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Archive for the ‘Current Church Issues’ Category

Lessons from a Dissolved Church

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on November 5, 2014| 2 Comments »

Like many Christians – and non-Christians – I’ve been following recent events at Mars Hill Church in Seattle.

Co-founder and lead pastor Mark Driscoll resigned on October 14 after a formal investigation into charges against him.

Teaching pastor Dave Bruskas just announced that Mars Hill Church will cease to exist organizationally as of January 1, 2015, and that Mars Hill’s satellite churches in four states must decide their own futures.

I have never heard Mark Driscoll speak.  I have never read any of his books.  I know little about the church, and have no special insight into its inner workings.

But from a church conflict perspective, I’d like to share four thoughts:

First, it’s always perilous to build a church around one person.

I admire visionaries … and great Bible teachers … and people who write books … and those who speak with power and forthrightness.

Sometimes, God even enfolds all those qualities into one person.

And when that person uses their gifts, God sometimes blesses them with notoriety … influence … and numbers.

That appears to be what happened with Mark Driscoll.  God seems to have given him “five talents.”

And when you’re blessed with so much, you have a responsibility to use those talents … and to experience God’s blessing.

But not long ago, I heard that Mars Hill was starting a satellite campus in a highly-churched location that I knew.

My initial thought was, “Why are they doing this?  Is there really a need for a satellite church in that community?”

But since the church would also be showing video of Driscoll preaching, I asked another question:

“What if something happens to Mark Driscoll?”

Back in the 1980s, televangelist Jimmy Swaggart produced an ad encouraging churches to buy a satellite dish … so they could watch sermons from Swaggart instead of from their own pastor.

I kid you not.  (What rhymes with Swaggart?)

The ad seemed to communicate, “Why listen to your own pastor when you can watch the charismatic, handsome, anointed, and prophetic Brother Jimmy instead?”

But it wasn’t long afterwards that Brother Jimmy fell into sexual immorality … twice.

Besides emptying out the church he pastored, he would have emptied out all those “satellite” churches as well.

Christ’s body needs hundreds of thousands of gifted teachers, but a select few operate as if we would all be better off if we just listened to them all the time.

And that should always raise a colossal red flag.

Second, it’s counterproductive to prevent churchgoers from speaking with those who have left a church.

Seven years ago at Mars Hill, church leaders fired two staff pastors who protested leadership authority being placed into the hands of Pastor Driscoll and a few close allies.

Then the pastors and elders asked the congregation to shun the two men.

What were the leaders afraid of?

They were afraid that the two staff pastors would share their mistreatment with their network inside the church … that this might make the pastors and elders look bad … and that some people might leave the church as a result.

Which, of course, is the very definition of being divisive, right?

But instituting a “gag order” never works.  It smacks of a cover-up … even if it’s designed to protect the church as an institution.

When people have been dismissed from an organization, they have the right to tell their side of things unless they forfeit that right in writing … often in exchange for a generous severance package … but their story almost always leaks out anyway.

Not long ago, I heard about a church that pushed out their senior pastor.  The church board then announced to the congregation that nobody in the church was to have any contact with the pastor whatsoever.

If I attended that congregation, I’d reach for the phone immediately to discover the pastor’s side of the story … and if he wouldn’t tell me, I’d ask his wife … relatives … friends … you name it … until I knew “the other side.”

And if the leaders told me I’d be sinning by speaking with him, I’d do it anyway and charge the leaders with sinning instead … because most of the time, leaders issue gag orders to prevent God’s people from discovering their own mistakes.

When I was a pastor, people occasionally left the church angrily over something I did or said.  From time-to-time, other churchgoers would approach me and say, “I heard So-and-So left the church.  Is that true?”

If I wanted to, I could have framed the conflict to make me look good … and to make the departing attendees look bad.

But that’s manipulation … and exercising hyper-control … and that kind of behavior is unworthy of a Christian leader.

So I would say, “Why don’t you call them and speak with them directly?”  Few ever left the church after doing so.

When people leave a church, they have the right to share their opinions and feelings … even if they’re perceived as divisive … because they are out from under church control.

And when we let God control the situation, we don’t have to control anything except our own response.

Third, godly leaders eventually admit when they’ve been wrong.

Because they unjustly dismissed those two pastors seven years ago, eighteen pastors and elders from Mars Hill have just published a confession in writing.  They wrote to their former pastors:

“We want to publicly confess our sin against you regarding events that took place at Mars Hill Church back in 2007.  We were wrong.  We harmed you.  You have lived with the pain of that for many years.  As some of us have come to each of you privately, you have extended grace and forgiveness, and for that we thank you.  Because our sin against you happened in a public way and with public consequences, we want to make our confession public as well with this letter.”

The letter continued, “We stood by as it happened, and that was wrong….  [We] put doubt about your character in the minds of church members, though you had done nothing to warrant such embarrassment and scrutiny.  By doing this, we misled the whole church, harmed your reputation, and damaged the unity of the body of Christ.”

As Howard Hendricks used to say, “May their tribe increase.”

Judas regretted betraying Jesus the very night of his treachery.  Peter repented of denying Jesus right after he did it.

But it takes some Christian leaders years before they repent of mistreating God’s leaders … in this case, seven years … but at least they finally did it.

One line stood out for me: “You have lived with the pain of that for many years.”

Truer words have never been spoken.  There are tens of thousands of innocent pastors who are no longer in ministry because of the way they were forced out of their churches … their reputations in tatters … their hearts permanently broken.

But to have those who harmed you contact you and say, “We were wrong … please forgive us” is the very best remedy for restoration.

Because the leaders who push out an innocent pastor rarely repent of their actions, we must commend these men for their humility and courage.

May they serve as examples to thousands.

Finally, conflict can surface and destroy a church at any time.

Last January, 14,000 people were attending Sunday morning worship services at Mars Hill’s main campus.

