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Archive for the ‘Conflict with Church Staff’ Category

Emotional Reactivity in the Church

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on September 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

You’re in the fast lane on the freeway.

A car going 25 mph faster than you’re going crosses four lanes and cuts in front of you, forcing you to brake suddenly.

You’re rightfully furious.

How should you handle things?

You’re walking around at home without shoes.

You accidentally stub your toe on an immovable bookcase.

You’re in mortal pain.

How should you handle things?

You’re sitting in a worship service waiting for the pastor to begin preaching.

The pastor announces that a staff member … a close friend of yours … has resigned.

You’re positive she was forced out … and you’re angry.

How should you handle things?

The typical way we humans handle anxiety is to react emotionally.

We swear at the driver who cut us off.

We scream when we stub our toe.

We blurt out, “Noooooooo!” when our friend resigns.

We react automatically … instinctively … reflexively … and immediately.

And often … mindlessly.

God has wired us for self-preservation, so when we feel threatened, or sense that an injustice has been done, we act naturally … and sometimes foolishly.

Several weeks ago, an 18-year-old young man was shot and killed by a policeman in Ferguson, Missouri.

Many local residents reacted by protesting and marching … but some … including members of the press … pronounced the policeman guilty even though they have no idea what really happened.

The American justice system does not permit citizens to take justice into their own hands, and for good reason.  Better to let a grand jury hear the evidence and return with a possible indictment several months later.

Why?

Because when we’re emotionally reactive, we can’t think straight.  We’re focused on the way we and others feel.  We’re not thinking process … we’re thinking relief.

And reactivity usually leads to greater reactivity … and that’s how wars start.

Several weeks ago, I attended a training session for Bridgebuilder, a church conflict intervention process designed by Dr. Peter Steinke.

During the course of the training, Dr. Steinke made two observations that especially intrigued me.

Observation #1: Steinke said that when a pastor is doing something that bothers or upsets church decision makers, the pastor needs to be confronted and given time to make changes.

(This does not refer to heresy, sexual immorality, or a felony).

How much time?

Steinke says the pastor should be given 12 to 15 months to make changes, and if he hasn’t made them by then, he should be asked to resign.

But in evangelical circles, pastors are often fired outright or asked for their resignation without any kind of formal confrontation and without any corrective process.

Why does this occur so often?

Because the governing leaders … sometimes in collaboration with staff members and/or a faction … can’t tolerate their anxiety.

So they resort to emotional reactivity, and then they’re shocked when the pastor protests his dismissal, or the pastor’s supporters become angry and leave the church en masse.

And when this happens, those same leaders often resort to lying to cover up their mistakes … and to scapegoat the departing pastor.

If the governing leaders of your church want to blow it to smithereens, then force out the pastor without speaking to him directly and without using any kind of deliberate process.

It’s guaranteed: the emotional reactivity of the governing leaders will lead to emotional reactivity in others … and negatively impact your church for years.

Observation #2: Steinke says that when a church is in conflict, he recommends that they engage in a 2-4 month process to work through the issues … which is what Bridgebuilder is all about.

Rather than making instant decisions that will harm many people, it’s crucial that God’s people take time to move from emotional reactivity to rational reflection … as hard as that process may be.

Seventeen years ago, I was pastoring a fantastic church.  Over the previous five years, we had experienced virtually no internal conflict.  If people didn’t like something, they just left.

But we eventually had to move our Sunday service from one location to another five miles away, and in the process, we lost 1/3 of our congregation … and their donations … overnight.

The stress started taking its toll on several leaders who were involved with finances.  A key couple left the church, and soon after, another key couple stayed home one Sunday, which they didn’t normally do.

The uncertainty of our situation made me extremely anxious.  Was our congregation about to unravel?

I confided in a wise Christian leader, and he told me, “Jim, it’s too soon to know what’s going to happen.  You need to let this play out.”

He was right.  The more anxiety I demonstrated, the more anxious I made everybody else.

If you’re experiencing conflict in your church … your workplace … or your home … there are two ways you can manage matters.

You can react instinctively … move quickly … and try and find instant relief.

Or you can respond wisely … devise a deliberate process … and work the process until most people agree upon solutions.

The arrest … trials … passion … and crucifixion of Jesus took less than a total of ten hours.  Those who executed Jesus have been castigated and pilloried for twenty centuries.

If the Jewish and Roman authorities had taken more time, would they be viewed any differently by history?

Think about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Five Mistakes in Contacting Pastoral References

Posted in Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on July 21, 2014| 2 Comments »

I’m constantly hearing about church leaders who are upset with their pastor … or their associate pastor … or their youth pastor.

And all too many of these leaders end up dumping the pastor or staff member unceremoniously.

Sometimes the pastor or staff member is responsible … while other times the employer/search team must shoulder their share of the blame.

Here are five mistakes I’ve seen pastors make (in hiring staff) and search teams make (in hiring pastors) when it comes to contacting their references:

First, occasionally a search team doesn’t contact any references at all.

I was once hired to be a full-time staff member in a church … and nobody checked my references.

Although the pastor had known me for years, the church board only knew me through him.  I wanted them to contact my references and to know my strengths and weaknesses … but it didn’t happen.

Why not?

Was it too much of a hassle?  Were certain people anxious to get me on board?  Or had I sold myself so well that nobody thought my references would matter?

To this day, I don’t really know … but this isn’t a wise policy.  Neither is the next mistake:

Second, sometimes an employer will contact a reference after already hiring someone.

I once hired a part-time youth pastor (let’s call him Bart) who did a good job.  When I offered Bart a full-time position, he laid out some demands that we couldn’t meet, and so we parted company amiably.

Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when I received a phone call from a pastor many states away.  The pastor told me that he had already hired Bart but still wanted to call his references.

To me, that’s like eloping with a woman and then asking her family and friends, “What kind of a person is she, anyway?”

After the pastor hired Bart, he told me that he sensed Bart had a problem with a certain issue … and that issue must have affected Bart’s employment, because he didn’t last a year.

No pastor or search team should ever be in such a rush that they fail to contact a prospect’s references before hiring them!

Third, sometimes an employer fails to ask one or two more tough questions before ending the interview.

