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Fingering Church Powerbrokers

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Fighting Evil, Jim's Ten Favorite Articles on June 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

My pastor was under attack.

He couldn’t sleep.  He couldn’t study.  His personality turned inward.

He was a wreck.

Why?

Years ago, in my third church staff position, a small group of vocal members began to criticize the church’s pastor … who was also my supervisor.

Their main claim?  That he didn’t preach often enough, an indication that he was lazy.

35 years ago, many Protestant churches had:

*Sunday School

*Sunday morning worship

*Sunday evening service (with youth group meetings before or after)

*Wednesday night prayer meeting

That’s a lot of teaching time to fill!

My pastor’s main gift was shepherding – not teaching – so he utilized a team of teachers on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights.  I was happy with the arrangement because I enjoyed hearing others speak … and because I got to speak once a month as well.

I can’t recall what set off the grumbling, but many of us started feeling heightened anxiety around the church campus.  One night, someone caught me in the parking lot and told me that 10% of the church was going to leave if the pastor didn’t start preaching on Sunday nights.

Now what would you do with that information?

Some Christians would keep it to themselves.

Some would tell family and friends from the church.

Some would throw in their lot with the 10%.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to do.

I had a friend in the church – a man who went on to become an evangelist – and he and I discussed the situation.  We decided to visit the most influential man in the church … a layman known for his teaching, integrity, and straight talk.

My friend and I sat in his living room and said something like this, “There are people in this church who are attacking the pastor.  They are threatening to leave if he doesn’t start preaching on Sunday nights.  The pastor is devastated by this news and seems paralyzed to do anything about the situation.  What can we do to help him?”

Looking back, I don’t know whether or not this man was supportive of the pastor, but we had to take the risk.

He told us, “Gentlemen, when Paul talked about troublemakers in the church, he named names.  Who are these people?”

Wait a minute.  If we mention the names, isn’t that gossip?  Aren’t we tattling?  Couldn’t we get in trouble if we said too much about what was happening?

And some of those people were our friends.  How could we single out friends like that?

But this man was right.  Paul did name names – along with John, the apostle of love:

Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.  Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.  1 Timothy 1:19-20

Their teaching will spread like gangrene.  Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have wandered away from the truth.  They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some.  2 Timothy 2:17-18

Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm.  The Lord will repay him for what he has done.  You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.  2 Timothy 4:14-15

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us.  So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us.  Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers.  He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.  3 John 9-10

With biblical precedent upholding us, my friend and I divulged the names of the troublemakers we knew about – especially the ringleaders.

I learned an important lesson that day.  Sometimes church powerbrokers are successful in making threats and demands because nobody has the courage to identify them by name.

Think about this:

Last night, my wife and I watched a recently-produced film on Solomon’s life.  The film opens with King David near death – but he hadn’t yet chosen his successor.

So one of David’s sons engaged in a pre-emptive attempt to be anointed as king –  in league with David’s top general.

Their names?  Adonijah and Joab.

Not “one of David’s sons” – but Adonijah.

Not “a high-ranking military officer” – but Joab.

They were both executed for committing treason against David’s choice for king … Solomon.

One of Jesus’ 12 disciples betrayed him.

His name?  Judas from Kerioth.

Not just “one of the Twelve” – but Judas.

Before anyone could finger him, Judas took his own life.

Paul wrote in Romans 16:17:

I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned.  Keep away from them.

If you’re in a church, and you hear that someone is plotting against your pastor … do something about it.

Warn the pastor.  If you sense the board is supportive, talk to the board member you know and trust best.

Believe me, the pastor and/or board may have no idea of any division inside the ranks.  Your information may give them time to head off an attack before it ever takes place … or give them a key piece of information they lacked.

If you know that an individual or a group is planning on “going after” your pastor, speak to someone in authority – even if the plotters are your friends.

Because if you don’t, your church will eventually experience months of tension, division, and ugliness.  Friends will separate, donations will plunge, and people will leave.

If you know something, tell somebody!

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.  James 4:17

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Your Church’s Inner Circle

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Current Church Issues, tagged , , on April 27, 2012| 6 Comments »

It was one of those moments you never forget.

I was sitting in the office of our new pastor when suddenly, the phone rang.

The pastor took the call.  It would change both of our lives forever.

Several leaders in our church – including people who had taught me the Bible – were caught in behavior unbecoming of spiritual leaders.

And these leaders were prominent in our fellowship.

Because I stayed in the room, I could tell by the pastor’s conversation that this was serious stuff.

And it was even more serious when I learned the names of the people involved.

I didn’t want to know anything … but it was unavoidable.

And I was only 19 at the time.

This revelation shook me up.  People I had put on a pedestal weren’t the angels I thought they were.

That night, I went with the pastor to visit people in their homes.  As we discussed the events of that morning, he told me something I’ve never forgotten:

“Jim, don’t ever be shocked by what Christians do.”

That was my baptism into the inner circle of church life.

The inner circle of a church is composed of the pastor, staff members, and key leaders who know what’s going on and make decisions that influence church life.