Ten months later, the church is laying off staff and selling buildings.

Some of the responsibility falls on the shoulders of Pastor Driscoll, who unwisely spent more than $200,000 of church funds to promote a book he wrote.

But sometimes, it’s hard to figure out how these things can happen.

Five years ago this Saturday, I sat in two church meetings and listened to church attendees that I loved charge me publicly with things I never did or said.  My daughter sat next to me the whole time … for 3 1/2 hours.

The charges originated with people who didn’t attend the meetings, and were passed on as gospel truth, even though the charges constituted hearsay.

When the second meeting ended, a veteran pastor … now a top church consultant … walked to the front of the worship center, picked up a microphone, and told the congregation, “You have just destroyed your church.”

I remain dumbfounded as to how quickly the conflict spread throughout the church.  I honestly didn’t sense that anything was wrong until the day the conflict surfaced.

The church of Jesus Christ has specialists who can help a church in conflict: consultants … mediators … interventionists … and peacemakers.

But Jesus’ people are doing a terrible job of preventing major conflict from occurring altogether.

I recently took training from one of the top church conflict interventionists in the United States.  He is in great demand.

I asked him, “Who is trying to prevent these conflicts from happening in the first place?”

He mentioned an organization devoted to preventing conflict that had started two years before … so that’s one.

But we need hundreds more.

If major conflict can occur at a church like Mars Hill … a church that God has richly blessed for years … then it can happen in your church as well.  So remember:

Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are underdoing the same kind of sufferings.  1 Peter 5:8-9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Some Shocking Statistics About Pastors

Posted in Burnout and Depression in Ministry, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on August 15, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Did you know that being a pastor may be “the single most stressful and frustrating working profession?”

That’s the conclusion of Dr. Richard J. Krejcir from his study of 1,050 pastors at two pastor’s conferences back in 2005 and 2006.

(You can find the study, titled What is Going on with the Pastors in America? at http://www.truespirituality.org.  If you can find a more recent study, please send it to me.)

Here are some of Dr. Krejcir’s discoveries:

*90% of pastors stated they are frequently fatigued and worn out (not necessarily “burned out”) on a weekly and even daily basis.

*89% of the pastors surveyed considered leaving the ministry at one time.  57% said they would leave if they had a better place to go – including secular work.

*77% of the pastors surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage.

*71% of pastors stated they were burned out and that they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis.

*38% of pastors said they were divorced or currently in a divorce process.

*Only 23% said they felt happy and content on a regular basis with who they are in Christ, in their church, and in their home.

Dr. Krejcir’s findings are also supported by the following research which he distilled from The Barna Group, Focus on the Family, and Fuller Seminary:

*1,500 pastors leave the ministry every month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.

*80% of pastors feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastor.

*80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave within the first five years.

*70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

*70% of pastors do not have close personal friends with whom they can confide.

*50% of pastor’s marriages will end in divorce.

*50% of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could.

*Most statistics say that 60% to 80% of those who enter the ministry will not still be in it ten years later, and only a fraction will stay in it as a lifetime career.

Krejcir concludes:

“The results of the survey are that pastors face more conflict, more anger, and more expectations than ever before.  At the same time, they work long hours and have little pay, little reward, and produce their own dysfunctional families because of their absence.”

Which of these statistics most impact you … and why?

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When Christian Leaders Are in Pain

Posted in Burnout and Depression in Ministry, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on August 13, 2014| 5 Comments »

I recently read an article about a Christian leader that broke my heart … and I can’t get it out of my mind.

This leader was a long-time executive director of a major Christian organization.  He committed suicide as police were investigating a serious charge against him.

I’ve admired the work that his organization has done for a long time.  My prayer is that this tragedy doesn’t affect the crucial work they’re doing all over the world.

While reading this article, I thought about the many Christian leaders that I’ve known or respected who were discovered to be all too human and fallible.

Professors at Christian schools.  Missionaries.  Prominent pastors.  Christian vocalists and musicians.  Parachurch leaders.  Evangelists.  Associate pastors.  Televangelists.

Some preached against divorce … and eventually went through their own divorce.

Others railed against adultery … only to be seduced themselves.

Some preached a prosperity gospel … and later lost everything.

And some have behaved in ways that we … and even they … cannot fathom.

Back in the late 1980s, when there was a rash of scandals involving Christian leaders, we were told that leaders needed to demonstrate greater accountability, and that this single step would halt most of the scandals.

Maybe so … but I have a different take on this.

I believe there is a direct correlation between doing ministry and personal pain.

The more committed you are to ministering to others, the more pain you will experience in your own life.

If you doubt me, read 2 Corinthians.   In 1 Corinthians, Paul tries to address various issues at Corinth and restrains himself when it comes to expressing his own emotions.

But in 2 Corinthians, Paul lets it all hang out, and at times it’s difficult to read.  Just a few examples:

1:8: “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.”

2:4: “For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.”

4:8-9: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

7:5: “For when we came to Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn – conflicts on the outside, fears within.”

11:23-25: “I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again.  Five times I received frm the Jews the forty lashes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea.”

And then there’s this one:

11:28-29: “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.  Who is weak, and I do not feel weak?  Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?”

Notice that?  Besides all the physical pain that Paul endured for Christ, he also felt emotional and spiritual pain because he cared so much for others.

When I entered church ministry, I was told in general terms that I would suffer.  I plowed ahead anyway.

What I wasn’t told … and most of us aren’t … is that there are times when the pain becomes so great that it becomes unbearable.  After a while, the hurts of others gets to you, and you don’t know what to do with all that pain.

Some Christian leaders secretly turn to alcohol and drugs … some to illicit sex … some to overspending … and some become depressed.

When you’re expected to be “on fire” for the Lord all the time … and experiencing victory after victory … it’s hard to admit to anyone … much less yourself … that you’re hurting.

