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Are Some Pastors Evil?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , , on March 17, 2014| 23 Comments »

Jesus was once accused of being a liar … being suicidal … being a half-breed … and being demon-possessed (twice).

And then a group of religious leaders picked up stones to kill Him.

All this occurs in the same chapter: John 8.

The Savior’s enemies made the following similar but incredible statements about Him:

“Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan [half-Jew, half-Gentile] and demon-possessed?”  (John 8:48)

“Now we know that you are demon-possessed!”  (John 8:52)

And then the leaders ask Jesus in verse 53, “Who do you think you are?”

When Jesus walked this earth, some religious leaders believed that He was evil … and yet Scripture says that Jesus was “without sin.”

Why bring this up?

Because I deal with staff members and church leaders who write to me and talk to me and have come to this conclusion:

Their pastor is evil.

Are there evil pastors?

There might be.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever met one.

Yes, some pastors commit evil deeds.

And yes, some pastors are dysfunctional … have personality disorders … suffer from depression … and have areas of incompetence.

But does that mean that their character is evil?

Let me share with you four quick truths about so-called evil pastors:

First, some pastors are difficult to figure out.

I’ve heard a few pastors preach sermons that made little sense to me.  Their messages were disorganized and didn’t flow.  They made points that I couldn’t grasp.  They seemed to revel in creative interpretations that I didn’t think were justified.

But that doesn’t mean they were evil … just incoherent at the time I heard them.

I’ve worked with a few board members who couldn’t understand the direction I wanted to take the church.  No matter how hard I labored, they couldn’t mentally envision the kind of church I had in mind.

But their lack of understanding didn’t make me evil.

However, in the case of several board members, when they couldn’t understand me, they labeled me “dangerous” and felt justified in harming my ministry.

Jesus could be hard to figure out, too … but did that make Him dangerous?

Please remember: Just because you don’t understand a pastor’s sermons or plans doesn’t make him evil.

Second, some pastors believe they must obey the Lord before they obey the board.

Jesus said in John 4:34: “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

The night before He died, Jesus told His Father in John 17:4: “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.”

Jesus’ ministry agenda came from His Father, not from His disciples.  He was always conscious of what the Father wanted Him to do, while Jesus tended to ignore the agendas of His friends, followers, and foes.

Like most pastors, when I was ordained to the gospel ministry, I promised to preach “the whole counsel of God.”

For me, this meant that I was duty bound to preach from the entire Bible … never to avoid difficult topics … and to speak prophetically about the issues of our day.

In one church I served as pastor, an ex-board member – who had left the church a year before – decided to visit a Sunday service … and railed against me afterwards.

My sin?

He felt that I was “preaching at him” … so he immediately began a campaign to get rid of me as pastor.

He never considered that the Holy Spirit was trying to speak to him … and even warn him …  not to attack me.

Sometimes I’m shocked by how often a board member concludes, “Since the pastor stubbornly disagrees with me on this issue, I’m going to get him.”

Please remember: Just because your pastor disagrees with you doesn’t make him evil because in his mind, he’s simply obeying the Lord.

Third, some pastors are viewed suspiciously because they offended a leader’s friend(s).

Have you ever been a supervisor?

Imagine that you’re supervising an employee who has clearly been insubordinate to you.  So you call him into your office and warn him not to do it again.

He immediately goes to four of his friends in the company and says that you’ve been mistreating him … but you aren’t aware of what he’s saying.

I’ve had this precise scenario happen to me as a pastor … only the person I supervised was a staff member.

Even though church bylaws stated that the senior pastor was responsible for supervising ministry staff members … when a staff member didn’t like what I said to him or her, rather than submit to my authority … they would invariably find a board member and complain to him about me.

The biblical way for the board member to handle such a situation is to say to the staff member, “Let’s go talk to the pastor about this right now.”

But the board member usually wouldn’t do that.  Instead, he and the staff member would form an alliance together … both agreeing on one thing:

The senior pastor must be evil because he wounded the staff member.

But the real evil here is that the board member was seduced by the staff member into taking the staff member’s side without ever talking with the pastor.

In this scenario, it’s crucial that the board member circle back and speak with the senior pastor because (a) the staff member might be exaggerating the situation, or (b) the staff member might be lying as a way of retaliating against the pastor.

Please remember: just because a staff member tells someone that the pastor mistreated him doesn’t mean it’s so.

Finally, some pastors have become special targets of Satan.

Years ago, I saw a Christian film called Whitcomb’s War.  While the production values were rather crude, the film’s message still rings true.