A church I served as pastor once went through a long, protracted process in trying to hire a youth pastor.

We reviewed scores of resumes.  We narrowed the field down to a handful of candidates.  We brought many of them in … but nobody was a fit.

And then we found him.  Outwardly, Frank was everything the search team, parents, and youth were looking for.  We were thrilled!

I remember speaking to Frank’s supervisor at the church where he was still employed.  I asked some tough questions … but for some reason, I backed off just when I needed to accelerate.

We hired Frank, but a year later, his behavior was driving me crazy.  I called Frank’s former supervisor and asked him the questions I should have asked a year earlier … and found out something very disturbing.

Frank’s supervisor only told me great things about Frank a year earlier because he wanted us to hire Frank so he could get rid of him.

Our church was so anxious to hire a youth pastor that we settled on someone we shouldn’t have hired.

When you’re looking to call a pastor or a staff member for a reference, do your best to ask the hard questions or you may pay for it down the line.

Fourth, some churches don’t do a criminal background check or a credit check.

I’ve heard about churches that don’t insist on either one of these checks … but they usually regret it later on.

One time, I interviewed a prospect for a staff position, and I was blessed to have a copy of his driving record in front of me.

Within a short amount of time, he had recently received five speeding tickets.  Five.

I asked him about the tickets.  He said that he was in a Christian leadership program and was consistently late for class.

I drew some quick conclusions:

*This guy doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes.  He keeps repeating them.

*Why didn’t he alter his behavior?  Get up earlier?  Drive the speed limit?  Avoid the traps?

*To what extent could I let him drive young people around?  What would happen if we hired him and he got into an accident with youth in his car?

Needless to say, we didn’t hire him.

It’s crucial to complete a credit history, too, because the way a staff member manages their personal finances is the way they’ll manage church money.

Finally, in many cases it’s foolish not to contact a staff member’s former supervisor.

I’ve learned that after many staff members leave a church, they won’t list their previous supervisor as a reference.

Maybe the staff member resigned under pressure … or was fired outright … or didn’t get along with their supervisor (usually the pastor).

So it’s understandable that many staff members don’t list their previous supervisor as a reference … but a prospective employer should speak with them anyway … because sometimes only the supervisor and a handful of others know the real truth about that individual.

What if a pastor or staff prospect stole church funds … or slept around … or consistently lied … or resolved conflict with his fists … or harmed children or youth?

There may be legal repercussions if a former supervisor handles specific questions in an unwise fashion, although there are ways to answer questions without being too direct.

But as a Christian leader, I believe in giving people … even former pastors or staff members … second chances.

I’ve certainly needed a second chance in my own life.  For example, during my freshman year at a Christian college, I flunked my Christian service assignment … yet went on to spend 36 years in church ministry.

So just because a worker … volunteer or paid … made some mistakes or errors in judgment does not indicate they’re irredeemable.

For that reason, if someone calls me for a reference, I’ll focus on all that’s good about that person … and will all I do to help them get another job.

But … if their character is warped … especially if they aren’t forthcoming about past mistakes … that’s a different matter.

Several times, I’ve heard about an ex-staff member who was hired by another church and yet no one ever contacted me as their former supervisor.

And I’ve thought to myself, “If they didn’t contact me, who did they contact?  Who would know more about the way they performed at our church than me?”

While I’ve learned a lot about ministry references over the years, I still find it a tricky topic to master.

What are your thoughts and experiences concerning pastoral references?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Using Love and Power During Conflict

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on June 23, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Every day in our culture, we hear about people who try and resolve their conflicts by using power:

*They stand in front of microphones and condemn their opponents.

*They threaten to boycott a product or a company.

*They pass resolutions criticizing a leader they don’t like.

*They even pick up guns and join an army.

These tactics have been used and abused for hundreds of years … but they’re increasingly creeping into Christian churches.

Examples:

*A faction threatens to leave their church unless the pastor does its bidding.

*A woman demands that a staff member apologize to her for a remark he made.

*A pastor emphatically states that he’ll resign unless the church board agrees with him on an issue.

*A member promises to withhold her giving as long as the youth pastor is still employed by the church.

In my view, many churchgoers … especially leaders … go to power way too soon in a conflict.

What should they do instead?

Try love.

Whenever there’s a conflict, go to love first … and only use power last.

When Jesus came to earth the first time, He came in love … as a baby.

He became human.  He gave up “the independent exercise of His divine attributes.”  He listened to people and hurt with them and restored them.

Yes, He became ticked at the Pharisees, but He didn’t destroy them.  Instead, He tried to shake them out of their complacency by telling them the truth.

He didn’t force people to receive Him as Messiah.  He gave them evidence and let them choose.

Even though Jesus had access to power on earth, He never used any power on Himself, but only to help others.

Even while being mocked on the cross, Jesus chose not to use power to retaliate against His enemies.

When Jesus came the first time, He came in love.

But when He comes the second time, He will come in power.

He will ride a white horse … brandish a sword … wear many crowns … make war against God’s enemies … and reveal Himself as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

He will impose His will upon the people of this planet and force them to say and do things they don’t want to do: “every knee will bow, every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord.”

Personally, I can’t wait for that day … but it ‘s not here yet.

I believe the pattern of Jesus’ two comings provides today’s Christians with an outstanding example.

When you’re engaged in a conflict with a leader or a group or your pastor … use love first … and power last.

Most church conflicts are resolvable when both sides use love … demonstrated by listening, understanding, kindness, compassion, and choice.

But some people become anxious … just wanting the conflict to end … and so they take a shortcut and resort to power … demonstrated by monologues, manipulation, rudeness, heartlessness, and imposition.

And when they do, they make that conflict far more resistant to resolution.

Example 1: a pastor wants the worship director to stop using a certain female vocalist because she’s living immorally.

If the pastor uses love, he’ll ask the worship director kindly but firmly to remove her until her life turns around.  This will keep the conflict at a low level.

But if the pastor uses power, he might threaten to fire the worship director unless he removes her immediately.  This will cause the worship director to respond in kind and matters may quickly escalate.