You’d like to lean on your wife, but she has her own pain to deal with, and she’s already tired of hearing about yours.

You’d like to talk with a counselor, but you don’t know who to trust, and you suspect that counseling will uncover more of your own buried pain.

You’d like to tell your board, but you’re afraid they’ll condemn you or fire you, so you stay silent.

You want to tell somebody about your pain, but you can’t find anyone who’s safe enough to trust.

And so you stuff it … and the pain starts turning into anxiety, anger, and depression.

And when you finally do something stupid … or take your own life … people wonder why you didn’t reach out for help.

Maybe you should have reached out … or maybe you just didn’t know where to go for help.

I’ve visited a lot of churches over the past 4 1/2 years … probably 50-60.

And in the course of listening to many preachers, I’ve come to this conclusion: I wouldn’t dare share a personal problem with most of them.  Know why?

Because they don’t dare share their humanity with us.

When I hear a pastor tell a story on himself … or admit that he struggles with certain issues … or needs the gospel just as much as I do, I’m drawn to him.  I feel safe with him.

But when I don’t hear any humanity coming from the pulpit … when the pastor says “you” and not “we” … when he yells and condemns and intimates, “I have it all together” – I don’t feel safe … and I’m sure I’m not alone.

The ethos of much of the Christian world seems to be, “Even though you aren’t perfect, you better act like you are, so you can keep your job and your reputation.”

But Christian leaders aren’t perfect.  Every one is messed up in some way.  They all have their issues, wounds, and struggles … just like you do … and just like Paul did.

One of America’s greatest pastors has always been transparent about what God is doing in his life.  I once heard him tell a group of pastors that he was in therapy for some “junk from his past” and that he and his wife were in marriage counseling for some issues they were struggling with.

When asked how he could be so open about his life, this pastor said, “It takes too much energy to hide who you are.”

Those revelations might deflate many Christians, but they were liberating for me.  My attitude was, “If God can use him with all his problems, then God can use me as well.”

And I operated by this corollary: if that pastor can share his issues in appropriate ways to appropriate groups, then maybe I can do the same thing.

Which is the more inspiring statement?

“Christians have no right to be depressed, and I have never been depressed because I know Jesus.”

Or …

“I have been depressed in my life, but by God’s grace … and with the help of other Christians … He has brought me through depression and made me stronger.”

Personally, I resonate with the second statement because it’s true of me.  28 years ago, I was severely depressed to the point I wasn’t operating normally.

My wife found a qualified Christian counselor and I saw him for four months.  After our time together, I never became that low again … and I’ve been through some pretty horrendous times in life and in ministry.

Because I want the painful times in my life to be redemptive, I’ve openly shared my long-ago struggle with depression both while preaching and in writing.  (Did you know that 48 of the Psalms … roughly 1/3 … deal with depression?  Maybe God is a lot more open about it than we are.)

But I do know this: we’re all weak and vulnerable at times.  Because of the pain in our lives, we’re all tempted to do stupid stuff.

And all of us – including Christian leaders – need safe people we can talk with and safe places we can go if we’re to experience healing and continue in ministry.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul quoted Jesus as saying that His “power is made perfect in weakness.”

Not in strength … in weakness.

Act like you’re strong all the time, and you may eventually succumb to weakness.

Admit that you’re weak, and just might be on the road to becoming strong.

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Four Pulpit Manipulations

Posted in Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on August 4, 2014| 2 Comments »

When I was in my last year of seminary, I had a choice: take 6 units of electives or spend a year writing a thesis.

I chose the thesis.

It took me one semester to research and write a 100-page first draft, and after that, it was just a matter of making corrections.

But I wrote the thesis because I felt strongly about my topic: the public invitation, or as many Christians call it, the altar call.

I spent many years in fundamentalist churches, and at the end of nearly every service, the pastor would invite people who wanted to receive Christ to “come to the altar” (presumably the communion table even though the NT says that Jesus’ cross was the final altar.)

As a child, I just accepted the practice, but when I was old enough to read Scripture myself, I noticed something:

The New Testament does not record even one instance of an altar call.

So I started paying attention to the way my pastors handled their public invitations and comparing them with Scripture.

Why?

Because I sensed they were manipulating people into “making a decision” for Christ.  They were doing more than persuading people to come to Christ … they were pressuring them in an unethical manner.

Here are four pulpit manipulations that I’ve observed after a sermon over the years:

First, the pastor intimates that a person must do something physical to be saved.

How many times have you heard a pastor say, “Everyone Jesus called, He called publicly?”

The assumption behind this statement is, “You can’t become a Christian unless you take some overt action.”

If this statement is true, then Paul and the apostles should have implemented this practice as well.

But Paul writes in Romans 10:9: “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

To be saved, Paul doesn’t say that an unbeliever has to do anything with his body … just with his mouth (confess “Jesus is Lord”) and with his heart (believe Jesus is alive).

Paul goes on in verse 10: “For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

We’re saved by what we do with our heart (inward belief) and mouth (outward confession expressed through prayer; see verse 13), not with our body.  (When Jesus talks about confessing Him before men in Matthew 10:32, He’s referring to the mouth, not the body.)

And yet, when Billy Graham ended a message, he always called people to the front and intimated that if they didn’t come forward, they couldn’t be saved.

But then he’d turn to the television camera and say, “And if you’re watching this program at home, you can be saved as well by asking Jesus into your life.”

So if you’re watching Billy in person, you have to walk down near the stage to be saved, but if you’re watching him at home, you can become a Christian just by praying?

Wouldn’t it be more ethical to lead people in a prayer wherever they’re sitting … tell them that Jesus has now saved them … and then ask them to come forward or call/write to receive literature or counseling?

I knew a young woman who had received Christ but didn’t think she was saved because she was too scared to “walk the aisle” at church.  How many others have felt as she did?

You can receive Christ even though you’ve never walked to the front at church … and you can walk to the front and not be saved.