Pastor Whitcomb arrives as the new pastor of a troubled church.  As he sets up his office upstairs, demons begin setting up their headquarters in the church basement.

Much of the time, the demons didn’t intend to attack the pastor directly … but to attack him through individuals in the church.

As a pastor, I’ve been attacked by people outside the church and inside the church.

When you’re attacked by people outside the church … like city planners or church neighbors … the congregation tends to unite together in purpose and in prayer.

But when you’re attacked by people inside the church … especially board and staff members … the congregation tends to follow the person they like/know best and division results.

And all the while, Satan laughs.

Jesus told His opponents in John 8:44:

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Even though Jesus hadn’t done anything wrong in God’s eyes, once His opponents labeled Him as being demonic … and thus evil … they felt justified in destroying Him.

And even when a pastor is innocent before God, if a few detractors label him as evil, they feel justified in using every weapon in their arsenal to run him out of their church.

Please remember: just because a pastor’s detractors call him evil does not provide justification for destroying him personally or professionally. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to get Christian churches to wake up to this important point:

The way Christian leaders treat each other in private will eventually affect the congregation in public.

What are your thoughts about what I’ve written?

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Christian Power Plays

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on March 12, 2014| 2 Comments »

A friend recently told me about a church that did something unspeakable.

During Sunday services, the picture of a church worker was flashed onto the video screens.  The worker was identified by name along with a crime that he had allegedly committed.

And then the congregation was told to stay away from this individual.

However, when someone contacted the local police department, the individual in question hadn’t committed any crime at all.

But not long afterwards, it was discovered that that church’s pastor was sexually involved with a woman.  He later resigned.

I know the name of the church and the name of the pastor because I visited there on three occasions … but I didn’t stay because I could sense something was wrong.

And I was right.

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m still smarting from reading revelations from Frank Pastore’s book Shattered about a coup that some Christian leaders from my college and seminary wanted to execute many years ago.

You can read that article here: https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2014/03/10/blackballed-by-christian-leaders/

Employed by the school, Frank had been invited to a clandestine meeting of men he respected, during which time he was told that this group was plotting to overthrow the school’s president.

Frank wanted no part of it … but when he wouldn’t agree to their scheme, they slandered Frank until he lost his reputation … and his job.

Over the past four years, I’ve learned a lot about power plays inside the body of Christ … and they make me as sick as they made Frank Pastore.

Let me share with you four things I’ve learned about Christian power plays:

First, plotting in secret to get rid of a pastor or Christian leader is wrong.

Frank Pastore instinctively knew that plotting to overthrow the school president was evil.  I assume that the school has written grievance procedures for handling such concerns.

But for some reason, the plotters felt that using those procedures wouldn’t help them reach their objectives.

In the same way, factions in churches – including the official board at times – may meet in secret and plot to force out their pastor, even though church bylaws almost always specify the correct way to do that.

Why do such groups meet secretly?

Because the plotters lack the patience to do it the right way … or plotting makes them feel powerful … or they don’t want anyone to know who they are … or they don’t believe they can succeed unless they go underground.

I’ll bet those plotters tell their kids and grandkids all the time, “The ends does not justify the means.”

Then why is doing wrong okay for them?

Second, the key to getting rid of any leader is to smear his reputation with falsehoods.

The Gospels tell us those who plotted to kill Jesus had to resort to lying to get rid of Him.

They accused Him of sedition against Rome and blaspheming against God.  History records that both charges were false … but they worked at the time.

In Frank Pastore’s case, when he didn’t join the plotters, he says: “… they put a kinder, gentler hit on me – character assassination by slander and gossip.  To my face they acted as though nothing had changed.  But all the while, they were destroying my reputation.”

How in the world can professing Christians do this to a fellow believer?

Over the past few years, I’ve heard dozens of stories from pastors who have been forced out of their churches.  And in nearly every case, the plotters have lied to smear the pastor and gain adherents.

But friends, make no mistake: resorting to lies to get rid of a Christian leader is satanic. 

And when a believer joins forces with the father of lies, it’s always soul-damaging.

Please resolve that you will always tell the truth about Christian leaders – even those you don’t like – and that you will not pass on information unless you know it’s true.

Third, plotters will vilify anyone whom they view as a threat.

After his initial meeting with the plotters, Frank Pastore knew too much.  And when he wouldn’t go along with the plotters, they marked him for blackballing.

I can’t prove this, but my guess is that the pastor in my introductory story chose to vilify that worker by name because he knew too much about the pastor’s extracurricular activities.

Here’s how things often work behind the scenes:

Person/Group A does something wrong.

Person B observes/knows what they did … and Person/Group A knows that they know.

