Restoring Kingdom Builders

When our kids were little, they often fought in the back seat of the car.  If our family was just going to the store, they could refrain from harassing each other, but if we took a trip of any length, I’d constantly hear, “Get over on your side!” or “Mom, tell him to stop it!” or “Dad, she hit me – and it hurts!”  After a while, knowing in advance what would happen, my wife and I took proactive steps to minimize the noise coming from the middle of the car – like gags.  (Just kidding!)

Conflict in a local church is often unavoidable, especially when so many people with varying ways of doing things inhabit the same spaces.  But when we know up-front that conflict is likely to surface, we can take proactive steps to minimize its damaging effects.

Last time, I mentioned five predictable times for trouble in a church’s life as taken from Speed Leas’ chapter in the book Mastering Conflict and Controversy.  (While the outline comes from Leas, all comments are mine.)  Here are times ten through six again:

Number 10: Increase in church membership (or attendance)

Number 9: Loss of church membership (or attendance)

Number 8: The completion of a new building

Number 7: Introduction of baby boomers in the church (or any new generation)

Number 6: Changes in the pastor’s family

Let’s now count down numbers 5 through 1:

Number 5: The pastor’s vacation.  Why?  Because those who don’t like the pastor can plot against him without his awareness.

Like Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins, I love to laugh.  And one of the characters who makes me laugh the most is Brother Biddle, a fictitious pastor who appeared for years in comic strips by Christian cartoonist Rob Suggs.  One time, Biddle’s family asked him if they could miss just one Sunday to go away on vacation, so Biddle asked Joe “Crazy Collar” Mazzoli to preach for him.  (As the Biddles left for the airport, the whole church turned out to say goodbye with signs like “Let us know if you need more time,” causing his son to comment, “Heck, there’s more people here than for your whole last sermon series combined!”)

Anyway, while the Biddles were away in Europe, Mazzoli was having phenomenal success.  He made plans to build a gym and founded a cable TV ministry.  While his family was in Salzburg, two goatherders tried to kill Brother Biddle, but while Biddle’s wife didn’t recognize them, Biddle did. They were deacons Hardwick and Howell … from Biddle’s church!  Biddle concluded, “I knew I shouldn’t miss a Sunday!  Mazzoli must be stopped!  We’re going home!”

Like Brother Biddle, pastors sometimes have nightmares about what might happen if they miss too many Sundays in a row, and although board members usually aren’t sent on “search and destroy” missions against their shepherd, a lot of mischief can occur when he’s away.  For example, if the governing board or a group of dissidents in the church wants to remove the pastor from office, those plans will be acclerated when the pastor is away.  But the opposite can also occur: the entire church can be paralyzed while the pastor is gone, especially if he makes most of the decisions.  Careful planning can reduce most conflicts in this category.

Number 4: Change in leadership style.  Why?  Because people in a church become accustomed to one pastor’s way of leading a ministry and have a tough time adjusting to the next pastor’s style.

I once followed a pastor who was personally authoritative and rather elitist in decision-making.  Every major decision was made by the same handful of people.  When I became pastor, I laid out the overall direction for the church but used a more participative style.  While many people appreciated the way I did things, a few were so used to the previous pastor’s style that they could not adjust to mine.  This issue occurs in every church and organization, so it’s predictable – but it takes some people a long time to make the necessary adjustments.

Number 3: Addition of new staff.  Why?  Because every time a new person joins a church staff, the dynamics of the entire staff change.

A church I pastored once hired a full-time staff member who wasn’t a team player.  For example, he held a meeting week after week at the church facility on the same night but continually left the room a mess for the next group.  I tried and tried to get him to leave the room clean but he couldn’t understand what the problem was.  If we had an event on the church campus after worship on Sunday, the entire staff would stay, serve, and help clean up, but he’d slip off the campus at the first opportunity.  The rest of the staff resented his attitude because he seemed aloof from them.  And, of course, every time I had to talk with him about these issues, he resented me more and more as well.

For a church to prosper, it needs new staff members, but every time one is hired, not only does the church need to adjust to that person, but so does the pastor and the rest of the staff – and that always causes conflict.

Number 2: Stewardship campaigns/budget time.  Why?  Because everyone in a church puts a different value on money.

When I left my last church, I moved 35 boxes of files.  While watching football yesterday, I made my way through five of those boxes, and I was truly amazed at how many files had to do with money.  (My guess is that 75% of the files touched on finances.)  If a church’s income is increasing, the governing board may debate whether to hire a new staff member, save money for facility repairs, or put more money into missions.  If a church’s revenues are shrinking, the board will be forced to debate what should be cut and by how much.  Either scenario can lead to the expression of strong opinions and hurt feelings.  Then when that same board presents the budget for the following year to the church, some people go ballistic about unfunded areas while others come unglued about overfunded ones.

If I had to pastor again, I’d prefer to fast forward from September right to December every year and skip the financial planning headaches of October and November (even though they’re my two personal favorite months of the year).

Number 1: Easter.  Why?  Because Easter is usually the busiest time of the year in a church, especially if it celebrates Good Friday as well.

As a pastor, I always loved Easter Sunday.  The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the most joyful, uplifting, inspiring, and moving topic in the world.  But … preparing for Easter Sunday can be riddled with conflict because everyone wants to look good on Easter.

Think about it: the church needs to be thoroughly cleaned; the refreshments need to be creatively displayed; marketing materials must look perfect; the decorations must be properly festive; the worship team wants to play and sound fantastic; and the pastor wants to preach his best message.  While the effort is always worth it, the build-up to Easter is fraught with pitfalls that need to be carefully negotiated.  The first Easter had far less conflict than the average Easter in the average church.

May you internalize these predictable times for trouble so that, should conflict emerge, you’ll be able to say, “This isn’t abnormal; this is very, very normal.”  May God grant you peace as you live for and serve Him!