So why do preachers and evangelists still engage in this practice?

Second, the pastor uses the foot-in-the-door technique.

This happened recently at a church I attended.  After the message, the pastor presented the gospel well.

Then he asked those who wanted to receive Christ to raise their hands so he could pray for them.  (“I see that hand … I see that hand.”)

So far, I was right there with the pastor, but I kept hoping, “Pastor, don’t do it … don’t do it.”

But he did.

He asked those who raised their hands to come and stand at the front … without telling them in advance.

Then he asked those who came forward to go into a side room for further counseling.

Why didn’t the pastor tell people how to receive Christ in their seats?  Why did they have to come to the front first?

I don’t really know.  Was this the way he came to Christ?  Was this the way his mentor taught him?

Since the church was having a baptism that afternoon, is it possible the pastor needed more candidates?

We take great pains in our culture to insure that babies are born in private, and for good reason.

Then why do so many preachers insist that spiritual infants be born publicly?  Couldn’t this be a barrier to the gospel?

Third, the preacher places undue pressure on unbelievers.

Years ago, I attended a worship service where the pastor told his congregation after his message, “God has told me that someone is going to come forward today.”

So we sang “Just As I Am” … not twice … not 5 times … not 9 times … but 12 times … and nobody came forward.

(I was thinking about going forward just so we could all go home.)

Why all that singing?  Was the repetition of the stanzas supposed to melt someone’s defenses and cause them to walk forward?

I think so.

But again … where do we find this kind of thing in the New Testament?

We don’t.

I believe that the gospel is indeed “the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).  If someone preaches the gospel well, why do they need to pressure people to embrace it?

Persuasion?  Yes.

Pressure?  No.

When the Holy Spirit is applying the gospel to the hearts of lost people, He brings people to Christ without using manipulation.

Finally, the altar call minimizes baptism.

When I was a youth pastor, I led a weekend college retreat, and a couple of brothers received Christ.

Both the brothers – along with their sister – wanted to be baptized.

I told my pastor that on a Sunday afternoon, and he said, “Jim, ask them to come forward tonight for baptism when I give the invitation.”

Although I didn’t want to do it, I passed on his wishes to them before the Sunday evening service.

They didn’t understand why they had to go forward.  When I suggested they needed to publicly profess their faith, one of the brothers asked me, “Isn’t that what baptism is for?”

Of course, he was dead on … and they didn’t walk forward that evening.  (To insist that they walk forward against their will would have been unethical.)

But I had the privilege of baptizing those siblings a little while later … the first baptism I ever did.

Why do many preachers insist that people publicly profess their faith in Christ twice …  once when they “walk the aisle” … and again when they get baptized?

Which is the biblical practice?

When I lived in Arizona, my wife and I attended a church that had a baptismal pool outside … and that pool got quite a workout.

They never had an altar call in church … they just kept pointing new converts to that pool as the biblical way to profess their faith in Christ publicly … and it worked beautifully.

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My first pastorate was at a small church in Silicon Valley.  The congregation was composed of refugees from other community churches.  We rented a school cafeteria for services.

Even with a map, few people could find the church.  With one exception, everybody who attended was already a believer.

And yet, church leaders wanted me to give an altar call at every service.  In fact, two leaders came to my house one Saturday night and begged me to do it.

Had I done so, I wouldn’t have lasted long.

When nobody came forward, the leaders would have reasoned, “God isn’t blessing Jim’s preaching.”

So to get results, I would have been forced to resort to manipulation … just to get someone … anyone … including that one unbeliever … to come forward.

A few years later, he did receive Christ … in God’s time and way.

It’s commendable for preachers to want people to come to faith in Christ.  Our preaching should be filled with passion.

But manipulation?

Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:2: “We have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God.  On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”

Let’s set forth the truth plainly in our preaching … and renounce all deception and distortion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hopscotch Preaching

Posted in Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on July 30, 2014| 2 Comments »

Several weeks ago, I visited a large church near my home.

The pastor was preaching through Ephesians.  His text for the morning was Ephesians 5:15-21.  Paul says in the famous verse 18, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.  Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”

The pastor stated: “I’m not going to talk about drinking,” and then proceeded to talk about being filled with the Spirit.

But there are two commands in that verse: “Don’t get drunk” and “be filled with the Spirit.”  Why ignore the one and expound the other?

(By the way, I know some people who attend that church, and their families need a clear word from God on the biblical use of alcohol.)

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m seeing a trend among many preachers that can be summed up this way:

“When I teach, I’m only going to deal with what is spiritual and ignore that which challenges people’s personal lives or today’s culture.  If I’m preaching through a passage, and Scripture forbids a practice that many in my congregation are doing, I’m just going to hopscotch over it and not deal with it.”

This makes me wonder: How many times do pastors in our day leapfrog over clear biblical prohibitions because they know that many in their congregations are engaging in that particular sin?

I’ll give you an example.  When is the last time you heard a pastor say that because the Bible teaches that God designed sex exclusively for a heterosexual marriage relationship, premarital sex and living together outside of marriage displease God?

Or when can you recall a pastor teach that Scripture forbids a believer from marrying an unbeliever?

Why is there such reluctance on the part of so many shepherds to preach against the sins that their sheep are actually committing?

My guess is that the pastor is afraid that:

*people won’t like him.

*people will give him critical feedback.

*people will leave the church or stop giving.

*he doesn’t know enough about those sins to say anything insightful.

*he might jeopardize his career and retirement.

But isn’t it part of a pastor’s calling to preach the whole counsel of God by warning people against sins that can destroy their lives, families, and relationships?

The father of the Protestant movement, Martin Luther, once said:

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point that the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ.  Where the battle rages is where the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is merely flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point.”

We need pastors in our day who preach truth with grace but don’t hopscotch over the tough issues.

And if we had more pastors like that, we’d have healthier families, churches, and communities.