Person/Group A insinuates to Person B: “If I/we find out that you’ve told anyone about what we’ve done, I/we will make sure that you are blackballed.”

Because Person B has his own skeletons (don’t we all?), and doesn’t know what Person/Group A knows, Person B agrees to keep his mouth shut.

But because Person/Group A can’t take a chance that Person B will talk, Person/Group A privately blackballs Person B anyway.

This should never happen among Christians … but it does – all the time – especially when an innocent pastor is forcibly terminated.

One would hope that once Person B knows about the plot, Person/Group A would repent and drop the whole thing, but they usually don’t because …

Finally, the end game of the plotters is to take over their church/school/Christian organization.

Why did the Jewish leaders plot to kill Jesus?

Because He was becoming too influential … and they wanted their power back.

Why did the plotters in Frank Pastore’s story want to stage a coup against the school’s president?

Because they hoped to have more of a say on who the next president would be … and if they helped to choose him, they would have more say over school direction.

Why do factions and church boards plot to get rid of their pastor?

Because they believe the pastor has acquired too much authority and they covet that authority for themselves.

When I went through a horrendous conflict in a church that I served as pastor 4 1/2 years ago, I could not initially understand what the plotters were after.

My father-in-law – a veteran Christian leader – told me frankly, “Jim, it’s the same thing in every situation … this is all about power.”

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

When you don’t like your pastor … or your school’s president … or a self-proclaimed Messiah … you can handle it by the Spirit, or by the flesh.

Handle it by the Spirit, and everybody wins.

Handle it by the flesh, and everybody loses.

Your move.

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Is There Life After Church Ministry?

Posted in Conflict with the Pastor, Healing After Leaving a Church, Pastoral Termination, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on March 3, 2014| 5 Comments »

Since I left church ministry more than four years ago, I’ve had some good days and some bad days.

Mondays through Saturdays tend to be good days.  Sunday afternoons and evenings are good, too.

But Sunday mornings are rough.

Why?

Because Sunday mornings used to be the highlight of my week.  All my thoughts, energies, and prayers culminated in those two worship services, when I would stand before God’s people and bring them God’s Word.

I lived for Sunday mornings.

But now, Sunday mornings don’t seem so exciting … and like many pastors, I wonder:

Is there life after church ministry?

That’s what many ex-pastors want to know … whether or not they deserved being pushed out of church ministry.

I’ve written extensively on this topic, especially in my book Church Coup: A Cautionary Tale of Congregational Conflict.

Let me share four quick thoughts on this topic:

First, God retires many pastors from church ministry before they’re ready.

Neil Diamond once issued an album called Tap Root Manuscript.  There was a song on there called “Done Too Soon.”

After recounting the names of a host of famous people like Jesus Christ, Mozart, Genghis Khan and Buster Keaton, Diamond sang:

And each one lived, there’s one thing shared

They have sweated beneath the same sun

Looked up in wonder at the same moon

And wept when it was all done

For being done too soon

For being done too soon

Most pastors who have experienced a forced exit thought they would retire from church ministry around age 65 … on their terms … rather than much earlier … on someone else’s terms.

Their careers were definitely “done too soon.”

But as I look back on my situation more than 50 months later, I see that God retired me from church ministry because of His grace … and it takes a long time to accept that.

Jesus had to accept that His ministry was “done too soon” after only 3 years.

But this truth doesn’t mean that God is done with ex-pastors because:

Second, God has moved many ex-pastors into kingdom work.

Who is better qualified to do kingdom work than former pastors?

I have a friend who does conflict mediation for churches … and he went through pastoral termination three times.

I have another friend who trains Christian leaders worldwide … and he went through termination twice.

The list of pastors who were pushed out of their churches includes Jonathan Edwards … Billy Graham … and many well-known leaders and authors whose ministries have become much broader than a local church.

In fact, I’ve learned that most ex-pastors involved in kingdom work went through one or more forced exits … and that God had to fling them out of the church first.

Fourteen years ago, I took a doctoral class at Fuller Seminary taught by Dr. Bob Logan.  During every lunch period, Dr. Logan met with several students and asked us what we wanted to do after we received our doctorate.

I told him that I wanted to minister to pastors and churches that were going through conflict.  (Privately, I also wanted to write.)

There was no known pathway to turn my dreams into reality.  I planned to be a pastor until retirement and then think about conflict ministry … but God had other plans … and I’m glad He did.

Because every time a pastor calls me on the phone or a church leader sends me an email, I say to God, “Thank you, Lord, for calling me to this important work.”

Third, God takes care of His children … especially former pastors.

