have kids in school, and though the economy was leaking, we chose to sell our house in a short sale (neighborhood comps were dreadful at the time) rather than stay or rent it out.

Had we stayed in that community, our healing would have been stalled.

But many pastors lack the funds to move away, or they stay because their kids are entrenched in schools, and I believe this delays their ability to heal.  The sooner a forced-out pastor can leave a community, the better.

Why stay where you’re not wanted?

Second, I only stayed in contact with churchgoers who were truly my friends.

If I even suspected someone of colluding against me, I unfriended them on Facebook.  And in almost every case, my instincts were right.

I remember a man who invited me to attend some sporting events with him.  We enjoyed our times together, and before I moved away, he told me that he had contact with a leader who was instrumental in pushing me out.  This man called that leader “nasty.”

But several months later, when I attempted to converse with him online, my sports friend had turned on me.

Why stay in contact anymore?  He had chosen sides.  It would have taken several hours of meetings to bring him around, and I was nearly 800 miles away.

Unfriend.

I need more rather than fewer friends, but when someone clearly stands against you, you’re not really unfriending them.  You’re just accepting the truth … and that’s healing.

Third, I spent a lot of time reading the Psalms.

David knew how it felt to be attacked as a leader.  He also knew how to articulate and universalize his pain.

For months, I only read authors who understood that same pain.

I was depressed.  I didn’t feel like praising the Lord.  I didn’t want to evangelize the world.  I didn’t want to become a church member or use my spiritual gifts.

But I found great comfort in the ancient wisdom of Israel’s Psalter.

Because I found it difficult to pray, I sometimes let David do the praying for me.

I also sensed God’s touch when I read 2 Corinthians.  Paul defends his apostolic ministry throughout the entire book, and lets us know that sharing our raw emotions is sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do.

I needed to know that I was not alone, that I was suffering as many other saints had done in time past.

And that insight helped a great deal.

Fourth, I found a church home.

My wife and I moved to Arizona after we left our last church, and we visited a new church nearly every Sunday for six months.

We ended up at Christ’s Church of the Valley – or CCV – which became one of the largest churches in the US while we were there.

I always thought that megachurches were cold and impersonal, but I didn’t find CCV that way at all.  It’s the closest to a perfect church that I’ve ever seen.

The church was outreach-oriented.  They served their community well.  During playoff season, they broadcast NFL games outside on monitors after services so men could stay at church while watching football.  They served breakfast before services, pizza after services.  They even gave guests a free meal.

I tried to use my gifts to serve there, but I found out the hard way there’s only one teacher in most churches these days – the lead pastor.

But I looked forward to every service, and found the people at the church both joyful and grounded.

One of the hardest things about moving from Arizona back to California was leaving CCV.

Although I believe that a forced-out pastor needs to attend church, I found serving problematic.  Most churches don’t welcome ex-pastors with open arms.

But attending a good, solid church helped me heal.

Fifth, I forgave those who attacked me. 

It took a few months to do this.  If someone had told me, “You have to forgave those who hurt you right now,” I would have replied, “I am simply not ready.”

I’m always amazed at those who claim that they instantly forgave the murderer who killed their husband or child.  The words sound good, and play well in the media, but three months later, do they still feel the same way?

There were people who joined the “Crucify him!” mob that I didn’t need to forgive.  I didn’t hold them responsible for what happened to me.

But three Christian leaders in particular knew exactly what they were doing: a former pastor, a staff member, and a board member.

I forgave them all a few months after I left my last position … but then I would hear new revelations of their collusion, and have to forgive them all over again.

I don’t think forgiveness is always an event.  Sometimes it’s a process.

In all honesty, I wish those well who plotted against me, and I don’t hope they die of the plague or rot in a prison somewhere.

The Lord will take care of things.  He always does.

But I wish that someone wise and fair could have set up a process for real reconciliation.

When I forgive someone from a distance, that’s unilateral forgiveness.

When I forgive someone to their face – and we become friends again – that’s bilateral forgiveness, or reconciliation.

That’s the kind I long for, but I’ve given up hope it’s ever going to happen.

Maybe accepting that fact is just as essential for ultimate healing.

Sixth, I largely blocked out my previous ministry whenever I did any teaching.

For many years, I’ve led workshops on church conflict at the Christian Leaders Training Association Convention in Pasadena, California.

I’m excited whenever I lead workshops because I’m doing what I believe God has called me to do.

But those conventions only last for a couple of days.

Five years ago, I became the interim pastor of a wonderful church in New Hampshire, and most of my time there, I reveled in the history of the area and formed friendships that I enjoy to this day.

And during that time, the pain of my previous ministry was largely forgotten.

It’s very healing to preach or teach others.  You’re focused on the present, not the past, and you can use your former experiences to enrich your hearers.

But because those opportunities aren’t common, I now teach the best way I know how.

I write.

Seventh, I could tell I was healing when I didn’t want to tell my story anymore.

For a few years after leaving my last church, whenever I met someone, I wanted to tell them, “I used to be a pastor, but I no longer am.  Since I don’t want you to think I left ministry due to a major offense, here’s why I did leave.”

Then I’d launch into my story … even when I didn’t mean to.

Several months after our departure, my wife and I attended an Amy Grant concert nearly 250 miles from our house.  Amy is my wife’s favorite artist.

We waited after the concert to meet her … there were only three of us … and when Amy signed a photo for me, I told her that I used to be a pastor, but I wasn’t one anymore …

Why in the world did I do that?

I can’t remember the exact date, but when I started telling people “I’m a retired pastor” and that my wife and I work together in our own business … that was a day of great healing.

If anybody wants to talk about what happened at my last church, I’m always willing, and I don’t feel much … if any … pain in doing so.

But I’d rather talk about something else.

A very good sign.

Finally, I felt the greatest sense of healing when my wife and I finally made enough money to pay our own expenses.

It took me 25 years to make a decent wage in church ministry.  My family did without so many things … as my wife often reminds me.

Early in my first church, I drove a car worth $200 and had large holes in the bottom of my dress shoes.

In our last ministry, we finally made enough to save money and take some trips overseas … things my best friends do routinely.

Before I left my last ministry, I negotiated a separation package with the new church board, and those funds carried us for many months.

My wife then got a job with a charter school, but we had to withdraw funds from my retirement account to supplement our needs … funds that disappeared all too quickly.

For the past several years, the Lord has blessed us with our own business – one that we run from our house – and we just purchased a new home … more than seven years after losing the last one.

The day I went into a store and paid for food based on what we earned in the present rather than what we had accumulated in the past was a day of great liberation.

That’s why I tell pastors, “The day you can pay your bills from a new job is the day your healing really begins.”

I hope sharing my experiences have been helpful.

What else helps former pastors to heal?

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