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Covering Up a Pastoral Termination

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged 1 Timothy 5:19-21, church board and pastoral termination, pastoral termination, terminating a pastor unfairly on October 30, 2015| 2 Comments »

There was a murder inside our local McDonald’s three weeks ago.

A woman shot and killed a man – allegedly her boyfriend – inside the restaurant.

Whatever he did or didn’t do, he certainly didn’t deserve to be murdered in public.

This is all we know:

http://myvalleynews.com/local/victim-in-mcdonalds-shooting-identified-as-murrieta-man/

My wife was eating at a nearby restaurant with a friend and saw all the commotion as she was leaving.

I worked two years at a McDonald’s in my late teens, so I can imagine how management handled matters after the police let the witnesses leave later that evening.

It’s possible that:

*Employees were instructed not to talk about the incident with any current or future customers.

*The employees who were working that night were traumatized and offered counseling.

*Some employees heard about the incident later and quit on the spot.

*Those who were inside McDonald’s when the killing occurred won’t want to return for a long time. And customers like me might choose not to patronize that particular McDonald’s just because of the nightmarish memory attached to it. (“Wow, somebody actually died right here on this floor.”)

*After the crime scene was thoroughly investigated, all evidence of the murder was scrubbed clean so McDonald’s could open the following morning.

I have a book buried in a box in my storage area called How to Murder a Minister, and although few pastors are ever blown away (I do have a few articles where that has actually happened), many pastors lose their jobs … careers … and reputations when they’re dismissed, even if they did nothing wrong.

There are some disturbing parallels between this incident and the way that many church boards handle matters after they have unjustly forced out their pastor.

Let me reiterate that some pastors deserve to be terminated because they are guilty of a major offense like heresy, sexual immorality, or criminal behavior. But as I’ve written many times, only 7% of the pastors who are terminated are guilty of sinful conduct. 45% of the time, a pastor’s termination is due to a faction in the church.

So what I write below has to do with those situations where a church board either fires a pastor or forces him to resign for political reasons, not for moral or spiritual reasons:

*Presuming that the board does address the pastor’s departure in public, they will mention it once and resolve never to mention it again. Their attitude is, “There’s nothing to see here. Move along.”

That attitude might work for fringe attendees, but the closer to the core people are, the more they want to know “what’s really going on.” And if membership means anything at all, church members should be told a lot more than they usually are.

*There are people in every church who know the board members personally and may have been fed advance or inside information. (Certainly this applies to the spouses of many board members.)

But there are also others who had no knowledge of any problems between the pastor and board, and some may be traumatized by the announcement of the pastor’s departure. This is especially true if the pastor led them to Christ … baptized them … dedicated their children … performed their wedding … conducted a family funeral … or counseled them during a crisis.

Much of the time, the church board doesn’t factor in these people when they railroad their pastor right out of their fellowship.

After their pastor has departed, to whom will these people go when they need prayer … a reassuring word from God … or help with a difficult problem?

Certainly not to anyone on the church board … or anyone on the staff who might have been involved in pushing out their pastor.

Just when they need a pastor the most, these people suddenly find themselves shepherdless.

*When a pastor is forced out, some people immediately withdraw from the congregation because the pastor is the reason they attended that specific church.

And over the coming months … as the board maintains silence about the pastor’s departure … more and more people who loved that pastor will gradually walk away from that church.

Some Sundays, the pastor’s supporters may even watch the church board serve communion … notice that their pastor is absent … and suffer heartache all over again.

*Sunday after Sunday, it will become increasingly difficult for some parishioners to rise, clean up, get in their cars, drive to the church, walk inside, sit down, and feel good because every time they follow that pattern, they’re reminded that the church board “took out” their beloved pastor.

A friend told me about an incident some months after I left our last church. She came to worship … discovered that she was sitting by one of my most vocal detractors (who was never disciplined) … was traumatized once more … and never set foot in that church again.

In fact, there are people from our last church who didn’t attend any church for years because of the ongoing pain after their pastor was removed.

*All evidence of the “crime” has to be cleaned up and thrown away. Minutes of board meetings must be concealed and buried. Board members must pledge strict confidentiality. They will agree together how they’re going to spin things with the congregation.

Potential questioners are identified … strategies for dealing with them are created … and the board convinces itself, “In a couple of months, everyone will forget all about what happened.”

Because it’s not just the future of the congregation that’s at stake … it’s also the reputations of the board members … who must keep a tight lid on the tactics they used to force the pastor to quit.

I realize there is a limited amount of information that a church board can give a congregation when a pastor leaves a church … whether the pastor left voluntarily or under duress.

The best boards don’t want to harm the pastor’s career, and know if they did, they might be sued … even if the lawsuit goes nowhere.

The worst boards don’t care about the pastor’s career, but they do care about their reputations … and their power inside the church … so they usually share virtually nothing and hope that everything just blows away.

But I believe that for a church to heal, the leaders need to tell their congregation as much as they can, not as little as they can.

The problem, of course, is that as long as the very people who pushed out the pastor stay on the board, they don’t want to do or say anything to jeopardize their positions.

If they tell the truth, they’ll have to resign.

If they lie, they might be able to stay … so they lie.

Many boards disseminate information through the grapevine … emphasizing their virtues and the pastor’s flaws … and tell people, “We can’t divulge anything about the pastor’s resignation” in public, but they’ll turn around and slander him in private.

But the board has far better options than stonewalling or deceiving people:

*The board can announce the pastor’s departure inside or at the end of a worship service, and at least everybody will officially hear at the same time that their pastor is gone.

*The board can call a meeting of the congregation and share a bit more information … maybe even taking some questions … although most boards won’t be inclined to let people make comments. (Such people will be labeled “divisive.”)

*The board can meet with people in groups and share additional information in more intimate settings. A friend told me this is how the board handled matters after her pastor resigned, and I very much like this approach as long as the board is both loving and honest.

But if I’m a member of the church, and the board doesn’t deem it appropriate for me to know why the pastor was forced to resign, I’d do the following two things:

First, I’d contact the pastor and see if he feels free to discuss what happened. If he doesn’t want to talk about it … or if he’s signed an agreement saying he won’t discuss it … wait a month or two and try again … and keep trying until you get something concrete. (His wife didn’t sign an agreement, though, and she may be all too happy to tell you what really happened.)

Second, I’d contact one or two board members and ask for two pieces of information: a written description of the process used to terminate the pastor, and the general timeline involved.

The board certainly isn’t violating any law or ethical standard by sharing the process they used to make their decision, but they need to share something or it just may be that (a) one person on the board pressured the others to fire the pastor, and everybody caved, or (b) the board made their decision hastily.

Without knowing the specific charges, the process or the timeline might be all that is needed to determine if the pastor’s termination was just or unjust.

In the case of the woman who committed murder at McDonald’s, she’s currently in jail. There will be a trial down the road. Witnesses will be called … evidence will be presented … charges will be brought … truth will be told … and justice will be served.

But deep inside thousands of Christian churches, nobody is ever held to account for brandishing the weapon of deception … decimating the pastor’s career … destroying his reputation … and terminating his friendships.

That is, nobody is ever held to account in this life.

But Judgment Day is coming in the next life, and for those who have intentionally sought to harm their pastor … in the words of a young Bob Dylan … “I’d hate to be you on that dreadful day.”

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Reflections on the Sixth Anniversary of a Church Coup

Posted in Church Coup Excerpts, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged false accusations against a pastor, forced exits for pastors, pastoral termination on October 26, 2015| 4 Comments »

I love the fall. It’s my favorite time of year.

But I don’t like the last eight days of October.

Because on Saturday, October 24, 2009, at an 8:00 am board meeting, events were set in motion that forced me to leave a church I had loved and served for 10 1/2 years.

In case you’ve stumbled upon this blog for the first time, my name is Jim, and I was a pastor for 36 years. I’m a graduate of Biola College (now University), Talbot Seminary (now School of Theology), and Fuller Seminary, where I earned my Doctor of Ministry degree in church conflict in 2007.

For many years, I pastored the largest Protestant church in a city of 75,000 people. We built a new worship center on our small, one-acre campus and successfully reached people who weren’t going to church.

But six years ago this week, I went through a horrendous conflict that ultimately led to my resignation. I wrote a book about my experience called Church Coup. The book was published in April 2013 and is on Amazon if you’re interested.

Since that conflict, I’ve written 475 blog posts, most of them on pastoral termination. And over the past few years, I’ve written a special blog whenever October 24 comes around. Call it self-therapy.

I feel great liberty in discussing this topic openly because (a) I will never be a pastor again, and (b) I have already lost nearly all of my friends from that church.

This year, I’d like to ask and answer seven questions about my experience in hopes that my story might give greater perspective to the issue of pastoral termination in the wider Christian community.

Why do you think you were pushed out as pastor?

There are multiple answers to this question.

Financially, after two great years, our church had a rough year in 2009. The shortfall wasn’t anybody’s fault. We were behind budget all year, but we had plenty of funds in reserve to carry us through.

There was no need to panic. But some people became overly-anxious, and began to overreact to a situation that nearly every church was experiencing that year.

We also had a church board with the wrong combination of individuals. They were all good people, but three were new to the board, and everyone was younger than me, so we lacked veteran leadership. The board member who always had my back moved away, and two other seasoned laymen were on hiatus from the board.

So there wasn’t an experienced, calming influence in the group. I believe the board interpreted some things I said in the worst possible light, overreacted to the financial shortfall, and chose a course of action designed to rid them of anxiety but that ended up causing great harm to many people, including the board members themselves and half the church staff.

Three Christian leaders later told me that for years, I had been undermined by a prominent ex-leader who had left the church years before. I knew it was taking place, and could pinpoint those who were being influenced, but without proof, I chose to ignore the behavior. This ex-leader advised the church board during the conflict, but his counsel backfired.

Then the mob mentality seized the congregation. There were all kinds of charges thrown at me, and enough people believed them that I couldn’t stay.

I counsel pastors and church leaders about the conflicts in their congregations, and the situation that I experienced ranks in the Top 5 Worst Conflicts I’ve ever heard about. A former pastor and seminary professor told me, “You’ve been to hell and back.”