About 2/3 of the time I served as a pastor, I enjoyed a secure income with benefits.

My wife and I didn’t worry about medical bills … having the money for vacations … or saving money.

But when you suddenly find yourself out of your career field, you have to start practicing all those sermons you gave about “trusting God.”

Over the past 4+ years since leaving church ministry, my wife and I haven’t gone into debt and we’ve met all our obligations.

Sometimes the Lord has provided us with unexpected gifts.  Other times, He’s reduced expenses that we assumed were fixed.

While our income isn’t close to what it was five years ago, God has consistently provided for us, and for that, we praise Him!

The Lord knows how to take care of His servants.

Finally, God rearranges your priorities when you’re away from the church.

When I was a pastor, I wanted my priorities to look like this:

*God

*Family

*Ministry

But all too often, my priorities really looked like this:

*Ministry

*Family

*God

When you’re a pastor, the local church assumes a double identity: it’s both the source of your friendships and the source of your income.

And all too often, it creeps into first place on your priority list.

In fact, there were many times when I missed a family event because it seemed like I was married to my church.

But when you’re no longer a pastor, it’s natural for your priorities to look like this:

*God

*Family

*Ministry

And that can be a very good – and healing – thing.

If you know a pastor who has experienced forced termination, you can encourage him in two primary ways:

*Pray for God to use him mightily again … and to meet all his financial needs.

*Keep in regular contact with him.  (When people stop contacting you, you assume that they’ve turned on you.)

And if you are a pastor who has experienced forced termination, remember this adage I learned from my mentor Charles Chandler:

They can take your job, but they can’t take your calling.

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Why Laundry Lists Devastate Relationships

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , , on February 26, 2014| 2 Comments »

Have you ever had somebody recount a laundry list of your faults?

I’ve had this happen to me … and it’s devastating.

Political candidates from both parties use laundry lists against their opponents during election season.

Spouses pull out laundry lists when they’re frustrated with each other.

Employers compile laundry lists when they’re ready to let an employee go.

But most of the time, laundry lists aren’t just unjust … they’re downright evil.

Why do I say this?

This morning, I read Mark 15:2-4 in The Message:

Pilate asked him, “Are you the ‘King of the Jews’?”  He answered, “If you say so.”  The high priests let loose a barrage of accusations. 

Pilate asked again, “Aren’t you going to answer anything?  That’s quite a list of accusations.”  Still, he said nothing.

When pastors are under attack, their opponents compile lists of their “offenses,” just like the Jewish leaders did with Jesus.

Let me make four observations about such lists:

First, laundry lists are usually desperate attempts to end a relationship.

During my second pastorate, a group of seniors did not like the changes that the board and I were making – especially concerning music.

Since they didn’t want to leave the church, they sat in a room and compiled a list of all my faults – including those of my wife and children, too.

Then they presented their list to two board members, as if to say, “Look at this list!  He needs to go!”

That’s what the high priests did to Jesus.

The list compilers don’t want to talk things out … or negotiate … or reconcile in any way.

They want the object of their scorn to be (a) defeated, (b) removed, or (c) executed.

There’s just one problem:

Second, laundry lists rarely contain any impeachable offenses.

Heresy is an impeachable offense for a pastor.  So is sexual immorality … and felonious behavior … and even slothfulness.

If someone’s opponents have evidence of an impeachable offense, they don’t need a laundry list.

They only need the laundry list when they don’t have an impeachable offense … which tells us something.

If a pastor preaches that Jesus isn’t God … or he’s caught in a motel with his pants down … who cares if he once became upset at a staff meeting?

When the seniors created their laundry list against me, one of their charges was that I didn’t make the wife of the church drummer lengthen her dresses … as if that was my role.

And all their “charges” were that trivial … which is why the board defended me and the seniors eventually left the church.

Third, laundry lists are simply unfair.

I know someone who once worked for a major Christian organization.  One day, his supervisor told him that he was doing 13 things wrong.

How could my friend possibly make changes in 13 areas at once?

He couldn’t … and was dismissed soon afterward.

That’s lazy … even angry … supervision.

Most people can’t emotionally handle having someone point out more than one offense at the same time … much less 13 … and that goes for children, husbands, and pastors.

(And students: remember when your teacher gave you back your term paper and it was full of red marks?)

The biblical principle is to bring up offenses as they arise.  Ephesians 4:26-27 says:

“In your anger do not sin”; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

If I’m angry with you for something you did, but I hoard your offense rather than speak to you about it, whose fault is that?

MINE!

And if you continue to commit offenses, but I never say or do anything about them, whose fault is that ?

MINE!

