Two years ago today, my world broke apart.
I attended a meeting and was blindsided by people with whom I had clashing agendas.
Over the ensuing weeks, I experienced the presence of evil like never before. Diabolical spiritual forces were unleashed with the intent of destroying my family and the church I served.
Through much heartache, I eventually left that situation to preserve my soul, sanity, family – and the church I loved.
It has not been an easy journey, but my wife and I have survived. We have been told it takes up to three years to heal from such an experience. We trust that in time, we will thrive once more.
Several times each week, I read the thoughts of a famous British pastor who died in 1892 named Charles Spurgeon. This is what I read today:
“When you wonder why you are being severely tested, remember that the reason does not lie so much with you but with those to whom God will make you useful. You are being led along a rough road. You are being tested and instructed in order to help those whom you will find in some of the earth’s dark regions.”
I believe that God is sovereign. He can take our mistakes and sins – and those of others – and bring something positive from them, although we only sense chaos and confusion at the time. As Joseph told his rascally brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).
Joseph was hated by his brothers, tossed into a pit, and sold into captivity. His brothers lied to their father Jacob, claiming that Joseph had been killed. But Joseph was very much alive, and God permitted him to be mistreated – and imprisoned – to save his family, the Egyptians, and everyone who visited Egypt for food.
Only he didn’t know it at the time.
Our pastor has just started a series on the life of Joseph, and I’ve been struck how much his situation parallels mine.
Back in 1997, I was the pastor of a church that experienced a traumatic event. It wasn’t anybody’s fault – it just happened. One day, while getting dressed for work, I broke into tears because I knew my time at that church was drawing to a close.
Even though I didn’t confide in anyone but my wife, I began to search for a new ministry. I felt too weary to pastor again, even though several great opportunities came my way.
So I began to explore the possibility of working in the area of church conflict, specificially pastor-congregational issues. One day, I made an appointment with a leading Christian conflict expert at his home. He graciously gave me two hours of his time.
But I wasn’t yet ready experientially, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually to do such a ministry – until that day two years ago.
I’ve spent the past two years getting ready.
Spurgeon again: “You are being trained as a hardy moutaineer to climb after the Lord’s sheep who are lost in the wild, craggy places. You are being taught to find your way through the country of depression and despair in order to help lost pilgrims find their way to the celestial city. They frequently fall into the marshy places of fear and doubt, and you will know how to bring them out, set their feet on the rock, and once again establish their goings.”
Even though my wife and I have endured unimaginable losses since that day two years ago, we have also learned unfathomable lessons we couldn’t have learned any other way.
We are both training for different careers now while trying to establish credentials. While it’s not an easy process, we see the Lord’s hand at work.
To quote that great theologian Bono from U2’s song Mysterious Ways: “One day you’ll look back and you’ll see where you were held out by this love …”
I see it more clearly today than ever.
Because even when your world falls apart, there is Someone who can put you back together again.
May all praise and glory be His!










Bidding Farewell to Literary Friends
Posted in Personal Stories, Please Comment! on October 28, 2011| 4 Comments »
Can you remember the day when you first met a good friend?
I recall so many of those days. Great memories!
But can you also remember the last time you ever saw those friends? How it hurt to say goodbye? How you weren’t sure you’d ever see them again?
I’m about to experience that feeling multiplied many times over.
Because for 40 years, books have been my friends.
My wife and I have been reviewing every possession we own to see if we want to (a) keep it, (b) sell it, (c) trash it, or (d) give it away. I applied for an exemption for my books, but it was denied.
When we moved into our current home, I carefully went through every book I owned, placing the ones I value most on the bookshelves in my study. Here’s a photo of 60% of them:
Books I'm Keeping
I have so many books that I buy very few anymore, although I do let myself be seduced on occasion. If I can purchase a volume on Kindle for a lesser rate than a hard copy, I’ll do that. There just isn’t space anymore for all my friends.
And they are my friends. I can tell you when I first met most of them.
Some I inherited from my grandfather or father.
Some were purchased for me by my mother or wife or children.
Some were obtained through CBD – Christian Book Discounters, the mail-order group.
Some were bought at bookstores, although those are becoming increasingly extinct.
Some were given to me as gifts by people I treasure – and in most cases, I’m saving those, even if I never plan on using them again.
And some were purchased on Amazon, the website that has curtailed my bookstore visits by 78%.
Many people have asked me, “Jim, have you read all those books?” My answer is always the same: “No, I’ve read many of them, but I’ve used all of them.”
Some books are signed by people like Nolan Ryan, Rod Carew, John Wooden, Barry Goldwater, Robert Novak, Josh McDowell, and R. A. Torrey. Those are definitely keepers.
But other books are dated. I have a set of small paperbacks from 30 years ago on how to do church ministry. I devoured those books at the time, but they’re practically worthless today – so maybe someone else can use them.
Then there are sets I acquired when I was in college, like William Hendriksen’s commentaries on the New Testament. I read his entire commentary on Mark and used all the others, but I haven’t consulted them in years – so off they go.
I found a large bookstore not too far away that buys book collections. They even come to your house to make you an offer. How much do you think I can get for 17 boxes’ worth?
Departing Friends
There’s just something about books that I love: the typeset, the layout, sometimes even the smell … it’s all so inviting.
My friends have never rejected me, though they play hide’n’seek at times. They’re just always there when I need them.
After looking at every one of my companions, I’ve decided to keep the rest of the books in these boxes:
Friends I'm Keeping - for Now
I promised my wife that I’d only keep enough books to fill one more bookshelf. I get six shelves, she gets two – and one is for DVDs. So I’m going to have to say goodbye to even more friends in the future.
It’s almost unbearable.
When I’m watching sports … when I’m ready to fall asleep … when I’m meeting with God … when I’m conducting research … when I need some friendly advice … when I just want to curl up on a rainy day … I reach out for a friend.
And my friends have never let me down.
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