Example 2: the church board wants the pastor to give them a written report of his activities at their monthly meeting.

If the board uses love, they’ll ask the pastor for the report and explain why they’d like to have it.

If the board uses power, they’ll demand that he issue that report or they’ll all resign.

Suddenly, a low-level conflict may spiral out of control.

There are times when those in leadership positions – especially pastors and church boards – need to use their God-given authority to make decisions.

But some Christian leaders tend to bypass the love route altogether and go straight to power … and when they do, they escalate matters exponentially.

I once did a word study on the words “threat” and “threaten” in the Bible.  I couldn’t find a single instance where those words were used in a positive context.

God doesn’t want His people characterized by the power tactics of our world.  He wants us to be characterized by love in all its forms.

Did Jesus say, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you impose your will on people and threaten them?”

No, He said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Let us be known by our love … even in the midst of conflict … and only use power if God has given us that right through Scripture and if His Spirit is leading us to use it.

Are you currently involved in a conflict situation at your church?

Use love first … and only go to power when it’s clear that love can’t work.

If all Christians did that, we’d resolve most conflicts … and the world would pay more attention to the gospel.

 

 

 

 

 

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Should Pastors Ever Defend Themselves?

Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 9, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Several weeks ago, I heard a well-known pastor make this statement: “Christians should never defend themselves.”

The pastor said that when Jesus was arrested, He refused to defend Himself.

As 1 Peter 2:23 puts it: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.  Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

Yes, Jesus suffered unjustly.  He did not engage in self-defense when He was charged with blasphemy against Jewish law and sedition against Roman law.

But suppose that after that well-known pastor finished preaching that day, when he went back to his office, he was met by two church leaders, along with two detectives.

And then one of the detectives told that pastor, “I am arresting you on suspicion of child abuse.”

Would that pastor hire an attorney to defend him against the charges?

Would that pastor protest his innocence to church leaders and to his congregation?

Would that pastor assure his family and friends that he wasn’t guilty of the charges made against him?

The answer in each case is a resounding, “Yes!” … but didn’t he just preach that Christians … including pastors … should never defend themselves?

I’ve never been a fan of such blanket statements, and believe that they defy both Scripture and common sense.

Let me try and offer some clarity on this issue:

First, pastors need to ignore most criticisms and slanders.

Why?  Because it’s easy to become so obsessed with your critics that you can’t get anything done.

In his classic book Lectures to My Students, Charles Spurgeon provided wise counsel to young pastoral students in his matchless chapter “The Blind Eye and the Deaf Ear”:

“We would say of the general gossip of the village, and of the unadvised words of angry friends – do not hear them, or if you must hear them, do not lay them to heart, for you also have talked idly and angrily in your day, and would even now be in an awkward position if you were called to account for every word that you have spoken, even about your dearest friend.”

In Richard Foster’s book Celebration of Discipline, he writes:

“The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation.  A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image.  We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding.  If I have done some wrong thing (or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand), and discover that you know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action!  Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification.”

When I was a young pastor, every criticism wounded me, regardless of the source.  But as I grew older … and hopefully, more mature … I learned to shrug off many comments.  I couldn’t let them divert me from what God wanted me … and our church … to be and to do.

And sometimes I would engage in self-talk and say, “Who are you to think that you can please everybody?”

Second, pastors do need to address major charges … sometimes publicly.

A megachurch pastor once told me that four of his staff members were making false accusations about him.  The four had joined forces and were hoping to push out the pastor so they could lead the church instead.

The pastor instantly called a meeting of the congregation, and when he did, three of those staff members instantly resigned … which should tell you something.

One Sunday afternoon, the pastor sat on the stage and answered question after question related to the charges and resignations of those staff members.  As I recall, the meeting lasted many hours.

The pastor was able to convince the congregation that the charges made against him were untrue, and he stayed as pastor of the church, which has since become one of America’s largest and most impactful.

If those four staff members had successfully driven their pastor from his position, where would that church be today?

And if the pastor had taken the advice, “Christians should never defend themselves,” where would he be today?

Spurgeon put it this way:

“Standing as we do in a position which makes us choice targets for the devil and his allies, our best course is to defend our innocence by our silence and leave our reputation with God.  Yet there are exceptions to this general rule.  When distinct, definite, public charges are made against a man he is bound to answer them, and answer them in the clearest and most open manner.  To decline all investigation is in such a case practically to plead guilty, and whatever may be the mode of putting it, the general public ordinarily regard a refusal to reply as a proof of guilt…. when the matter assumes more serious proportions, and our accuser defies us to a defense, we are bound to meet his charges with honest statements of fact.  In every instance counsel should be sought of the Lord as to how to deal with slanderous tongues, and in the issue innocence will be vindicated and falsehood convicted.”

In Matthew 19:17-20, Jesus told His twelve disciples that they would be brought before governors and kings and the Gentiles because of their allegiance to Jesus.  The Master said: “But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it.  At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

Notice Jesus doesn’t tell His followers, “Don’t defend yourself and say nothing.”  Rather, He says, “The Spirit will tell you what to say when you need to say it.”  In fact, isn’t the last quarter of the Book of Acts a recounting of Paul’s attempts to defend himself against false charges?

In addition, how many times did Jesus defend Himself against charges made by the Jewish leaders of His day?  Just read John chapters 5-9 and you’ll be amazed how adamantly Jesus defends Himself and His ministry against His critics.

But when it was time for Jesus to die, He refused to defend Himself, and even though He was abused, He left His reputation in the hands of His Heavenly Father.

Whenever you hear a statement like, “Christians should never defend themselves,” stop and ask yourself, “Is that what the whole Bible teaches on the subject?”

And then imagine yourself asking the speaker: “If you were falsely accused of a major offense, would you really refuse to defend yourself at all?”

What do you think?  When should a pastor ignore any charges made against him … and when should he defend himself?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Five Safeguards for Protecting Pastors

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 6, 2014| 4 Comments »

Like you, I’ve heard a lot in the past few days about U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.

Like you, I have some personal opinions about the wisdom of exchanging five terrorist leaders for the sergeant.

Like you, I wonder why Sgt. Bergdahl ended up being captured by the Haqqani network.

