Pastor Karl woke up Monday morning with a splitting headache at 4:37 am after having the same nightmare he’d had for the past few weeks.
It was Sunday morning – 15 minutes before the worship service was scheduled to begin – and he had not prepared his sermon.
Karl wondered, “Why do I keep having the same nightmare?” Whenever he got up to preach, he was always well-prepared … and everybody knew it.
Unable to get back to sleep, Karl stumbled into his home study, rubbed his eyes, and tried to have his quiet time. As he read from 1 Kings about Elijah, that day’s packed schedule flooded into his mind. He became so overwhelmed that he kept reading the same lines from Scripture over and over … but he couldn’t seem to grasp their meaning.
After a brief time of prayer, Karl sat in his chair, turned on the news, and fell asleep.
Waking with a start at 7:23, Karl awoke to find his two children had already left for school with his wife Valerie … so for a few minutes, he had the house all to himself.
As he ate breakfast, cleaned up, and got dressed, Karl continued to review that day’s schedule. He kept telling himself, “I will be home tonight by 10 pm … I will be home tonight by 10 pm.”
Karl arrived at his church study at Family Bible Church at 8:28. After putting his things on his desk, he walked into the church office to greet Amy, his office manager. She promptly handed Karl an envelope and said, “It’s another anonymous letter … the second one within a week. I think you better read it.”
Karl replied, “It’s not our policy to read unsigned correspondence. If they don’t care enough to go on the record, how can we weigh their complaints or respond to their grievances?”
Amy responded, “I still think you should read it.”
Karl gave it back to her and told her to destroy it.
After signing some letters, Karl asked Amy, “Do you have the numbers from yesterday?” Amy handed them to Karl.
For the third straight Sunday, overall attendance was down. Karl couldn’t figure it out. His sermons on marriage were relevant, the services seemed inspiring, and he’d received some great feedback from a cross-section of the congregation about his messages.
But the attendance figures didn’t reflect his optimism.
Just as ominous, Karl noticed that the offering was abysmal … about 25% less than the average amount the church needed every week to make budget. Nothing made any sense.
Demoralized, Karl walked toward his office and was intercepted by the worship pastor, who reminded Karl that he would be on vacation the next two Sundays. Just what we need, Karl said to himself: the B Team will be leading worship when we need the quality of the A Team more than ever.
Just as Karl breathed a brief prayer to the Lord for strength, Amy buzzed him and told him that Patti, the women’s team leader, was on the phone. Patti was upset with the way the last two women’s events had gone … so upset that she threatened to quit. Karl spent 45 minutes he didn’t have trying to get her to reconsider.
As he left his office for a much-needed bathroom break, Karl was intercepted by Joe and Tom, two of the seniors. They wanted to know if Karl had a minute for them. Karl assured them he would speak with them as soon as he returned from the men’s room.
Joe and Tom told Karl that several of the seniors were upset with him over his recent sermon on marriage … specifically the sermon where Karl preached on 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Paul’s instructions on sex to married couples in Corinth. The two men told Karl that the language he used was too graphic for some of the seniors to handle and that they would boycott the rest of his series on marriage as a result.
Karl tried to explain that for those under 60, the terms he used were mild and demonstrated relevance, but the two men said, “We just view ourselves as messengers. We thought you needed to know.”
An anonymous letter … poor attendance and giving stats … the B team leading worship … and now a seniors’ boycott. Karl wondered, “What else can go wrong today?”
Karl slipped into the worship center and tried to reach his wife on her cell phone … just for support … but she didn’t answer.
He prayed a brief prayer and returned to his study.
Checking his emails, Karl received two encouraging notes thanking him for last Sunday’s message on sex in marriage … but he also received two notes telling him that his sermon was too graphic. Karl answered them all. With one of the critical notes, he wrote several paragraphs … just for self-therapy … but then he erased everything and wrote a two-sentence reply instead.
Lunch was approaching, and Karl was scheduled to meet with Tim, whose family had been coming to the church for several weeks. When Karl arrived at the restaurant at the scheduled time of 11:45, Tim was nowhere to be found. He finally showed up at 12:10, causing Karl stress because he had so much to do that day.
