When I was taking classes at Fuller Seminary for my doctoral degree, I went out early some mornings and ran around various parts of Pasadena.
One morning, I ran across the bridge over the Interstate 210 Freeway and jogged into the parking lot of one of Southern California’s most prestigious churches.
The door to the worship center was open, so I looked inside. It was huge!
The senior pastor of that church had taught me when I attended Biola. He later did a weekend retreat for my youth group.
But several years after I peeked inside that sanctuary, that pastor – an absolute master teacher – was forced out of his position after fourteen years of ministry.
The news made the local newspaper, which quoted an attorney from the congregation. Although the attorney held no official office, he represented “old money” … and the old money people didn’t like the pastor making changes without their approval.
As I recall, more than 4,000 people attended that church, yet a relative handful of disgruntled individuals were able to push out their pastor.
I have seen statistics that indicate that regardless of church size, it only takes seven to ten people to force a pastor to resign. Other studies say it takes a mere eight to twelve people.
How can such a small group of people determine a pastor’s future?
I don’t claim divine authority for what I’m about to write, but let me take a shot at answering this question:
First, that small group contains at least one determined bully.
In my second staff position, a mean-spirited man was the chairman of the church council … and his wife was the church secretary … so this man’s wife reported to him everything that was going on in the office.
She didn’t like what the pastor was doing … and her husband didn’t, either.
And since the pastor didn’t do what this couple wanted, they decided they wanted him to leave.
Before long, the chairman convinced the rest of the council that the pastor had to go … and the pastor was voted out of office by the congregation.
This man paid me … the only staff member besides his wife … scant attention. But when he finally did speak with me … only via telephone … he came off as a dominating and demanding figure.
In fact, he was downright scary.
The others on the council were typical churchgoers: nice, kind, mild-mannered, well-intentioned … but their personalities were no match for the chairman.
If the bully hadn’t been the chairman, he would have hounded whoever else was chairman to do what he wanted … so it was easier just to let him run the council.
The pastor … who also had a strong personality … was the only person in the church to challenge the chairman.
But ultimately, the pastor was voted out of office.
My guess is that embedded within the typical group of seven to twelve individuals is at least one person whose personality is so intimidating that few if any Christians will challenge that person to his/her face.
And yes, the bully can be a woman.
But if a church has two or three leaders who are vocally supportive of the pastor’s ministry, such a bully probably won’t challenge them and may leave the church instead.
Second, the bully takes advantage of the natural niceness of Christians.
Let’s say you’ve been invited by a church leader named Hank to a restaurant after the Sunday service.
When you arrive at the restaurant, you’re surprised to see nine other individuals from the church there with Hank.
Hank begins by saying, “Many people are concerned about the changes our pastor is making at the church right now. I’ve called this group together to see if we can stop the pastor from making these changes.”
If you don’t question or challenge Hank right then and there, you may never be able to do so.
Many years ago, I met with a group of pastors for lunch. The talk turned to the leaders of our district. The consensus among the pastors was that those leaders were making our district the laughingstock of the denomination.
One pastor said, “If you want to, I know how to get rid of the leaders.”
I instantly spoke up and said, “I don’t want anything to do with this.”
That ended the discussion.
And that’s exactly what someone … maybe you … need to say to Hank.
But if you and the others hesitate, Hank will lay out his case against the pastor, and the longer group members remain silent, the harder it will be to stop Hank.
And the more danger your pastor … and your church … will experience.
Years ago, Dr. Archibald Hart taught me that Christians need to learn to be assertive without being aggressive.
We need to learn to share how we really feel without getting angry.
But since many Christians equate being assertive with getting angry, we remain silent when we should speak up … and find ourselves subject to manipulation.
Before Hank’s group gains momentum, somebody needs to stop him.
Would you?
I once heard about a board that decided to take out their pastor. There was only one problem: the pastor’s biggest supporter was also a board member.
So the board waited until that supporter was out of town and then they voted out the pastor.
I have a folder an inch thick about that situation. It was nasty.
Third, group members feel they are carrying out a special assignment.
The bully makes people feel they’re important because only a few churchgoers have been invited to the meeting.
