“If it wasn’t for Jesus, I don’t think I’d have anything to do with the church.”
That was the first phrase uttered by a longtime friend of mine when we met for lunch several weeks ago … and my friend is a successful pastor.
Our meeting preceded another bombshell originating out of Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago last week when the two new co-pastors … and the elders … all announced their resignations.
These resignations followed the publishing of an interview by the New York Times with Pat Baranowski, a former personal assistant to Pastor Bill Hybels at Willow. Baranowski claimed that in the late 1980s, Hybels groped her on several occasions and that they once engaged in oral sex.
My wife and I have had some very animated discussions about these events – as I’m sure my readers have had with others – and we’ve been trying to figure out how these things can happen in one of America’s most prominent and influential churches.
Even though Hybels, his chosen successors, and the governing board have all resigned due to this scandal, there are still many things that I wonder about.
For instance:
First, I wonder if Hybels will ever face his accusers.
From what I understand, ten women have now come forward and claimed that Hybels did or said something to them that either made them feel uncomfortable or violated them deeply.
Assuming these claims are true, I abhor this kind of behavior from anyone … especially from a Christian leader.
But it bothers me that Hybels has yet to face his accusers.
Pat Baranowski made her claims against Hybels in an interview with the New York Times. Hybels then vehemently denied the charges, again in the Times.
This is the way our culture handles such matters … people at odds talk at each other through the media. But isn’t the healthier and more biblical way for two parties to speak with each other face-to-face?
(As I recall, in Hybels’ first book, Christians Under Construction, his first chapter was an exposition of Matthew 18:15-17 … focusing on how believers should resolve the conflicts between themselves.)
The only way to avoid a “he said, she said” situation is for both Hybels and Baranowski to speak with each other under controlled conditions … and yet that’s probably an unrealistic proposition due to the pain and fear it would cause Hybels’ former PA.
Hybels has lost his case in the court of public opinion, among Christian leaders in general, and among much of the constituency of his former congregation … and I wonder if he’s aware of that.
But the only way to find out the truth is to get Hybels in a room alone with each one of his accusers … along with others who would monitor and guide the session.
At least three women said they tried confronting Hybels in the past about what he did, but they didn’t get anywhere.
Would they today?
Second, I wonder if Hybels will ever admit any specific wrongdoing.
When King David slept with Bathsheba, and then arranged for the murder of her husband Uriah, it took David a long time to admit his guilt. Some scholars believe it took at least one year.
Many of us might ask ourselves, “If Hybels is such a spiritual guy, shouldn’t he have admitted his sin by now?”
There are many sins that a pastor can readily admit to, and people will forgive them instantly … sins like anger, envy, and pride.
But most Christians feel very differently about sexual sin … especially when it involves their pastor … and Hybels, of all people, certainly knows this.
There was a prominent evangelical Christian leader/author in the late 1980s who engaged in a nearly year-long affair. (No, it wasn’t Bakker or Swaggert.) This leader admitted his wrongdoing and then wrote a book about his “broken world.” The evangelical community forgave him and after a few years, he was restored and served again as a pastor.
Even though Hybels is now officially “retired” from church ministry, he could have experienced the same kind of restoration had he admitted his guilt immediately.
But the longer he waits to come clean, the more people he’s going to alienate … and the more people may leave Willow.
At this point, Hybels may have concluded, “I’m dead in the water anyway. Even if I admit what I did, I’ll still be toast in the Christian community.”
And he may well be right.
But I’ll tell you something. Many Christians … including me … have about had it with megachurch pastors and their power trips.
I read a letter from a former executive pastor at Willow on Nancy Beach’s blog dated August 8, 2018. He claimed that Hybels and his crew used to refer to “breaking people’s legs” when people saw what was going on at the church. This former staffer stated that much more is going to come out about the culture at Willow under Hybels.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t take much more of this stuff.
In their resignation letter, the elders at Willow referred to “scarred women” and a “tarnished church.”
And unfortunately, when a megachurch like Willow is tarnished … it can rub off on all the churches that are associated with it.
