Two years ago today, my world broke apart.
I attended a meeting and was blindsided by people with whom I had clashing agendas.
Over the ensuing weeks, I experienced the presence of evil like never before. Diabolical spiritual forces were unleashed with the intent of destroying my family and the church I served.
Through much heartache, I eventually left that situation to preserve my soul, sanity, family – and the church I loved.
It has not been an easy journey, but my wife and I have survived. We have been told it takes up to three years to heal from such an experience. We trust that in time, we will thrive once more.
Several times each week, I read the thoughts of a famous British pastor who died in 1892 named Charles Spurgeon. This is what I read today:
“When you wonder why you are being severely tested, remember that the reason does not lie so much with you but with those to whom God will make you useful. You are being led along a rough road. You are being tested and instructed in order to help those whom you will find in some of the earth’s dark regions.”
I believe that God is sovereign. He can take our mistakes and sins – and those of others – and bring something positive from them, although we only sense chaos and confusion at the time. As Joseph told his rascally brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).
Joseph was hated by his brothers, tossed into a pit, and sold into captivity. His brothers lied to their father Jacob, claiming that Joseph had been killed. But Joseph was very much alive, and God permitted him to be mistreated – and imprisoned – to save his family, the Egyptians, and everyone who visited Egypt for food.
Only he didn’t know it at the time.
Our pastor has just started a series on the life of Joseph, and I’ve been struck how much his situation parallels mine.
Back in 1997, I was the pastor of a church that experienced a traumatic event. It wasn’t anybody’s fault – it just happened. One day, while getting dressed for work, I broke into tears because I knew my time at that church was drawing to a close.
Even though I didn’t confide in anyone but my wife, I began to search for a new ministry. I felt too weary to pastor again, even though several great opportunities came my way.
So I began to explore the possibility of working in the area of church conflict, specificially pastor-congregational issues. One day, I made an appointment with a leading Christian conflict expert at his home. He graciously gave me two hours of his time.
But I wasn’t yet ready experientially, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually to do such a ministry – until that day two years ago.
I’ve spent the past two years getting ready.
Spurgeon again: “You are being trained as a hardy moutaineer to climb after the Lord’s sheep who are lost in the wild, craggy places. You are being taught to find your way through the country of depression and despair in order to help lost pilgrims find their way to the celestial city. They frequently fall into the marshy places of fear and doubt, and you will know how to bring them out, set their feet on the rock, and once again establish their goings.”
Even though my wife and I have endured unimaginable losses since that day two years ago, we have also learned unfathomable lessons we couldn’t have learned any other way.
We are both training for different careers now while trying to establish credentials. While it’s not an easy process, we see the Lord’s hand at work.
To quote that great theologian Bono from U2’s song Mysterious Ways: “One day you’ll look back and you’ll see where you were held out by this love …”
I see it more clearly today than ever.
Because even when your world falls apart, there is Someone who can put you back together again.
May all praise and glory be His!
Sometimes I wonder if our understanding and concept of clergy is somewhat skewed from the biblical norm. I know it has been hardwired by centuries of tradition, but I believe that the Reformation didn’t reform far enough. I think that in many ways Protestant ministers are just a diluted form of Catholic priest (but I’m not suggesting that there is no role of pastor). Martin Luther has been quoted as saying that we are a priesthood of believers but there is still a dividing line between clergy and laity. Two questions for pondering spring to mind: “How much spiritual suffering has been caused by this?”, and “Could we handle that much reform?”
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I appreciate your thoughts, Les. While I think our spiritual organizations are often culturally-conditioned, the Bible does lay out the qualifications and duties of spiritual leaders, and even says that those “work hard at preaching and teaching” should be financially compensated (1 Timothy 5:17-18). Even Jesus and His disciples lived on donations (Luke 8:1-3). In my view, the problem isn’t with our structures but our spirits. With the right spirit, any structure will work, but with the wrong spirit, no structure will. In my case, there was a clash between a business orientation and a spiritual orientation, as well as clashes between cultures. Looking back, I assumed that the lay leaders were further along spiritually than they really were and I paid a heavy price for that assumption. When my book is published, I’ll explore this stuff in more depth. Thanks again!