But what they don’t see is that the bully chose each person because he’s confident they’ll support and implement his/her agenda.
The bully wants to use the group as a base of operations. He can’t take out the pastor by himself. He needs others … even if they say or do very little.
My first few months in my last church ministry, I noticed that someone I’ll call Charlie taught a Sunday School class … and that it was constantly growing.
Charlie openly bragged about how large his class was getting … even to me. I became concerned that Charlie was going to use his class as an operational base to increase his congregational power.
After doing some investigative work, I learned that was precisely Charlie’s modus operandi in two previous churches … before he openly challenged both pastors.
And I remain convinced that Charlie was going to challenge me because he felt he could control those fifty people.
Most church bullies make each person in their group feel valuable. They will:
*listen to and agree with their complaints against the pastor.
*invite members’ spouses into the group (even if they aren’t believers).
*mix social events with their plotting.
*make group members feel, “Only we can save this church.”
*pay members more attention than the pastor does.
And most of the time, that’s really what’s happening. While the pastor may have a congregation of hundreds or thousands, the bully has a congregation of ten or fifteen or perhaps twenty people … and by showering them with attention, he can persuade them to do what they wouldn’t normally do.
I survived an attempt to remove me as pastor thirty years ago. The bully recruited people who weren’t prominent in the church.
After he pulled the group out of the church, two group members died … and their families asked me to conduct their memorial services.
I assumed that since they joined the bully’s group that they hated me, but they didn’t. They joined the dissident group because they were made to feel special.
Fourth, the group has to secure at least two top leaders to be taken seriously.
If the bully is a board member or a staff member, then he just needs to secure one other board member or staffer to gain credibility.
People can easily write off one leader who goes on the attack. It’s much harder to write off two or more leaders.
When two or more leaders begin to criticize the pastor openly, some churchgoers … especially those without much experience in congregations … may quickly choose to believe them because they assume they have inside knowledge others lack.
The bully usually looks for three kinds of allies among the leaders:
*The key player in bringing down the senior/lead pastor may be the associate pastor.
If the associate is not 100% loyal, then taking down the senior pastor may be the way for him to get more money … have more say … or become senior pastor himself.
From all the stories I’ve heard over the past eight years, I’d say the leader most likely to turn on the senior pastor is the associate.
I believe that if it can be proven that the associate was involved in trying to take out an innocent senior pastor, the associate should be banned from church ministry for many years. Trying to remove your superior is a far worse offense than almost anything an innocent pastor has done.
*The bully sometimes tries to recruit former board members who still attend the church.
These board members may have their own ax to grind against the pastor.
The most frequent complaint they have is that they used to be board members, but after the pastor came … and they termed out … they were not asked to serve again.
In my last ministry, a man had once been chairman of the church board. When I came to the church, he was no longer on the board … I don’t know why.
When I became senior pastor, I didn’t think this man should be a board member because he missed too many Sunday services. How could he make informed decisions about the church’s future when he was rarely around?
Besides, his wife had a reputation as a first-class gossip.
But later, this man became a key player in forcing me to leave … and I wasn’t surprised.
If I could do it again, I’d make the same decision. Placing him on the board would have been a political decision, not a spiritual one.
*The bully primarily looks for allies on the church board.
I believe that when at least two board members conspire together to target a pastor for removal, they often get their way.
A church board needs to be 100% behind their pastor. A board can survive one dissident, but usually not two.
Remember what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 5:7? He said:
“Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?”
If the bully is on the church board, he doesn’t need to persuade the entire group to get rid of the pastor … he only needs to convince one or two others.
And if they add a staff member like the associate pastor, who will stop them?
If they sense other board members are with them, they may call a special board meeting, or go into executive session after a regular meeting … and make sure the pastor isn’t invited.
If they sense other board members aren’t with them, they will try to persuade them outside of official meetings. And when they sense they have enough support, they’ll make their complaints in an official board meeting … and then:
Finally, the group operates in such an aggressive manner that they’re confident they won’t be challenged.
And this is really why such a group gains power out of all proportion to its size.