After being in the inner circle of eight churches over 35 years of ministry, I’ve come to four conclusions about that circle:

First, the inner circle deals with the back side of church life.

When I was a kid, there was a piece of wood that was used for home plate whenever we played baseball in our driveway.  I kept the wood on the side of our house.  The wood looked great on its surface, but when I turned it over, the back side was full of bugs.

Churches can look like that, too.

It’s not that staff members are partying or board members are swearing at each other.  It’s more subtle than that.

It’s that people who appear to be Christians on Sunday may act like secular people behind the scenes.

I’ve known leaders to make threats.  A few have used passive aggressive tactics.

Some have agreed to a decision in a board meeting and then sabotaged the decision in the parking lot afterwards.

Most people who serve in the IC are right-on believers, but life in the IC can become stressful.

You have to be called to serve in that IC … and refuse to be shocked by what you see and hear.

Second, the inner circle is composed of humans, not saints.  My first few years in church ministry, I wanted to believe that my pastor and board members were truly saints of God.

And then I got to know them.

And the more I got to know them, the more I discovered how human they really were.

And the more human they were, the more I liked them.

When I discovered that a leader liked baseball, or a movie I enjoyed, then we shared something in common that we could discuss whenever we saw each other.

But I was shocked at times by how non-human some leaders seemed because they tried to give the impression that they were perfect.

I always had trouble with those leaders.  In fact, most of the leaders I’ve had trouble with over the years never admitted that they did anything wrong.

The human ones were comfortable being authentic.  The inhuman ones tried to act angelic.

That’s one of the benefits of reading Christian biographies.  You find that people you admire are human … just like you.

A veteran Christian leader recently told me that the key to God’s blessing in a church is when the leaders become real with each other.

He may be right.

Third, the inner circle sometimes makes decisions in a messy manner.

My first-ever job was in a butcher’s shop.  I had to go into a closet and clean out the machine where hamburger was made.

Believe me, you don’t want to see how hamburger is made.

And you might not want to see how decisions are made in a church, either.

Some people think a pastor comes to a board meeting, makes a proposal, everyone nods their heads, and the decision sails through.

But reality is far different than that.

I’ve brought proposals to a board meeting that I thought would be approved in five minutes … and one hour later, the board was still haggling about it.

Not arguing … just haggling.

Some people can handle it.  Others cannot.  Those who cannot should probably serve elsewhere.

But those God calls into the IC gradually accept that decision making can be messy.

It’s the price we pay for letting a multiplicity of leaders manage a church.

Finally, the inner circle tests all who are in it.

A friend of mine sits on the board of a prominent church.  He told me recently that his pastor receives scores of critical notes about his preaching every single week.

My friend believes in his pastor and in his church’s mission … but it’s obvious that not everyone does.

If you sit in the back of a church sanctuary on Sundays, you’d never know about all the stuff that’s going on behind the scenes.

And in a healthy church, you never will.

By contrast, the Four Gospels give us glimpses into Jesus’ IC.

There were events that only The Twelve knew about … like Peter trying to walk on the water.

And there were conversations that only Peter, James and John heard … like Jesus’ prayers in Gethsemane.

I must confess, when I first read the Gospels, I was shocked by much of what happened in Jesus’ IC.

But as I grew in my faith, I came to realize this one crucial truth:

God only uses imperfect people.

And that includes the IC at your church, too.

If you’re in the IC, loosen up a bit.  Be authentic rather than legalistic.

And if you’re not in the IC, pray for those who are.

Because they represent you.

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Pastors and Their Predecessors

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination on February 22, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Imagine that you land a good job and you’re flourishing in your position.

Your supervisor tells you that you’re doing a great job.

You get along well with your co-workers.

Your clients seem pleased at how well you’re serving them.

It goes on like this for years.

And then one day, you hear a rumor that you can’t quite believe.

Your predecessor – the person who held your job before you – is telling people you know that you’re doing a terrible job.

In fact, your predecessor would like to return to your company … and replace you in the process.

This whole scheme seems far-fetched, so crazy that you refuse to believe what some people are telling you.

You choose not to dignify the rumors by even responding to them.

But one day, co-workers who had been friends for years start to turn on you.

And your supervisor turns on you.

And even some clients turn on you.

You wonder, “What is going on around here?”

And then someone who knows your predecessor tells you the truth: he/she is collaborating with people at your company to remove you so that he/she can take your place … and your clients … and your salary … and anything else he/she can grab.

Sounds crazy, right?

It IS crazy … but I know someone who had this precise scenario happen to them … in a church.

Their predecessor was the previous pastor.

Their supervisors were the church board.

Their co-workers were the church staff.

Their clients were members of the congregation.

The equation goes like this:

Predecessor + church board + a staff member + a small faction = removal of the current pastor

Ever heard of this kind of thing happening before?

I have.

I’ll tell you more about it next time.

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It’s Never Too Late to Forgive

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination on January 30, 2012| 2 Comments »

Today’s guest blogger is Chuck Austin.  He has been a pastor for many years and is currently serving as a transitional pastor at a church in San Jose, California.  We were talking on the telephone recently and he told me this unusual story that he witnessed.  I thought you’d enjoy reading it!

