It’s my sophomore year in high school. I’m in “sex education” class. The class is being held in a quonset hut. There are about 25 guys and girls in the class. And yes, I remember the teacher’s name.
She asked the class this question: “If you fell in love with someone, and you wanted to marry them, but you found out they had already had sex, would you still marry them?”
I didn’t like the question. And I liked it even less when the teacher started going around the room and began soliciting answers from students. 24 of 25 students answered the exact same way: “Of course I would marry them, especially if I loved them.”
I was last.
Now you have to understand, I was raised in the home of a Baptist pastor, and I was taught to stand alone if necessary. I was also taught, both at home and at church, about the importance of maintaining sexual purity before marriage and of seeking someone to marry who lived that way as well. Over time, I had learned that when I stood alone, I usually ended up alone – and I was like any other kid my age. I wanted to be liked and have friends – and I didn’t want to be singled out as a Christian.
But some things just can’t be helped. Both my family and my church had taught me to live by and express my convictions, and one of my convictions was that I was going to remain a virgin and only marry a virgin as well.
So even though I never talked in class, I felt the pressure mount as the teacher went around the room. When my turn came around to answer her question … she never asked me. I don’t remember if the bell rang, or if God made me invisible, or if she lost her train of thought – but I never had to answer her question.
But if I had, I would have been the only person in the class to offer a differing viewpoint. Some would have laughed at me. Others would have ridiculed me. Maybe a few would have respected me, I don’t know.
But I do know this: now more than ever, Jesus needs strong Christians to stand up for their faith and to stand against evil. But too many Christians are spineless instead.
Let me contrast spineless and strong Christians in four areas:
First, strong Christians stick to revealed truth. Unlike John Lennon, I believe in both heaven and hell. I believe in those places not only because they’re explicitly taught in Scripture, but because Jesus taught their reality, and He is my Lord. Both destinations are implicit in John 3:16 (“shall not perish … have eternal life”) and Matthew 7:13-14, where Jesus contrasts the broad road that leads to destruction with the narrow road that leads to life. Then along comes Rob Bell …
Who are you going to believe: Jesus or Bell?
If you want to be cool, and go along with some of your peers, then maybe you’ll opt for Mr. Bell’s view of the afterlife. But the classic Christian view of the afterlife hasn’t changed in 2,000 years … and while I fully believe that the words of Paul and Peter and John are inspired, Jesus’ teaching on the subject clinches it.
Spineless Christians change their beliefs depending upon the latest book they’re reading or the current Bible study they’re attending or the prevelant view in the culture. They are still infants who are “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming” (Ephesians 4:13-14). Such Christians should not be permitted to be in church leadership or to lead a group study!
But strong Christians know what they believe and why they believe it. They read Scripture and learn theology and attend solid churches and amass libraries featuring only the best Christian scholars. And when heresy rears its ugly head – as it’s been doing more and more – they discern error and stand up for the truth!
Second, strong Christians are proud of Jesus Christ. I’ve never been one for advertising on bumper stickers and t-shirts, but a lot of believers like to proclaim their faith this way, and I don’t see anything wrong with the practice. Most of the time, they are publicly identifying themselves with Jesus, and that’s fantastic!
But other Christians seem ashamed of their faith – like the Jewish leaders in John 12:42-43. The apostle tells us that “many even among the leaders believed in him.” That’s great. But … “because of the Pharisees, they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue …” In other words, if they admitted they followed Jesus as Jews, they could be banished from their house of worship. The synagogue was not only the center of religious life, but social life as well. To stand up for Jesus meant that a person would be ostracized. So most of these Jews secretly believed in Jesus but refused to publicly acknowledge Him.
Why not?
John tells us at the end of verse 43: “for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.”
Mormons stand up for their faith, as do Muslims and Jehovah’s Witnesses and even cult members. Shouldn’t we stand up for our faith in an even greater way than those groups do?
Delirious? has long been my favorite Christian band. I love their anthem I’m Not Ashamed. They sing with passion and conviction:
I’m not ashamed of the gospel
I’m not ashamed of the One I love
I’m not ashamed of the gospel
I’m not ashamed of the One I love
Are you?
Strong Christians are not ashamed of the One who died and rose again for them.
Third, strong Christians stand up to church antagonists. Instead of making this point myself, I invite you to read the following article from Dr. Lloyd Rediger. Dr. Rediger is a pioneer in identifying and protecting pastors from individuals he calls “clergy killers.” In fact, that’s the title of his classic 1997 book. He wrote this article four years earlier but it’s still relevant today:
Restoring Kingdom Builders 
I appreciate the desire to keep yourself pure until marriage and the desire to marry someone with holy standards, but I can’t help remembering that all believers (ie. the church) are the bride of Christ, and we did not earn that by being worthy enough. It is the unconditional love and giving of one’s self that makes a good relationship rather than requiring a certain level of worthiness in a mate that will suit us. A relationship is not about what we can get out of it, but rather what we can put into it. My answer to the question in that class would have been different than yours, but my reasons would have been different than the rest of the class.
I remember I dated the girl would worked at the ice cream snack bar at the Mt. Hermon retreat once. Just once. During our conversation she said something to the effect of she always found it difficult to forgive people for what they have done in the past. Maybe I misunderstood her meaning but I suddenly felt as if I could never be worthy enough for her.
While we are called to live holy lives, the true meaning of Christianity is grace and forgiveness and a restored relationship. It suits Satan just fine when we see ourselves or others as unworthy.
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Les, my story was much more about the pressure that believers feel to conform to the standards of others than it was to make a point about sexual purity. The story was perfect for the point I was trying to make. When I took that class in high school, the culture-at-large still maintained that premarital sex was wrong, so I felt the teacher’s question was needlessly provocative. I was raised, both at home and at church, to live a certain way and to desire a wife who lived that way as well. You’re right, we’ve all fallen short in so many ways, but I wasn’t trying to condemn anyone with my story – just point out how hard it is to hold Christian standards when everyone else around you does not. I see an alarming trend among younger Christians to take their moral standards from the culture and to ignore whatever Scripture says about those same standards. Anyway, thanks as always for commenting.
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