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Five Mistakes in Contacting Pastoral References

Posted in Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on July 21, 2014| 2 Comments »

I’m constantly hearing about church leaders who are upset with their pastor … or their associate pastor … or their youth pastor.

And all too many of these leaders end up dumping the pastor or staff member unceremoniously.

Sometimes the pastor or staff member is responsible … while other times the employer/search team must shoulder their share of the blame.

Here are five mistakes I’ve seen pastors make (in hiring staff) and search teams make (in hiring pastors) when it comes to contacting their references:

First, occasionally a search team doesn’t contact any references at all.

I was once hired to be a full-time staff member in a church … and nobody checked my references.

Although the pastor had known me for years, the church board only knew me through him.  I wanted them to contact my references and to know my strengths and weaknesses … but it didn’t happen.

Why not?

Was it too much of a hassle?  Were certain people anxious to get me on board?  Or had I sold myself so well that nobody thought my references would matter?

To this day, I don’t really know … but this isn’t a wise policy.  Neither is the next mistake:

Second, sometimes an employer will contact a reference after already hiring someone.

I once hired a part-time youth pastor (let’s call him Bart) who did a good job.  When I offered Bart a full-time position, he laid out some demands that we couldn’t meet, and so we parted company amiably.

Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when I received a phone call from a pastor many states away.  The pastor told me that he had already hired Bart but still wanted to call his references.

To me, that’s like eloping with a woman and then asking her family and friends, “What kind of a person is she, anyway?”

After the pastor hired Bart, he told me that he sensed Bart had a problem with a certain issue … and that issue must have affected Bart’s employment, because he didn’t last a year.

No pastor or search team should ever be in such a rush that they fail to contact a prospect’s references before hiring them!

Third, sometimes an employer fails to ask one or two more tough questions before ending the interview.

A church I served as pastor once went through a long, protracted process in trying to hire a youth pastor.

We reviewed scores of resumes.  We narrowed the field down to a handful of candidates.  We brought many of them in … but nobody was a fit.

And then we found him.  Outwardly, Frank was everything the search team, parents, and youth were looking for.  We were thrilled!

I remember speaking to Frank’s supervisor at the church where he was still employed.  I asked some tough questions … but for some reason, I backed off just when I needed to accelerate.

We hired Frank, but a year later, his behavior was driving me crazy.  I called Frank’s former supervisor and asked him the questions I should have asked a year earlier … and found out something very disturbing.

Frank’s supervisor only told me great things about Frank a year earlier because he wanted us to hire Frank so he could get rid of him.

Our church was so anxious to hire a youth pastor that we settled on someone we shouldn’t have hired.

When you’re looking to call a pastor or a staff member for a reference, do your best to ask the hard questions or you may pay for it down the line.

Fourth, some churches don’t do a criminal background check or a credit check.

I’ve heard about churches that don’t insist on either one of these checks … but they usually regret it later on.

One time, I interviewed a prospect for a staff position, and I was blessed to have a copy of his driving record in front of me.

Within a short amount of time, he had recently received five speeding tickets.  Five.

I asked him about the tickets.  He said that he was in a Christian leadership program and was consistently late for class.

I drew some quick conclusions:

*This guy doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes.  He keeps repeating them.

*Why didn’t he alter his behavior?  Get up earlier?  Drive the speed limit?  Avoid the traps?

*To what extent could I let him drive young people around?  What would happen if we hired him and he got into an accident with youth in his car?

Needless to say, we didn’t hire him.

It’s crucial to complete a credit history, too, because the way a staff member manages their personal finances is the way they’ll manage church money.

Finally, in many cases it’s foolish not to contact a staff member’s former supervisor.

I’ve learned that after many staff members leave a church, they won’t list their previous supervisor as a reference.

Maybe the staff member resigned under pressure … or was fired outright … or didn’t get along with their supervisor (usually the pastor).

So it’s understandable that many staff members don’t list their previous supervisor as a reference … but a prospective employer should speak with them anyway … because sometimes only the supervisor and a handful of others know the real truth about that individual.

What if a pastor or staff prospect stole church funds … or slept around … or consistently lied … or resolved conflict with his fists … or harmed children or youth?

There may be legal repercussions if a former supervisor handles specific questions in an unwise fashion, although there are ways to answer questions without being too direct.

But as a Christian leader, I believe in giving people … even former pastors or staff members … second chances.

I’ve certainly needed a second chance in my own life.  For example, during my freshman year at a Christian college, I flunked my Christian service assignment … yet went on to spend 36 years in church ministry.

So just because a worker … volunteer or paid … made some mistakes or errors in judgment does not indicate they’re irredeemable.

For that reason, if someone calls me for a reference, I’ll focus on all that’s good about that person … and will all I do to help them get another job.

But … if their character is warped … especially if they aren’t forthcoming about past mistakes … that’s a different matter.

Several times, I’ve heard about an ex-staff member who was hired by another church and yet no one ever contacted me as their former supervisor.

And I’ve thought to myself, “If they didn’t contact me, who did they contact?  Who would know more about the way they performed at our church than me?”

While I’ve learned a lot about ministry references over the years, I still find it a tricky topic to master.

What are your thoughts and experiences concerning pastoral references?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do You Always Have to be Right?

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on July 7, 2014| 8 Comments »

Do you always have to be right?

I know the temptation all too well.

In my first pastorate, I visited shut-ins, and one day, I visited Cecil and Freda.

Due to their age, they rarely came to church, and Cecil told me that he said the Lord’s Prayer every day.  But he had a bone to pick with me.

Cecil said that when I read or said the Lord’s Prayer, I said, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  But Cecil wanted me to know that it was really in earth as it is in heaven, not on earth.

I took out my pocket New Testament, and Matthew 6:10 said “on earth,” not “in earth.”  (When in doubt, let Scripture decide.)