I arrived at one church where I served immediately following the dismissal of a pastor.  His dismissal had not been handled correctly and resulted in a great many people becoming unhappy, angry, and quite sad.  Many of the people had become disillusioned with their leadership and some called for all of them to step down.

As I listened and heard both sides of the event, I became convinced that the leadership of the church needed to do something proactive.  I even spoke with one of the men to specifically ask him to consider giving an apology to the church.  I left him alone to pray and to let me know when he reached a decision.  I knew that these men needed to go and visit the pastor who had been dismissed (which they all did over a period of time).

One Sunday, as we were getting ready to celebrate communion, the one I had spoken with came to me and told me that he needed to say something to the congregation – and he told me what it was.  He was quite nervous because he didn’t have any idea of the reaction he would receive.  Needless to say, I was excited about preaching God’s Word that Sunday, but I was also excited about this man taking this courageous step.

He spoke in a quiet voice that Sunday and I already knew that a lot of his biggest critics were sitting in the congregation on that particular day.  Following his statements to the congregation, we celebrated communion followed by a closing song and prayer.

Because the man who made this confession was involved in serving communion, he remained at the front of the auditorium following the service.  Immediately, a line of people lined up to hug this man.  Almost every one of them had taken the time to tell me what they thought of him since my arrival.  Now I watched as they waited patiently to talk to him.

There was no mistaking what was on their hearts: forgiveness.  You could see it in their faces, in their embraces, and in their words.  The mistake had been made and acknowledged and the congregation was there to show its support and love for the integrity the man showed.

Standing on the Word of God and doing what it says should never cause fear in any of us because when we attempt what the Lord has told us to do, He’s there to empower us.

On that particular Sunday, it made me proud to be a pastor, but even more proud to see someone take God’s Word and do the biblical mandate … and demonstrate that it’s never too late to ask for forgiveness.

And it’s never too late for a congregation to respond by forgiving as they themselves have been forgiven by God!

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Who’s Got Your Back?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination on December 9, 2011| 1 Comment »

Have you ever experienced the horror of knowing that someone was out to get you?

In fifth grade, I had a classmate named Darrell.  He had a bat he called Teddy.  He brought his bat to school, and Teddy broke while students were playing softball.  Darrell was livid.

He needed somebody to blame, so he chose me.  To this day, I have no idea why he did that.

Remember how everyone would freeze when the bell rang to end recess?  While everyone was frozen, Darrell threatened to beat me up.  He said that for every step I took, he was going to hit me twice.

I was faster than Darrell and could have dodged him, but I stood my ground.  Darrell charged me and began throwing punches.  They hurt.

But just as quickly, some classmates pulled Darrell off me and separated us.  I don’t remember if he got in trouble or not, but he never tried harming me again.

My friends had my back.

Life can be tough sometimes.  No matter how hard we try and dodge certain people – or issues – there are times when we need to stand our ground.  We make a decision.  We feel alone.  We’re uncertain how our decision will be received.

Will we suffer a strained relationship?  Will we lose our job or career?  Will someone we care about abandon us?

It’s during these times that we learn who our real friends are.

Due to a conversation I had with a friend recently, I recalled a difficult time in my ministry more than two decades ago.

A group of Darrells gathered together.  They were all upset with me about different issues.

One person felt I neglected the Senior Bible class members.

Another person was upset that I didn’t tell the drummer’s wife that she needed to lengthen her dresses.

Someone else had a complaint about my six-year-old daughter.

The group pooled their complaints and drafted someone to be their leader, a man who had left the church a year earlier.

They were finally going to be heard, and get their way, and gain the power they’d always wanted!

So they made a list of their complaints and presented them to two board members.

There was nothing impeachable in their list.  If you looked long and hard enough at anyone’s life, you could come up with a similar list.  In fact, I could have created such lists aimed at each of my detractors.

The two board members responded to each charge as they were made, taking all the fun out of the exercise for the antagonists.  They reported back to their group, packed up, and left the church for good.

When the group signaled their discontent with me, the board let me know that they had my back.  In fact, they told me that if I resigned over their complaints, they would all resign and leave the church as well.

They did not want to surrender the leadership of their church to a grouchy, divisive, angry group of church attendees who were showing their immaturity by their actions.

There is a moral to this story, and it’s this:

To be effective in life, you need people who have your back.

We can’t always predict how our decisions will turn out.  And after we make a decision, we can’t see who’s attacking us from the rear.

We need a few people who will keep watch and defend us against those who might attack us.

If a kid misbehaves at home, and his mother disciplines him, and his father comes home and hears about what happened, Dad better back mom up or chaos will result.

If a boss tells an employee to do something, and the employee does it, and a customer registers a complaint, the boss better stand behind her employee.

If a pastor confronts someone about their sin, and that person becomes offended and starts criticizing the pastor all over the church, the board better stand behind their pastor or they will sow the seeds of his demise.

Who’s got your back?

And whose back do you have?