And like you, I don’t know whether Sgt. Bergdahl is guilty of desertion … or innocent … or something in between.

But I do know this: Sgt. Bergdahl has not yet told his side of the story … and until he does … we need to be very careful about making final judgments.

Why bring this up on a blog devoted to pastors and church conflict?

_______________

Several months ago, a friend and colleague sent me an email.

My friend had spent several hours with a pastor who was forced out of a church he had planted.

One of the staff members began spreading a rumor that the pastor and his wife were taking illegal drugs.

Someone called a public meeting.

When the pastor stood up to confront the charges being made about him, those who opposed him stood up and shouted, “You’re lying!”

Because they kept yelling at their pastor, he finally stopped talking and walked out of the church … and resigned soon afterward.

Satan couldn’t have planned it any better.

That pastor – and all pastors – need to be protected by the following safeguards in every church:

First, the pastor has the right to know any charges being made about him.

How many people told that pastor that people were saying he was taking illegal drugs?

My guess: few, if any.

I was recently told for the first time about a charge some people made about me 4 1/2 years ago.

The charge was 100% false, but why wasn’t I told about it sooner?  How many people believe it to this day?

And why wasn’t I ever given a chance to defend myself against that charge?

Second, the pastor has the right to meet with his accusers.

The staff member who made the accusation about drug usage needed to speak with the pastor and his wife before taking his charge to anyone else.

By taking his charge to others first, he could have ruined their reputations and careers.  What if the charge was totally false?

If a similar charge was made against a top leader in a secular corporation … and it proved to be false … the person making the charge would be dismissed and possibly sued for slander.

When people make charges against a pastor … but never make the charges to his face … they almost always exaggerate the charges.  Remember that.

Third, the pastor has the right to see any and all evidence against him.

What kind of evidence did the staff member have that the pastor and his wife were taking drugs?  Blood tests?  Photographs?  Eyewitness accounts?

Or was it all just speculation?

The pastor needed to be presented with all the evidence.

If the evidence was strong, the pastor might have privately asked for forgiveness … or gone into rehab … or resigned on his own … without involving the congregation.

But if the evidence was fabricated … or misinterpreted … then the pastor needed to be able to tell his side of the story.

Otherwise, when we don’t like a pastor, we can just manufacture lies about him, and he’ll be forced to leave … without anyone ever discovering where those lies originated.

Fourth, the pastor should never initially be confronted with a charge in public. 

Why would a staff member take a charge against his pastor public?

To embarrass him?  To humiliate him?  To use the power of the mob?

Yes, yes, and yes … but most of all, to engage in retribution.

Many of the charges that people make against pastors are really punitive in nature.

How can you tell?

Because the people making the charges never talk about restoring their pastor … or redeeming him … but only about removing him.

Where do we ever find that sentiment in the New Testament?

Finally, the pastor should be given due process whenever charges are made against him.

Many … if not most … churches lack such a process.

And even if they do have one, the process (found in church bylaws) is often ignored because people become anxious and overly-emotional.

But it’s critical that a pastor … as well as any spiritual leader … be allowed to have a hearing and tell his version of events.  Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”

When do church leaders ever question those who make charges against their pastor?

The ethos in most churches is that whenever people make accusations against a pastor, they’re almost always accurate.

But they aren’t … not by a long shot.

In the story about the pastor allegedly taking drugs, why did the pastor’s opponents shout him down when he tried to answer their charges?

Because they didn’t want their pastor to be given due process.  They had already selected themselves as judge, jury, and executioner, and in their eyes, he was guilty.

But if he had been allowed to speak, the truth would have exposed their own guilt and hatred, and they could not allow that to occur.

My prayer for churchgoers everywhere is that whenever they have concerns about their pastor’s character or behavior, they will insist on a fair process rather than immediately declare his innocence or his guilt.

_______________

I don’t know the complete truth about Sgt. Bergdahl.  Maybe nobody does right now.

But he shouldn’t be tried in the press, especially when he can’t answer the charges that people are making against him.

In the meantime, I’m going to try and keep an open mind about his guilt or innocence, especially after I read this article today from the pastor of the Bergdahl family:

Bowe Bergdahl’s Former Pastor Shares His Personal Reflections on the Recent Events

He will have his day in court.  Then we’ll find out the truth.

But please remember: neither the mainstream media … nor social media … nor your dinner table … constitute a fair and final court.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Three Thoughts on Pastoral Resignations

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on April 25, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Several years ago, I had breakfast with the president of a seminary in Africa.

He told me that pastoral transitions are handled poorly almost everywhere … and much of the time, major conflict breaks out as a result.

Although I’m still a learner, let me share three brief guidelines for pastoral resignations:

First, make the announcement sooner rather than later.

There are at least two schools of thought on this point.  When a pastor definitely knows that he’s going to resign:

*Let the information leak out slowly.

*Make a public announcement and get it out in the open.

In most cases, I favor the latter approach.

If a pastor tells a few people in confidence that he’s leaving, one of them will invariably tell others … including their spouse … but few will share the pastor’s reasoning accurately.

The more people who know, the more they’ll speculate as to why he’s really leaving … and the pastor can easily lose control of the situation.

My first ministry as a youth pastor went well, but I was only part-time, and the church wanted to hire a full-time associate pastor … and I was too young for that position.

When I knew that I wasn’t going to be staying, I stood in front of the church, announced my resignation … effective a few months later … and ended all speculation that I would be the new associate.

This allowed me take control of the situation.  I announced my reasons for leaving publicly, and gave people plenty of time to adjust to my departure.

It’s hard to keep secrets in churches.  Better to just get it all out in the open than to play games.

Second, leave a gap between the last pastor and the next one.

I know a church where a staff member left one Sunday, and his replacement started the next Sunday.

That’s as disconcerting as having your mother die, and a week later, your father remarries.

People need time to grieve the departure of a pastor or staffer, especially someone who has meant a lot to them or been in the church for a long time.

And if people don’t have the time to grieve, guess who receives the brunt of their criticism?

That’s right … the new guy.

In the case of a staff member, it’s better to plug the gap with volunteers from inside the church … other staff members … board members … and even people hired from outside the church.