And if I come to you one day … and bitterly hurl your offenses at you … and you don’t take it kindly … whose fault is that?

MINE!

Christians would have far less conflict in their homes, workplaces, and churches if we’d just take Ephesians 4:26-27 to heart.

And when we don’t, guess who gains a foothold in our lives?

Satan.

Finally, laundry lists tend to indict their creators.

In Mark’s account, Jesus wasn’t guilty of any wrongdoing, while His enemies sought to cover up their plotting by trumping up charges.

The list makers intended to throw the spotlight onto a person they despised, but instead, they were revealed as being hypercritical, petty, and vindictive.

Their “barrage of accusations” really stood as an implicit confession:

“We don’t like Jesus one bit.  We don’t like His popularity … or His love for sinners … or His novel interpretations of Scripture … or His refusal to obey us … or the authority He’s been acquiring.”

And on and on and on.

Their laundry list was really about one thing: they hated Jesus.

And most of the time, those who use such lists expose their own hatred.

A church leader once came to me with a laundry list of accusations.  When he was done, I asked him, “So what you’re saying is that you’ve hated me all this time?”

He coyly admitted as much.

Do you know how it feels to work alongside someone that hates you … especially in a church?

It’s absolutely devastating.

If he had just spoken with me when his feelings first started surfacing, maybe we could have worked things out.

But when he harbored anger … without my knowledge … it ate him alive … and he poured it all out on me.

Then he felt better … and I felt like harming myself.

That relationship ended, as do most relationships where one person nails the target of their wrath with a laundry list of their faults.

If you want to get along with your family and friends, deal with issues as they arise … or take your pain to God in prayer.

Because once you toss a “barrage of accusations” at someone, it won’t be long before somebody gets crucified.

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Why Give a Terminated Pastor a Severance Package?

Posted in Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on February 24, 2014| 10 Comments »

When a pastor is dismissed or involuntarily resigns from a church without having another job, it is customary in the Christian community to give that pastor a severance package.  This is especially important if the pastor would like to stay and serve at the church but has been asked to leave by official church leaders.

Why give a terminated pastor a severance package?

1.   It usually takes at least a year for a pastor to find another ministry.  Because there are fewer church openings than ever today, finding a ministry job is a job.  A severance package allows the pastor to pursue his divine calling, which is why the Lutheran Missouri Synod passed a resolution in 1998 to give forced-out pastors a severance of one full year’s salary.

2.   Most pastors lack the required training and skills to land a secular job that pays them a livable wage.  Many secular jobs require a lengthy certification process – including further education, which costs money – and even if a pastor completes the requirements, there is no guarantee that anyone will hire him.  In addition, many secular employers are fearful that an ex-pastor may spend time trying to convert other employees or customers rather than doing his job.  Because of their divine call to ministry, pastors are often unsuited for other professions.

3.   Since pastors do not pay into unemployment, they are not eligible to receive it.   A severance package – which includes salary plus medical insurance – provides the pastor the best possible bridge to his next position.

4.   After a pastor resigns, he still has to meet his financial obligations.  He has to pay his mortgage, property taxes, and utilities; car payments and auto insurance; food and gasoline bills; and medical insurance for his family, among other payments.  When church leaders want a pastor to resign, but are unwilling to give him a severance agreement, the leaders seem to be engaging in retribution rather than moving toward reconciliation.

5.   The terminated pastor usually has to rebuild his life and ministry, and that takes anywhere from one to three years.  When pastors leave a church abruptly, it devastates them mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, often sending them into depression.  A severance package allows the pastor to pull away from ministry and promotes the healing process.

6.   Many parties carefully watch a church to see how they treat their pastor when he leaves, including: (a) church young people who are thinking about going into ministry; (b) new believers inside the church, who often have a strong connection to their pastor; (c) unbelievers in the community, especially the friends or relatives of church members; (d) the pastor’s supporters, many of whom will leave the church if they discover their pastor has been mistreated; and (e) prospective pastors, many of whom will turn down a church that mistreated the previous pastor.   When a church grants their pastor a severance package, it’s a tangible way of saying, “In spite of our differences, we want to assist you with this transition so that God can heal and bless both you and our church.”

7.   A good rule-of thumb is that the pastor should receive at least one month’s salary for every year of his tenure.  The absolute minimum length of the severance package should be six months, especially if the pastor was asked to resign.  If the pastor has been dismissed after more than six years of service, he should receive a severance package of at least one year.

Common Questions:

*What if our church can’t afford to pay the pastor a severance agreement?