Third, I wonder about the mentality of some Christian leaders concerning sexual sin.
What I’m going to describe below probably represents a minority position, but it still bothers me greatly.
Many years ago, I became familiar with a pastor in my denominational district who had committed adultery. The former chairman of his board was a member in one of my churches and told me what happened.
This pastor played tennis every Sunday morning and was not at church when the service started. The board chairman would pick up the pastor after he played tennis and whisk the pastor to the service so he could quickly clean up and enter the pulpit in time to preach.
The pastor ended up having an affair with a flight attendant which ended his tenure at that church. My district minister at the time told me that this man “would never pastor again” in our district.
But a friend of mine – a well-connected ex-pastor – told me that even though the sinning pastor had never clearly repented, he should be asked to pastor again because “he is an able man.”
I disagreed with my friend, but he felt that the denomination was short on talented leaders and pastors.
There are some Christian leaders who know that their pastor/leader is engaged in sexual misconduct but choose to maintain silence because they don’t want to stop “God’s blessing” … or their own income.
I also knew about another prominent pastor from my former denomination (I’ll call him Sam) who engaged in sexual sin in one church … was permitted after that to pastor the largest church in our denomination, where it happened again … and then ended up at headquarters, where it happened again.
Back in 1986, I attended our denomination’s annual meetings on the east coast. On Sunday morning, everyone was asked to break into prayer groups, and I ended up in a group with Sam (who had advised me as a member of my ordination committee) and the top leader of our denomination. Evidently they were very good friends.
Not long after that prayer time, the news came out that our top leader had also had an affair while in office. My guess is that he protected Sam because he was a “good old boy” … and that Sam in turn protected him.
Willow’s two co-pastors and elders have resigned because they protected their shepherd even though he had harmed some sheep. We should give them credit for eventually getting things right.
But I still wonder about the wider Christian community because we still tolerate sexual, financial, and criminal misconduct in a leader if we think that God is blessing that individual and their organization with results.
Fourth, I wonder how God could bless Willow while its pastor was mistreating women.
Back in the early 1990s, Willow Creek was the largest Protestant church in America. Now it’s the fifth largest.
If their pastor was mistreating women behind the scenes, how could God bless the church while there was “sin in the camp?”
Or as Hybels’ former colleague Nancy Beach recently asked: “How could he [Hybels] have done all this good when there were such dark things happening behind the scenes?”
The assumption I’m making is that the evidences of God’s blessing include increasing attendance, generous giving, spacious buildings, and global influence.
Pat Baranowski stated that her encounters with Hybels took place from 1986-1988. Hybels just resigned a few months ago. So for at least thirty years, Willow prospered, even though its pastor had engaged in sexual misconduct with one of his employees.
Why does God allow that?
I do not know.
It may be that God blesses His Word as His servants preach it … or that the gospel transforms people even if the pastor isn’t right with God … or that God rewards churches by His grace, even when they don’t deserve any blessing.
I used to think that large churches were the result of God’s abundant favor, but I don’t think that way anymore.
The single worst thing I’ve ever heard that a pastor did occurred twelve years ago. A megachurch pastor (let’s call him John) left his position and became the pastor of another church. A new pastor (let’s call him Kevin) succeeded this pastor. Kevin’s ministry went very well. By some accounts, John’s did not.
So John left his new church .. returned to his old church … pushed Kevin out of office … and received the approval of some major Christian leaders in the process.
What John did was not just wrong … it was evil … and yet many Christian leaders chose to look the other way because John was a man of influence whom God seemed to be blessing.
One believer wrote about this situation, “Bodies, bodies everywhere. [John] does what he wants, when he wants, and credits God for the action.”
That’s the problem, isn’t it? The leader of the large organization becomes so powerful that most people equate His words and actions with those of God … even if he’s operating out of the flesh.
Finally, I wonder if there are any Christian heroes around anymore.
I have very few Christian heroes left. It’s easier for me to have secular heroes like Winston Churchill. Since his life is over … frozen in time … I can admire his accomplishments from afar without being disappointed by his weaknesses … and like all “great” men, he had many.