I’m still coming back.

What impact has the conflict had on you and your family over the years?

I’ve always done my best to be authentic … to share how I really feel … yet to do so with love and civility. Although I will continue that practice, I’m doing so with much restraint.

*I wonder why God didn’t protect my wife from being spiritually assaulted. I watched helplessly as my wife … who has done more good for the cause of Christ than most of my detractors put together … was attacked in a brutal and destructive fashion by the enemy. She was diagnosed with PTSD and told not to work for one year. I would gladly have taken bullets for her, but she took them for me instead.

*I wonder why the generous and gracious congregation that I served for years turned into a place of betrayal, false accusations, and character assassination overnight. The mercy, grace, and love of God vanished from the congregation, as did forgiveness and truth. People who attended the church after we left told me that the church was never the same after the conflict occurred.

*I wonder why we still find it hard to trust churches as institutions. Over the past six years, my wife and I have had three church homes (18 months in one church, 18 months in another church, 3 months in a church I served as an interim). We’ve also spent nearly three of those years looking for a church home. We’ve probably visited close to 75 churches during that time span (we visited another new church last Sunday) but have felt uncomfortable in most Christian churches. Will that discomfort ever go away?

*I wonder why we’ve had to suffer so much financially. When the conflict broke out, our personal finances were pristine, and we owned a house. We’ve rented six places since then, and my wife and I will have to work well past full retirement age just to survive in the future.

What impact has your book Church Coup had?

When I wrote the book, I wanted to make a contribution to the field of church conflict and pastoral termination and believe that I’ve done that.

The book has sold several more times than the average Christian book, and I’m pleased with the number of reviews I have on Amazon. However, I’d like to remove the lone one-star review because I don’t think the reviewer read the book at all.

Dr. Archibald Hart from Fuller Seminary told me he would include the book in the reading list for his classes at Fuller. A colleague from Pennsylvania quoted from my book in his Doctor of Ministry project. A pastor I’ve never met has recommended the book to church leaders. It’s a niche book, but those who need it will find it. (I spoke on the phone yesterday with a church leader who told me that he wished he had found the book sooner so he could have used it during his church’s conflict.)

I once met with a sales rep from a Christian publisher. He told me that I’d need to shorten the book to 150 pages for it to be stocked in Christian bookstores, but I’m glad I wrote the book I wanted to write … although I wonder why there are more than 20 used copies on Amazon!

Have you heard from any of the people you mention in the book?

Just a handful. I think that the conflict we endured was so painful that nobody wants to relive it.

*Some of my detractors have read the book but don’t seem to recognize themselves.

*Most people decided on the narrative they wanted to believe years ago, so the book changed few people’s minds.

*If I had published the book six months after I’d left my last church, it might have had a positive impact, but because I waited more than three years, most people had moved on emotionally.

*I had already cut ties with 80% of the people I mentioned in the book, so little that I wrote affected those friendships. I didn’t write a book and then lose friends; I lost friends and then wrote the book.

Have any of your detractors made contact with you?

No. There were nine people most responsible for trying to force me out, and not one has ever contacted me directly. One did relay a message to me indirectly through a friend.

Another detractor was a friend for 22 years. He had attended my ordination and even signed my certificate. We have never spoken since he involved himself in trying to undermine me. I’ve been told on good authority why he tried to push me out but I’ve never revealed that information publicly. Although his backroom maneuverings temporarily succeeded, scores of people were harmed by his efforts.

In some termination situations, the church board loves the pastor personally, but feel he needs to leave for the church’s benefit. In other situations, the pastor is doing a good job, but someone on the board despises the pastor personally, and that hatred spreads to others – usually including the church board – which uses “official charges” as a smokescreen for personal hatred.

Six years after the fact, I remain convinced that the attempt to push me out was personal and motivated by revenge. I did not do anything rising to the level of official termination nor did I deserve how I was treated after 10 1/2 years of faithful service. While it feels good to say that, I’ve had to endure a myriad of false charges, most surfacing after I left the church … and my guess is that most people who said cruel things had no idea their words would get back to me.

Some people from my former church read this blog when I first came out. My guess is that almost none of them read it anymore.

I don’t want to hurt people the way they hurt me. I have a story to tell, and I’m going to do so as often and as long as God uses it. But I’m not going to mention anybody’s name in public.

In my blog, I usually don’t reveal the names of people whose stories I recount because I don’t want their names to pop up in a search engine. If anybody really wants me to identify someone, and it’s appropriate, I will do so privately. For example, a friend recently wrote me and asked for the names of the experts who advised me on when to terminate the pastor of a declining church. I felt comfortable sharing that information with him because he’s trustworthy, but I’m very careful with names … unless I mention someone that I admire.

What were some of the charges against you?

In consultation with respected church members, I hired a church consultant who came to the church for a weekend. He interviewed staff, met with the transition team, and attended two public informational meetings. He later told me that those meetings were among the worst he has ever seen, so he witnessed the destruction firsthand.

He wrote a report stating that my wife and I had a future in ministry and that certain members had acted “extremely and destructively.”

Two Sundays after my wife and I left the church for good, a 9-person team publicly stated that there was no evidence of wrongdoing on our part.

But that just made some people angrier. They had to win … even if it meant destroying the reputation of their former pastor.

Let me share just one example of a charge that was floating around my last church.

Before that board meeting on October 24, my wife and I had traveled to Eastern Europe on a church-sponsored mission trip, but someone was telling people that we hadn’t paid for our share of expenses.

After the mission part was over, our team flew to London to rest and see the sights for several days. (Nearly all mission teams do something similar.)

We put all of the charges for our hotel and meals in London on the church credit card. Then when our team returned home, the charges would be converted from British pounds to American dollars (there’s usually a lag in this process) … the charges would be divided up among various team members … and we’d all reimburse the church for our personal expenses.

This was standard operating procedure whenever a mission team went overseas.

But we didn’t find out the charges for more than a month. As soon as we found out, we reimbursed the church immediately.

But one of my detractors was running around telling people that we never paid the church back for those charges … implying that we stole money from the church … and God only knows how many people believed that.

Do you see how subtle such accusations can be?

There are other charges floating around in the ether that I’ve heard about that are just as false. They have caused my wife and me great sorrow over the years.

Here’s what bothers me: the charges were circulating around the church long before I heard about them or had the chance to respond to them. People were leaking information and trying to impugn my character without ever giving me a chance to respond. There was no forum made available where I could answer the charges made against me … and this happens in most churches. It’s one of the least attractive truisms in Christian ministry.

I could never treat anyone else that way, especially a pastor. Could you?

When the charges began circulating, I needed to know who was making them and exactly what they were saying. Then I should have been given the chance to respond, and the charges should have been dismissed.

The problem was … and is … that when people are trying to destroy you, they will continually find charges to throw at you until you leave. And after you leave, they manufacture new charges designed to alleviate their own guilty consciences, to make them believe that their mistreatment of their pastor was justified.

Where do we find this kind of practice in the New Testament?

We don’t.

What have you learned about pastoral termination over the past six years?

I probably had an average amount of conflict over the years in that church as exemplified by the fact that I never seriously considered resigning. I worked hard to resolve every issue and conflict that came my way.

But then a conflict surfaced … and “ended” … in just 50 days.

Yet during those 50 days, I went through a wide range of experiences – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – so I have both a broad and deep range of firsthand understanding about pastoral termination.

Let me recommend three practices that are biblical and that a church’s leaders must institute whenever a pastor is under attack:

*Whenever a pastor is publicly charged with wrongdoing, he needs to answer his detractors publicly and quickly or people will assume he’s guilty.

I was publicly accused of some charges in two informational meetings 15 days after the conflict surfaced. I was told by our church consultant (who attended both meetings) that I could not answer any charges made against me, and I promised him that I wouldn’t. But when I didn’t respond to the charges, some people assumed they were true.

If I had to do it over again, I would have listed the accusations made against me and responded to them in writing after those meetings had concluded. If people tried to argue with me after that, I probably wouldn’t have responded further. But when I didn’t say anything at all, I was pronounced “guilty” in many people’s minds. To many people, silence = guilt.

*Church leaders need to do their best to protect the reputation of their previous pastors.

Sad to say, there is a stigma in Christian circles concerning pastors who have undergone a forced termination. Even though it’s 6 1/2 times more likely that a pastor is pushed out because of a faction in the church than his own sinful conduct, the Christian community tends to turn its back on its wounded warriors.

To this day, I’m shocked and disappointed that leaders in my former church allowed my reputation to be trashed during the year after I left. Some might have answered charges against me privately, but it needed to be done publicly and firmly. One person in particular allowed the charges to be spread. May God forgive him.

*An unjust pastoral termination hurts not just the pastor and his family, but can damage a church for years to come.

Doesn’t David admit in Psalm 32 that he suffered physically and spiritually until he acknowledged his sin to God? Doesn’t this same principle apply to churches as well?

There were attempts after I left to smooth over what happened, but no one was given the opportunity to repent for their part in assaulting their pastor. In my opinion, a church can never fully heal until its leaders reveal the truth about what really happened and allow people to confess to wrongdoing. Until that happens, the memory of that conflict is hidden in its walls … and will assuredly damage its soul.

I realize that some people are going to say, “Methinks he doth protest too much.” Maybe so. But I’ve sensed God calling me to be transparent about the events that happened to me so I can help those He brings my way.

If you or a pastor you know is presently under attack, and you could benefit from an understanding ear and some counsel, please write me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org and we can either converse via email or set up an appointment on the phone.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

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Ambushed in the House of God

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged church board correcting a pastor, church board disciplining a pastor, church board dismissing a pastor, church board firing a pastor on September 22, 2015| 1 Comment »

If you ever want to wound a pastor for years, fire him unexpectedly.

Here’s a common scenario:

The official church board feels anxious. Things at church feel unstable.

*Maybe the attendance and giving are going south.

*Maybe some key individuals are threatening to leave.

*Maybe a staff member has met with a board member and shared some behind-the-scenes information about the pastor.