Unless your pastor is guilty of a major offense (like heresy, sexual immorality, or criminal behavior), do everything you can to work things out so the pastor can stay and enjoy a fruitful ministry.  Bring in a mediator, church consultant, or conflict manager/interventionist to negotiate your differences.  Sometimes church leaders seek to dismiss their pastor prematurely without ever working through issues with him directly.  If you truly believe that the pastor needs to leave, then trust God to provide the funds when you need them.

*What if the pastor seems to have disqualified himself from ministry by his misbehavior?

If your pastor has a family, make sure that they are cared for financially.  Whatever the pastor has done to merit dismissal, his family members are likely not responsible.  And be careful of declaring a pastor who is innocent of a major offense as being “disqualified from ministry” as justification for not giving him a severance agreement.

*How should we pay the severance?

You can pay the pastor just like you’ve been paying him all along: either weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly.  If you don’t already use direct deposit, this would be a good time to start.  Some churches may choose to pay the pastor a lump sum up-front, or pay him half the money up-front and half at another time.

*What might happen if we choose not to pay a severance?

When you give your pastor a severance package, he may have enough money to move from your community, minimizing the chance that he will interfere in your church’s future plans.  If you don’t give him a severance package, he may not have the funds to move, and he may choose to start a new church in your community – and people from your church may constitute his initial mission field.

But more than anything, Jesus’ Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) applies here: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

*What are some of the stipulations church leaders can put into the severance agreement?

You can ask the pastor (a) not to sue the church; (b) not to start a new church within a certain mile radius; (c) not to disclose the terms of the severance agreement.

*When should the severance agreement be presented to the pastor: before or after his resignation?

If you plan to dismiss the pastor according to church bylaws, then present him with a written severance agreement as soon after you’ve met with him as possible.  The pastor should be permitted to take a few days and ask his attorney to review the document before he signs it.  If you plan on asking the pastor for his resignation, then he may ask for the outline of a severance agreement in writing first.  It is customary for the pastor to trade a unifying resignation letter for a generous severance package.

*Should we ask the congregation to approve or ratify the severance package?

If you ask the church to vote on the severance agreement, you will almost always foster congregational division.  Members will tend to vote on whether or not they like the pastor rather than the merits of the severance package.  It’s better for the official board to negotiate the package with the pastor directly and then announce an outline of the agreement with the congregation at a later time.  I’ve heard about church boards that “kick the can” to the congregation in hopes that they will vote it down.  In my mind, such behavior is despicable and unworthy of a Christian congregation.

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Five Questions Christian Leaders Can’t Answer

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on February 21, 2014| 6 Comments »

There are a lot of things in this world I don’t understand.  For example:

Why is one baseball pitcher paid more than $30 million per season?

Why did they have to kill off Matthew on Downton Abbey?

And why does anyone pay attention to Miley Cyrus?

There are also areas of the Christian church I don’t understand:

Why are so many Christians afraid to stand up for their faith?

Why are most churches unprepared for guests?

Why don’t pastors preach on controversial issues anymore?

We can talk about those issues another time.

However, I have five questions that center around conflict in churches – especially involving pastors – that continue to puzzle me:

First, why do so many Christians resort to lying to get rid of their pastor?

When a pastor is innocent of any major offense (like heresy, immorality, or felonious behavior), but a group in the church wants to push him out, why do they lie to get their way?

And why do so many gullible Christians believe the lies without checking their veracity?

And why do churchgoers believe the liars and proceed to shun their pastor?

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

I hear stories all the time from pastors whose forced resignations were preceded by one lie after the other.

Why do we permit this in the body of Christ?

Can’t figure it out.

Second, why is a forced-out pastor considered “damaged goods?”

In our day, if a pastor is forced to resign from a church, the chances that he can find another church ministry are poor.

Why do search teams make blanket judgments about such pastors without doing a little more homework?

Why does the Church that espouses grace for sinners withhold that same grace from pastors who have been battered and bullied?

I know men with sparkling credentials … who have grown churches … who are excellent speakers … who have proven their stability by leading the same church for 20 years … who have given their lives to the ministry … who can’t get a search team member to even return an email.

If Peter denied that he knew Christ in our day, would God’s people let him back into ministry?

Many pastors are forced out of their positions because they chose to obey the Lord rather than the board.

Shouldn’t we celebrate these men as heroes rather than ban them from church ministry for life?

Can’t figure it out.

Third, why don’t more denominational leaders stand behind pastors under attack?

When I became a pastor, I was told that my district minister was “a pastor to pastors.”

So I shared with him some concerns I had about my church.

That was a big mistake … because he later used what I shared against me.

If you’re a pastor under attack, and you’re looking for someone to confide in, think twice about trusting your regional minister.

