It was one of those moments you never forget.
I was sitting in the office of our new pastor when suddenly, the phone rang.
The pastor took the call. It would change both of our lives forever.
Several leaders in our church – including people who had taught me the Bible – were caught in behavior unbecoming of spiritual leaders.
And these leaders were prominent in our fellowship.
Because I stayed in the room, I could tell by the pastor’s conversation that this was serious stuff.
And it was even more serious when I learned the names of the people involved.
I didn’t want to know anything … but it was unavoidable.
And I was only 19 at the time.
This revelation shook me up. People I had put on a pedestal weren’t the angels I thought they were.
That night, I went with the pastor to visit people in their homes. As we discussed the events of that morning, he told me something I’ve never forgotten:
“Jim, don’t ever be shocked by what Christians do.”
That was my baptism into the inner circle of church life.
The inner circle of a church is composed of the pastor, staff members, and key leaders who know what’s going on and make decisions that influence church life.
After being in the inner circle of eight churches over 35 years of ministry, I’ve come to four conclusions about that circle:
First, the inner circle deals with the back side of church life.
When I was a kid, there was a piece of wood that was used for home plate whenever we played baseball in our driveway. I kept the wood on the side of our house. The wood looked great on its surface, but when I turned it over, the back side was full of bugs.
Churches can look like that, too.
It’s not that staff members are partying or board members are swearing at each other. It’s more subtle than that.
It’s that people who appear to be Christians on Sunday may act like secular people behind the scenes.
I’ve known leaders to make threats. A few have used passive aggressive tactics.
Some have agreed to a decision in a board meeting and then sabotaged the decision in the parking lot afterwards.
Most people who serve in the IC are right-on believers, but life in the IC can become stressful.
You have to be called to serve in that IC … and refuse to be shocked by what you see and hear.
Second, the inner circle is composed of humans, not saints. My first few years in church ministry, I wanted to believe that my pastor and board members were truly saints of God.
And then I got to know them.
And the more I got to know them, the more I discovered how human they really were.
And the more human they were, the more I liked them.
When I discovered that a leader liked baseball, or a movie I enjoyed, then we shared something in common that we could discuss whenever we saw each other.
But I was shocked at times by how non-human some leaders seemed because they tried to give the impression that they were perfect.
I always had trouble with those leaders. In fact, most of the leaders I’ve had trouble with over the years never admitted that they did anything wrong.
The human ones were comfortable being authentic. The inhuman ones tried to act angelic.
That’s one of the benefits of reading Christian biographies. You find that people you admire are human … just like you.
A veteran Christian leader recently told me that the key to God’s blessing in a church is when the leaders become real with each other.
He may be right.
Third, the inner circle sometimes makes decisions in a messy manner.
My first-ever job was in a butcher’s shop. I had to go into a closet and clean out the machine where hamburger was made.
Believe me, you don’t want to see how hamburger is made.
And you might not want to see how decisions are made in a church, either.
Some people think a pastor comes to a board meeting, makes a proposal, everyone nods their heads, and the decision sails through.
But reality is far different than that.
I’ve brought proposals to a board meeting that I thought would be approved in five minutes … and one hour later, the board was still haggling about it.
Not arguing … just haggling.
Some people can handle it. Others cannot. Those who cannot should probably serve elsewhere.
But those God calls into the IC gradually accept that decision making can be messy.
It’s the price we pay for letting a multiplicity of leaders manage a church.
Finally, the inner circle tests all who are in it.
A friend of mine sits on the board of a prominent church. He told me recently that his pastor receives scores of critical notes about his preaching every single week.
My friend believes in his pastor and in his church’s mission … but it’s obvious that not everyone does.
If you sit in the back of a church sanctuary on Sundays, you’d never know about all the stuff that’s going on behind the scenes.
And in a healthy church, you never will.
By contrast, the Four Gospels give us glimpses into Jesus’ IC.
There were events that only The Twelve knew about … like Peter trying to walk on the water.
And there were conversations that only Peter, James and John heard … like Jesus’ prayers in Gethsemane.
I must confess, when I first read the Gospels, I was shocked by much of what happened in Jesus’ IC.
But as I grew in my faith, I came to realize this one crucial truth:
God only uses imperfect people.
And that includes the IC at your church, too.
If you’re in the IC, loosen up a bit. Be authentic rather than legalistic.
And if you’re not in the IC, pray for those who are.
Because they represent you.
I must admit being in the IC is not easy and it is very messy. I am glad that I had God’s help and wisdom serving in the IC. Without his help and wisdom I would probably be disillusioned with the church. We need to pray for those who are in the IC and careful to judge.
LikeLike
Probably the most difficult part of being in the IC is that you learn that some people in the church aren’t who you thought they were. It takes great fortitude to continue to serve the Lord when you’ve been disillusioned. You’ve always done that well!
LikeLike
I agree its very messy and once you become one 0f the IF suddenly people change 😑💔
LikeLike
Thanks for your comment! One great thing about being part of the Inner Circle at church is that it forces you to stay in great spiritual shape. God bless you as you serve!
Jim
LikeLike
Indeed. Christians are just humans who have been forgiven. But we have been called to a higher standard than unbelievers! We need to remember that our lives reflect the One who died for us. I know that many times I like to ask people this question to get them thinking: “Would you do that if Jesus was sitting right beside you?” Most times, people had never thought of it that way and it helps them to re-think some of the things they say and do.
David is one of my favorite Bible people. He made some awful choices and big mistakes, but he always repented when God brought them to his attention. Keep your eyes on God and stay strong in Him!
LikeLike
Thanks, Curt, for that great reminder! And I agree with you about the higher standard. Let’s just make sure that we don’t expect perfection from our leaders – which makes them act one way in public and another way in private – and that we allow them to be human beings. Jesus was hungry, thirsty, tired, frustrated, depressed, and hurt – all human responses to life’s difficulties – and yet He never sinned. But today, too many Christians expect a pastor or church leader to be omnicompetent when he or she cannot be that way. Thanks for reading!
LikeLike