Tim said some encouraging things about Family Bible, but then told Karl that if he had and his family were to stay, they needed to see improvement in the youth and children’s ministries. Because Tim had an important position in a large company, Karl momentarily imagined him giving several thousand dollars a month to the church … helping to alleviate those nagging budgetary difficulties … but Karl swatted that thought away. He then told Tim, “I will speak to the leaders of both ministries and see what I can do.”
When Karl returned from lunch, he looked through his mail, returned several phone calls, and then sat down for a marriage counseling session with a key couple from church. Both partners led important ministries, and Karl had no idea there was anything wrong in their relationship.
An hour later, Karl felt like throwing up. The woman claimed that her husband was guilty of physical abuse … the husband apologized for his temper … and Karl knew he couldn’t counsel them any further, so he recommended them to a local Christian counselor. But now he knew too much about this couple’s relationship. How could the husband remain a leader at church … and what was really going on in their marriage?
Since it was mid-afternoon, Karl decided to take a walk, and he ended up at the local drug store. Trying to get his head together by killing a few minutes, two women from the church saw Karl and began telling them about problems they were having with their adult children. Karl listened as best he could … offered to pray for them … and walked back to church … the last place he wanted to go.
After answering a few more emails and phone calls, Mike, the board chairman, showed up at Karl’s office for his 4 pm appointment. The two leaders were supposed to review the agenda for that evening’s board meeting. Karl asked Mike if he knew anything about the seniors’ boycott, and Mike assured Karl that he had heard nothing about it.
Mike then spent most of the session detailing his problems at work … draining Karl even further.
At 5:15, Karl drove home. He changed clothes … looked at the mail … greeted his wife … conversed with his kids for a few minutes … and drove right back to church.
The board meeting … which began at 6 pm to accommodate the schedules of the board members … went downhill fast. The board always reviewed the attendance and giving numbers, and two board members in particular wanted Mike to explain why both indicators were plunging. Mike stammered out a response … he wasn’t ready for this grilling … but they didn’t seem satisfied. “Oh, no,” Karl thought, “why aren’t they more supportive? What’s going on around here?”
During the meeting, Karl received a text. The senior leading the boycott against Karl’s marriage sermons was taken to the emergency room of the county hospital … 30 minutes away. Should Karl stay in the board meeting or go to the hospital?
Karl asked the board. They told him to go to the hospital. When Karl got there, the senior had been placed in a room, and it was too late to see him.
Now Karl worried about what the board would say about him in his absence.
When he arrived home at 10:17, Karl’s wife Valerie was waiting for him. She told him about her day … he told her about his … and they both went to bed.
But again, Karl had a hard time sleeping.
_______________
Being a pastor looks so glamorous to many people. When the pastor stands up to preach on a Sunday morning, his voice is magnified … the lights shine on him … he seems to be in command … and best of all, he seems to be speaking for God.
My guess is that many young people sense a call to ministry by imagining themselves preaching to an enraptured congregation.
But preaching is only a small portion of church ministry for most pastors, even if it’s what most people think about when they mentally picture their pastor.
But the real work of ministry happens Monday through Saturday … behind the scenes … in a church’s offices and hallways as well as community restaurants … and it’s anything but glamorous.
Church ministry is incredibly stressful work. The late management expert Peter Drucker said that being a local church pastor is one of the four most difficult jobs in America.
Why is this?
*People come at the pastor from all angles: appointments … phone calls … emails … letters … and even when he’s shopping. And every time, the pastor feels like he has to be “on.”
*Church ministry is incredibly slow work. People change slowly. Congregations change even more slowly. Pastors may be in a hurry for positive change, but almost nobody else is.
*Pastors have a hard time defining success. Is it measured by statistics? A full schedule? Changed lives? Faithfulness?
*Pastors are expected to give themselves completely to their congregations … but when can they replenish their own energy and strength? After all, they work nights and weekends … times most people use to replenish themselves.
*Pastors often don’t know what people really think about them … and maybe that’s the only way they can stay sane. But they also don’t know what people are saying about them, either, and such talk can end a pastor’s position … or career.
*Pastors can feel momentum shifting away from them in a congregation … and it feels like a very slow death.
_______________
I’ve had many days in church ministry like Pastor Karl. In fact, much of Karl’s Very Bad Day originates from memories of my own time in ministry.
How do you feel about what I’ve written?