But doggone it, Cecil had been saying the Lord’s Prayer for many years, and he was saying it the right way, and everybody else – even Bible translators and his pastor – were wrong.

What can a young pastor do?  I just smiled and changed the subject.

In that instance, I was wise.  But on another occasion, I was anything but.

I once visited a newly-married couple in their home after they had visited our church the previous Sunday.

While we were chatting, the woman blurted out, “But all sins are equal in God’s eyes, right?”

I should have let it go … I should have let it go … but I didn’t.

I gently explained what I believe Scripture teaches: that any and every sin will condemn us before a holy God, but that some sins are definitely worse than others in this life.  (For example, uncontrolled anger and murder are both sins, but murder is far worse than uncontrolled anger.)

But this couple had come from a church background where they had heard the phrase “all sins are the same before God” and my little two-minute explanation wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

They never came back to the church … and I needed to learn that I didn’t always have to be right.

How many conflicts in this world occur because people insist that they’re right and the other party is wrong?

How about Israel and the Palestinians?

How about Democrats and Republicans?

How about creationists and evolutionists … or global warning proponents and skeptics … or those who welcome illegal immigrants and those who don’t?

In the same way, many conflicts in churches occur because some people … even pastors and church leaders … have to be right all the time.

They have to be right about every nuance of theology … the proper interpretation of tough passages … the color of the nursery … and how long the pastor preaches.

And even when they violate Scripture, they still insist they’re right … and that those who disagree with them are wrong.

But Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 8:1, “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.”

You can know a lot … and be right nearly all of the time … and yet do it all with a prideful heart … and so be very much wrong.

Let me offer three thoughts about “being right”:

First, it’s right to take and present a position.

My wife recently did some redecorating for her home preschool.  She asked me what I thought.  I told her what I really felt … once.

She listened … countered with a few ideas of her own … and that was that.

I stated my position and then dropped the matter.  Since it’s her preschool, she needs to make the final decision.

There would be far fewer conflicts in churches if churchgoers treated pastors the same way.

For example, let’s say you don’t like a change in the worship service.

It’s all right to feel the way you do … and to tell your pastor how you feel … but then let the issue go.

Trust that he will make the right call, even if it takes a while.  You had your say … but must you have your way?

Second, learn who you can argue with … and who you can’t.

I like to argue, to test my positions and learn how other people think.  Ultimately, I’m after Truth with a capital “T.”

I try to argue without being argumentative, but sometimes, that doesn’t work out.

My wife and I were once invited by a friend and his wife to a dinner honoring various kinds of ministry chaplains.

While sitting at dinner, I made a comment about abortion, assuming the person sitting next to me would agree with my position.

He didn’t.

We quickly got into a verbal exchange … all because I didn’t yet know who he was.

If you know someone who loves a friendly argument, by all means, go at it … just so you remain friends afterwards.  Jesus certainly argued with both His disciples and His enemies a lot.

But if you’re around someone who doesn’t like to argue … let it go!

And my guess is that the vast majority of people do not like to argue.

Finally, realize that everybody is wrong at times … even you.

Last Saturday, my wife and our daughter and I visited San Diego.

I suggested that we visit the collection of shops and restaurants known as Seaside Village.

My wife gently called it Seaport Village.

I said, “No, I think it’s Seaside Village” … but then I wondered, “What if she’s right?”

When we walked up to the village, it was Seaport Village all right.

Because I didn’t make a big deal about the name, my wife and daughter let it slide.

But if I had said, “I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I’m right,” they wouldn’t have let me forget it all weekend.

When we know we’ve been wrong in the past, that knowledge should give us humility the next time that we’re positive we’re right.

But when we always insist that we’re right, we alienate our loved ones and people stay away from us.

In U2’s song Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own, Bono sings to his dying father, “You don’t have to put up a fight, you don’t have to always be right …”

If Christians would memorize and practice those lyrics, we’d have fewer conflicts and more far peace in our churches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Four Ways to Encourage Preaching Feedback

Posted in Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on July 2, 2014| 2 Comments »

I believe there is something wrong with the preaching in most Christian churches today.

The problem isn’t the setting.  Most worship centers make it easy to see and hear the pastor … often with video enhancement.

The problem isn’t the source material.  Scripture is spiritually rewarding, intellectually challenging, relationally practical, and emotionally fulfilling.

The problem isn’t with theology.  Most pastors know what they believe and why they believe it.

The problem isn’t the pastor per se.  Most pastors possess fine stage presence, connect well with their congregations, and are good communicators.

No, in my mind, the problem is this:

Preaching has become a monologue.

Last Sunday, I attended a megachurch nearby.

I thought the pastor’s message was very good.  He taught verse by verse … told some great stories … and tended to view the world as I do, since we’re roughly the same age.

But after he was done preaching, I had some questions about his message.

But how and when could I ask them?

The services weren’t designed for congregational interaction.  The first service started at 8:00 am … the second was at 9:45 … and the last one was at 11:30.

Since the pastor had to preach three times, there wasn’t any time for questions.  I understand that.

But if I sent him an email during the week, what were the chances that I’d even reach him?  I once tried contacting a megachurch pastor online and had to fill out a form beforehand … and he never wrote me back.

I guess what’s bothering me … and I’ve felt this way for nearly 30 years … is that most people don’t learn very much by listening to a monologue.

For example, I once heard former President Bill Clinton speak at an event after he was out of office, and five minutes later, I couldn’t remember a thing he said.

This is one reason why some pastors include a sermon outline in the bulletin … sometimes using fill-in-the-blanks … because “impression without expression leads to depression.”

And some churches feel they’ve resolved this problem by offering small groups during the week that discuss the pastor’s sermon … but let’s be honest, you’re still not speaking to the pastor directly.

But what if a pastor brings a message on a topic and you:

*disagree strongly with his viewpoint?

*think he’s completely missed the point of a passage?

*would like him to clarify something he said?

