Restoring Kingdom Builders

For most of my adult life, I have lived hundreds of miles away from two men who have meant a great deal to me.

These men are both Christians.

They have both been pastors and missionaries.

They both have been married to the same woman for decades.

They both continue to serve the Lord … even though they’re in their eighties.

And they both have meant a great deal to me for a long, long time.

The first man is my father-in-law, Earl.

I first met Earl when I was 19 years old.  He spent a weekend as a candidate for pastor at my home church in Orange County.  After his Sunday evening sermon, I asked him a question about speaking in tongues.  I don’t recall his exact answer, but I remember that it was emphatic.

The congregation voted to call Earl as pastor, but he and his family weren’t coming until June.  In the meantime, I was hired by the elders to work with youth during the summer.

So when Earl finally came to the church, he had a 19-year-old youth pastor on his hands.

A few weeks later, I began dating his oldest daughter.  Two months later, Earl told Kim and I that he blessed our relationship …  although that was before we stayed out all night after visiting Griffith Park Observatory.

Earl married us two years after we met.  While Kim and I kneeled onstage together (it was a hot day in August), Earl preached quite a lengthy message, reminding us that when God made a covenant with Abraham, the patriarch cut up animals after which he and the Lord walked between them.  (That vivid word picture was always a hit at weddings.)

I appreciate Earl for three primary reasons:

First, Earl is a truth teller.  He tells you what he thinks.  He’s real.  Before I met Earl, most pastors I knew were too diplomatic … sometimes evasive … and often inauthentic.

But whether Earl is preaching on Joshua conquering Canaan, or recounting how his mother met Einstein, he’s always interesting … which is why we’ve ended up talking late into the night on many occasions.

Second, Earl has always been there for me.  After Kim and I got married, he and Marilyn paid for at least two semesters of seminary for me.  Whenever I got stuck in ministry … or was wrestling with the board about something … Earl was just a phone call away – and I knew he’d tell me the truth about whatever issue we were discussing.

Earl was my first ministry mentor – and has remained my best ministry mentor … which is why I asked him to give the charge at my ordination service.

Earl and Marilyn at their 50th wedding anniversary

Finally, Earl raised the woman I married.  Kim’s love for outreach and missions developed when she lived in India and Pakistan as a missionary kid.  Her charisma, inquisitive mind, and strong work ethic comes from her dad as well.

Kim and her smiling father

The second man is my step-father, Carlton.

My dad died when I was 13, and many years later, my mother was still single … though that wasn’t her plan.  But Carlton soon came along and swept her off her feet.

They were married 9 months after Kim and I were … by the pastor who dedicated me to the Lord as an infant … in the worship center where I would later preach and be ordained.

There are three primary reasons – among many – why I appreciate Carlton:

First, Carlton arranged for my first mission trips.  For three years in a row, I took the high schoolers from my church to northeastern Arizona to put on Vacation Bible School.  For 30+ years, Carlton was director of the Navajo Gospel Mission.  The mission compound was 14 miles off the nearest paved road, and Carlton and his family lived in a house with one TV channel (NBC) while the Navajos came to his home for assistance day and night.

Those trips were high points in my life, and I’ll always be grateful to Carlton for arranging for our kids to come.

Second, Carlton personifies servanthood.  In fact, I don’t know anybody who is more of a servant than Carlton.  When my wife and I visited my parents several weeks ago, Carlton got up and made popcorn … and brought us drinks … and asked if we wanted ice cream (of course).

If you are fortunate enough to have Carlton visit your house, he will look around and find things that aren’t working … and in most cases, fix them ASAP.

In fact, Carlton once worked as a handyman for an infamous man who made national news for the wrong reasons.  Carlton kept this man’s model homes in pristine shape.  When things changed … I don’t remember the exact circumstances … Carlton was out of a job … but the owner gave Carlton a year’s salary and a van as appreciation for all his hard work.

Extremely rare photo of Carlton relaxing

Finally, Carlton loves my mother.  A wise person once said that the best thing a man can do for his kids is to love their mother, and Carlton excels at loving.  While he sometimes speaks softly, his deeds loudly express his feelings.  I’ve been blessed watching Carlton taking care of my mother, even though they have both struggled with health issues in recent years.

On my mother’s birthday … a few years ago

Not long ago, I read about an elderly couple who died together … holding hands.  Sounds about right.

My father – after whom I’m named – left this planet all too soon.  I went through my teens without a strong male influence, forcing me to grow up fast in some ways while delaying my growth in other ways.

But God later brought these two different but special men into my life.

With Earl in San Francisco

With Carlton in Orange County

And I remain forever grateful for their examples, their influence, and their love … which I in turn have passed on to my own children … who will become parents before they know it.

My great kids Ryan and Sarah

Happy Father’s Day!