*Maybe one or two board members have been gunning for the pastor for years.

*Maybe the board feels like the church needs a different pastor.

Whatever their reasoning, one day board members congregate … deliberate … and decide together that their pastor must go.

They usually choose one of two times to tell him their decision: right after a Sunday service or during a specially-called meeting … either in the “board room” at church or in the pastor’s study.

Why blindside the pastor?

*There is closure. That’s it. There’s no more discussion … no more negotiating … no more sleepless nights for board members.

*There is control. The board demonstrates proactivity. They’ve wiped away the past and set up the future with one fell swoop.

*There is containment. The pastor probably won’t appeal the decision to the congregation. The pastor’s supporters probably won’t counterattack.

The ambush approach favors the church board. They call the shots. They dismiss the pastor on their terms.

However, the only time I feel the ambush approach is justified is when the pastor has committed a major offense like sexual immorality or criminal activity … sinful behavior that has just come to the board’s attention.

Because most of the time, the ambush approach damages the pastor … his family … the congregation … and the board itself.

*It damages the pastor. I’ve spoken with pastors who told me, “I was fired after the morning service. I had absolutely no idea that my job was in jeopardy. And to this day, I still don’t know what I did wrong.” Ambushed pastors hurt for months … and sometimes years.

*It damages the pastor’s family. The pastor’s wife goes from being a somebody to a nobody over night. She loses many if not most of her church friends. She loses her ministries … feels unstable … and doesn’t know who she can trust anymore. And above all, she watches her husband suffer in great sorrow.

The pastor’s kids lose their church friends … some friends at school … and their status in the community. Sometimes they are so devastated that they don’t want to attend church again. It’s just too painful. They feel like they were fired, too. As a child, when my dad suddenly resigned as pastor, I wondered, “How are we going to have the money to survive?”

*It damages the congregation. God’s people don’t know why the pastor was dismissed … don’t know who they can talk with … don’t know how to relate to the pastor and his wife anymore … and don’t know what’s happening to their church. The anxiety from the board is passed on to the congregation as a whole.

*It damages the board. Firing the pastor dramatically might temporarily relieve collective board anxiety, but when angry people from the church start calling various board members … when members demand that the board explain their position in public … when good people quickly leave the church … when the offerings take a nosedive … when ministries collapse for lack of volunteers … when morale plunges for months … when the board has to make many of the decisions the pastor would normally make … the board will discover that firing a pastor creates as many or more problems than it solves.

Is there a better way to deal with a pastor than the ambush approach?

I believe there is.

Years ago, a friend who was a Christian attorney introduced me to this phrase: “corrective progressive action.”

He told me that when a board isn’t pleased with their pastor, they should engage in CPA.

Someone on the board … maybe the chairman … says this to the pastor:

“Pastor, we love you, and we believe that God called you to our church. We’ve seen your ministry bear fruit in a number of areas, and for that, we are very grateful. But we have a concern about a specific area (a) in your life, or (b) in your ministry.”

Board members should then share with the pastor in a kind but truthful way what their concerns are.

The pastor should be allowed at this point to ask questions … to ask for evidence … and to explain his side.

But if the board isn’t satisfied with his response, they have the right to say to him:

“We’d like to see improvement in this area over the next six months. [It’s very difficult for anyone … much less pastors … to make changes in their lives in a 2-3 month time frame. Six months is much more realistic.] We’d like you to stop doing this … start doing this … do this differently … or produce this result. We will monitor your progress this way … and reevaluate matters in six months.”

Now if I’m a pastor, and I want to stay at that church, I’m going to do all in my power to make the necessary corrections.

But if I don’t want to stay there … especially if I feel that the board is being unfair … the board has now given me a six-month head start to find a new ministry.

Yes, the board might still feel uneasy about the pastor. Some might even feel that the pastor can’t change and that letting him stay is just delaying the inevitable.

But if the pastor finds another ministry … or resigns voluntarily … the board won’t be blamed for his departure, and they can plan for the church’s future much more successfully.

In addition, the board will have demonstrated the Christian virtues of patience, kindness, peace, and love.

I’m with the family systems experts on this one. I believe that many board members fire their pastor without warning because they are anxious … and when they do so, they are saying far more about themselves than they are about their pastor.

It’s better for the board to spell out their concerns clearly, but take matters a bit slower … believing that even a pastor can change when prompted by love and God’s Holy Spirit.

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Who is at Fault When a Pastor is Forced to Leave?

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged blaming the pastor, blaming the pastor after termination, blaming the pastor for conflict, pastoral termination on September 11, 2015| Leave a Comment »

I recently purchased a plastic container of cleaner at my local Lowe’s. By the time I arrived home, the cleaner had leaked all over the trunk of my car.

So I went back to Lowe’s and asked the woman at customer service, “Who is responsible for the fluid from this cleaner leaking out before I arrived home? Lowe’s? Me? The manufacturer?”

She concluded that the mess was the responsibility of the manufacturer, so I departed with a new container. But that transaction made me wonder:

When a pastor is forced to leave a church, whose fault is the mess?

Here’s my take on this question:

First, when things are going well at a church, everybody should share the credit.

When a church is growing … when new ministries are being started … when giving is exceeding the annual budget … when people are coming to Christ … almost nobody inside that church will say, “The pastor is 100% responsible for all the good things that are happening.”

Humanly speaking, the board gets some credit. The staff should receive some kudos. Key lay leaders … worship personnel … small group leaders … everyone makes a contribution when a church is humming along.

The pastor may be casting the vision … setting the pace … motivating the leadership … and preaching his heart out … but he’s not completely responsible for the church’s success.

Because ultimately, God should receive the glory.

I remember reading a story years ago about the legendary baseball pitcher Satchel Paige. Sometimes he would tell his fielders to sit down because he was going to strike out the side.

On those occasions when he was successful, should Paige have received full credit?

He still needed a catcher. He still needed hitters to knock in runs. He still needed a manager … and stadium personnel … and fans in the stands … just to be able to stand on the mound.

In the same way, when a church is enjoying success, the pastor may be in the center, but he can’t be successful without the office manager … sound team … worship vocalists and musicians … greeters and ushers … nursery and children’s volunteers … and offering counters, to name just a few.

Credit for success should be shared.

Second, when things are going south, it’s usually due to multiple issues.

Let me use the conflict that surfaced during my last pastorate in the fall of 2009 as Exhibit A.

The previous two years, our church had received more financial donations than at any time in our history … and we began that year with a healthy reserve fund.

But the recession was well under way, and it affected our church’s giving … just like it did with every church.

Some Sundays, the offerings were very generous … but other Sundays, they were alarmingly low.

Whose fault was that?

On a personal level, my wife and I continued to give beyond a tithe. Many others gave what they always did.

But some reduced the amounts they gave, while others stopped giving altogether.

Because I believe a church’s donors have the right to know how their funds are being used, I continued to publish the giving statistics in the bulletin … and would do so again.

In fact, I did my best to let the congregation know exactly where we were at financially throughout that year. And before I left on an overseas mission trip, I scripted some remarks for the board chairman to make at an all-church meeting … a meeting that was later cancelled.

But our failure to meet the budget created great anxiety for some leaders who had never been through a church financial drought before … and in my view, their anxiety caused some leaders to overreact to a down cycle that almost all churches were undergoing.

In fact, my friend Charles Chandler from the Ministering to Ministers Foundation in Richmond, Virginia told me that many churches were experiencing conflicts due to the recession in 2009.

So there were many issues at our church that year:

*the recession negatively impacted giving

*some key church leaders became highly anxious and reactive

*those same leaders lacked the experience to pull the church through its hard time

*some people reduced their giving or stopped giving at all

*money assumed far more importance than it ever should have received

When opposition to my ministry finally surfaced, the causes were multiple … regardless of what was being said.

Third, when the ship hits strong waves, some seek to throw the captain overboard.

I enjoyed ten wonderful years in that church. God blessed us in so many ways. We were the largest Protestant church in our city … had an overall positive image … and engaged in many forms of outreach to the community.

But by the time 2009 was half over, some key leaders had determined that they should serve as a collective captain … and that I should be tossed into the deep.

I was not guilty of any major sin. No illegalities … no immoralities … no criminalities … no heresies.

But it didn’t matter. We were having a tough year, and some people concluded that I needed to pay for it.

And I did.

But so did many others … and as I’ve recounted in my book Church Coup, by the time the dust settled, the top ten leaders in the church all vanished.

Rather than throw me overboard, things would have gone much better if some leaders had said to me, “Jim, you’ve had far more experience than we’ve had to get through these crises. What do you suggest we do to weather the storm?”

But rather than listening to their God-appointed leader, the crew staged a mutiny.

This scenario happens in a plethora of churches today, and I hear many of the stories.

When conditions become abnormal in a church, people look at their pastor and say one of two things: either “Our pastor caused this mess” or “Our pastor needs to clean up this mess.”

And if things don’t revert to normal pretty quickly, some start warming up their pitching arms.

Finally, blaming the pastor entirely for a conflict keeps the church frozen in immaturity.

In my book Church Coup, I wrote two chapters of analysis as to what went wrong in our situation.

One chapter was called, “Mistakes I Made.” The next one was called, “Mistakes They Made,” referring to the church board.

At the beginning of “Mistakes They Made,” I inserted the following quotation from veteran church conflict expert Speed Leas, who cited a research project that tried to determine who was at fault when a pastor is forced to leave a congregation:

“While we could find some situations that were primarily the congregation’s ‘fault’ … and we could find some that were primarily the pastor’s ‘fault’ … these occurrences were rare. Most of the time we found a mixture of congregational and pastoral causes that defied unraveling as to who ‘started it.’ Asking the question ‘Whose fault is it?’ in the church seemed to tangle people up … more than it helped … in our research into 127 ‘involuntary terminations’ or firings, we found the need to find fault to be one of the most characteristic and least helpful dimensions of the conflict … it is almost never the case that one party is exclusively in the wrong.”

In my case, an outside church consultant exonerated me, as did a nine-person investigative team from within the church.