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Two years ago I was rolling along, happily serving, without a clue that anything bad was going on. Then one day the church that I love fell apart, and I watched two people I care about go through tremendous loss. I felt blindsided and helpless, angry and confused. Two years later I still have sadness but also a measure of clarity. The one thing I have always been clear on is the fact that you and Kim are very special people who always have been and always will be used mightily by God!
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You’re very kind, Ce Ce. Thanks for your comments. Jesus isn’t about punishment but redemption, and His church can learn from His example. There’s a lot to learn from these situations, and hopefully I’ll have something to say about those lessons soon. Thanks again for reading!
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I really wasn’t referring to compensation at all. What I see as an unreformed problem is our human propensity to want to be led by a dominant alpha male, or a mighty hunter before the Lord, if you will. Mankind seems to strongly desire that kind of leadership. The early Israelites were unsatisfied with the Judges and wanted to have a king like the other nations. We want to have a leader who we can be proud of, who we can put our faith and trust in, and in whom we see either our corporate success or failure. I don’t see that kind of leadership position presented in the bible. I think God’s plan for elders is more of a first among equals situation. I believe that pastors and teachers are also part of this group of leaders. I don’t see a separation between clergy and laity.
Of course, the whole concept of an alpha male leading the herd is one of authority. Authority has always been an object of envy and covetousness in human history. Just as herd leaders are constantly challenged, I think that Pastors are constantly challenged. It wouldn’t surprise me if most, if not all, cases of pastors being challenged and removed from their positions are because of members of the congregation seeking to claim some of the authority as their own. It isn’t hard to imagine people undermining the pastor, or forming factions against him all with the purpose of getting a little (or more likely a lot) of his unique authority over the herd, uh, church. These challengers most likely are not even qualified to replace him themselves, but I think they probably don’t even realize what they are actually doing. They just covet and act on on that. While that is the model and works well in the animal kingdom, I think in the kingdom where the animals are created in the image of God there is a different model.
But on the other hand (and speaking of money), I wonder if there isn’t some kind of conflict of interest in a situation where the full-time, trained professional is subordinate to a board of part-time, untrained volunteers. As I said, the pastor is de facto one of the elders. Maybe churches should hire all of their elders as full-time staff members. Maybe they shouldn’t have more elders than they are willing or able to pay full-time (maybe they can only afford an elder who preaches). If a church needs an ad hoc committee or some volunteers to do some task, there is a whole congregation of potential deacons warming the pews.
Just some thoughts.
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Les, you’ve got a lot of good ideas in there. Let me tackle just a couple – and sorry if I misunderstood your earlier comments.
The OT style of leadership was expressed through prophets, priests, and kings. (There were elders but they didn’t really govern the nation.) The NT style of leadership was expressed through apostles (for the wider church) and elders (in the local church). The teaching elder ruled the church with the other elders but was set apart (and paid) because of his teaching gift.
As long as the elders all agree on how the church is going to be governed – by Scripture, by the church constitution/bylaws – they can govern the church successfully. But sometimes – especially in a crisis – the rules suddenly change, and one or both parties are not aware of that.
The common scenario in our day is that the pastor views leadership through the lens of the NT while the board views leadership through the lens of the business world. The pastor thinks he’s a pastor while the board views him as a CEO. The pastor views the board as elders while they see themselves as the board of directors. The pastor thinks spritual growth is the issue, while the board is more interested in the finances. This problem has been identified in some of the literature on conflict today.
There are pastors who try and gather too much authority for themselves, and sometimes too quickly. But it’s hard to point to a church that’s doing anything signficant for God that doesn’t have a strong leader at the helm. Most board-run churches go nowhere. I am fond of saying that the pastor and staff drive the church while the board steers it. Because board members aren’t on the church campus during the week, they only know a little about what’s really going on – but sometimes they use their sliver of reality to gain more power.
The trend among some churches is for the professionals to run the ministry. Think about it. The pastor usually stays for years while the board members rotate on and off the board. Since the pastor is the one constant, he gains – and usually deserves – to have a measure of authority. It’s how he uses it that’s crucial.
Les, I personally believe that we need co-pastors in our day. One can lead the church while the other can do the teaching. It’s impossible for one person to both lead and teach in a quality manner. Maybe both the leadership and the teaching need to be shared.
When Christian leaders decided to impose the American business model onto churches, they grew larger – and became far less effective.
I’ll leave it at that!
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