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Restoring Kingdom Builders 
A Day in the Life of a Pastor
Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Please Comment!, tagged church conflict, pastor's schedule, pastoral stress, sources of pastoral stress on January 14, 2016| 11 Comments »
Pastor Karl woke up Monday morning with a splitting headache at 4:37 am after having the same nightmare he’d had for the past few weeks.
It was Sunday morning – 15 minutes before the worship service was scheduled to begin – and he had not prepared his sermon.
Karl wondered, “Why do I keep having the same nightmare?” Whenever he got up to preach, he was always well-prepared … and everybody knew it.
Unable to get back to sleep, Karl stumbled into his home study, rubbed his eyes, and tried to have his quiet time. As he read from 1 Kings about Elijah, that day’s packed schedule flooded into his mind. He became so overwhelmed that he kept reading the same lines from Scripture over and over … but he couldn’t seem to grasp their meaning.
After a brief time of prayer, Karl sat in his chair, turned on the news, and fell asleep.
Waking with a start at 7:23, Karl awoke to find his two children had already left for school with his wife Valerie … so for a few minutes, he had the house all to himself.
As he ate breakfast, cleaned up, and got dressed, Karl continued to review that day’s schedule. He kept telling himself, “I will be home tonight by 10 pm … I will be home tonight by 10 pm.”
Karl arrived at his church study at Family Bible Church at 8:28. After putting his things on his desk, he walked into the church office to greet Amy, his office manager. She promptly handed Karl an envelope and said, “It’s another anonymous letter … the second one within a week. I think you better read it.”
Karl replied, “It’s not our policy to read unsigned correspondence. If they don’t care enough to go on the record, how can we weigh their complaints or respond to their grievances?”
Amy responded, “I still think you should read it.”
Karl gave it back to her and told her to destroy it.
After signing some letters, Karl asked Amy, “Do you have the numbers from yesterday?” Amy handed them to Karl.
For the third straight Sunday, overall attendance was down. Karl couldn’t figure it out. His sermons on marriage were relevant, the services seemed inspiring, and he’d received some great feedback from a cross-section of the congregation about his messages.
But the attendance figures didn’t reflect his optimism.
Just as ominous, Karl noticed that the offering was abysmal … about 25% less than the average amount the church needed every week to make budget. Nothing made any sense.
Demoralized, Karl walked toward his office and was intercepted by the worship pastor, who reminded Karl that he would be on vacation the next two Sundays. Just what we need, Karl said to himself: the B Team will be leading worship when we need the quality of the A Team more than ever.
Just as Karl breathed a brief prayer to the Lord for strength, Amy buzzed him and told him that Patti, the women’s team leader, was on the phone. Patti was upset with the way the last two women’s events had gone … so upset that she threatened to quit. Karl spent 45 minutes he didn’t have trying to get her to reconsider.
As he left his office for a much-needed bathroom break, Karl was intercepted by Joe and Tom, two of the seniors. They wanted to know if Karl had a minute for them. Karl assured them he would speak with them as soon as he returned from the men’s room.
Joe and Tom told Karl that several of the seniors were upset with him over his recent sermon on marriage … specifically the sermon where Karl preached on 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Paul’s instructions on sex to married couples in Corinth. The two men told Karl that the language he used was too graphic for some of the seniors to handle and that they would boycott the rest of his series on marriage as a result.
Karl tried to explain that for those under 60, the terms he used were mild and demonstrated relevance, but the two men said, “We just view ourselves as messengers. We thought you needed to know.”
An anonymous letter … poor attendance and giving stats … the B team leading worship … and now a seniors’ boycott. Karl wondered, “What else can go wrong today?”
Karl slipped into the worship center and tried to reach his wife on her cell phone … just for support … but she didn’t answer.
He prayed a brief prayer and returned to his study.
Checking his emails, Karl received two encouraging notes thanking him for last Sunday’s message on sex in marriage … but he also received two notes telling him that his sermon was too graphic. Karl answered them all. With one of the critical notes, he wrote several paragraphs … just for self-therapy … but then he erased everything and wrote a two-sentence reply instead.
Lunch was approaching, and Karl was scheduled to meet with Tim, whose family had been coming to the church for several weeks. When Karl arrived at the restaurant at the scheduled time of 11:45, Tim was nowhere to be found. He finally showed up at 12:10, causing Karl stress because he had so much to do that day.