They use the following tactics:
First, they verbally attack the pastor personally.
The group criticizes his appearance … his car(s) … his house … his manner … his sermon illustrations … anything and everything is fair game.
Some people in a church might think these things, but proper decorum keeps them from saying them aloud. But the small group out to get the pastor vocalizes their criticisms.
Complaining is contagious. Hatred is contagious.
As people openly criticize their pastor, others feel emboldened and add their own grievances to the mix.
Most pastors won’t wilt with this tactic … but they will with this one:
Second, they verbally attack the pastor’s family.
They attack his wife: she works too much or not at all; she’s too prominent at church or too quiet; she’s nice to some women but not others … and on and on.
They attack the pastor’s children: they’re unruly; they’re arrogant; they’re not at church enough; they’re at church too much … and on and on.
The attacks don’t have to correspond to reality. And there don’t have to be many attackers.
The pastor doesn’t count how many people are making the criticisms because he’s too busy ministering to his wounded wife and children.
When a group attacks the pastor’s family, he has one foot out the door.
Third, they consult the church’s governing documents on how to remove a pastor.
If they think they have the required percentage to vote him out of office, they’ll try that.
But most of the time, they just bypass the stated process and try alternative tactics.
Fourth, they pass around a petition to address their grievances.
The petition might call for a meeting so the group can air their complaints. Or the petition might call for the pastor’s removal by the board or in a public meeting.
But everyone who signs that petition will experience a change in status toward their pastor.
In my last church, my wife served for years with a woman she dearly loved.
As the attacks upon me escalated, someone put together a petition and circulated it. The petition called for an investigation into matters concerning me.
It was a confusing time for many people. The woman my wife loved signed the petition. But when she did, her signature ended her relationship with my wife.
Neither my wife nor I ever saw the petition. Our supporters undoubtedly did. And over time, they would tell us, “Those who signed the petition are not your friends.”
When people signed the petition, they were switching allegiances from their pastor to the dissidents.
The group circulating the petition knew that. Those who signed it did not … at least initially.
Finally, they boldly exaggerate charges against the pastor and try to turn others against him … and they usually succeed.
When the pastor’s family is attacked, he has one foot out the door.
But when his integrity is called into question publicly, he’ll start packing his bags.
The only way a pastor can stay under such circumstances is if key members of the staff and board stand up strongly for him and say publicly, “The charges you’re hearing are not true. I know the pastor well and he is the man you think he is.”
But once the charges gain momentum, most churches lack any kind of process or forum for the pastor or his supporters to rebut the charges … and the pastor gets buried underneath an avalanche of lies and slander.
And then so many allegations float into the ether that they can’t be rebutted … and people who were once the pastor’s supporters call for his resignation.
And somewhere during the entire “get the pastor” process, the devil and his assistants enter the picture and not only try to destroy the pastor … but the church as well.
_______________
The small group that opposes the pastor keeps pushing … keeps trying to recruit individuals to join their cause … keeps spreading exaggerated charges … and keeps the pressure on to remove the pastor … because they have gone too far to stop.
And they have sold their souls in the process.
The only way to stop that small group is for strong Christians to say … loudly and publicly … “What you are doing is wrong. We won’t stand for this. You are not only hurting our pastor and his family … you are severely harming our church. We have worked too hard for too long to let you do this. Stop this at once!”
But the reason that small group of seven to twelve people often succeeds is that there aren’t enough strong Christians in our churches to stop them.
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Restoring Kingdom Builders 
Five Resolutions for Preventing Pastoral Terminations
Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged Church Coup by Jim Meyer, pastoral termination, steps for removing a pastor, steps for restoring a pastor on December 28, 2017| 5 Comments »
Greetings! My name is Jim.
And I care deeply about church conflicts involving pastors … usually with their boards and/or factions in the congregation.
My credentials:
*I have cared about pastoral termination since I was eleven years old and my father was forced out of a church he founded as pastor.
*I have also been a staff member when my pastor was under fire. In one church, the pastor was voted out of office by the congregation. In another church, the pastor was threatened by a faction until he lost the will to serve.