Thankfully, God has the back of His followers.  He said in Hebrews 13:5, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?”

__________

Last month, I wrote this article (https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2011/11/07/comparing-arizona-and-california) comparing Arizona and California.  While some of my California friends resonated with what I wrote, not everyone agreed with my sentiments, even though they were partially tongue-in-cheek.

So in the interest of fairness, let me present a little poem entitled “Phoenix Wonderland”:

Palm trees wave, are you listenin’?

In the pool, water’s glistenin’,

A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight,

Livin’ in a Phoenix Wonderland.

Gone away is the blizzard

Here to stay is the lizard,

A warm sunny day, we like it that way,

Livin’ in a Phoenix Wonderland.

In the desert we will have a picnic,

Cactus, sand and rattlesnakes and sun.

Christmas dinner is an old tradition,

It’s pinto beans and tacos by the ton.

Later on we’ll perspire,

Temperatures rise even higher,

A warm sunny day, we like it that way,

Livin’ in a Phoenix Wonderland.

Makes you want to hop a plane and live in Phoenix, doesn’t it?

Enjoy your weekend!

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Support Your Local Pastor!

Posted in Conflict with Church Board on August 31, 2011| 4 Comments »

Today’s guest blogger is Russ Jones.  Russ and his wife A.J. visited our church in Santa Clara nearly 20 years ago and chose to stay.  Russ eventually became chairman of the governing board and has always been there for me, in good times and bad.  Russ and A.J. live in Wickenburg, Arizona.  Russ and I meet for breakfast every month – even though he’s a Dodger fan – and his friendship and counsel continue to inspire me to this day.  Here is Russ’ view of the connection a board member needs to have with a pastor:

Russ and A.J. at home in Wickenburg

Having served on several church boards and been the board chair at a couple of churches, I believe that the most important characteristic of a board person is loyalty.  It is imperative that the board person consider the pastor as the leader of the board and the church and that he or she must accede to the dictates of the pastor.

Now, certainly, if the pastor is indulging in heresy or some type of deep sin, the board must act to replace that pastor.  In lieu of that type of behavior, I believe that the pastor should be the real chairman of the board, that he is the professional while we who serve are the lay persons.  We are there to serve him and therefore to serve God.

If the board is carefully selected and conforms to the qualifications as Paul dictated in 1 Timothy, I don’t believe that we would have the all-too-frequent problems between the board and the pastor.

I have seen a number of pastors thrown out of the church by a board for personal reasons.  Not only is this devastating to the pastor, but inevitably the kingdom of God is affected as people will leave the church for their own personal reasons.

As a relatively young Christian, I was blessed to serve a godly man on his board.  There was conflict in the church and the end result was that he was terminated.  Now please understand that this pastor was a friend of mine, a hunting buddy, and a man who I had turned to for godly counsel.

Outside the Giants' Spring Training Home in Scottsdale

As a result of his being forcefully terminated, I left the church.  I remember so well that I told myself that I could pray and read the Word and didn’t need any fellowship to continue as God had ordered.  How foolish and how wrong I was!  For it wasn’t a week before I quit praying and reading my Bible.

I thank God that I have returned to Him and prayerfully serve Him to the best of my ability.  Today, I use that story as my testimony to young people to tell them that we must continue to fellowship with other Christians and that they must find a church where they can feel comfortable and learn what God has so beautifully given to us through His Word.

It pains me deeply to see Christians – or at least those who purport to be Christians – act so contrary to God’s Word.  They murmur, they gossip, and they display no loyalty to their church, their pastor, or their God.

What a Wise Man Looks Like

If I may give a little advice to anyone sitting on a church board – or to anyone who might reasonably be given that blessing in the future – do not let any murmuring or criticism of the pastor go unchecked.  The first time you hear someone make a derogatory comment about the pastor or criticize the church or the way it is being run, you must take that person and demand that he or she go with you to the pastor to air their differences.  You might be surprised at how often that person will find a reason not to talk to the pastor about their criticism when challenged in such a manner.  And again, how often that ends the problem with no further discussion of the matter.

In conclusion, if you don’t feel you can fully support your pastor, giving him 100% loyalty, do your church, yourself, your pastor, and God a favor and decline the offer to be placed on the board.

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Why Attack Pastors? Part 2

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment! on August 5, 2011| 11 Comments »

In my last article, I mentioned the book Crushed by former pastor Gary Pinion.  Although most of the book is about the pain that pastors in general are experiencing today in ministry, the author relates a personal story about one of his own pastorates.

One day, a governing leader came to Pastor Pinion and told him that several people in the congregation had complained to him about the pastor.  When the pastor asked how long this had been occurring, the leader replied, “Several months now.”  The pastor then asked the leader, “Have you told even one of the complainers to come and visit with me about their concerns?”  The answer was, “No.”

When a pastor hears that people have been publicly pooling their complaints about him, it makes the pastor uneasy, because he knows this is how major conflicts in a church are launched.  And when a leader fails to encourage the complainers to speak with the pastor personally about their issues, unbiblical behavior begins to snowball.