In the case of a senior pastor, it’s better to bring in special speakers until an interim arrives.

After a little while, people will start asking, “When’s the new guy coming?”

That’s far better than hearing them say, “This new staffer doesn’t compare to our beloved __________.”

Finally, leave the church completely.

Just yesterday, a former church leader told me what happened at his church.

The pastor of his church was retiring, so he resigned … and stayed in the church.

The result?

The church split.

Why would that happen?

I know why.

After I resigned from my first staff position, another position opened up … church custodian.  (The theological term is ecclesiastical engineer.)

I planned on getting married … needed a full-time job … and was hired to clean the church.

The church went on to hire an associate pastor, and we got along well.

But people began approaching me to complain about the youth program … and about the associate pastor.

I listened … but shouldn’t have.  Sometimes I commiserated … but should have kept my mouth shut.

The associate worked for the senior pastor … not for me.

But because I was a former staff member … and many people knew me … my opinion carried weight.

And I’m sure my opinions were shared with others.

Without thinking, I was undermining the associate pastor just by my presence on the church campus.

Pastors and staff members: please … when you resign … LEAVE THE CHURCH.

Only return if you’re invited.

It doesn’t matter how many of your friends or family members attend that church.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve served.

It doesn’t matter if your kids were dedicated and baptized there.

It doesn’t matter how cordial and kind you are.

Your presence will undermine your successor and confuse God’s people … so after your last day, pack up your things and go … please.

My second staff position was in a church that had existed for nearly a century.

In the back of the church, little plaques listed the name of each pastor, along with the years he served.

Back then, those names and dates meant nothing to me.

But today, I’d look at those names and ask:

I wonder how well each transition was handled?

If a quarterback fumbles a handoff, the other team may end up with the ball.

My prayer is that God’s servants will hand the ball off so wisely that the devil and his teammates never touch that ball.

 

 

 

 

 

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Are Some Pastors Evil?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , , on March 17, 2014| 23 Comments »

Jesus was once accused of being a liar … being suicidal … being a half-breed … and being demon-possessed (twice).

And then a group of religious leaders picked up stones to kill Him.

All this occurs in the same chapter: John 8.

The Savior’s enemies made the following similar but incredible statements about Him:

“Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan [half-Jew, half-Gentile] and demon-possessed?”  (John 8:48)

“Now we know that you are demon-possessed!”  (John 8:52)

And then the leaders ask Jesus in verse 53, “Who do you think you are?”

When Jesus walked this earth, some religious leaders believed that He was evil … and yet Scripture says that Jesus was “without sin.”

Why bring this up?

Because I deal with staff members and church leaders who write to me and talk to me and have come to this conclusion:

Their pastor is evil.

Are there evil pastors?

There might be.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever met one.

Yes, some pastors commit evil deeds.

And yes, some pastors are dysfunctional … have personality disorders … suffer from depression … and have areas of incompetence.

But does that mean that their character is evil?

Let me share with you four quick truths about so-called evil pastors:

First, some pastors are difficult to figure out.

I’ve heard a few pastors preach sermons that made little sense to me.  Their messages were disorganized and didn’t flow.  They made points that I couldn’t grasp.  They seemed to revel in creative interpretations that I didn’t think were justified.

But that doesn’t mean they were evil … just incoherent at the time I heard them.

I’ve worked with a few board members who couldn’t understand the direction I wanted to take the church.  No matter how hard I labored, they couldn’t mentally envision the kind of church I had in mind.

But their lack of understanding didn’t make me evil.

However, in the case of several board members, when they couldn’t understand me, they labeled me “dangerous” and felt justified in harming my ministry.

Jesus could be hard to figure out, too … but did that make Him dangerous?

Please remember: Just because you don’t understand a pastor’s sermons or plans doesn’t make him evil.

Second, some pastors believe they must obey the Lord before they obey the board.

Jesus said in John 4:34: “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

The night before He died, Jesus told His Father in John 17:4: “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.”

Jesus’ ministry agenda came from His Father, not from His disciples.  He was always conscious of what the Father wanted Him to do, while Jesus tended to ignore the agendas of His friends, followers, and foes.

Like most pastors, when I was ordained to the gospel ministry, I promised to preach “the whole counsel of God.”

For me, this meant that I was duty bound to preach from the entire Bible … never to avoid difficult topics … and to speak prophetically about the issues of our day.

In one church I served as pastor, an ex-board member – who had left the church a year before – decided to visit a Sunday service … and railed against me afterwards.

My sin?

He felt that I was “preaching at him” … so he immediately began a campaign to get rid of me as pastor.

He never considered that the Holy Spirit was trying to speak to him … and even warn him …  not to attack me.

Sometimes I’m shocked by how often a board member concludes, “Since the pastor stubbornly disagrees with me on this issue, I’m going to get him.”

Please remember: Just because your pastor disagrees with you doesn’t make him evil because in his mind, he’s simply obeying the Lord.

Third, some pastors are viewed suspiciously because they offended a leader’s friend(s).

Have you ever been a supervisor?

Imagine that you’re supervising an employee who has clearly been insubordinate to you.  So you call him into your office and warn him not to do it again.

He immediately goes to four of his friends in the company and says that you’ve been mistreating him … but you aren’t aware of what he’s saying.

I’ve had this precise scenario happen to me as a pastor … only the person I supervised was a staff member.

Even though church bylaws stated that the senior pastor was responsible for supervising ministry staff members … when a staff member didn’t like what I said to him or her, rather than submit to my authority … they would invariably find a board member and complain to him about me.

The biblical way for the board member to handle such a situation is to say to the staff member, “Let’s go talk to the pastor about this right now.”

But the board member usually wouldn’t do that.  Instead, he and the staff member would form an alliance together … both agreeing on one thing:

The senior pastor must be evil because he wounded the staff member.

But the real evil here is that the board member was seduced by the staff member into taking the staff member’s side without ever talking with the pastor.

In this scenario, it’s crucial that the board member circle back and speak with the senior pastor because (a) the staff member might be exaggerating the situation, or (b) the staff member might be lying as a way of retaliating against the pastor.