One of my heroes was a pastor and seminary professor who finally admitted that he had a long-term affair with his secretary.
Another hero was a pastor and author known for his transparency. He had an affair … became divorced … and remarried his wife.
I loved their books. I may still have them, but I haven’t looked at them since their moral failures became known.
Bill Hybels was a man I admired. He spoke more boldly on tough topics than any pastor I’ve ever heard. He used memorable language to describe theological concepts. I once heard him say we’re all “a colossal collection of moral foul-ups.” That phrase has stuck with me over the years.
He had a passion for lost people, encapsulated in the phrase, “People matter to God.” I loved hearing him teach on the lost sheep, coin, and son from Luke 15.
I resonated with his preaching more than anyone else in the Christian world. I stopped listening to him years ago, but never forgot the times I did hear him speak.
My wife and I attended a Leadership Conference at Willow in October 1990. Hybels gave a message that night called, “The Other ‘S’ Word.” That word wasn’t “sin” … it was “substitution.”
Hybels told a story about a man who sexually abused a little girl, and then he said something like, “For a crime so vile, someone has to pay.”
Then he went through the entire Bible and showed that God had arranged for a lamb … or a goat … and finally a Savior to pay for our sins because we could not pay ourselves.
That message isn’t just for unbelievers. It’s for believers, too.
Restoring Kingdom Builders 
Five Areas Where a Pastor Needs to Show Accountability
Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged bill hybels, pastor accountability, willow creek community church on August 31, 2018| Leave a Comment »
The recent revelations about Bill Hybels from Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago have resulted in a renewed call for pastors to be more accountable for their professional and personal behavior.
There are cons and pros to this idea.
On the con side, pastors are usually independent individuals who resist being micromanaged by others. It’s part of the appeal of ministry.
And if there are attempts from inside a church to micromanage a pastor, it’s likely that pastor will update his resume and begin looking for another position … quickly.
But I believe it’s reasonable for a pastor to be accountable to the official board and the congregation as a whole, and that this accountability should last for a pastor’s entire tenure in a church.
Here are five areas a pastor needs to be accountable for:
First, the pastor needs to be accountable for his time.
The first pastor I worked for was my future father-in-law, and he told me that if a pastor works hard his first year, nobody will question his work ethic after that.
Looking back, the only counsel I would give a young pastor is this: during your first year, show up to every church meeting and event you possibly can. Be seen. Let your people know who you are.
After a while, they will start telling you, “Slow down. Go home.”
During my second pastorate, I worked a lot of hours. The board chairman just happened to live in a house on the other side of the fence from the church parking lot so he could tell when I was at church.
One night, he called me on the phone and said, “I see your car. Go home to your family.”
My guess is that story got around.
During my first ten years as a pastor, I kept meticulous records of the hours I worked … and I can’t recall anyone challenging me on my work ethic.
It does happen, however. I know a pastor who worked less than twenty hours a week, and he was fired by the congregation, largely for being lazy.
But I don’t think that’s true for most pastors.
If a board wanted to make a big deal about the amount of time I worked as a pastor, I would say, “I will let you see my hours as long as you agree to pay me overtime for every hour over forty that I work.”
Or maybe I wouldn’t … but I’d sure want to say that!
Most pastors work hard. I tried to work a fifty-hour week, and many pastors do more than that.
Just a side comment: should a pastor and church staff be paid for working on Sunday mornings?
I know some say, “We aren’t going to count our work on Sundays as hours. Our people volunteer their time, and so will we.”
But I think that’s unfair. Most pastors and staff members are paid not only to show up on Sundays, but to do their best work then. You mean a pastor should preach his sermon for free?
I always told my staff members to count Sunday mornings as hours, and I’d do it again. The workman is worthy of his/her hire.
Second, the pastor needs to be accountable for managing church funds.
I believe a pastor should keep a safe distance between himself and church money. Don’t count the offering … don’t let people give you checks or cash … and don’t throw big parties and charge it all to the elders discretionary fund.
I usually had minimal dealings with church finances:
*I was given a ministry expense account and managed those funds precisely.
