Restoring Kingdom Builders

I meet all too few of them anymore.

Classy people.

What do I mean by “class?”  What are the characteristics of a classy person?

Let me briefly list four:

First, a classy person listens well.

I once knew someone who made it obvious that he wasn’t listening when we talked.  His eyes would continually dart past me.  He made me feel like he would rather be with anyone else than me.

But I’ve also known people who gave me their full attention when we conversed … as if I was the most important person in the world to them at the time.

One time, a former professor of mine – who wrote a classic book – actually took a whole page of notes when I talked to him about an important issue.

That’s class.

James 1:19 describes this kind of class: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry …”

Classy people listen much more than they talk.  They don’t interrupt people, or talk over them, or debate them.

Instead, they really, truly listen to the thoughts of others … and watch their body language as well.

Know anybody like that?

Second, a classy person returns personal messages.

When I was a pastor, if I called someone on the phone, they almost always called me back.  If I emailed them, they nearly always wrote me back.

But since I’ve been out of pastoral ministry, I’ve been disillusioned by how many Christian leaders fail to return calls or emails.

There was a time 15 years ago when I was open to a new ministry.  I heard about a group of people who wanted to start a church in an exciting location.  From what I heard, I would have been perfect for that sitution.

So I called the executive minister of that district to let him know I was interested.  No response.  I called again.  No response.

I was frustrated.

I mentioned my frustration to a pastor friend who told me that this leader was famous for not returning people’s phone calls.

And I wondered, “How did he ever get to be a leader with that kind of track record?”  (Was I supposed to drive hundreds of miles and camp on his doorstep to speak with him?)

I had to let that opportunity pass.

Sometimes churches wonder why they’re not growing.  But about half of all churches fail to have someone answer the telephone when people call.

By contrast, I know Christian leaders who know hundreds of people and yet are very responsive to those who contact them … and if they fail to respond in a timely manner, they apologize.

That’s class.

My rule-of-thumb as a pastor was to answer calls and emails within 24 hours.  I try to observe the same policy today.

And I’ve tried – but not always succeeded – to carry out Paul’s admonitions in Colossians 4:5-6:

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer every one.”

Third, a classy person enjoys encouraging others.

Like all pastors, I’ve received my share of critical comments.  Sometimes I deserved a criticism, while at other times, I thought the critic was being vastly unfair.

I once knew a woman who thought the music at our church was too loud.  She continually wrote me notes demanding that I order the volume turned down.

I looked into the matter and solicited opinions from others.  (After all, my ears might not be representative of the church body.) We settled on a decibel level and stuck to it.

But whenever I saw her coming, I didn’t want to talk with her.  I did, but it wasn’t pleasant because she had become a chronic complainer … and she just couldn’t stop griping.

On the other hand, some people only contacted me when they wanted to say something positive.  One man used to call me at home on Sundays after I preached just to thank me for that day’s sermon.  Others would email me later on Sundays and thank me for the message I’d given that morning.

When some pastors are done preaching, they practically pat themselves on the back afterwards.  But I usually didn’t know if a message worked or not … but if several people whose opinions I respected told me it did, that made my week.

That’s class.

As Hebrews 10:25 says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day appearing.”

Classy people continually encourage others.

Finally, a classy person cares for you when you hurt.

Many years ago, my wife and I were in pain over an issue, and we weren’t dealing with our feelings in a healthy manner.  A couple from our church invited us to their home for dinner.  After dinner, they just listened to us.  I don’t even remember if they made recommendations to us.

I just remember that they cared enough to listen.

Paul writes in Romans 12:15-16, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.”

Our friends mourned with us.  They let us know they felt our pain.

And in the context of their love, we felt safe.

That’s class.

When people in a church hurt, they sometimes seek out their pastor.

But when the pastor hurts, who does he seek out?

In every church, there are always a few people who sense when the pastor is hurting and seek to minister to him.

I thank God for those people … and feel close to them even when we haven’t seen each other in a long time.

Classy people are also thoughtful … and grateful … and kind … and gracious … and say and do what’s appropriate.

We need more of them in our world today.

Especially classy Christians.

How classy are you?