When Pastor Pinion learned that one of the complainers was “a catalyst for all the lies and innuendos that had been circulating,” he invited the man to his office.  When the pastor confronted the man, he began to yell and scream, “You are not feeding me and I have been at this church a lot longer than you and I have sure given a whole lot more money to this church than you and I’m not leaving!”  Pastor Pinion laments that “that was the beginning of my ‘forced exit.'”

Why do professing Christians abuse and attack their pastors?

Last time, I mentioned three possible reasons:

First, they are angry with God, and blame His audible, visible messenger for something God did or didn’t do.

Second, they are angry with their father and blame the man of God because he reminds them of their father in some way.

Third, they feel that the pastor slighted them in some way.

Here are four more possibilities:

Fourth, they want their pastor to be someone he’s not.  Most Christians have a favorite pastor from their past.  Maybe he always said hi to them, or baptized them as a child, or helped their family through crisis.  Or maybe they have an affinity for a particular pastor on television or radio.  Or maybe they’ve combined the attributes of many pastors into one perfect pastor.

Although they may not be aware of it, they measure all subsequent pastors by their mental ideal.  And when they finally discover that their current pastor cannot be the person they want him to be, they feel hurt, disappointed, and angry.  They want their pastor!  And if they can’t have him, they’ll begin a whispering campaign or call their favorite pastor and complain about the current one.

Fifth, they want to retain their friendships.  Have you ever had this experience?  You’ve been reading your Bible recently and feel convicted about the way you sometimes talk harshly about other people.  So you resolve that you’re either going to keep your mouth shut or only say kind things about others.

One day, you go out to eat with some church friends, and one of them starts criticizing your pastor.  You instantly recall your pledge to the Lord, but you also want to join in the conversation.  Before you know it, you’re agreeing with some of their criticisms and adding a few of your own.  Although you feel guilty as soon as you leave the restaurant, you convince yourself that no real harm was done.

Why did you do it?  You wanted to fit in with your friends.  After all, when the pastor isn’t around to defend himself, he doesn’t seem so great, does he?  In my previous article, I shared the story about Pastor Pinion’s friend who flipped on him and couldn’t tell him why he did it.  I know why: his destructive friends meant more to him than his godly pastor.

Where are the Christians in our day who know how to stand up for what’s right?  If we can’t stand up to fellow Christians when they are committing evil deeds, how authentic is our faith?

Sixth, they think the pastor is attacking them through his preaching.  Think about this: the only person in our culture who consistently tells adults how to live is the pastor.  The president gives speeches but doesn’t talk about divorce or sexuality.  Your boss may give occasional talks but she never encourages you to love God or others.  Your spouse may not like the way you manage money but he never sits you down for a 30-minute lecture on tithing.

Christian pastors regularly give unpopular messages about unpopular topics from an unpopular book – and occasionally in an unpopular tone.  The worst possible response I could have to a talk I gave was to have no response at all.  As Spurgeon used to say, you want people to be “glad, sad, or mad.”  But when some people get mad at a pastor – often just for preaching what the Bible says – they can go on the attack and harshly criticize him to others.

Finally, they want the pastor to leave.  The man who came to see Pastor Pinion told him, “I have been at this church a lot longer than you and … I’m not leaving!”  When people get to this point – whether they say it to their pastor’s face or not – they’re saying, “Either he’s going to leave or I’m going to leave … and it’s not going to be me.”

Sadly, there seem to be people in every church who assign themselves the project of getting rid of the pastor.  Sometimes they’re members of the governing board or staff.  Sometimes they’re a long-time member or a former pastor or the leader of a coalition.  But they have made up their minds that they cannot co-exist with the pastor.  By all rights, they should leave the church – quickly and quietly.  Instead, they convince themselves that this is their church – not his – and that he needs to leave their church as soon as possible.

Unless the pastor is guilty of heresy or destructive behavior, this is a supremely selfish action.  After all, most of the people who attend that church are there because of the pastor, not because of the board or a long-time member.  Besides, every church belongs to Jesus rather than chronic complainers.

If people would put the same energy into praying for and encouraging their pastors as they do into criticizing and attacking them, everyone would benefit.

What is God asking you to do for your pastor?

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Why Attack Pastors?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment! on August 3, 2011| 4 Comments »

I’ve been reading a book by Gary Pinion called Crushed: The Perilous Side of Ministry.  A pastor for 30 years, Gary knows the dark side of the church firsthand.

He tells the story of a pastor who moved to a church in the South hoping to stay for a lifetime.  The pastor received a 96% affirmative vote from the congregation.  The church had a competent staff, a large bank account, and claimed that all they needed was “a good leader.”

After a short while, the church expanded from one to two services, and the church appeared successful.  But several of the governing leaders began engaging in “guerilla warfare” behind the scenes.

After 21 months, the pastor was shaking hands at the end of the second service when he was asked to go immediately to his office.  When the pastor arrived, he was shocked to see 21 men there who asked for his resignation by 5 pm that evening.