But a year later, many people from that church came to believe that I was completely responsible for the entire conflict … a viewpoint that has wounded me over time because it simply isn’t true … and because people must believe a host of lies to come to that conclusion.

Because when a pastor isn’t around to defend himself … and when people don’t hear his version of events … those responsible for the pastor’s departure get to write their own narrative.

I submit that sometimes a pastor does need to leave a church … that his ministry there is over, and that the church needs a fresh start with someone else.

But just as a pastor isn’t totally responsible when a church does well, so too a pastor isn’t completely liable when a church struggles.

In fact, I believe that our tendency to blame others 100% for a conflict is a defense mechanism designed to prevent us from examining our own lives to see what role we may have played in a conflict.

It’s easy to say, “That pastor was bad! I’m glad he’s gone! He was ruining our church!”

It’s much harder to say, “Oh, God, I didn’t behave very well during this conflict, did I? I never heard the pastor’s side of the conflict … never prayed for him and his family … engaged in some mean-spirited gossip … made some wild guesses as to why he left … and failed to see that I bear some responsibility for joining the mob and hurting one of your called servants.”

Do pastors make mistakes that sometimes lead to their leaving a church?

Yes.

Do board members and staff members also make mistakes that can lead to a pastor’s resignation?

Yes.

Do congregational attendees sometimes overreact and make their own personal contributions to a pastor’s leaving?

Yes.

Then let’s stop blaming the pastor for everything that goes wrong in a church … and everything that goes badly during a conflict … and remember that all of us play a part whenever a pastor is forced to leave a church.

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Six Reasons Why God Allows Pastors to be Terminated

Posted in Burnout and Depression in Ministry, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Healing After Leaving a Church, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged reasons why pastors are terminated, why God lets pastors be fired, why God permits pastoral termination on September 1, 2015| Leave a Comment »

I have a friend who is fond of saying, “Getting fired is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

In the long run, his sentiment may very well be true … but it sure doesn’t feel that way at the time.

When I was pushed out of my position as senior pastor of an impactful church, I could not see what God was doing.

Six years later, I have a much better … and broader … perspective.

If you are struggling with why God allowed you to undergo the horror of a forced termination … or if you know someone who has endured this experience … maybe the following words can provide some insight and comfort.

Why does God allow pastors to be terminated?

First, the pastor has done something that disqualifies him from church ministry.

Many years ago, I heard about the moral downfall of a nationally known preacher.

This man had been called to lead a megachurch where some family and friends of mine had once attended.

When the news broke, I channel surfed until I found a well-known entertainment program. One of the show’s reporters interviewed that pastor outside his home. The pastor told the reporter, “Because of what I did, I have no business being a pastor.”

The host of the program commented, “The minister’s attitude is refreshing.”

I have a friend who served on that church’s staff at the time, and he told me that surveillance cameras confirmed that inappropriate behavior on the pastor’s part had taken place.

Being human, pastors occasionally engage in moral failure. When they’re caught, they usually repent and resign.

But sometimes pastors are successful at dodging congregational surveillance … but they can never escape the watchful eye of Almighty God.

A pastor can be guilty of sexual immorality … plagiarism … alcoholism … criminal behavior … drug addiction … lying and manipulation … or any number of other offenses against God and His people.

And if a pastor’s spiritual and moral integrity are compromised by his actions … especially if he’s unrepentant … then the best thing for everyone involved is for the pastor to leave … and hopefully, repent and receive God’s forgiveness for his actions.

While pastors do disqualify themselves by engaging in misconduct, this is only true of 7% of all terminated pastors.

Just as Peter denied Jesus three times but was restored to ministry, I believe that God can restore and use a once-disqualified pastor again.

Second, the pastor was leading a spiritually hollow congregation.

No matter how devoted a pastor is to Jesus … or how hard he works … or how much influence he has … some churches are never going to grow or have much impact in their community.

In fact, some churches are filled with professing Christians who have rarely if ever grown spiritually.

Unfortunately, I’ve met my share of these people.

For example, the first church I pastored … in Silicon Valley … never should have gotten off the ground.

The congregation began with 38 members … all refugees from other churches. They had one thing in common: they wanted to attend a church where they could control the decision making.

The church was financially subsidized by a denomination. The basic rule-of-thumb is that a church needs to become self-supporting after three years. If not, those outside funds are usually cut off.

When I arrived, the church had been in existence for five years … all five subsidized by the denomination.

Looking back, there was little spiritual vitality in that church. The leaders were full of bitterness and legalism.

Two years after my arrival, a sister church invited us to merge with them, and my first church passed out of existence.

That church never should have been started … never should have been subsidized … and was never going to last very long. In fact, they probably hurt more people than they helped.

I wasn’t terminated from that church … I ended up pastoring the merged church instead … but I can only imagine what it’s like to pastor a spiritually empty church for years.

It’s probably better that the pastor goes first than that he goes down with the ship.

Third, the pastor was delivered before things became much worse.

When I counsel pastors who are under attack … or who have undergone a forced exit … I often quote 2 Peter 2:9 to them.

Speaking of Lot, Peter says, “… the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials …” Another version states, “… the Lord knows how to deliver the righteous …”

Sometimes when a pastor initially comes to a church, the wind is at his back.

But by the time he leaves, the wind is blowing directly into his face.

When I first came to my last church, I felt the wind at my back. It seems like every idea I had … every sermon I preached … every ministry I started … had an impact.

But by the time I left, almost none of my ideas had been adopted for months … many of my sermons were falling flat … and the one ministry I wanted to start was soundly rejected.

The wind was blowing in my face … hard … and I could feel it.

Was I the problem? Possibly. But to be honest, I didn’t know how to work with some of the church’s newer leaders. I was oriented toward outreach, while they were oriented toward survival and maintenance.

Looking back, it was inevitable that we would clash.

Had I stayed even another year, I believe my soul might have been severely damaged. God in His mercy knew exactly when to remove me.

Did I like the way God chose to do it? No. But I wholeheartedly agree with His timing.

Months after I left, someone told me that if I visited the church again, I would no longer recognize it. A friend visited and told me, “The spirit has gone from this place.”

I’m glad I wasn’t there to see it.

Fourth, the pastor has been given a more suitable assignment by God.

I don’t like to demean my former calling, but pastors are a dime a dozen. There are thousands of pastors all over America … and thousands more who wish they could be pastors.

A pastor may be special to his congregation … and maybe his community … but in the Christian world, pastors aren’t treated with much respect or dignity simply because there are so many of them.

I believe there are times when God surveys all those pastors and says, “I have some assignments that I need to have fulfilled in the days ahead, so I choose you … you … and you to carry them out. But first, I need to remove you from your present position.”

If God didn’t remove us … and use some pretty forceful means at His disposal … we’d hold onto our pastorates for dear life.

I have met scores of former pastors doing significant kingdom work.

One man was forced out of three churches … and now he does conflict mediation for churches.

Another man was forced out of two churches … and he now trains Christian leaders for short-term assignments all over the world.

Pastors who were once forced out of their churches now lead missionary agencies … serve as hospital chaplains … plant churches … engage in hospice ministry … serve as church planters … do interim pastorates … and even have writing ministries.

And yes, I know pastors who were once pushed out of their churches who have healed enough to become pastors once again.

For my colleagues who have been forced out of a church … maybe God wants you to look forward toward a new assignment rather than ruminating about the injustices of your previous assignment.

But expect for that process to take you some time.

Fifth, the pastor was pushed out because he was burned out.

Back in the mid-1980s, I did a lot of reading about the symptoms and effects of being stressed out and burned out in church ministry.

I especially devoured the book by Dr. Archibald Hart titled Coping with Depression in the Ministry and Other Helping Professions.

Over the years, I thought I was suffering from burnout on several occasions. I visited a Christian counselor friend who assured me that I was not experiencing burnout.

But six years ago this summer, I visited a counselor who told me that I was experiencing a severe case of burnout, and that I was primed for a breakdown.

When I asked my wife, “How did burnout creep up on me?”, she said, “Jim, look what you’ve done the past few years here at the church. You oversaw the construction of a building and you completed your Doctor of Ministry program.”

Just last week, I remembered two statistics that I had long forgotten.

First, I remember hearing that 70% of all pastors leave their churches within one year of completing a building program.

Our entire building program lasted at least four years, and I stayed four years after that.

By contrast, I know a pastor who told me that he left two churches that were in the middle of building programs.

Second, a professor from my seminary told me that 50% of all Doctor of Ministry graduates end up leaving the pastorate so they can pursue other ministry avenues.

I lasted two years after receiving my degree.

I think most pastors do what I did: they minimize all the energy they’re expending when they’re carrying out a task, but it eventually catches up with them.

My last few months as a pastor, I wasn’t myself. I became detached … irritable … empty … and sad. In fact, I was near tears almost every day.

I wish someone who knew me had intervened and said, “Hey, Jim, you don’t seem like yourself right now. Is everything okay? We love you and want you to be your best.”

For whatever reason, no one did that … until the counselor gave me his diagnosis.

I believe that burned out pastors probably need to leave their ministries so they can recover. Their churches need more energy from them than they can muster.

But pastors become burned out because they work too hard and care too much, and it seems criminal to me to kick out a pastor in a mean-spirited way because he did his job too well.

So sometimes Jesus says to His weary servants, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

And He kindly calls His burned out pastors away from church ministry.

Finally, the pastor’s ministry in that church is over.

Several years ago, I visited a large church and was invited to sit next to the chairman of the board during the service.

Over the previous few years, the church had lost half its attendees.

The music was horrible (the full-time worship director led three songs by himself, without a band), the service was disorganized, and everything seemed irrelevant.

When I told the chairman that the pastor seemed to be preaching well, he said, “His last few sermons have been better because he’s retiring in several weeks.”

That pastor led that church for more than 30 years … but his ministry had ended long before he retired.

I wish that every pastor was given the ability to choose when his ministry in a particular church was finished.

The problem is … the pastor is often the last one to know.