*I served as pastor of four congregations. During my third pastorate, I enjoyed mostly peace. During my second pastorate, a bully tried to force me out as pastor, but the church board stood with me. During my last pastorate, I resigned when a small group resorted to abuse to force me out.
*I earned the Doctor of Ministry degree from Fuller Seminary with a focus on church conflict, studying under Dr. Archibald Hart, Dr. David Augsburger, and Dr. Leith Anderson. My final project/dissertation was an examination of church antagonism from the New Testament combined with family systems theory.
*I have written the book Church Coup: A Cautionary Tale of Congregational Conflict which is available on Amazon.
*I have written 569 blogs, most of them on some aspect of church conflict or pastoral termination. Some pastors have told me my material is the best available on the internet.
*I have consulted with and advised scores of pastors, board members, and church members over the past seven years in regard to their own conflicts.
My credentials do not make me infallible. I am learning all the time. But I have a pretty good idea what constitutes healthy and unhealthy behavior in congregations.
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Based on my knowledge and experience, I wish every church would adopt the following five resolutions concerning their pastor:
First, we resolve to handle conflicts concerning our pastor by consulting Scripture and our church’s governing documents.
Most Christian churches have a statement of faith that says that “The Bible is our authority for faith and practice.”
Faith refers to what Christians believe. Practice refers to how Christians behave.
Both the Old and New Testaments have plenty to say about what causes conflicts and how to resolve them. The New Testament in particular contains a host of verses designed to help Christians address, discuss, and resolve the conflicts in their churches.
For just a sampling, look up Matthew 18:15-17; Romans 16:17-20; Galatians 6:1-2; Ephesians 4:25-27; Colossians 3:12-15; 1 Timothy 5:19-21; Titus 3:10-11; 3 John 9-10.
Most church constitutions and bylaws also contain sections that specify how the congregation and/or the official board are to handle conflicts, especially those that involve the pastor. These sections are usually based on the kinds of biblical passages listed above. These documents were written when people were calm and rational.
But when people become overly emotional, they often ignore what their governing documents say and resort to the law of the jungle. And ignoring your governing documents can put your church in legal jeopardy.
Second, we resolve to encourage people who are upset with our pastor to handle matters appropriately, which may involve speaking with him directly.
There are at least five things you can do if your pastor says or does something you don’t like:
*You can let the issue go.
*You can pray that he will change.
*You can discuss your concerns with family and friends from church.
*You can speak with your pastor directly.
*You can leave the church.
My wife and I attend a prominent church in our city. We enjoy the pastor’s preaching, but I don’t always agree with him. Several weeks ago, he made some statements that had me puzzled.
What should I do about my feelings?
I chose to speak with my wife on our way home from church. She agreed with my analysis.
But I then let it go.
I didn’t need to pray that he would change because it was a relatively minor issue. And I didn’t feel comfortable speaking with him directly because I’ve never met him. And his statements certainly weren’t worth leaving the church over.
But notice one option I left out: forming a faction … listing all the pastor’s faults … going to a board member or staff member to join your cause … and trying to force the pastor out of office.
It’s not sinful to disagree with your pastor behind his back or to your face. I know churches where if someone disagrees with their pastor, they’re labeled “divisive.”
That’s hogwash!
Division begins in a church when people get together and pool their grievances, especially when their discontent is focused on their pastor. And that’s when Satan becomes involved according to Ephesians 4:25-27.
I do believe that if you see or hear your pastor engaged in sinful conduct, you should address the matter with him directly. That could involve an email, a letter, a casual meeting, or a formal appointment.
If you know him, that might not be too difficult.
But by contacting him directly, you give him the chance to respond to your concerns without involving others … which Matthew 18:15 commends.
And if you don’t like his answer, you can always escalate matters according to Matthew 18:16.
Third, we resolve to deal with issues involving our pastor as soon as possible.
In healthy congregations, people deal with issues as they arise.
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26-27: “In your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
In other words, deal with issues before the sun goes down!
In my third church … the healthiest one I pastored … I said something one time in a sermon that didn’t come out right.
After the service, several people stopped me and asked, “Did you really mean to say _______________________.?”
