In his book Clergy Killers, Dr. Lloyd Rediger writes about the phenomenon of church members who attack their pastor with the intent of destroying him. While many (if not most) Christians have never met someone like that, let me assure you that these kinds of people are sprinkled throughout the Christian community. (I have met more than my share.) They are usually people with deep-seated personality disorders.
But Dr. Rediger writes about “killer clergy” as well, and although there are far more “clergy killers” than “killer clergy,” there are pastors who inflict damage on their churches. In my last article, I mentioned pastors who are narcissistic, overfunctioning, lazy, non-attentive, and too nice as examples of the kinds of leaders who can cause trouble in a church.
If you attend a church where you suspect that a pastor is causing trouble, what can you do?
It all depends on what we mean by “causing trouble.”
1 Timothy 5:19-21 gives a congregation and its leaders the right to correct an elder (or a pastor; see verses 17-18) if he sins in such a way that he dishonors the Lord or harms Christ’s church. Please note that this passage deals with acts of sin. It does not cover:
*a pastor’s personality. Although they are definitely in the minority, a small percentage of pastors can be thoughtless, obnoxious, rude, dominating, or insensitive. I have met a few of them, and maybe you have, too. I’m always amazed at how some pastors are able to stay in the ministry with such glaring personal weaknesses, but this is not the kind of behavior that Paul is talking about in 1 Timothy. In fact, Paul himself could be rather rude and insensitive at times. (Read Galatians 1:8-9 and 5:12 in case you’ve forgotten.) If a pastor occasionally displays his unattractive side, you may choose to avoid being close to him or serving alongside him, but that doesn’t mean he’s violating 1 Timothy 5:19-21 and should be disciplined or terminated.
*a pastor’s style. I have seen a huge change in pastoral leadership style since I was in seminary. I was trained by scholars and pastors from the builder generation. These professors passionately taught God’s Word and believed strongly in biblical accuracy, yet they themselves were usually modest individuals. But much of that has changed today. Many of today’s pastors pride themselves on knowing the culture more than the Bible (and I am not exaggerating). They refer to the Bible while teaching but do not necessarily expound it. And many of today’s pastors are publicly brash rather than humble. When it comes to change, they won’t wait a year or two to get to know the people and the community (like we were taught to do) – they’ll institute changes during their first year that pastors from previous generations wouldn’t institute until years later. Given the fact that our culture is increasingly secular, and that Generation X is largely unreached, maybe we do need to accelerate the pace of change in our churches today. But should a pastor be attacked or destroyed because he has a different leadership style than another pastor? 1 Timothy 5:19-21 refers to clear-cut sin, not a pastor’s leadership style.
*a pastor’s liberty. When I was in seminary, we students were expected to limit the use of our Christian liberty. The implication was that we did not want to cause another believer to stumble by emulating our lifestyle. So many students were careful about the movies they saw (if any), some did not drink any alcohol, and some only listened to Christian music. These particular behaviors may have been frowned upon because some of the seminary higher-ups didn’t engage in these activities or because many older people in our churches didn’t either. We pastors were expected to be distinctive from the culture so we modeled a Christlike life. But all of that has changed today. Today’s Christian leaders enjoy their liberty to the hilt. They not only see movies, they feel comfortable seeing anything and everything. They not only drink, they revel in it. And they feel comfortable listening to any kind of music or watching any TV program that’s out there. Several years ago, a seminary professor friend told me that incoming students are now required to take a course on morality because they don’t know right from wrong. I’ve felt for a long time that some boomer pastors and many buster leaders value being cool over being godly. While some of today’s pastors may have gone too far in enjoying their liberty, Paul isn’t referring to such behavior in this passage. Just as some Christians could eat meat sacrificed to idols and some could not, so in our day some pastors feel uncomfortable engaging in certain practices while others have no problem with it. Much of it is just generational.
(This reminds me of a story. Four years ago, Kim and I visited Moldova, the poorest country in Europe. We stayed in the home of a pastor and his wife in a small village, and although we talked with them a lot, it was mostly about missional and churchy matters. On our last night there, I happened to mention to the couple that I had brought along an iPod with a lot of songs on it, and the missionary told me he had once been in the US and had heard a song by Creedence Clearwater Revival called “Long As I Can See the Light.” He wondered if I had the song on my iPod. As it turns out, I did. When I played it for him, he was in seventh heaven. I left the iPod with him and his wife along with some Logitech speakers. When we returned to their village three years later, that iPod (Classic) was still working and provided the music for the church’s pizza parlor – but somebody had added Tammy Wynette songs to it! I assure you – I didn’t do it!)
If a church is run like a business, its leaders/members can discipline or terminate a pastor for any reason, including the fact that someone doesn’t like his personality, style, or liberal use of Christian liberty. But if a church is to be run on the basis of the New Testament, its leaders/members should only discipline or terminate a pastor for violating Scripture. His personality, leadership style, and Christian liberty may be discussed at different times and eventually negotiated, but he should not be immediately dismissed because he’s just being himself.
When Paul writes that “those who sin are to be rebuked publicly,” what kinds of “sin” does he have in mind?