And so God in His sovereignty sometimes says to a pastor, “You’re not going to leave here, are you? You’re so very committed … and I appreciate that more than you could know. But I can see the way ahead, and you’re not the pastor this church needs anymore. You’ve done all that I asked you to do … so I’m going to remove you from office … and it’s going to sting.”

And it does sting … for a long time.

I served the Lord in church ministry for 36 years. I hoped that I would get to retire on my own terms around age 65, but the truth is that God declared my ministry over nearly ten years before I would have stopped.

But I’m glad He did … because right now, I am far happier and fulfilled than I was as a pastor … and I’m still involved in significant ministry.

Jesus trained at least 18 years for a ministry that lasted only three. In the end, even the Son of God didn’t get to choose when His ministry was over … the Father did … and the Son cried out from the cross, “It is finished.”

I wonder why God doesn’t intervene and stop innocent pastors from being terminated.

In fact, I’ve devoted my life to doing all I can to help pastors and boards part ways (when necessary) in a truthful, loving, and constructive way.

But regardless of how a pastor is let go … even when it’s done cruelly … every pastor can repeat what Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:20:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good …”

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Preaching and Pastoral Termination

Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged how preaching creates conflict, preaching and pastoral exits, preaching and pastoral resignations on August 10, 2015| Leave a Comment »

“If you can preach, people will forgive you for all kinds of mistakes, but if you can’t preach, they will nail you on everything they can.”

That’s a paraphrase of what a megachurch pastor once said during chapel when I was in seminary … and there’s a lot of truth in that observation.

For a long time, I have believed that the primary way for a pastor to create conflict in his church is to promote change without first receiving the approval of the board, staff, and key leaders.

Change creates anxiety … causes people to complain … the complainers organize … they oppose the change maker … and if he doesn’t comply with their wishes … they strategize his demise.

But I have a theory … and I haven’t read this anywhere … that preaching may ultimately be the primary source of conflict in a local church.

Let me make my case:

First, the pastor is the only authority figure in modern life who tells people collectively how to live.

When I saw my doctor recently, he offered a few suggestions for helping me to become more healthy … but he did not gather all his patients in a room and bring us a lecture.

When I see a politician giving a speech on television, if he’s too prescriptive (Americans need to drive less, cut our electrical use, conserve water) I might talk back to him or change the channel.

All week long, we resist people in our lives who tell us how to live … even if they’re experts in their field.

And then we come to church on Sunday.

And what happens? A man stands up … using the Bible as his source … and tells us: “You need to trust God more … humble yourself before the Lord … share your faith with your neighbors … treat your wife better … be honest at work … obey our country’s leaders …” and so on.

If we believe the Bible … and we like the pastor … and we’re walking with the Lord … we’ll want to comply with the pastor’s directives.

But if we don’t believe Scripture … or we dislike the pastor … or we’re not walking with God (and this incorporates a large percentage of any congregation) then we may very well resist the pastor’s words.

Paul … Stephen … Peter and John … all were persecuted because of their preaching.

They didn’t arouse opposition because they were disorganized administrators … or insensitive counselors … or poor staff supervisors … or even weak leaders.

No, they aroused opposition because of their preaching … just like Jesus did.

Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what a pastor says … just that he’s the one saying it.

My guess is that people complain more about their pastor during the two hours after he’s preached than during the rest of the week combined.

Why? Because he’s just finished telling them how to live … and they don’t like it.

Second, the pastor arouses rebellion by preaching against specific sins.

If a pastor preaches against the sins of others, we’re all for him.

But when he starts preaching against our sins, we may very well rebel.

And if he doesn’t stop, we may even seek to take him out.

I think it’s safe to say that if John the Baptist were around today, he wouldn’t have a large congregation. His preaching was too specific … too condemning … and way too personal.

Yet Herod Antipas liked to listen to John preach. Mark writes that “Herod feared John and protected him, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man” (Mark 6:20).

But Herod’s wife Herodias felt differently: “So Herodias nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him” (Mark 6:19). Why did she feel that way? “For John had been saying to Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife'” (Mark 6:18).

It took Herodias a while, but she finally took John out … for good … because he was preaching directly at an area of her life (marriage) where she refused to change.

It’s possible for one family member to love the pastor’s preaching … and for another member to hate it … even though the pastor has no idea who feels which way.

Whenever I preached against a specific sin … and if you’re being honest with the biblical text, you have to so … I hoped that my preaching would cause people to experience immediate transformation in that area of their life.

But sometimes, preaching causes sin to surface in someone’s life … at least for a few minutes. If people repent, they’ll grow spiritually. But if they resist, they’ll blame the messenger for coughing up their pain.

The experts tell us that it only takes 7 to 10 people to force out a pastor in any size church.

My guess is that a high percentage of those individuals are getting back at the pastor for preaching against specific sins in their lives … even if they aren’t conscious of it … and won’t ever admit it.

Third, the pastor’s authority, words, and manner can arouse open resistance.

Resistance toward preaching takes various forms:

*Not showing up. During the final few months of my last church ministry, one board member in particular stopped coming to worship services. I’d look down and see his wife … smiling … but he wasn’t sitting next to her … and I knew that wasn’t a good sign.

*Wandering around in the back. In that same church, another board member never brought his Bible … and spent his time during my sermon doing everything besides sitting down and listening to the sermon.

*Watching from another room. Still another board member from that church wouldn’t come into the worship center, but watched the service from a monitor in an adjoining room.

*Crossing arms. My worst all-time antagonist once left the church for a year, then returned on a Sunday when I was preaching through Mark and spoke about Herod Antipas executing John the Baptist. The antagonist sat twenty feet away from me with his arms folded … staring me down … then complained to the board chairman that I aimed the sermon at him. I will never forget his body language that day because he launched a rebellion soon afterwards.

*Rarely looking up. I’ve written before about a board member who spent 90% of the sermon time reading the notes in his Scofield Bible. If all the pastor ever sees while preaching is the tops of some people’s heads … and they won’t look at him … that may signal resistance in action.

*Criticism after the sermon. One time, when I served as guest speaker at a church, a staff member came to the front to make the announcements after I spoke, and tried to rebut something I said during the message. I’m not sure everyone caught it, but I sure did.

This resistance could be to the pastor as a person … or a leader … or a counselor … and be communicating the message, “I don’t like or respect you, so I certainly don’t want to listen to you.”

But it could also be resistance to the pastor’s tone … speaking style … use of language … stories … cadence … sense of authority … or any one of a hundred other things.

Whether the pastor’s preaching reveals or causes resistance, though, there is no doubt that most church antagonists find fault with their pastor’s preaching … even if they never tell him to his face … but discerning observers may very well notice.

Finally, the pastor claims to be speaking for God … but some hearers just won’t buy it.

I was a pastor for 36 years. During that time, what give me the right to stand up and tell people how to live?

In my mind, I was called by God to speak the Word of God to the people of God. Any authority I had came from God’s call to ministry and from using Scripture as my authority.

While a pastor is speaking, many of his hearers identify him as God’s messenger … and sometimes, with God Himself.

And whether they’re conscious of it or not, they can project their feelings about God onto their pastor.

If they’re angry with God, they can become angry with their pastor. If they’re disappointed with God, they can become disillusioned with his messenger. If they’re wounded because God hasn’t protected them from suffering, they can blame God’s servant for the way they feel.

Seven years ago, I gave a message called “Defending Biblical Marriage.” Using Matthew 19:4-6 as my text, I stated that Jesus reiterated that God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman.

Without my knowledge, a board member and his wife invited a journalist from the local paper to hear me speak that day. Being an unbeliever, I heard that she did not like my message … and later on, that leader asked me not to speak anymore on controversial issues.

But I couldn’t do that. I had taken a vow at my ordination … which none of the board members knew about … that I would preach the whole counsel of God … which, in my mind, means that I am free to speak on any and every issue as long as I’m basing my remarks on the authority of God’s Word.

It is entirely possible that the ensuing conflict in my church was launched after I gave that message.

A colleague of mine who does church interventions once told me that he visited a congregation that was having massive problems. As I recall, the pastor had been forced from office.

During his intervention, my colleague discovered that 14 church leaders were engaged in sexual immorality. 14!

Let’s say that you were the pastor of that church, and you were preaching through the Ten Commandments, and you came to the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery.”

With 14 leaders violating that commandment, how do you think they would respond to you?

They’d want your head.

Yes, conflict often arises in the church parking lot … and inside staff offices … and through cell phones … and during board meetings.

But my theory is that conflict originates more often inside the worship center during the pastor’s sermon than in any other place in the community.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

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What’s the Real Story Behind Pastoral Terminations?

Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged private reasons why pastors are terminated, reasons why pastors are terminated, the real reasons why pastors are fired on July 28, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Whenever a pastor is forced out of his position, there are usually two stories as to what happened.

There’s the public version … designed to placate the pastor’s supporters and congregation.

Then there’s the real version … smothered beneath a pile of rhetoric and obfuscation.

In most cases, a pastor is accountable to some kind of governing board, whether they’re called elders, deacons, a council, a vision team … whatever.

When a pastor is dismissed, that board wants to say as little as possible to the church as a whole.

In some cases, they don’t want to make the pastor look bad … but in many cases, they don’t want to make themselves look bad.

So they try and smooth matters over by using phrases in public like, “We just felt it was time” or “We’re going in a different direction” or “If you knew what we know about the pastor, you’d have asked for his resignation, too.”

But so often, nobody ever mentions the real reasons why an innocent pastor was permanently exiled … so let me take a shot at it:

First, the pastor was gaining too much power.

This is especially true in small or rural churches where a family and their cohorts have run things for decades.

A new pastor is called to the church. He attracts lots of newcomers … who start serving in various ministries.

Some become leaders … and their allegiance is to the pastor … not to the board or even the church.

Feeling their power slipping away, the old timers resist the pastor’s leadership … resent his success … and finally decide, “He has to go.” (Of course, this is the same scenario that happened with Jesus and the Sanhedrin.)

Most of the time, the pastor’s detractors won’t even breathe what’s in their hearts to the pastor or his supporters. To criticize a pastor for bringing in new people looks petty … vindictive … and unspiritual.