*want him to elaborate on an issue a little bit more?

*are struggling to find the relevancy of his sermon?

Let me offer four ideas to encourage more feedback between pastors and their hearers:

First, set up microphones in the aisles and let the pastor answer questions for 10-15 minutes after his message.

This was the custom of a famous pastor in London for many years.  After he was done speaking, he allowed people to ask him questions in public.

This is certainly biblical.

In John 8, Jesus does something similar in the temple courts in Jerusalem.  He says, “I am the light of the world.”  The Pharisees challenge him.  Jesus responds.  They ask him a question.  They mumble to themselves.  Jesus answers.  They ask Him another question.  Jesus answers … offers a clarification …  and then John says, “Even as he spoke, many put their faith in him.”

Whether this practice is done weekly or monthly, it would certainly arouse congregational interest.

Yes, the pastor might have to cut his message a little shorter, but what’s wrong with that?

I tried this once while preaching on “the new atheists,” and received a great response … and I absolutely loved it myself.

Second, let people text questions to someone who chooses several questions and displays them on a video screen.

While the pastor is preaching, listeners can text questions to a central location.  A very wise individual … maybe an associate pastor or staff member …  then chooses 3-5 questions … inputs them into the church’s software … and throws them up on the screen when the pastor is done speaking.

This is something that I wanted to do in my last ministry.  I’m sure there’s a way to do it, but we just couldn’t figure it out.

But this approach uses technology … keeps people interested … and forces the pastor to clarify, defend, or expand on his remarks after he speaks.

Third, the pastor announces an upcoming topic and asks people to write down their questions about that issue.

Let’s say that I’m going to be preaching on raising children in two weeks.  I’d tell the congregation, “If you have questions about raising kids, please write them on your communication/response card today and next Sunday.  I’ll choose as many questions as possible and answer them two weeks from today.”

I did this with messages on marriage, forgiveness, and heaven, and found that my preparation time was cut in half …  but the interest in those topics was sky-high because the congregation determined the topics.

On those occasions when I did this, it was always for the last message in a series.  I wanted God’s people to let me know what they were thinking and feeling.

Finally, consider having a forum over issues of national importance.

When the scandal involving President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky broke in 1998, I was living in Arizona.

Millions of Americans were riveted to their TV screens, not just because of the scandal, but because we didn’t know how to think about it.

Some of the President’s defenders said, “This is just about sex.  It’s no big deal.”

Others said, “But the President has repeatedly lied to the American people and refuses to tell the truth.  Should he resign?  Be impeached?”

People were throwing Bible verses around like “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  We were told, “Let’s just forgive the President and move on.”

For the average American … and the average Christian … it was all very confusing.

A church two miles from my house … one of America’s top ten largest churches at the time … decided to hit the issue head on.

They put together a panel of experts and asked them to share their views from a biblical perspective.  As I recall, the congregation was allowed to ask them questions during Sunday services.

While I loved this idea … realizing that it scares the daylights out of others … at least that church was being relevant and letting people offer feedback.

I believe in preaching.  I believe in one man holding a Bible and saying, “This is what God says in His Word.”

It’s a powerful way to communicate … but it’s not the only way to communicate.

So from time-to-time, why can’t pastors present God’s Word and then let people ask questions?

This is just my opinion … but I think people would flock to a church that offered feedback.

What do you think about my ideas?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Using Love and Power During Conflict

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on June 23, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Every day in our culture, we hear about people who try and resolve their conflicts by using power:

*They stand in front of microphones and condemn their opponents.

*They threaten to boycott a product or a company.

*They pass resolutions criticizing a leader they don’t like.

*They even pick up guns and join an army.

These tactics have been used and abused for hundreds of years … but they’re increasingly creeping into Christian churches.

Examples:

*A faction threatens to leave their church unless the pastor does its bidding.

*A woman demands that a staff member apologize to her for a remark he made.

*A pastor emphatically states that he’ll resign unless the church board agrees with him on an issue.

*A member promises to withhold her giving as long as the youth pastor is still employed by the church.

In my view, many churchgoers … especially leaders … go to power way too soon in a conflict.

What should they do instead?

Try love.

Whenever there’s a conflict, go to love first … and only use power last.

When Jesus came to earth the first time, He came in love … as a baby.

He became human.  He gave up “the independent exercise of His divine attributes.”  He listened to people and hurt with them and restored them.

Yes, He became ticked at the Pharisees, but He didn’t destroy them.  Instead, He tried to shake them out of their complacency by telling them the truth.

He didn’t force people to receive Him as Messiah.  He gave them evidence and let them choose.

Even though Jesus had access to power on earth, He never used any power on Himself, but only to help others.

Even while being mocked on the cross, Jesus chose not to use power to retaliate against His enemies.

When Jesus came the first time, He came in love.

But when He comes the second time, He will come in power.

He will ride a white horse … brandish a sword … wear many crowns … make war against God’s enemies … and reveal Himself as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

He will impose His will upon the people of this planet and force them to say and do things they don’t want to do: “every knee will bow, every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord.”

Personally, I can’t wait for that day … but it ‘s not here yet.

I believe the pattern of Jesus’ two comings provides today’s Christians with an outstanding example.

When you’re engaged in a conflict with a leader or a group or your pastor … use love first … and power last.

Most church conflicts are resolvable when both sides use love … demonstrated by listening, understanding, kindness, compassion, and choice.

But some people become anxious … just wanting the conflict to end … and so they take a shortcut and resort to power … demonstrated by monologues, manipulation, rudeness, heartlessness, and imposition.

And when they do, they make that conflict far more resistant to resolution.

Example 1: a pastor wants the worship director to stop using a certain female vocalist because she’s living immorally.

If the pastor uses love, he’ll ask the worship director kindly but firmly to remove her until her life turns around.  This will keep the conflict at a low level.