Why?

Because they are usually more interested in keeping the church – and its money – in the denomination than standing for what’s right.

If you’re a pastor, and you’re under fire inside your church, and you’re thinking about asking your district executive for help, ask him this one question first:

To what extent will you stand behind me in this conflict?

If you get a wishy-washy political answer … which is likely … RUN!

Before I draw a parallel with Pontius Pilate … why don’t more denominational leaders stand up for their pastors?

Can’t figure it out.

Fourth, why aren’t more Christian leaders doing something about the problem of forced terminations?

In my book Church Coup, I quoted researcher Marcus Tanner from Texas Tech University about the increase in clergy terminations.

Tanner stated, “Everybody knows this is happening, but nobody wants to talk about it.  The vast majority of denominations across the country are doing absolutely nothing.”

If 1,500 to 1,800 pastors are leaving church ministry every month – with most of them forced out – then why are good people sitting around and permitting this evil to happen?

And don’t give me this “autonomy of the local church” stuff.  That’s just an excuse for Christian fear and dysfunction.

If pastors are being abused and battered and lied about, why are most Christian leaders silent?

Can’t figure it out.

Finally, why are congregations so blind when it comes to Satan’s influence?

Satan uses two primary tactics to destroy pastors and churches: deception and destruction.

Jesus said in John 8:44 that Satan is a liar and the father of lies … and was a murderer from the beginning.

Deception and destruction … two words that are easy to remember.

Anytime that lies are being spread through a church … Satan is involved.

Anytime that someone is trying to destroy a pastor … Satan is involved.

And yet, when Christians are in the midst of a conflict involving their pastor, some attribute the chaos and consternation to anyone and everyone except the evil one.

Why are believers so easily fooled?

Paul wrote about Satan in 2 Corinthians 2:11, “For we are not unaware of his schemes.”

But during a conflict, most Christians seem spiritually deaf and blind.

Can’t figure it out.

It’s high time that Christians took the time to study and practice what the Bible has to say about church conflict.

Or else Jesus’ church is going to have an increasing number of questions that it can’t answer.

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Think Twice Before Terminating a Pastor

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on February 7, 2014| Leave a Comment »

The most-read article on this blog is called “If You Must Terminate a Pastor.”  It’s been viewed 3 times more than any other article, indicating that many church leaders seek help with this problem.

Right now, I’m working on an e-book targeted for church decision makers – especially church boards – that are thinking about removing their pastor from office.  Tentatively, the first chapter is about why pastors are special … a consideration most decision makers block from their minds when they want to remove their shepherd.  Here is an excerpt from that initial chapter in draft form.  Feel free to comment.  

__________

I know a lot about pastors, far more than I know about people in any other profession.  My grandfather was a pastor.  My dad was a pastor.  My father-in-law and step-father were pastors.  (They were both missionaries, too.)  In seminary, I got to know professors who had dedicated their lives to training pastors, as well as fellow students who sensed God’s call to ministry.  In my own life, I’ve held eight church positions over thirty-six years, and today I work with pastors from various denominations in a non-profit ministry.  I like pastors.

But as a church decision maker, it’s possible that your experience with pastors has been limited.  Maybe the only pastors you’ve known are the ones that have served your present church.  Or maybe this is your first assignment as a church decision maker and you’ve been a bit surprised by what really goes on behind-the-scenes.

Let me share with you several truths about pastors that you need to keep on your frontal lobes as you consider removing your pastor from office:

First, your pastor has been called by God to ministry. 

Through a convergence of events that He orchestrated, God selected your pastor – out of thousands of individuals – to serve Him in church ministry.  The call may have come all at once like a bolt of lightning, or it may have come upon your pastor gradually over time.  But your pastor did not call himself to ministry – God called him.

My Old Testament professor in seminary, Dr. Charles Feinberg, used to tell prospective pastors, “If you can do anything other than being a pastor, do it.”   Why did he say that?   Because the best pastors are the ones who know that God has called them and don’t quit when things get rough.  Many seminary students have no idea what it’s like to be a pastor, and if they really knew what it takes, the majority would probably drop out.  The hours are long.  The pay isn’t great.  The emergencies never stop – and neither does the criticism.  Especially the criticism.

Many years ago, a man who was a bit odd asked if we could meet for lunch.  He didn’t come to church very often.  He wasn’t a member.   To my knowledge, he had never volunteered for any ministry.   He didn’t have any friends at church.  But during our lunch together, he tried to tell me how to preach.   I had a style that I had developed over more than thirty years, and this occasional attendee was going to tell me how to teach God’s Word?  He could barely put two sentences together.