This scenario often occurs when a church grows too fast too soon … or the pastor makes too many changes early in his ministry … but it can happen at any time during a pastor’s tenure.

And once the pastor has disappeared, the governing board is back in control … and get to choose any interims as well as the next pastor.

Second, the pastor was perceived as being too stubborn.

When I was in high school, I hung out with a group of friends who were all … and still are … great guys. They didn’t drink (around me, anyway) … didn’t take drugs … and didn’t cause trouble.

One Friday night after a football game, they wanted to drive by the home of a song leader they liked … honk a car horn … and yell. (It’s as close as they were ever going to get to her.) It was fine with me if they did it … I just thought it was stupid. So I asked to be taken home first.

Because I didn’t want to go with them, was I being stubborn or acting out of some kind of conviction?

I mention this because people … even board members … sometimes bring pastors stupid proposals … and if the pastor doesn’t say, “Oh, that’s a great idea!” he’s branded as being controlling … stiff-necked … and stubborn.

For twenty years, I wanted my ministry in churches to be characterized by four values: theological accuracy … moral integrity … methodological flexibility … and an outreach orientation.

I tried to be flexible with people’s suggestions and ideas as long as we didn’t sacrifice those values. But if somebody wanted me to bend on integrity … or stop caring about spiritually lost people … I simply wasn’t going to do it … and if I paid for my convictions by being terminated … so be it.

For example, most pastors believe they can only marry two Christians … not a Christian to a non-Christian. And if the daughter of the board chairman wants to marry an unbeliever … and the pastor refuses to perform their ceremony … his refusal may be termed “stubbornness” rather than “a biblical and personal conviction.”

I honestly think that many members of the church staff and board don’t understand how strongly most pastors hold their convictions … so maybe pastors need to do a better job of explaining in public why they believe what they do … even if people don’t understand or like what he’s saying.

But when a stubborn pastor meets a stubborn board … the pastor is usually the one who takes a hike.

Third, the pastor personally offended someone who wouldn’t forgive him.

If we could see into the hearts of God’s people, this reason just might emerge as Number One.

Being human and flawed, pastors sin against people at times.

I’d like to think that when a pastor is aware of his sin against someone, he seeks that person out … apologizes to them … receives verbal forgiveness … and their relationship continues unabated.

But there are two common scenarios where these steps are circumvented … or discarded altogether:

*The pastor has said or done something that offends someone … but the pastor doesn’t know anything about it.

The pastor could have said something that offended someone from the pulpit … or in a private conversation … or in a church communique … but the person offended never talks to the pastor about it.

But rather than forgive him unilaterally … or talk with the pastor personally … this individual starts finding fault with the pastor on many levels … completely hiding what their real motivation is.

How can the pastor ever make such an offense right? He can’t.

*The pastor finds out that he hurt someone and apologizes for his actions … but the person offended either won’t forgive him or … more likely … says he or she forgives him but really doesn’t.

How can the pastor make that situation right? Once again … he can’t.

The real offense in this scenario is not that the pastor said or did something wrong … it’s that the person the pastor hurt refuses to forgive him from the heart … because they view his offense as unforgivable.

Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Many Christians believe that the “bitter root” refers to a believer who is angry with someone else and won’t forgive them … but in context, it seems to refer to a Christian who is so bitter against another believer that their anger spreads inside the congregation and poisons many.

If true, how ironic that a congregation that preaches forgiveness to sinners might expel their pastor because a single person refused to forgive him!

But sadly, the pastor might never discover the real reason for his departure.

Fourth, the pastor offended a group that threatened, “Either he goes or we go.”

I remember reading about a prominent megachurch pastor who angered some long-time families in his congregation.

The pastor was trying to make changes to their worship services. He went through the proper channels … the staff, the official board, worship team personnel … but there was one group he didn’t consult: those with old money.

They weren’t in positions of official power anymore, but when they heard about the pastor’s proposed changes, they went berserk because in their eyes, they were important … and he should have run everything by them.

(This story reminds me of the truism: small churches have small problems … while big churches have big problems.)

Due to the criticisms leveled against him, this megachurch pastor … someone I knew many years ago … resigned his ministry after 14 successful years.

The conflict made the local newspaper, which is where I read about the charges made by the people with old money.

If those making this ultimatum are good friends with members of the official board … if they hold important leadership positions … if they are wealthy and/or generous donors … then more often than not, this tactic will work … and the board will send the pastor packing.

But chances are poor that the pastor will ever hear anything about it.

Finally, the pastor was hit with an allegation that he couldn’t address in public.

One pastor told me that an older woman in his congregation threatened to make some charges against him and circulate them throughout the church.

The pastor knew that the charges were false, but he also knew that if they got out, some people would automatically believe them and insist that he resign … or threaten to leave themselves … so he quit instead.

I love Christ’s church, but I can’t stand this kind of lying. I just hate it.

This is not who Jesus is … nor who Jesus wants His people to be … and it’s exactly what Satan wants: to make a spiritual leader quit based on deception and destruction.

Once a false accusation hits the ecclesiastical grapevine, a pastor is toast unless the church/board provides him with a quick and credible way of defending himself in public.

And sadly, most churches lack such a mechanism.

If I was a member of a church board, I would not let my pastor be driven out of the church based on a lie … even if I thought his best days were behind him.

In fact, I’d do the following things:

*track down the source of the false charge

*confront the person making the allegation and ask them to repent … and ask them to leave the church if they didn’t

*ask the pastor to respond to the allegation in public as soon as possible

*support the pastor’s version of events in public

*teach the church that Christians never use the devil’s tactics to do God’s work

How could I as a spiritual leader allow Satan to have free reign in Christ’s church?

Power struggles … pastoral convictions … bitter parishioners … group threats … and false allegations … these are among the real reasons why pastors are terminated in our day.

But I believe there’s one more reason that I haven’t yet mentioned that towers above them all … and I promise to write a separate article about it soon.

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When Should the Pastor of a Church in Steady Decline Leave?

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged dismissing a pastor due to attendance decline, dismissing a pastor due to lack of growth, terminating a pastor due to attendance decline, terminating a pastor due to lack of growth on July 22, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Several years ago, I visited a large church where the attendance had been plunging.

A key leader told me that the average Sunday morning attendance had once been 1300 but was now 650 … and yet the same pastor was still there.

The church had declined by 50% over the past few years.

Should that pastor have been allowed to stay … or should he have been let go when the church declined by 10% … or 20% … or 35%?

This makes me wonder: at what point should the pastor of a church that’s steadily shrinking be terminated?

This question makes two assumptions:

*that the pastor of a church is ultimately (not totally) responsible for its success or failure, and …

*that there is a point at which church leaders need to dismiss the pastor to preserve their church.

I confess that I don’t have a ready answer for this question … yet … but I plan on consulting with experts over the next few months to see if I can find a consensus.

In the meantime, let me offer a few observations on this topic:

First, many declines occur because a pastor is experiencing burnout.

When a pastor is stressed out, his body becomes unhealthy because he’s overwhelmed by all the demands upon him.

When a pastor is burned out, his emotions become unhealthy because his caring mechanisms are fried.

You can recover from being stressed out by renegotiating your job description … taking better care of your body … doing more things you enjoy … and taking time off.

You can recover from burnout only by taking extended time off … but even then, it’s usually delaying the inevitable.

One well-known pastor feared he was nearing burnout, so he took more than six months off. When he returned, he served for a short while and then retired.

Time off will cure distress, but it usually won’t cure burnout. As Dr. Archibald Hart says, burnout is often the beginning of the end of a ministry.

The burned-out pastor lacks internal motivation. He can only accomplish minimal tasks, like preaching … attending staff and board meetings … and keeping basic appointments.

He also can’t handle people’s problems like he once did. They deplete him of badly needed energy. It’s not that he doesn’t care … he does. It’s that he’s cared about people’s problems so long that they’ve worn him down … a condition Dr. Hart terms “compassion fatigue.”

But here’s the killer: the burned out pastor doesn’t want to see people. He just wants to hide from them. He can’t greet people on Sunday … can’t relate effectively to church leaders anymore … and becomes unpredictable.

And if people don’t feel their pastor cares about them anymore, some may stop attending.

For a church to grow, the pastor needs to be in top shape spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And when he’s emotionally drained, he’ll need months off to recover … and even then, there’s no guarantee that he’ll return healed.

Here’s the tipoff: if a pastor once led the church to growth … but that same church is now in steep decline … he may be burned out without knowing it.

There’s only one way to tell: the pastor has to visit a Christian counselor … take some assessments … and receive a diagnosis from that counselor.

I don’t think that Christians should condemn pastors who have experienced burnout. Sometimes the cause of the burnout is inside that pastor … but other times, it’s found in the way the church functions. Because the pastor burned out trying to serve the Lord, I believe that the church should pick up the tab for his counseling and treat him with dignity and respect.

And if church leaders decide they can’t wait for the pastor to recover, they should let him take some time to look for a new job … and offer him a generous severance package.

But too many pastors fear that if they are diagnosed with burnout, they will be terminated immediately … so they stay in hopes they will recover … which ensures that the church will continue to decline numerically.

Second, many declines occur because the pastor has to control everything.

I recently attended a church where the pastor announced that there was going to be a barbecue … and that he was going to be cooking the hamburgers.

That might be okay in a church of 25 that’s full of invalids, but this is a church of several thousand.

That pastor may be trying to send the message, “Since my whole ministry is about service, I am not above getting greasy for my congregation.”

But he may also be sending this message: “I’m the only person around here who really knows how to cook good hamburgers.”

I believe that a pastor needs to be “in touch” with every ministry in the church. He needs to know what’s going on with the children’s ministry … the young couples … the seniors … and the music. In fact, people expect this.

But many pastors end up sending this message instead: “I know how to do everything at this church, and I can do things better than anyone else. In fact, if I could just clone myself many times over, this church would grow into the stratosphere.”

Control freak pastors can usually grow a church up to a certain point, and then things start to go south.

The pastor doesn’t trust others … and they can sense it. He doesn’t believe others are competent … and they feel rejected.