The pastor called aside a man in the group – someone he thought was his friend – and asked, “Why?”  His friend could not give any reason and seemed to be embarrassed to be part of the lynch mob.

Why?  Why do some people attack their pastor?  Why do they verbally crucify him to others?  Why do they start a whispering campaign against him?  Why do they meet in secret, exaggerate charges against him, fail to speak with him directly, and then covertly attempt to force him to resign?  Why?

For starters, some people are angry with God.  They view the pastor as God’s leader and messenger in their church.  They aren’t comfortable verbally attacking God – after all, He’s invisible and inaudible – so they pursue God’s visible and audible servant instead.  My guess is that they aren’t conscious of what they’re doing, but they do it anyway.

When King Herod Antipas arrested, imprisoned, and then executed John the Baptist, the real culprit behind the execution was his new wife, Herodias.  Because John had been telling Herod that “it is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife,” we’re told that Herodias “nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him” (Mark 6:18-19).  But John wasn’t the source of the Jewish law: God was.  John was merely God’s messenger.  Some people attack godly leaders – including pastors – because they are angry with God about something.

Second, some people are angry with their father.  Paul told several churches that he was their spiritual father (1 Cor. 4:15; 1 Thess. 2:11) and that they were his spiritual children.  That’s a great metaphor if you sensed that your father loved you when you were a child.  But if your relationship with your dad involved pain, it’s easy to transfer that pain to another father-like figure: the pastor.

When I was a pastor, I didn’t mind if some people viewed me as a father figure.  If a person was raised by an abusive or cruel father, I tried to show them by example that a man can be loving and kind.  But I can think of several situations where I had to say something tough to someone – even though I said it gently – and they reacted with anger against me.  When I thought about it later on, I realized that I may have sounded like their father.  While I don’t think people are conscious of doing this, the pastor usually isn’t aware of the dynamics, either.

Third, some people feel their pastor has slighted them.  In my first pastorate, we had a service every Sunday evening.  One night, there were 25 people present, and I got a brainstorm: let’s go around the room and offer words of encouragement to each person present.  Everyone thought it was a great idea.

The people loved saying kind things about each other and hearing others say positive things about them.  It was only later that I discovered, to my horror, that we had missed Norman completely.  I wish someone had pointed it out, and I didn’t do it on purpose, but the damage was done.  (To his credit, Norman didn’t attack me – but he and his wife slowly vanished from church life.)

This is why I was always careful as a pastor about complimenting individuals in public.  If I thanked the music director for a great song but not his vocalists, they would be upset.  If I thanked a staff member for an achievement but didn’t thank the other staff, they would be upset.  When it comes to hurts, some people are turtles while others are skunks.  When hurt, the turtles – like Norman – pull into their shell.  The skunks – and I could give you a whole list of names! – spray a foul odor on anyone they meet.  The lesson is clear: never slight a skunk!

When Paul wrote Romans 16, he greeted several dozen people by name at the church in Rome.  I wonder if he missed anybody?  If I had one chance to be immortalized in the pages of Scripture, and found out I was slighted … you get the picture.

I’ll share four more reasons people attack their pastors next time.  Can you think of any more?

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More Deadly Board Sins

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Please Comment! on July 15, 2011| 2 Comments »

Who are the board members in your church?  Do you know their names?  Do you have any idea what they do?  Do you even care?

You should, because the success or failure of your pastor – and your church – is often determined by the people on your board and the decisions they make.

The whole concept of a “board” does not originate from the New Testament but from American corporate life.  The term in Scripture that best describes a church leader is elder.  Over 28 years of church ministry, I worked with deacons, then elders, and finally with a Board of Directors.

I much prefer the term “elders” because it’s a biblical concept and because the qualifications for the office are clearly delineated in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9, among other passages.

Where are the biblical qualifications for “board members?”  There aren’t any.  Besides, the whole concept of a board presupposes that a church should be run more like a Fortune 500 company than the living body of Jesus Christ.

And it’s transferable.  A church in Eastern Europe or Africa may not understand what a board is but they sure know what elders are.

In my last article, I mentioned three deadly sins that church boards sometimes commit:

First, they fail to view the pastor as a professional.

Second, they side with staff members over against the pastor.

Third, they begin making decisions without the pastor.

Let me now add to this list:

Fourth, they neglect to become accountable to the congregation.  From my early teens through my late twenties, I attended scores of church “business meetings.”  Most of them weren’t productive and caused friction in the church.  Think about the town hall meetings that Bob and Joanna used to attend in their little Vermont town on the Newhart show and you’ll have some idea of what I’m talking about.

Churches in our day can do without the tension, griping, and ill manners those meetings produced.  Most decisions in a church should not be made by the entire congregation but by the pastor, staff, or church board.

However, what about accountability?  The staff are usually accountable to the pastor, and the pastor is almost always accountable to the board (at least humanly speaking).

But who is the board accountable to?

In a congregationally-run church, the board is accountable to the congregation, which sometimes nominates but almost always validates who the board members will be.

Staff members issue either verbal or written reports to the pastor, and the pastor issues a verbal or written report to the board.  But how often does a church board account to the congregation?