Please remember: just because a staff member tells someone that the pastor mistreated him doesn’t mean it’s so.

Finally, some pastors have become special targets of Satan.

Years ago, I saw a Christian film called Whitcomb’s War.  While the production values were rather crude, the film’s message still rings true.

Pastor Whitcomb arrives as the new pastor of a troubled church.  As he sets up his office upstairs, demons begin setting up their headquarters in the church basement.

Much of the time, the demons didn’t intend to attack the pastor directly … but to attack him through individuals in the church.

As a pastor, I’ve been attacked by people outside the church and inside the church.

When you’re attacked by people outside the church … like city planners or church neighbors … the congregation tends to unite together in purpose and in prayer.

But when you’re attacked by people inside the church … especially board and staff members … the congregation tends to follow the person they like/know best and division results.

And all the while, Satan laughs.

Jesus told His opponents in John 8:44:

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Even though Jesus hadn’t done anything wrong in God’s eyes, once His opponents labeled Him as being demonic … and thus evil … they felt justified in destroying Him.

And even when a pastor is innocent before God, if a few detractors label him as evil, they feel justified in using every weapon in their arsenal to run him out of their church.

Please remember: just because a pastor’s detractors call him evil does not provide justification for destroying him personally or professionally. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to get Christian churches to wake up to this important point:

The way Christian leaders treat each other in private will eventually affect the congregation in public.

What are your thoughts about what I’ve written?

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Five Questions Christian Leaders Can’t Answer

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on February 21, 2014| 6 Comments »

There are a lot of things in this world I don’t understand.  For example:

Why is one baseball pitcher paid more than $30 million per season?

Why did they have to kill off Matthew on Downton Abbey?

And why does anyone pay attention to Miley Cyrus?

There are also areas of the Christian church I don’t understand:

Why are so many Christians afraid to stand up for their faith?

Why are most churches unprepared for guests?

Why don’t pastors preach on controversial issues anymore?

We can talk about those issues another time.

However, I have five questions that center around conflict in churches – especially involving pastors – that continue to puzzle me:

First, why do so many Christians resort to lying to get rid of their pastor?

When a pastor is innocent of any major offense (like heresy, immorality, or felonious behavior), but a group in the church wants to push him out, why do they lie to get their way?

And why do so many gullible Christians believe the lies without checking their veracity?

And why do churchgoers believe the liars and proceed to shun their pastor?

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

I hear stories all the time from pastors whose forced resignations were preceded by one lie after the other.

Why do we permit this in the body of Christ?

Can’t figure it out.

Second, why is a forced-out pastor considered “damaged goods?”

In our day, if a pastor is forced to resign from a church, the chances that he can find another church ministry are poor.

Why do search teams make blanket judgments about such pastors without doing a little more homework?

Why does the Church that espouses grace for sinners withhold that same grace from pastors who have been battered and bullied?

I know men with sparkling credentials … who have grown churches … who are excellent speakers … who have proven their stability by leading the same church for 20 years … who have given their lives to the ministry … who can’t get a search team member to even return an email.

If Peter denied that he knew Christ in our day, would God’s people let him back into ministry?

Many pastors are forced out of their positions because they chose to obey the Lord rather than the board.

Shouldn’t we celebrate these men as heroes rather than ban them from church ministry for life?

Can’t figure it out.

Third, why don’t more denominational leaders stand behind pastors under attack?

When I became a pastor, I was told that my district minister was “a pastor to pastors.”

So I shared with him some concerns I had about my church.

That was a big mistake … because he later used what I shared against me.

If you’re a pastor under attack, and you’re looking for someone to confide in, think twice about trusting your regional minister.

Why?

Because they are usually more interested in keeping the church – and its money – in the denomination than standing for what’s right.

If you’re a pastor, and you’re under fire inside your church, and you’re thinking about asking your district executive for help, ask him this one question first:

To what extent will you stand behind me in this conflict?

If you get a wishy-washy political answer … which is likely … RUN!

Before I draw a parallel with Pontius Pilate … why don’t more denominational leaders stand up for their pastors?

Can’t figure it out.

Fourth, why aren’t more Christian leaders doing something about the problem of forced terminations?

In my book Church Coup, I quoted researcher Marcus Tanner from Texas Tech University about the increase in clergy terminations.

Tanner stated, “Everybody knows this is happening, but nobody wants to talk about it.  The vast majority of denominations across the country are doing absolutely nothing.”

If 1,500 to 1,800 pastors are leaving church ministry every month – with most of them forced out – then why are good people sitting around and permitting this evil to happen?

And don’t give me this “autonomy of the local church” stuff.  That’s just an excuse for Christian fear and dysfunction.

If pastors are being abused and battered and lied about, why are most Christian leaders silent?

Can’t figure it out.

Finally, why are congregations so blind when it comes to Satan’s influence?

Satan uses two primary tactics to destroy pastors and churches: deception and destruction.

Jesus said in John 8:44 that Satan is a liar and the father of lies … and was a murderer from the beginning.

Deception and destruction … two words that are easy to remember.

Anytime that lies are being spread through a church … Satan is involved.

Anytime that someone is trying to destroy a pastor … Satan is involved.

And yet, when Christians are in the midst of a conflict involving their pastor, some attribute the chaos and consternation to anyone and everyone except the evil one.

Why are believers so easily fooled?

Paul wrote about Satan in 2 Corinthians 2:11, “For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

But during a conflict, most Christians seem spiritually deaf and blind.

Can’t figure it out.

It’s high time that Christians took the time to study and practice what the Bible has to say about church conflict.

Or else Jesus’ church is going to have an increasing number of questions that it can’t answer.

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When Should a Pastor Replace a Leader?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on October 16, 2013| 6 Comments »

What should a pastor do when the person leading the music on Sundays isn’t working out, but is someone the pastor loves?

That’s the dilemma I faced in my second pastorate.

Jim was in his mid-70s when I first became a pastor.  He chaired the deacons … headed up the search team …  and yes, picked me up at the airport.

While he chose me to be his pastor, I did not choose him to be my song leader.  I inherited him.

We became friends.  We went to ballgames together … served at the rescue mission … and were in frequent contact.