Tim said some encouraging things about Family Bible, but then told Karl that if he had and his family were to stay, they needed to see improvement in the youth and children’s ministries. Because Tim had an important position in a large company, Karl momentarily imagined him giving several thousand dollars a month to the church … helping to alleviate those nagging budgetary difficulties … but Karl swatted that thought away. He then told Tim, “I will speak to the leaders of both ministries and see what I can do.”
When Karl returned from lunch, he looked through his mail, returned several phone calls, and then sat down for a marriage counseling session with a key couple from church. Both partners led important ministries, and Karl had no idea there was anything wrong in their relationship.
An hour later, Karl felt like throwing up. The woman claimed that her husband was guilty of physical abuse … the husband apologized for his temper … and Karl knew he couldn’t counsel them any further, so he recommended them to a local Christian counselor. But now he knew too much about this couple’s relationship. How could the husband remain a leader at church … and what was really going on in their marriage?
Since it was mid-afternoon, Karl decided to take a walk, and he ended up at the local drug store. Trying to get his head together by killing a few minutes, two women from the church saw Karl and began telling them about problems they were having with their adult children. Karl listened as best he could … offered to pray for them … and walked back to church … the last place he wanted to go.
After answering a few more emails and phone calls, Mike, the board chairman, showed up at Karl’s office for his 4 pm appointment. The two leaders were supposed to review the agenda for that evening’s board meeting. Karl asked Mike if he knew anything about the seniors’ boycott, and Mike assured Karl that he had heard nothing about it.
Mike then spent most of the session detailing his problems at work … draining Karl even further.
At 5:15, Karl drove home. He changed clothes … looked at the mail … greeted his wife … conversed with his kids for a few minutes … and drove right back to church.
The board meeting … which began at 6 pm to accommodate the schedules of the board members … went downhill fast. The board always reviewed the attendance and giving numbers, and two board members in particular wanted Mike to explain why both indicators were plunging. Mike stammered out a response … he wasn’t ready for this grilling … but they didn’t seem satisfied. “Oh, no,” Karl thought, “why aren’t they more supportive? What’s going on around here?”
During the meeting, Karl received a text. The senior leading the boycott against Karl’s marriage sermons was taken to the emergency room of the county hospital … 30 minutes away. Should Karl stay in the board meeting or go to the hospital?
Karl asked the board. They told him to go to the hospital. When Karl got there, the senior had been placed in a room, and it was too late to see him.
Now Karl worried about what the board would say about him in his absence.
When he arrived home at 10:17, Karl’s wife Valerie was waiting for him. She told him about her day … he told her about his … and they both went to bed.
But again, Karl had a hard time sleeping.
_______________
Being a pastor looks so glamorous to many people. When the pastor stands up to preach on a Sunday morning, his voice is magnified … the lights shine on him … he seems to be in command … and best of all, he seems to be speaking for God.
My guess is that many young people sense a call to ministry by imagining themselves preaching to an enraptured congregation.
But preaching is only a small portion of church ministry for most pastors, even if it’s what most people think about when they mentally picture their pastor.
But the real work of ministry happens Monday through Saturday … behind the scenes … in a church’s offices and hallways as well as community restaurants … and it’s anything but glamorous.
Church ministry is incredibly stressful work. The late management expert Peter Drucker said that being a local church pastor is one of the four most difficult jobs in America.
Why is this?
*People come at the pastor from all angles: appointments … phone calls … emails … letters … and even when he’s shopping. And every time, the pastor feels like he has to be “on.”
*Church ministry is incredibly slow work. People change slowly. Congregations change even more slowly. Pastors may be in a hurry for positive change, but almost nobody else is.
*Pastors have a hard time defining success. Is it measured by statistics? A full schedule? Changed lives? Faithfulness?
*Pastors are expected to give themselves completely to their congregations … but when can they replenish their own energy and strength? After all, they work nights and weekends … times most people use to replenish themselves.
*Pastors often don’t know what people really think about them … and maybe that’s the only way they can stay sane. But they also don’t know what people are saying about them, either, and such talk can end a pastor’s position … or career.
*Pastors can feel momentum shifting away from them in a congregation … and it feels like a very slow death.
_______________
I’ve had many days in church ministry like Pastor Karl. In fact, much of Karl’s Very Bad Day originates from memories of my own time in ministry.
How do you feel about what I’ve written?
Share this:
Like this:
Read Full Post »