And when the church begins to decline, the pastor doubles down and tries to control things even more … leading to further decline.

Can control freak pastors change? Maybe … but they have to unlearn some habits first … and learn how to turn over responsibility to others … even if those others aren’t as gifted as their pastor.

And if a pastor doesn’t see the problem … or refuses to change … church leaders need to request his resignation and find somebody who will trust the congregation.

Third, many declines occur because the pastor has no plan to turn things around.

Nearly a year ago, I attended BridgeBuilder training with Dr. Peter Steinke in St. Paul, Minnesota.

I can still hear Dr. Steinke sharing some case studies with the dozen of us in attendance. He said that many times when he consults with a church in conflict, he keeps asking the same question:

“What’s the plan?”

The pastor has to know the plan … and communicate that plan to the board, staff, and congregation … or the church may start to drift and fall into decline.

If a pastor’s primary gifting is shepherding, he’ll usually find himself in a small church … and be very content.

If a pastor’s primary gifting is teaching, he’ll usually find himself in a medium to large church setting.

If a pastor’s primary gifting is leadership, he’ll usually find himself in a large church or a megachurch.

Some pastors who are great teachers and shepherds can only take a church so far. They may have learned some leadership skills, but God never gave them leadership gifts. They may need to step aside so that someone with leadership gifts can take the church to the next level.

However, there are many ways to create a plan for growth:

*the pastor can attend a turnaround conference (preferably with key staff and church leaders)

*the pastor/board can hire a church consultant

*the pastor can solicit ideas from the congregation and key leaders and create a plan that starts from the bottom up

*the pastor can lead the charge to add an additional worship service

*the pastor can find a coach/mentor who will help him improve his skills and boldness

But without a plan … that everybody knows … the church will continue to drift and decline.

And if a pastor can’t … or won’t … create that plan … I believe he needs to go.

Finally, many declines are not the pastor’s fault … but he may need to leave anyway.

Back in the late 1990s, I pastored a church in Silicon Valley. It was a very exciting, cutting edge church, and in many ways, we were ahead of our time technologically.

But on Mother’s Day in 1997, the owner of the building we were renting told us that he wasn’t going to let us renew our lease. (This was around the time of the dotcom boom and he could make more money renting to someone other than a church.)

The only building we could find to rent was the cafeteria at Homestead High School in Cupertino (where Steve Jobs from Apple went) … five miles from our previous building.

When we made the move, we lost 1/3 of our people … those who lived in the opposite direction from our previous meeting place … overnight.

That was the end for me.

Nobody asked me to leave. I just knew it was time. It took us several years to find and assimilate those people that left … and it would take us several more years to regain the same amount of people.

And I lacked the drive and energy to do that.

The best chance the church had to grow again was for me to leave … and for the church to call a pastor with fresh energy and vision.

_______________

I once attended a conference at a very visible megachurch. Their attendance had declined by 2,000 per Sunday one year, and they took some steps to turn things around … with the same pastor at the helm.

And since he’s an incredibly gifted leader, they did turn things around.

But I remember having lunch with another megachurch pastor a few years ago. He told me that when the attendance begins to decline at a church, that pastor needs to leave because the same person who presides over the decline usually can’t turn things around … so he negotiated a separation agreement and resigned.

Two questions for you:

First, how often can a pastor who presides over an attendance decline stay and turn things around?

Second, what’s the magic number (if any) for dismissal: 10% decline … 20% … 50% … or what?

Several months later, I consulted with some top Christian leaders and received their views on this topic. Here’s that article:

Turning Around a Declinling Church

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The Associate Pastor – Church Board Conspiracy

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged conflict between senior pastor and board, conflict between senior pastor and staff, senior pastor and associate pastor conflict on July 15, 2015| 4 Comments »

Pastor Mark still couldn’t believe it was really happening.

After twelve years of ministry as senior pastor of Mercy Church, Mark felt pressured to resign.

Many people concluded that Mark quit because he couldn’t get along with the board. That certainly seemed to be the case over the last few days of his tenure, but the truth was known only by a handful.

It wasn’t initially the church board that did in Mark … it was the associate pastor.

And the scenario I’m about to describe has become increasingly common.

Two years before Mark was forced to leave, he hired an associate pastor named Greg.

The church spent thousands of dollars moving Greg and his family to their community, and someone in the church let Greg rent their second house for a greatly reduced amount.

Greg was hired to do the things that Mark didn’t do well … or didn’t have time to do … and his five overall duties were all spelled out in his written job description.

Greg was responsible for running the small group ministry … overseeing the youth ministry … incorporating newcomers into the church … leading the men’s ministry … and starting several community outreach projects.

Right after Greg’s hiring, he began making plans for each of the five areas. And over the next eight months, he recruited leaders for those ministries … helped them find volunteers … did some training … and reported everything back to Mark.

So far, so good.

But as time went on, Greg’s ministries didn’t flourish … and three were on life support.

Greg was increasingly unhappy.

Why?

*Greg’s wife told him that he was a much better preacher and leader than Mark … and that he should request and receive a significant raise in the new budget. When he received a small cost-of-living raise after his first year, he sulked.

*Greg had also made some friends in the church … some of whom told him, “You should be pastor instead of Mark!” And Greg believed them.

*Greg gradually lost interest in small groups, incorporating newcomers, and community projects. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to do … chose not to tell Mark the truth … and faked his way along.

*Rather than doing what he was hired for, Greg spent his time goofing around online … talking on the phone with old friends … running errands for his family … and planning a mission trip that hadn’t been authorized.

Meanwhile, Mark was getting reports that the small group ministry was on life support … that only a few guests had returned for a second visit since Greg’s debut … and that the two community projects he started had both died.

Mark called Greg into his office one day and asked him for an honest progress report on each ministry.

Greg fudged … and bluffed … and lied.

Mark was justifiably upset. The church had invested a lot of time and money in Greg, and he didn’t seem to be working out. Mark told Greg, “If your performance doesn’t improve, we’re going to have to reevaluate our relationship.”

Greg went home and told his wife what Mark had said … and she hit the roof … and the telephone.

What she should have said was, “Greg, are you working a full week? Are you giving God and His people your best? Are you doing what Mark wants you to do?”

But she told him instead, “You are twice the leader Mark will ever be! You should be the pastor of Mercy Church! What does Mark know? I’ve lost all respect for him.”

Greg was visibly upset … afraid for his job … and even his career.

He decided to contact a board member named Phil who had invited him out to lunch twice before.

The two of them met at Chili’s … where Greg told Phil:

“I don’t feel fulfilled right now at Mercy.”

“I’m not sleeping well … eating right … or able to focus on my ministry duties because I’m so upset with Mark.”

“I feel I’ve done a great job at Mercy, but Mark doesn’t agree, and he may be close to firing me.”

“My wife is upset, too, and she’s becoming a basket case.”

“I just want to serve the Lord without interference.”

The entire future of Mercy Church will be determined by what Phil does next.

He should tell Greg, “I’m sorry things aren’t working out, but Mark is your boss, and I support him fully. Unless Mark is guilty of a major offense (heresy, sexual immorality, criminal behavior, verbal abuse), I’m not going to tell him how to run the staff. You either need to do what Mark wants you to do or look for another job.”

But all too many board members reply, “Oh, Greg, I’m so sorry that Mark has hurt you. That’s terrible! Let me take your concerns to a couple other board members. We’ll see what we can do to help you.”

Without realizing it, many board members end up sabotaging their pastor’s ministry by:

*siding with the complaining staff member.

*failing to inform the senior pastor of the staff member’s complaint.

*taking responsibility for the staff member’s feelings.

*telling other board members about the complaint.

*neglecting to tell the staff member to shape up or ship out.

Here is what happens all too often:

Phil contacts two other board members and passes on Greg’s complaints. They listen to Phil … contact Greg and listen to him … never ask Mark for his side … conclude that “we must keep Greg” … and undermine Mark’s authority as staff supervisor.

And once Greg’s complaints are out in the open and unresolved … Phil spreads Greg’s complaints to other board members … some of whom take Greg’s side and add their own complaints against Pastor Mark.

This process can flourish underground for several months until:

*the complaining virus has spread throughout the board … to board member’s wives … and to several key leaders.

*the board reaches critical mass that Mark is a bad guy who has to go.

*the board makes this decision between board meetings … and without Mark’s knowledge.

When the board finally decides to speak with Mark about his tensions with Greg, the pastor:

*claims he isn’t aware of any tensions with Greg.

*feels that everything has been blown out of proportion.

*tells the board they have usurped his authority as staff supervisor.

*feels betrayed by a board that seemed completely loyal to him … until Greg showed up.

*doesn’t realize that the board has already sided with Greg over against their pastor.

Two weeks later, when Pastor Mark stands in front of the congregation and reads his letter of resignation, he probably won’t mention that Greg betrayed him … as did the entire church board.

He’ll trade that resignation letter for a separation package … and ask himself every day for months, “What in the world did I do wrong?”

Under this scenario, the answer is a pronounced, “Pastor, you did nothing wrong … except put too much trust in your associate and board members.”

The real culprits?

*A lazy and rebellious associate pastor.

*His jealous and bitter wife.

*A board member who allowed himself to be triangled (accept responsibility) for a problem that wasn’t his to resolve.

*Several other board members who foolishly sided with their new associate rather than their experienced and proven senior pastor. (The senior pastor had served the church faithfully and productively for years, unlike the associate.)

*A church system that rewards slothfulness and disloyalty.

In some cases, the board then turns around and asks the associate pastor to become either the interim pastor or to throw his hat into the ring to become senior pastor … and sometimes, that’s exactly what happens.

I once interviewed a pastor who had experienced this exact scenario.

One day, he was leading a megachurch.

The next Sunday, he was out … and his associate became senior pastor.

Why does this happen?

Because the church board … in their anxious, confused state … forget three basic principles:

*God has called the senior pastor to be staff supervisor … not the church board.

*God has called the associate pastor to serve under the senior pastor … not the church board.

*God has called the senior pastor to be accountable to the church board … not the associate pastor.