That’s healthy. And when I realized what I had said, I laughed!
But in unhealthy congregations, people hoard issues against the pastor to be used at a future date.
When the pastor messes up … as he inevitably will … they compile a mental list of his faults. And they add to the list over time, sharing their list with others who don’t like the pastor. (It’s amazing how malcontents find each other, even in large churches.)
After they’ve identified others who feel as they do, they call a secret meeting and present their list of the pastor’s shortcomings. And then someone in the group says, “How can we let this man be our pastor with all his imperfections?”
Church boards do this as well. One board member is an Arminian who doesn’t like his pastor’s Calvinistic leanings. Another board member thinks the pastor doesn’t spend enough time with his children. And a third board member thinks the pastor doesn’t work hard enough.
Nobody ever discusses their concerns directly with the pastor, but at the right time, those board members may very well vocalize their grievances with each other … minimize the pastor’s strengths while maximizing his weaknesses … and either force him to resign or fire him outright.
And the pastor will wonder, “What in the world did I do wrong? Why didn’t anybody talk to me about their concerns earlier?”
Fourth, we resolve to let the pastor defend himself against any and all charges.
Jesus defended Himself against the charges made against Him before His crucifixion. Paul defended himself against Jewish and Roman opponents in the Book of Acts.
So we have biblical precedent for letting leaders defend themselves.
When a Christian leader is charged with a serious offense, letting that person defend themselves is the right thing to do.
Let’s say there are people in your church who suspect that your pastor is having an affair with a staff member’s wife.
And let’s say that someone produces some incriminating evidence against the pastor: a hotel receipt … a photograph … a slimy text message … or footage from a surveillance camera.
Should the board fire the pastor unilaterally?
The board could. Church boards do it all the time.
But that doesn’t make it right.
I believe the board should meet with the pastor face-to-face … present him with the evidence … and let him have the opportunity to defend himself.
It might take an extra day or two, but so what? The pastor should be given the opportunity to respond to the charges … or repent for his sinful behavior.
I know a church where the board had clear cut evidence that the pastor was sexually involved with a woman. They could have fired him outright … but they met with him first … and then the pastor resigned.
But the problem in our day is that boards will often fire a pastor based on allegations or suspicions rather than airtight evidence or reliable witnesses.
And that’s setting a terrible precedent.
I believe the board shouldn’t determine the pastor’s status until they meet with him directly. And in most cases, the pastor should be able to face his accusers.
Rather than rushing the pastor out the door … and making a host of mistakes … church boards should take enough time to work through a fair and just process.
Finally, we resolve to do everything in our power to work through any issues that we might have with the pastor, viewing termination as a last resort.
The more unhealthy the church, the more the leaders view pastoral termination as a first resort.
The more healthy the church, the more the leaders view termination as a last resort.
Ever know a married couple that wasn’t getting along? They often have friends who whisper in the ear of the husband or wife, “Just get a divorce. That’s what I did and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
But if you’re really their friend, you should ask them, “Have you tried meeting with your pastor or a Christian counselor? Have you read this or that Christian book? Have you considered going on a marriage improvement retreat? Shouldn’t you make a maximum effort to grow your marriage before you throw it away?”
Before tossing a pastor overboard, board members first need to ask themselves:
*Should we ask our pastor to meet with a qualified Christian counselor?
*Should we find a church consultant, a mediator, or a conflict manager?
*Should we ask our pastor to go on a healing or wellness retreat?
*Should we pay for him to attend a workshop or conference that addresses his weaknesses?
*Should we bring in someone who will help our pastor work together better with our board and staff?
The consequences of forcing out a pastor are devastating not only to the pastor and his family, but also to the congregation’s future. It takes churches two to five years to recover from such a loss … and some never do.
_______________
The goal of making these five resolutions is to “win” over the pastor (Matthew 18:15-17) or to “restore him gently” (Galatians 6:1).
It’s not to humiliate him … or take vengeance against him … or destroy him … but to help him admit his mistakes so he will correct them in the future.
And so he can remain your pastor.
Isn’t this the way you would want to be treated?
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