In some churches, only once a year: at the annual informational/congregational meetings.

But if the staff have to account to the pastor every week (and they do), and the pastor has to account to the board at least monthly, shouldn’t the board account to the congregation more than once a year?

When a board accounts to the church in a regular fashion, that board is less likely to become secretive and power-hungry.  But when a board keeps its own counsel and rarely if ever reports to the church, it becomes a self-contained unit and groupthink easily becomes the norm.

The reports can be made in the church bulletin or in the newsletter or on the church website or from the pulpit or in an all-church letter.  They can be made monthly or quarterly – but they need to be made.

If a church has membership, the members have the right to attend board meetings and even read board minutes.  The members have the right to know the decisions the board is making and ask questions about those decisions.  While board members do not have to share every thing, they need to share many things, if not most things.

Because one day, the church will have a crisis, and the board members will stand before an anxious congregation, and they will endeavor to explain some decisions they’ve made, and people will whisper to those nearby, “Who are those guys?  Why should we listen to them?”

That’s Deadly Sin Number Four.

Fifth, they become jealous of the pastor.  It’s not easy to be a church board member, especially when there’s a lot of stress in the church.  A friend of mine who is an advocate for pastors told me that when the recession started, an increasing number of conflicts began breaking out in churches over financial issues.

Church board members have to read documents, prepare reports, respond to inquiries, and reguarly endure meetings that begin around dinner time and end close to midnight.

And they do it all for free because they love the Lord and their local church family.

So how would you feel if you donated a lot of your valuable time to your church and nobody ever knew about it?

With some people, that’s okay.  But with others, it’s not.

Even though you put in many hours for your church, whose name is on everyone’s lips, for good or ill?

The pastor’s – and that doesn’t sit well with some people.

In addition, board members often know certain things about the pastor that few others do, so when they hear people extolling the pastor’s virtues, they might think to themselves, “If you only knew the guy that I know.”

This can easily lead to jealousy: “I serve for nothing.  He makes a lot of money.  I’m invaluable.  He’s expendable.  I serve from pure motives.  But him?”

I honestly believe this is one of the reasons why church boards involuntarily terminate their pastor.  They can’t tell the congregation this but their feelings smolder inside.  “Why does everyone know him but nobody knows me?”

Like Joseph’s brothers, they’ve had enough!  So they capture the pastor, throw him in a pit, go home with a phony story, and hope they’ll never see him again.

That’s Deadly Sin Number Five.

Sixth, they opt for making fast decisions when under stress.  There’s a lot of literature out today that identifies anxiety as the primary culprit in church conflicts.  Let’s say that you serve in a ministry where a conflict surfaces.  There are two ways to handle the conflict: the fast way or the slow way.

If you use the fast way, you can eliminate the stress quickly.  If you use the slow way, you may still feel the anxiety for weeks, if not months.

On a church board, there will always be one or two people who do not handle anxiety well.  They will opt for the fast way to handle tough issues.  They just want relief from all the uncertainty.  These are people who often have a lot of anxiety in their personal lives – at work, at home, with their health, and with their finances.  They can’t take any more anxiety at church.

So they opt for shortcuts instead.

This is especially true when the conflict involves the lead pastor.  Regardless of the issues – and because of the strong feelings involved – there are board members who just want the conflict over.

So they short-circuit using Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Timothy 5:19-21 in their deliberations.  They exaggerate the claims against the pastor.  They don’t let the pastor face his accusers or respond to any accusations against him.

They just want him to leave, the sooner the better.  Then church life – and home life – can return to normal.

That’s Deadly Sin Number Six.

Finally, they fail to understand the consequences of their decisions.  I recently heard about a church board that made a decision involving their pastor that I believed was suicidal for their church.  After they announced their decision, something horrible did happen, and I thought to myself, “Didn’t they know that was going to happen?  How could they be so blind?”

After all, most people attend a church because of the pastor, not because of the board.

A pastor usually knows his congregation so well that he can predict how a major decision will impact the entire ministry.  But many church boards only know how their families and friends will react to a decision.  They don’t necessarily know the congregation as a whole.

Then rather than admit, “We made a stupid decision,” the board members circle the wagons and find someone else to blame.  It’s classic.

That’s Deadly Sin Number Seven.

Now pastors commit deadly sins, too, I’m sorry to say.  And so do staff members and ministry team leaders and others in the church.  But most of the time, these are individuals who make mistakes and who then must take responsibility for what they’ve done.

But by its very nature, a church board is corporate – and the individuals on the board rarely admit they make mistakes because they made their decisions together.  As a wise pastor once told me, “If you have a tough decision to make, bring it to the board and let them make the decision – and then hide behind the board.”

What you have seen along this line?  What do you think about the seven deadly board sins?

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Deadly Board Sins

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board on July 13, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Several decades ago, a woman was dying in a church I served as pastor.  She did calligraphy and offered to use her talent to write out a few Bible passages that I loved.  One of the passages was Jeremiah 1:6-7.  After the Lord calls Jeremiah to be “a prophet to the nations” in verse 5, Jeremiah counters by saying in verse 6: “Ah, Sovereign Lord, I do not know how to speak.  I am only a child.”

