Restoring Kingdom Builders

Here is an excerpt from my upcoming book on church conflict:

What are the signals that conflict may erupt in a church?

Christian leaders wish they could detect the early warning signs that conflict is ready to break out, but precursors to organizational conflict are not easy to identify with accuracy.  However, some church consultants believe that the initial indicator that antagonism may be brewing is the surfacing of complaints.  While every church has its share of unhappy adherents, a larger than normal quantity of complaints to and about its leaders may provide early warning signs.

The Bible contains many accounts of people murmuring against authority.  The Israelites grumbled about Moses and Aaron in the desert (Exodus 16:6-8).  The Pharisees and scribes complained that Jesus received tax collectors and sinners (Luke 15:2).  False teachers in the early Church were called “grumblers and faultfinders” (Jude 16).  People often resort to griping when they feel they cannot control their circumstances.

Sometimes frustrated individuals complain anonymously, which is never healthy for an organization because such protests cannot be weighed or answered.  People who carry grievances need to be willing to be quoted with their name attached, but it is even better to help the person share any concerns with those who can act upon them.  Most church leaders refuse to even read anonymous notes, although they sometimes make valid points.

Peter Steinke observes that anxiety is similar to a bodily virus in that it needs a host cell to replicate itself.  All forms of murmuring require the reinforcement of a host cell or cells to spread.  Four viruses, in particular, can turn a congregation into a “hot zone”: “The viruses are secrets (gossiping, whispering), accusations (blaming, faultfinding), lies (deceiving), and triangulation (shifting burdens elsewhere).”  The complaints can be about anything: the pastor’s sermons, the upkeep of the church property, the children of a staff member, or the music in a worship service.

Some people nitpick so often that others identify them as complainers who use whining as their primary way of relating to others.  Complainers expect that their grievances will be made right.  They can even put a church’s leaders on the defensive and make them feel guilty.  If a pastor or board can identify whether the flow of complaints are normal or abnormal, they can respond appropriately to address discomfort in the congregation.  However, often it is difficult to assess matters accurately.

A second signal that conflict may be beginning is reduced participation on the part of attendees.  Faithful individuals suddenly stop attending worship services on a regular basis.  People who enjoy serving God abruptly pull back from their ministry commitments.  Believers who have donated to the church cheerfully suddenly withhold their financial giving.  When this occurs among a handful of individuals, it is not cause for alarm, but a decline in overall attendance can be a foreboding sign.  Shelley and Robert Moeller believe that “some dropping out, however, is premature.  Some members don’t challenge the system enough to give it a chance to respond better to their needs.  Sometimes they drop out because they feel helpless to change or challenge the system.”  Richardson calls this behavior “emotional distancing.”  Frustrated believers may take this stance when they do not know what else to do, while other times they use withdrawal as the ultimate trump card in a power struggle and threaten to leave the church if they are unable to have their way.

A further signal that conflict could be building in a church is the formation of coalitions.  Individuals who have complaints against a church’s top leaders often find one another and band together.  Sometimes a coalition revolves around a cause, while other times people join such a group merely because their friends do.  While pastors become accustomed to complaints and do not lose much sleep over the reduced participation of a few people, the formation of coalitions alarms them because such groups easily can become divisive on a larger scale.  When a few random complainers pool their gripes, the result can be both toxic and explosive to a church family.  The great majority of the time, groups meet in secret to build a case, usually against the pastor.

Certainly Paul the apostle was familiar with the concept of coalitions when he chided the congregation at Corinth for the splitting of their church into various factions: “What I mean is this: One of you says, ‘I follow Paul’; another, ‘I follow Apollos’; another, ‘I follow Cephas’; still another, ‘I follow Christ.’”

Finally, when anxiety in a congregation is high, conflict will be high as well.  It is the job of church leaders to do all they can to reduce anxiety, which in turn should reduce the level of conflict.  Leaders do this through their own calm presence and by communicating honestly and often with the congregation.  But if the pastor is wounded and the board is plotting behind-the-scenes, neither party is likely to speak to the congregation, resulting in the problem only growing worse.