It all seems so simple on paper, does it not?

Then why don’t some church leaders carry this out in practice?

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How Does a Pastor Respond to False Allegations?

Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged accusing a pastor of wrongdoing, lying about a pastor, making accusations against a pastor, pastoral termination on June 23, 2015| 5 Comments »

Let’s imagine that you attend a church where you don’t like your pastor.

You don’t like his appearance … his manner … his family … or his preaching.

In fact, you’d prefer that he resigned and went far away so your church could hire a pastor you do like.

If you had a chance to push out your pastor, would you take it?

And if so, to what lengths would you go to get your way?

*Would you make up stories about him?

*Would you distort something he said?

*Would you spread a nasty rumor about his wife?

*Would you tell others that you saw him do something terribly wrong?

In other words, would you lie to get rid of him?

I’ve been hearing more and more stories about board members, staff members, and churchgoers who dislike their pastor so much that they’re willing to lie to force him to resign.

Since Christians believe that God’s Word is truth … and that Jesus is the truth … and that God’s people should only speak truth with each other … such lying is clearly wrong and out of place inside God’s covenant community.

But when people can’t push out their pastor using truth, they often resort to falsehoods … just as the Jewish leaders invented allegations about Jesus to destroy Him.

The lying is bad enough. It’s a negation of all that God wants His people to be and do.

But these same pastors tell me that when they finally become aware of the false allegations, they are not given any kind of a forum where they can respond to the lies.

In fact, sometimes they’re encouraged to resign … leaving their reputation in tatters.

Let me share an example.

Imagine that Clark has been the pastor at Harmony Church for twelve years. Lately, his wife has been feeling neglected … and she shares her feelings with a church friend named Donna.

In a weak moment, Donna shares that information with a friend from her small group named Betty … but Betty mixes up what Donna shares with something she heard from another friend … and Betty tells a couple of friends that the pastor and his wife may be headed for divorce.

Over the next three months, that allegation slowly makes its way throughout the church, where the charge is embellished … and now the pastor and his wife are divorcing because he’s having an affair.

The wife of a staff member hears it. The children of two board members hear it. Then a major church gossip hears it.

But the pastor and his wife don’t hear it … and remain unaware of what is being said about them … until the charge reaches critical mass … and comes to the attention of the church board.

Before the next board meeting, the chairman stops by Pastor Clark’s office … says that he suspects that Clark’s marriage is over … and that it would be best for the church if he would resign immediately.

Dumbfounded, Clark can’t believe what he’s hearing. He tells the chairman, “My marriage is just fine. Things have been a little strained at home because our daughter has been struggling with asthma … my wife’s brother has been ill … and the search for a new worship leader here at church has taken longer than expected. But I assure you, our marriage is great!”

But the chairman responds, “Look, Clark, it’s all over the church that you’re having an affair, and that’s the real reason why your marriage is ending. Why don’t you just stop playing games and admit it? Or would you rather force the board to fire you?”

You might think that the story I’ve just described is rather farfetched, but I assure you, it’s not.

And what Pastor Clark doesn’t know is that several people have added their own charges to the circulating charge of adultery.

It’s been going around that Clark mistreats staff … mismanages church funds … doesn’t work a full 40-hour week … and that his son is on drugs.

But not one of the charges made against him is true.

At this juncture, what can Pastor Clark do to correct the lies?

Here are five possibilities:

*The pastor can choose to say nothing … relying on God to defend his reputation and position.

Over the years, I have heard many Christian leaders advocate this approach. They say, “You don’t need to defend yourself. God will defend you.”

This approach … which certainly sounds spiritual … is the way that Jesus handled the accusations against Him before He went to the cross. 1 Peter 2:23 says about Jesus, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

Pastors should follow Jesus’ example and not retaliate or make threats against their accusers. And they should entrust themselves to God the Father, who does judge justly.

But throughout His ministry, Jesus did defend Himself against various charges, as even a cursory reading of John 5-9 will make clear. The only time He didn’t defend Himself is when He knew it was His time to go to the cross.

And Paul defended himself as well against charges that he wasn’t a legitimate apostle in 2 Corinthians.

No, a pastor doesn’t need to respond to every little criticism that someone might be saying about him. The great British preacher Charles Spurgeon says that in such cases, a pastor needs to use “the blind eye and the deaf ear.”

But when public charges are going around about a pastor, if he doesn’t respond to them … clearly and quickly … his detractors will interpret his silence as proof that he’s guilty as charged.

In fact, the longer a pastor waits to respond to the charges, the more widespread they become … and the more people believe them.

*The pastor can call an emergency board meeting and respond to each allegation made against him.

But at this point, Clark only knows about the marriage/affair allegation. Even if he successfully knocks that one down, he isn’t aware that there are other allegations waiting for him.

The problem is that the board has already judged Pastor Clark as guilty as evidenced by their asking for his resignation. And once people take the position that their pastor needs to leave, they almost never reverse their position.

It might be wise for Clark to reach out to several board members that he knows personally to gauge how things look for him. Maybe he’ll find a sympathetic ear and that person can lobby the rest of the board on his behalf.

But at the very least, the board should meet with Clark and hear him out … with an open mind.

*The pastor can call a special congregational meeting and answer the allegations in public.

At first glance, this seems like a good idea. The pastor can speak directly to the congregation that he’s served for many years … hoping that his integrity and love will carry him through.

But the problem with this approach is that people who have never heard any of the allegations will now hear them for the first time … and some may believe them, regardless of how well Clark is able to defend himself.

In addition, if some people have convinced themselves that Clark needs to go, they may create more allegations during the meeting and throw them Clark’s way … even in an accusatory fashion.

And from the reports I’ve received, sometimes people won’t let the pastor defend himself. They either yell at him or boo him when he tries to speak. All some want to hear from him is, “I resign.”

I know one case where this approach worked … and I’m sure it’s worked in other situations. If a pastor still has the support of most of the congregation, it might be worth trying … but the pastor has to know going in that he’s going to be treated fairly … and if the congregation morphs into a mob, it will damage the pastor and the church for years.

*The pastor can write a document that lists each allegation along with his response.

This approach is helpful for two specific parties: the pastor and his supporters.

It can be therapeutic for a pastor to respond in writing to each allegation made against him. It can feel empowering … cleansing … and vindicating.

If the pastor then gives that document to his supporters, they will have the pastor’s defense in his own language. If it’s well-written and makes sense, that document will give the pastor’s supporters greater confidence in him … and may allow them to persuade people in their network that the pastor is innocent of the charges.

*The pastor can email his response to a few trusted supporters … confident that they will use it as needed.

*The pastor can email his response to the entire congregation … although his detractors will deconstruct, parse, and challenge every word … and even circulate their own responses.

*The pastor can send the document to the entire congregation via snail mail … where everyone will receive his letter at the same time … and it’s much more difficult to respond quickly to a letter than an email.

The disadvantage of this approach, though, is that almost nothing the pastor writes will convince the pastor’s detractors that he is innocent, because if he’s innocent, then they’re guilty of gossip … hatred … lying … and acting in an ungodly manner.

In other words, every time he’s proven right, they’re proven wrong.

There is one circumstance where I think this approach has merit: after a pastor has decided to resign.

In many cases, after a pastor’s last Sunday, people come out of the woodwork to trash his reputation. People feel free to hurl accusations at their former pastor … even though they never made those accusations to his face.

The pastor might give a defense of his ministry to some of his supporters and let them defend him after his absence.

*The pastor can insist that the board use a biblical process … either to accuse him or to clear his name.

Whenever allegations are flying around a church about a pastor, the anxiety in the congregation grows exponentially. In fact, people become so anxious that they spread the charges around almost without thinking.

The congregation then becomes a kangaroo court … charging and convicting the pastor without a shred of evidence.

Some people even engage in the wicked practice of “mobbing” a pastor … piling on false accusations until he quits.

This raises the question:

When allegations are being made about a pastor: does the pastor need to prove that he’s innocent … or does the board need to prove that he’s guilty?

I think the board needs to prove that he’s guilty.

So here’s a suggestion. Under such circumstances, the pastor might tell the board:

“I will not resign unless you use a biblical process to either convict or exonerate me. Since members of the board seem to think I’m guilty … and aren’t inclined to treat me impartially … I ask that the board and I select a team of five people from within the congregation to examine the charges against me. These people need to be spiritually mature, objective, and fairminded.

“I will take a leave of absence of two months. During that time, this Conflict Resolution Group will conduct an investigation into the charges made against me. They will interview those who have made those charges, and they will bring every charge to my attention so I can respond to each one.

“When their investigation is done, they will state whether I’m innocent or guilty of each charge made against me.

“If I’m guilty of any charge, I will admit wrongdoing and ask forgiveness. If I’m guilty of a major offense … such as heresy, adultery, or criminal behavior … I will resign.

“But if it turns out that I’m innocent of all charges, then I will be given the option of staying at the church or resigning with my head held high.

“Either way, I want this church to learn how to handle such charges in a biblical, loving, and just manner.”

I know Christian leaders who would conclude, “The pastor should just resign. Why prolong the pain? He’s toast and should just quit.”

But I would ask this question instead:

How will a church ever learn how to handle charges against their pastor in a spiritual rather than a political manner if a pastor is forced to resign every time false allegations reach critical mass?

The ball is in your court. How do you feel about what I’ve just written?

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Covering Up a Pastoral Termination

Reflections on the Sixth Anniversary of a Church Coup

Ambushed in the House of God

Who is at Fault When a Pastor is Forced to Leave?

Six Reasons Why God Allows Pastors to be Terminated

Preaching and Pastoral Termination

What’s the Real Story Behind Pastoral Terminations?

When Should the Pastor of a Church in Steady Decline Leave?

The Associate Pastor – Church Board Conspiracy

How Does a Pastor Respond to False Allegations?

“Church Coup”

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“Church Coup”

Categories

Archives

Follow Blog via Email

Church Conflict

Conflict Resolution Groups I Recommend

Pastor Abusers

Pastors and Burnout

Pastors and Forced Termination