I believe that Paul is referring to a clear violation of a biblical directive. Pastors should not commit homicide, or engage in sexual sin outside marriage, or steal from the offering plate (or anywhere else), or lie about matters. They must believe in the basics of the Christian faith (like the authority of Scripture, the deity of Christ, Jesus’ death and resurrection) and teach the gospel to believers and unbelievers alike. Based on New Testament teaching, I would say the two primary sin categories that apply in this passage are immorality and heresy. (And, once again, not a pastor’s personality, style, or liberty.) Paul writes that pastors/elders “who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning” (1 Timothy 5:20). I will talk about how this is to be done in my next blog.
Thanks for reading!
Unfortunately, there are definitely pastors who inflict harm upon their congregation. Most times it isn’t intentional, but today’s churches are full of wounded people. There has also been a mass exodus out of the church because of these types of hurts. It’s not an easy thing, to bring attention to these kinds of behaviors, but they do need to come to light if they are going to be corrected.
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Yes, there are pastors who hurt people in their churches, sometimes intentionally, but usually unintentionally. When a pastor hurts someone, he usually doesn’t realize that he’s done it unless the person he wounded tells him. I plan on going into churches and teaching people how to give feedback to their pastors and leaders so we can open up a dialogue about these issues. Thanks for writing!
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Our church Pastor doesn’t. take suggestions. She cancels bible studies or cell groups most of the time. She does not disciple what she calls church remnants ( members who remained from the previous church which split)) She practices one-man-band system. I pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal to her the truth on church administration. As one of the Lead worshippers , I feel a mere dummy. It’s so struggling. But it’s God I serve not man. Please pray for my pastor
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Hi Nelly,
I tried writing you a few nights ago, but my computer started doing some weird things … so let me try again.
I’m sorry to hear about your pastor. The body of Christ was designed by God so that every member uses their gift(s) to build up the entire church. If you pastor is doing everything herself, she is going against the New Testament teaching.
Sometimes pastors … due to their education or experience … mistakenly believe they can do anything and everything in a church better than anyone else. Even if this is true, though, they need to identify potential leaders and train them to do the ministry … just like Jesus did.
Too many pastors in our day don’t take suggestions, viewing them as criticisms instead. But only Jesus was perfect, and pastors need people around them who see things they don’t see and hear things they don’t hear. As long as suggestions are offered in love, any pastor should be glad to hear them.
I will pray for your pastor, Nelly, and for you. May God give you the patience to pray for your pastor, to support her every chance you get, and to love her in spite of her imperfections.
Jim
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my challenge is to fraternally correct a pastor who through his personality and perhaps, his position of authority verbally abuses his wife even in front of church members who advises her (my sister) to fight back or defend herself. I am a community teacher in a covenant community here in Vancouver BC. I have taught FRATERNAL CORRECTION. teach me and pray with me as to how to handle this problem in love.
luz lopezdee
BUKAS LOOB SA DIYOS COVENANT COMMUNITY
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I don’t know how I missed your comment, so to begin, please forgive me.
According to Matthew 18:15-17, here are the steps I would take:
First, document in writing several instances of abuse that you have witnessed yourself. This includes dates, times, and what was said.
Second, ask the Lord when and where you should confront the pastor. Remember the warning in Galatians 6:1!
Third, contact the pastor and ask him for an appointment. He may want to know what the appointment is about. Just tell him it’s something you’d rather share with him privately.
Fourth, sit down with the pastor face-to-face. It’s okay to be nervous. It helps if he knows it isn’t easy for you to talk with him.
Fifth, adopt a loving and gentle tone. Don’t get angry. Don’t fight a dragon by becoming a dragon.
Sixth, tell him that in your opinion … from what you have observed … that you do not like the way he speaks to his wife in public. This is where you could give him several examples. Be courageous and speak the truth, even if he disagrees with you or tries to interrupt you.
Seventh, take your cues from his attitude. If he starts crying, that’s a good sign. If he becomes angry and has a “how dare you speak to the pastor that way!” attitude, that’s not a good sign.
Eighth, if he confesses his wrongdoing, ask him to ask his wife for forgiveness. Whether or not he confesses, tell him you will be watching his interactions with his wife closely from now on.
Ninth, tell him that abuse is a serious matter, and that if he keeps it up, it could end his marriage and his ministry. You have to make this point.
Finally, if he responds well, verify that he’s going to stop the abuse. If he doesn’t respond well, take one or two more people with you … as Jesus says in Matthew 18:15-17 … and confront the pastor again.
Do not involve the pastor’s wife. He’ll just go home and yell at her or hit her.
If you lovingly confront the pastor, you’re taking a big risk. He may begin to badmouth you inside the church. He may slander you to others.
For that reason, I suggest you write out what you’re going to do and say before you contact the pastor. If the pastor starts to badmouth you, share what you’re written with a few key people inside the church.
The main point I want to make is that YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM AND LOVING THROUGHOUT ANY CONFRONTATION. If you get angry, the pastor has won, and you and your cause have lost.
Most of the time, men who abuse their wives in public will not stop what they are doing. Whatever he is doing in public is probably magnified when they are at home. I suggest that you think about contacting a Christian women’s shelter near you in case the pastor’s abuse toward his wife becomes physical as well as verbal.
God bless you as you seek to follow Christ!
Jim
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