*I had input on the disbursement of benevolent funds.
*I signed checks … along with the bookkeeper … and occasionally pulled out a check if I thought the expenditure was foolish.
*I obtained church credit cards for key staff members so they didn’t have to use money out of their own pocket and wait weeks for reimbursements.
If someone tried to give me their offering, I’d lead them to a slot outside the church office that led directly to a safe.
There are two areas above all that will ruin a pastor’s ministry: sex and financial mismanagement.
I also believe that a pastor needs to let his church know that he is at least a tither. It’s not a violation of Matthew 6:1-4 to let people know that you practice what you preach. Whenever I preached on giving, I brought along my checkbook, and told the congregation that if anyone wanted to know how much I gave to the church, I’d be glad to show them.
Only one person ever took me up on it … my son Ryan!
The way a pastor manages his personal finances is usually a tip-off on how he manages church finances.
So to what degree should the official board or a group in the church know about the pastor’s personal financial life … especially any indebtedness?
Third, the pastor needs to be accountable for the church’s mission and vision.
The mission is why your church exists. It’s something you work toward but can never obtain.
The vision specifies where you want your church to be within a certain period of time … say five years. The vision always emerges from the mission.
Put succinctly, the pastor should be held accountable for this simple three-word question:
What’s the plan?
In my last church, I was blessed to know a woman who did missions and visions for secular companies. She facilitated our process expertly.
I chose around ten people to be members of a Vision Task Force.
One Sunday, we ended the service early and gave everyone in the congregation a five question, open-ended survey. The surveys were then distributed to members of the task force who read them and summarized their batch in writing.
We then held a meeting … summarized all the input from the congregation in writing … and assigned several people to create mission and vision statements based on congregational input.
We eventually nailed down our statements … had them approved by the official board … presented them to the congregation … and they went on all our publications.
And everyone had input.
That was the easy part.
After that, I had my marching orders, and needed to be held accountable for how well we were fulfilling those statements.
Sadly, in the end, my wife and I stayed true to those statements, while newer leaders ignored them and tried to take the church in a different direction.
That’s why we eventually left that congregation.
When a church drifts … or declines … it’s often because the pastor has stopped promoting the mission and vision.
In that case, he either needs to get with the program … or the church needs a new pastor.
Fourth, the pastor needs to be accountable for church staff.
Don Cousins was Bill Hybels’ right-hand man for the first eighteen years of Willow Creek Church’s existence. Twenty-five years ago, he was hired to be a consultant for our new church in Silicon Valley.
One day, we were talking about church staff, and Cousins asked me, “So Jim, are you a self-starter and a responsible person who does things without being told?”
I told him, “Yes. That’s definitely who I am.”
Cousins replied, “But Jim, not everybody is that way.”
I didn’t have any trouble being accountable to the church board or the congregation for my ministry, but I sometimes had trouble holding staff members accountable for their ministries.
What’s tough is that when a pastor is doing his ministry … like preaching … he can’t see or hear what the children’s director or the youth pastor is doing on Sundays.
A pastor has to rely on three main sources for that information:
*what the staff member says about his/her own ministry
*what other staff members say
*what the parents/youth/members say about that staff member
When I took his leadership class at Fuller Seminary, Leith Anderson told our class, “It’s important to take your time to choose the right staff members because if you don’t, it takes at least a year to get rid of them and then you have to pay them to go away.”
I had mixed success with office managers … better success with children’s directors … and not as much success with youth directors.
I brought a written report to every board meeting, and in that report, I wrote down whatever I felt the board needed to know about those staffers.
While I was accountable to the board, the staff was accountable to me.
I met with staff members as individuals every week … held a weekly staff meeting that I took very seriously … and always intervened if I was concerned someone was going off course.
I tried to manage … not micromanage … but roughly half the time, staffers just didn’t work out … and I usually blamed myself for their failures.
As long as the pastor keeps the board informed on how things are going with a wayward staff member, he probably won’t be blamed if things don’t work out.
But if there was a major problem with a staffer, I not only told the board about it, I asked for their wisdom … or else I was going to be held completely accountable for a staff member’s misconduct.