But if the pastor uses power, he might threaten to fire the worship director unless he removes her immediately.  This will cause the worship director to respond in kind and matters may quickly escalate.

Example 2: the church board wants the pastor to give them a written report of his activities at their monthly meeting.

If the board uses love, they’ll ask the pastor for the report and explain why they’d like to have it.

If the board uses power, they’ll demand that he issue that report or they’ll all resign.

Suddenly, a low-level conflict may spiral out of control.

There are times when those in leadership positions – especially pastors and church boards – need to use their God-given authority to make decisions.

But some Christian leaders tend to bypass the love route altogether and go straight to power … and when they do, they escalate matters exponentially.

I once did a word study on the words “threat” and “threaten” in the Bible.  I couldn’t find a single instance where those words were used in a positive context.

God doesn’t want His people characterized by the power tactics of our world.  He wants us to be characterized by love in all its forms.

Did Jesus say, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you impose your will on people and threaten them?”

No, He said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Let us be known by our love … even in the midst of conflict … and only use power if God has given us that right through Scripture and if His Spirit is leading us to use it.

Are you currently involved in a conflict situation at your church?

Use love first … and only go to power when it’s clear that love can’t work.

If all Christians did that, we’d resolve most conflicts … and the world would pay more attention to the gospel.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Key to Growing a Church

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 17, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Four decades ago, I visited a church near my home to hear a famous theologian speak.

The church had recently called a new pastor, and he eventually became a household name among Christians worldwide.

A friend of mine attended that church, and years later, he told me that their leaders had conducted a study of their new members.

The result?  98% of their new members came from other area churches.

Years later, I attended a major Bible conference, and that famous pastor did a two-hour question-and-answer session.

Someone asked him, “What is your church doing in the area of evangelism?”

His response?  “That’s the next thing we’re going to look at.”

He had been senior pastor of that church for 15 years.

Something troubled me about his answer.

He was a Bible teacher par excellence, and while he was now leading a megachurch, the newcomers flocking to his ministry were almost exclusively believers from other congregations.

I once heard him say that he wasn’t trying to steal sheep from other churches, but his mission field seemed confined to nearby assemblies, which caused resentment among smaller church pastors.

As I learned in seminary, there are three ways a church grows:

*biological growth (the children of Christian parents receive Christ and stay in the church)

*transfer growth (the church expects they will attract new residents and believers from other churches)

*conversion growth (the church deliberately tries to reach spiritually lost people for Christ)

Most churches in America are growing because they attract dissatisfied believers from other congregations … but that’s never been Jesus’ design for His church.

Jesus’ Great Commission is presented in all Four Gospels and in Acts 1:8.  The best-known version is found in Matthew 28:19-20, where Jesus tells His disciples:

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

There is one command in these verses: make disciples, which begins by winning lost people to Jesus Christ.

Jesus doesn’t say:

“Make better believers of the already convinced.”

“Make members on a quarterly basis.”

“Make as many Baptists as you can.”

No, His first priority for His church in these verses is evangelism … making disciples of all nations … which starts with a church’s own community.

But in most churches … as was the case with that famous megachurch pastor … evangelism ranks dead last among church activities.  In what sense can such churches claim they are carrying out Jesus’ final orders?

I’ve discovered that churches that are serious about reaching their community do the following five things:

First, the pastor preaches from Scripture about issues that people care about.

I once preached through 2 Chronicles and began emptying out the church.  While I find that book fascinating, most people don’t.

What do people care about?  Their marriage … kids … health … job … finances … emotions … and future, for starters.

It’s easy to ask your neighbor or co-worker to church when the topic is marriage or raising kids.  It’s nearly impossible when the pastor is stuck in 2 Chronicles 12.

Since there are very few outstanding Bible expositors around, it’s better for most pastors to preach like Jesus did: topically.  (Jesus never did an exposition of any Bible book, but He sure quoted a lot of Old Testament verses.)

Second, the church makes sure that newcomers have a great worship experience.

My friend Gary McIntosh says that guests make 11 decisions about a church in the first 30 seconds.

If those first 30 seconds are great, the music, preaching, and after-service experience still need to be positive for people to return.

But if those first 30 seconds are uncomfortable or offensive, people rarely will return.  Churches only have one chance to make a great impression.

My wife and I once visited a church and were forced to stand outside the church doors for 10 minutes while they held a baptism.

We never went back.

Third, after several visits, guests are invited to join small groups and serve in entry-level ministries.

There’s a guaranteed way to keep people from becoming involved in your church: don’t invite them to anything.

The people in outreach-oriented churches personally invite family, friends, and co-workers to small groups and ministries.

Those in inwardly-focused churches don’t invite people because they’re thinking, “That’s my group … that’s my ministry … and those are my friends.”

Share your group and your ministry, and your church may grow.  Hog it, and it won’t.

Fourth, the church creates services and activities that appeal to unbelievers and believers alike.

When God’s people know that their worship services are consistently great, it’s natural for them to invite newcomers along.

And when God’s people know that an outreach activity will be done first class, they will definitely invite unbelievers from their network to attend.

I found that if a service or event was designed for unbelievers, our church worked much harder on it than if it was just for Christians.

I once oversaw an outreach event that featured a Christian illusionist.  We were forced to think and plan big, but the place was packed, and many people prayed to receive Christ that night.

Finally, the church reflects their outreach orientation in their mindset, staffing, budget, and ministries.

Mindset = the entire congregation is trained to invite people from their social networks as well as greet the newcomers around them at services.

Staffing = the church employs at least one person who is focused on outreach.

Budget = the church sets aside as much money as they can to reach their community for Christ.

Ministries = the church offers specific ministries for those who don’t yet know Christ.

I’ve visited scores of churches over the past few years and I can tell you this:

You can sense whether a church is outreach-oriented or inreach-oriented within the first few minutes.

How well is your church fulfilling Christ’s Great Commission?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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