Jim was also the church’s song leader for the Sunday morning and Sunday evening services.

I liked Jim, and he liked me.

After two years, our church merged with a sister church five miles away.  Jim remained the song leader … but he was losing it … and I didn’t know what to do.

Jim was an old school song leader.  He waved his arms to piano and organ accompaniment.  In the mid-1980s, that was bad enough.

But Jim kept choosing the same songs … to the point that we never learned any new music.  He frequently sang the wrong words … or stopped singing altogether because he often lost his place.

Worst of all, Jim felt it was his duty to tell jokes between songs … and he kept telling the same bad jokes over and over again.  (“Can you be a smoker and be a Christian?  Yes … but that will make you a stinking Christian.”)

Those comments didn’t exactly lead the congregation in an enraptured state to God’s throne.

To be kind, Jim was killing our worship times.  He wouldn’t let anyone else lead the music.  He wouldn’t let anyone else choose songs on Sunday nights.

And God forbid that we would ever use a band!

And yet, Jim was largely responsible for bringing me to the church … he still had influence in the congregation … and he was my friend.

What should a pastor in a similar situation do?

How should a pastor make a move to replace a leader who is no longer working out?

First, the pastor needs to clarify his authority.

Pastors sometimes have far less authority than people think.  For example, I intentionally tried not to weigh in on who should lead the women’s ministry.  Let the women handle that!

If there was a problem with an adult youth leader, I wanted the youth pastor to deal with that.

While I wanted to stay in touch with each ministry, I didn’t want to run each one, either.

But when it comes to a church’s worship services, everybody expects that the pastor is ultimately in charge.  And if the music is getting increasingly worse, the pastor needs to take action.

So in my case with Jim, I already had the authority to do something.

I just needed the courage to use the authority I had.

Second, the pastor needs to elevate ministry standards.

If a leader isn’t performing at the level the pastor expects … and the church requires … then the pastor needs to raise the bar.

The pastor needs to have a conversation with the leader in private.  The pastor may also need to create or modify a written position description that describes expectations and benchmarks for success.  He can ask the leader he’s struggling with for input as well.

The pastor then needs to say, “I need to see improvement in the areas I’ve specified over the next six weeks or three months.  Let’s meet every couple of weeks until the deadline.  I want to do everything I can to help you succeed.”

And the pastor needs to inform the church’s governing board that he’s trying to elevate the standards in that particular ministry.

I didn’t have this conversation with Jim, and I’m not sure it would have helped.  Because of his age – he was 78 at this point – he would have interpreted any criticism of his ministry as an indication that I was trying to put him out to pasture.  In addition, he was more than twice my age, and I’ve always been deferential to my elders (1 Timothy 5:1).

In our case, Jim and I clashed before we had that conversation.

Third, the pastor needs to expect sabotage.

From whom?  From the leader the pastor is trying to help.

Sabotage comes in different forms:

*Insubordination: “I am not going to do what you want.”

*Seniority: “I was here long before the pastor … and I’ll be here long after he’s gone.”

*Passive-aggressive behavior: the leader gives the pastor the impression of cooperation but resists making any changes.

*Coalition-building: the leader tells his/her network that the pastor is “trying to remove me from leadership” … hoping that network will support him/her against the pastor.

For this reason, the pastor needs to let the leader know in advance that actual sabotage in any form is grounds for instant removal.

In my case, I asked Jim one Sunday morning if he would sing some songs I had chosen about friendship for that evening’s service.

Jim told me, “Every pastor I’ve ever worked with has always let me choose the songs.”  I replied, “That’s fine, but I want us to sing these specific songs this evening.”

Jim refused.

And then he complained to his network that I was trying to curtail his authority.

I did not back down.  This was a battle I had to win.

The issue was not, “Which songs are we going to sing tonight?”  The issue was, “Who is ultimately in charge of our worship services … as well as our music?”

And the answer has to be, “The pastor.”

Fourth, the pastor usually needs to have a replacement available.

Before the pastor moves to correct a leader, he needs to have someone else available to step in and take the leader’s place … even on an interim basis.

There are exceptions to this rule.

For example, the pastor may not want to remove just the youth pastor … he may also want to blow up the entire youth ministry.

So if he removes the youth pastor from leadership, the pastor may let the youth group flounder for several months.

Why?  Because this gives the pastor time to find a new leader … and may rid the youth group of volunteer leaders who aren’t working out.

As I recall, in Jim’s case, we didn’t have another song leader available …  but that didn’t make Jim irreplaceable.

We eventually replaced him with a band.

Finally, the pastor needs to be prepared to let the leader – and his network – walk.

Whenever I had a tough conversation with a church leader, I knew from experience that the leader might get their feelings hurt and eventually leave the church.

So if the leader stays and improves, it’s a bonus.  But too often, the leader becomes upset, complains to family and friends, and the pastor becomes their enemy.

And for a pastor, losing a leader … and that leader’s network … is painful.  In their hearts, pastors don’t want to lose anybody.

But sometimes, leaders block a ministry’s progress, and if they won’t receive correction and initiate improvement, they have to go.

Especially with a ministry as important as music.

With Jim, he invited himself to the next board meeting, where he had not one … not three … but seven complaints to register against me.

The board listened to Jim’s complaints … challenged him on every one … and Jim sensed that they supported their pastor.

The next morning, he called to tell me that he was leaving the church.  Sadly, that was the end of our friendship.

And this is why these decisions are so full of conflict for pastors.

On the one hand … here is a leader who has been faithful and effective for a long period of time … even years.

But on the other hand, the leader no longer can take the church where it needs to go, and if they stay in charge of that ministry, it might never improve.

So what should the pastor do?

If the pastor does replace that leader, the pastor may lose the leader’s friendship … the leader may leave the church, along with his/her network … and there is no guarantee that the next leader will be any better.

If the pastor doesn’t replace that leader, that ministry may continue to flounder, the pastor may lose people’s respect … and if this scenario is replicated with other ministries, the pastor may end up leaving instead.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

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Why I Wrote a Book

Posted in About Restoring Kingdom Builders, Church Conflict, Church Coup Excerpts, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Pastoral Termination, Personal Stories, tagged , , , , on April 25, 2013| 5 Comments »

Over the past 3 years, I’ve been writing a book on a devastating 50-day conflict that my wife and I experienced in our last church ministry.