The Lord responds in verse 7, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’  You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.”

Like Jeremiah, prophecy is one of my top spiritual gifts.  For me, it’s not the ability to foretell the future but to forthtell the Word of God in a contemporary setting.  I see things other people don’t see – and honestly wish I didn’t.  I’d gladly trade this gift for the gift of encouragement or leadership or evangelism, but the choice has never been mine.

So I try and use the gift in love, all the while realizing that while some people wish I’d shut up, others stopped listening a long time ago.  In fact, there have been times when I’ve tried to shut myself up – but it’s ultimately futile.  As long as I draw breath, there are issues that I have to speak up about and speak out against – even if few are listening.

Try as I might, I cannot remain silent.

I mention this because last year, I spent some time with a pastor friend who is tough, smart, energetic, visionary, and purposeful.  Over the years, he grew an influential and impactful church in his community.  He amassed an all-star staff and earned glowing credentials.  If any pastor seemed immune to having trouble with his church board, he was the guy I’d nominate.

Now he’s gone.

One day, his biography was on the church website.  The next time I looked, it disappeared – and without any explanation.

And it was all because of a major disagreement he had with the church board.

What in the world is going on in churches these days?

I served on church boards – whether they were called deacons, elders, or the Board of Directors – for 28 years.  In most churches, the pastor automatically becomes a member of the board.  I’ve wrestled with hundreds of issues and sat through 7-hour board meetings and many weekend retreats.

So while I know what it’s like to be a board member, most board members have no idea what it’s like to be a pastor.  And yet church boards keep making the same mistakes with their pastors, especially when conflict surfaces.

Here’s a list of deadly sins that church boards often make:

First, they fail to view the pastor as a professional.  Several decades ago, the pastor was often the best-educated person in any given church.  Besides obtaining an undergraduate degree, the pastor was also expected to obtain a Master of Divinity degree which took three full years to earn.  Many pastors now have Doctor of Ministry degrees as well.

And we were expected to pursue ordination which involved an oral examination on biblical and theological issues in the presence of ministerial colleagues.

Many people in a church are equally well-educated in their fields.  They too have earned credentials.

A pastor wouldn’t think of telling an attorney or a computer programmer or a doctor how to do their job.  So why do so many board members think they know how to lead and teach and shepherd a church better than a credentialed pastor?

Yes, pastors make mistakes.  No, pastors are not infallible.  But the job of a church board is to understand the pastor’s agenda and to bolster it in every way they can.  After all, the pastor walks the halls of the church all week long.  He has a unique view of the entire ministry.  Board members put their feet on the campus maybe two or three times a week, and then only for a few hours.

Why, then, do so many boards choose not to a support a pastor’s vision but to sabotage it instead?

The best boards do everything they can to support their pastor’s vision for advancing their church.  The worst boards think they know best and either block the pastor’s vision or substitute their own.

That’s Deadly Sin Number One.

Second, they side with staff members over against the pastor.  In most congregationally-run churches, the congregation elects the board, the pastor works for the board, and the staff work for the pastor.  If individual staff members aren’t getting along with the pastor, then they need to work matters out with the pastor – period.  If they can’t do that, then the staff member needs to resign and go somewhere else.

Unless the pastor is violating Scripture or acting illegally, he runs the staff, not the board.

But increasingly in churches today, when a staff member isn’t getting along with the pastor, he goes to several board members and complains to them about the pastor.  The board members then become advocates for that staff member.  So if the pastor tries to reprimand the staff member, or eventually fires him or her, the board ends up defending the staff member instead.

How can a pastor then stay in a church where the board (a) has stolen staff supervision from him, (b) has chosen a staff member over their pastor, and (c) has destroyed the trust between board and pastor?

That’s Deadly Sin Number Two.

Third, they begin making decisions without the pastor.  Twenty years ago, the leaders of the church I was serving as pastor were engaged in a project for which we needed approval from the City Council.  We put together packets for all seven Council members but were only allowed to meet with three of them – and those three had to publicly disclose that they had met with us before the meeting.  This arose out of the Brown Act, a law passed in California in 1953 designed to stop public officials from holding undisclosed, informal meetings away from public scrutiny.

In other words, the Brown Act was designed to keep the members of a City Council or County Supervisors from meeting in secret and making decisions without any public input.

We need a Brown Act in our churches today as well.

It’s one thing for board members to discuss matters between themselves before and after meetings.  It’s another thing for them to deliberate and make decisions without the knowledge or input of the pastor.  (“I’ll back you up.  Will you back me up?”)

It’s the equivalent of declaring war on the pastor and on the church.

If and when a pastor discovers that a church board is making decisions behind his back – even if they aren’t meeting together physically but through conference calls or email – the pastor knows instinctively that either he needs to leave or the board needs to leave.

That’s Deadly Sin Number Three.

That’s enough deadly sins for today.  I’ll share four more in my next article – if you can handle the truth!

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