Finally, the pastor needs to be accountable for getting along with people.
As an introvert, it sometimes takes me a while to warm up socially, but once I get going, I’m hard to turn off, as my wife can attest.
I’ve always done well one-on-one with people, like with hospital visits or counseling. And I do pretty well in groups, especially when I’m in charge.
And I usually did a good job with people who were a bit different, probably because I felt a lot of empathy for them.
But I didn’t have much time for those who were arrogant or who used intimidation to get their way.
And I resisted people who tried to use worldly wisdom to do ministry.
Every pastor has to deal with not only difficult people, but also people who disagree with him because they think they know more than he does about ministry … and those are usually the people whose complaints reach the official board.
It’s easy to hold a pastor accountable for how he treats most people. You can watch him on a Sunday morning or at a social event and draw lots of conclusions about his interpersonal skills.
But what about those times when the pastor is alone with an individual and that person claims that the pastor mistreated them?
How do you hold a pastor accountable for those occasions?
_______________
The cry arising out of Willow Creek is that the elders should have held Hybels better accountable for his interactions with various women.
This is a really tough topic, and I don’t pretend to have answers for every concern.
Let me make three quick observations:
First, the primary person to hold a male pastor accountable is his wife.
If a pastor is flirting with women at church … or treating some women better than others … or singling someone out for special attention … most people won’t notice.
But the pastor’s wife … if she’s around … surely will … and she needs to let her husband know how she feels about it!
A pastor sometimes meets with women – alone (like in counseling) or in groups – and his wife isn’t around to observe his interactions.
In such cases, the pastor’s wife has to rely upon her husband’s faithfulness, or the observations of others.
One time, I asked two pastor friends of mine if a woman had ever come on to them. Both said no, which was my experience as well … and my guess is that it’s the experience of the great majority of pastors today.
But sadly, there are many stories to the contrary … and too many pastors who have come on to women as well.
Second, the church board needs to respond quickly to any complaints about the way their pastor treats women.
My sense is that the elders at Willow did this when there were rumors about Hybels having an affair in 2014. Maybe their investigation wasn’t as thorough as it needed to be, and maybe Hybels resisted being completely accountable in certain areas.
But the impression I’ve received from the accounts I’ve read is that the elders moved swiftly to deal with the issues they knew about at the time.
The official board has to do this or the pastor could be crushed by the rumor mill.
But … if a governing board delves too closely into the life of their pastor – especially in a megachurch – that pastor may either threaten to resign or start looking for a new ministry.
Sometimes a board can start investigating a pastor concerning one issue and find other issues that concern them … even if the pastor is innocent. From the pastor’s perspective, why put up with it?
Too much scrutiny is also an indication that the board doesn’t trust the pastor … and if it continues, the pastor may choose to throw in the towel … which leaves the entire ministry in the hands of people who aren’t ready for that level of leadership.
Accountability? Yes. Micromanaging? No.
Finally, a pastor should never abuse the trust God puts in him.
When Potiphar’s wife enticed Joseph to sleep with her, Joseph said in Genesis 39:9, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”
Joseph was single … Potiphar’s wife was married … but Joseph felt that if he succumbed to her charms, his greatest sin would be against God … even though he also mentioned sinning against Potiphar.
Both God and Potiphar trusted Joseph with Potiphar’s household and his wife. Joseph resolved to honor that trust forever.
Every pastor should do the same … but some strike out instead.
My wife and I once visited a megachurch three times. The third time we went, we walked out in the middle of the service. Something there was seriously wrong.
It later came to light that the pastor was counseling a woman to leave her husband and to be with him. I have a copy of the lawsuit the couple filed against the pastor, and his behavior – if true – was about as depraved as a pastor can get.
It later came out that some people knew about the pastor’s behavior but didn’t do anything to stop it.
The Lord trusted that pastor with a large church … full of many women … and he abused that trust with at least one.
And if there was one, could there have been others?
“How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”
_______________
Next time, I’m going to talk about various ways that a pastor can be accountable to the official board and to the congregation.
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