The book has now been published by Xulon Press and is titled Church Coup: A Cautionary Tale of Congregational Conflict.

The book is 291 pages long, contains 14 chapters, and has more than 150 endnotes.

Why did it take 3 years?

*Because I wrote 450 pages and had to pare it down.  (You can’t share everything that happened or the book would become unreadable.)

*Because I chose to edit the book myself … and that took twice as long as writing it.

*Because this may be my only shot at writing a book … and I wanted to get it right.

*Because I hoped that the longer I waited, the less painful the recounting of the story would be for everyone involved.

While the first nine chapters are a narrative describing the conflict, the last five chapters analyze what happened and place it in its larger context in the Christian community.

There are models for books like this, such as The Wounded Minister by Guy Greenfield, Too Great a Temptation by Joel Gregory, Why I Stayed by Gayle Haggard, Crying on Sunday by Elaine Onley, as well as the classic Clergy Killers by the late G. Lloyd Rediger.

When I wrote my doctoral dissertation on church antagonism informed by family systems theory, my professional editor could not believe that these kinds of conflicts happen in churches.  Pastors know they occur, as do denominational executives and parachurch leaders, but the average Christian remains unaware of how conflicts begin and are perpetuated.

While pastors and governing boards will profit from the book, I wrote it primarily for lay people, which is why I chose to tell a story.  In fact, I believe that lay people hold the key to preventing and resolving these kinds of conflicts, even when they occur behind closed doors.

Let me make four observations about the book:

It’s personal.  The book is my attempt to share what a pastor goes through when a small minority targets him for removal.  I’m in a unique position to do this because I’ve seen pastors treated this way all my life, starting with my father, who died less than two years after he was forced to resign due to a major conflict in a church he planted.

It’s not possible to lead a large volunteer organization without making occasional missteps, which is why I wrote a chapter called, “Mistakes I Made.”  But I contend that any errors I made were minor and resolvable.  I was not guilty of any major offense and should have been protected against the accusations made against me.

However, some people collected several minor offenses, embellished them, exaggerated their importance, and then accused me of all kinds of wrongdoing.  They chose to elevate their personal agenda over the desires of 95% of the congregation . . . the epitome of selfishness.

While I answer some charges in the book, most could easily have been cleared up if people had simply spoken with me in person.

It’s emotional.  From the beginning, I intended to write a raw book, but after letting some professionals review it, I made modifications.

Because the book rehearses how the conflict affected my wife and me emotionally, there’s a lot of pain involved, which several endorsers noted.  Maybe someday the pain will subside, but from what I understand, it probably never will . . . and not just for us.

That’s why I’ve subtitled the book A Cautionary Tale.  There are lessons we can learn from pain that can’t be learned any other way.

At the eleventh hour, I felt like scrubbing the whole project, but my family cheered me forward.  Why put all that effort into a book and then discard it?  Because I truly don’t wish to hurt anyone or reopen any old wounds.

But if you write about the crucifixion, you have to talk about Pilate, and Caiaphas, and the Sanhedrin, and Peter’s denials, and Judas’ betrayal.  There’s no way around it.

So I tried to put as much distance between me and those who attacked me as possible.  I don’t name the church or its community, and I give aliases to those who were integrally involved in the conflict.  Whenever I could advance the narrative without mentioning people by name, I did, and as often as possible, I attribute actions and decisions to groups rather than individuals.

In addition, I purposely tried not to attack anyone either personally or professionally.  While I vehemently disagreed with many decisions that were made, I try to express myself with grace.

A major conflict surfaces a range of feelings that you can’t conceal.  Before and during Jesus’ crucifixion, He experienced sorrow, depression, agony, abandonment, betrayal, and shock.

In the same way – but to a far lesser degree – there is no way to tell this story without relating strong emotions, especially outrage.  Since I’m a thinker more than a feeler, my account is usually restrained – but not always.

It’s prescriptive.  At the end of each of the first 11 chapters, I offer suggestions as to how to prevent these kinds of conflicts from happening in churches.  I offer counsel to pastors, governing leaders, and lay people alike.  The book is not so much a “look how much I suffered” lament as it is an attempt to point out mistakes that were made to help Christian leaders and churches handle these situations better in the future.

Paul wrote letters to 7 churches and 2 ministry leaders in the New Testament.  His letters to Timothy and Titus were for their eyes only.  But books like Romans and 1 and 2 Corinthians and Ephesians and Colossians were written to congregations and intended to be read aloud to affect the behavior of entire assemblies . . . and Paul often instructs them concerning how to handle the conflicts in their midst.

There’s so little in print on dealing with these challenges.  So the book’s last chapter deals with the problem of pastoral termination.  I offer prescriptions for eradicating this plague that causes at least 1,500 pastors per month to leave church ministry . . . often for good.

It’s redemptive.  While God did not cause this conflict, He did permit it.  After Joseph encountered his brothers in Egypt, he told them, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”

Much of my ministry in the days to come will be focused on helping congregations prevent these kinds of conflicts.  They are inherently destructive to churches, pastors, boards, and churchgoers alike.  (In fact, there isn’t one instance in the New Testament where churchgoers try to destroy one of their leaders.)

In my introduction, I quote Rick Warren – who is going through his own period of suffering right now – from his bestseller The Purpose Driven Life:

“God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others . . . . The very experiences that you have resented or regretted most in life – the ones you’ve wanted to hide and forget – are the experiences God wants to use to help others. They are your ministry! For God to use your painful experiences, you must be willing to share them. You have to stop covering them up, and you must honestly admit your faults, failures, and fears. Doing this will probably be your most effective ministry.”

This book is my attempt to carry out Rick’s words.  In fact, I felt that God was compelling me to write it.

If you’d like to buy Church Coup, you can order it at our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org

And if you find the book helpful, I’d appreciate it if you would tell others about it.

May God richly bless you, and remember the wisdom of Romans 12:18:

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

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