Not every person who claims that God has called him or her to ministry has really been called.  The call must be confirmed through a process called ordination, which is done by a candidate’s local church.  Although there is no one way to become ordained, the process usually involves the candidate writing out his conversion experience and call to ministry, along with a summary of his biblical beliefs. Then the ordination council – usually composed of pastors from other churches as well as laymen from the candidate’s congregation – examines the candidate, posing questions designed to test his knowledge of Scripture and theology.

When the time of examination is concluded, the candidate is dismissed, and members of the council deliberate as to whether or not the candidate should be ordained.  If the council recommends ordination, the ordination ceremony takes place a few days later – usually in front of the entire congregation – where the pastor takes ordination vows and his call to ministry is officially recognized by those who know him best.

How much do you know about your pastor’s call to ministry?  Do you know when and where he was ordained?  Do you know the name of the church that ordained him?

My friend Charles Wickman, who was a pastor for many years, was fond of saying that a church should celebrate their pastor’s call to ministry on an annual basis as a way of saying, “Our pastor is God’s man for this church.”   When was the last time your church celebrated your pastor’s call to ministry?

This does not mean that you can never remove your pastor from office.  But it does mean that you need to tread lightly if you seek to remove him.   God had His hand on your pastor at one time.   Could that still be the case?

Second, your pastor was assigned by God to your particular church.

While God calls individuals to church ministry in general – which is recognized through ordination – He calls specific pastors to specific churches … recognized through an investigative process often known as candidating.

When a search team from your church initially contacted your pastor, many people were obviously impressed by him.  The search team and pastor probably traded emails, phone calls, and written documents, maybe leading to an interview via Skype.  Then the pastor was invited to visit your campus and meet members of the search team, and if they were sufficiently pleased, your pastor later preached before the congregation and did a question-and-answer session before the entire congregation, the church board, and other relevant groups.

If the search team and governing board received positive feedback about the candidate, then your congregation probably took a vote and invited the candidate to become your pastor.   After such a lengthy investigative process, many people in your church undoubtedly concluded that God had called your pastor to your church.

There’s also a sense in which your church hired your pastor, and any employee who is hired can also be fired.  But when pastors talk about leaving their home and moving their family to serve a new congregation, they invariably tell people that God called them to that church.  I’ve observed that whenever a pastor initially comes to a church, many people refer to the pastor’s call, but if the pastor later finds himself in hot water with church leaders, the language changes. People start dropping the term “call” and start saying that the pastor was “hired” instead.  When leaders stop referring to the pastor’s call, they imply that God wasn’t involved in bringing your pastor to your church and that your leaders were the real reason he came.  But this doesn’t change the fact that at one time, the leaders and congregation of your church believed that your current pastor was God’s man for your people.

Ask yourself: if God clearly wanted him to come here, what evidence do we have now that God wants him to leave?  Regardless of how you currently feel about your pastor, please do not factor God out of your discussions and deliberations.  Just as church leaders sought God’s will when your pastor first came, so too church leaders need to seek God’s will if your pastor’s time at your church is drawing to a close.

__________

If you were a church decision maker, and you were contemplating forcing your pastor to resign, how much weight would the above arguments have on you?  Let me know.

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Do Churches Exist for Their Pastors?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on January 31, 2014| Leave a Comment »

There’s a theory I’ve been toying with recently.  It sounds a bit cynical … and maybe it is … but I wonder about it anyhow.

How many churches exist primarily to pay their pastor’s salary?

You ask, “Jim, isn’t that backwards?  Don’t pastors exist to serve their churches?”

Yes, I believe that’s the way it should be … but in thousands of cases, that’s not how things really work.

Let me explain my thinking.

According to church growth experts, only 15-20% of all churches in America are growing numerically … which means that 80-85% of churches are either stagnant or declining.

In my experience, churches that:

*are growing have an outreach-oriented vision … are willing to take risks … make tough decisions … and preach God’s Word with authenticity and conviction.

*aren’t growing exist primarily for themselves … refuse to take risks … punt on tough decisions … and preach God’s Word so that nobody is offended.

Since at least 80% of all churches are stagnant or declining, isn’t it safe to assume that 80% of all pastors lead stagnant or declining churches as well?

If Jesus is truly God incarnate … the Savior and Lord of All … Giver of the Spirit … and the Prince of Peace … then why are so many churches not doing well?

In my view … especially among small and medium-sized churches … too many churches exist primarily to pay their pastor.

Let me give you an example.

Pastor Joe was called to Fellowship Church five years ago.  Everyone likes Joe’s personality, family, and preaching.  In fact, Joe has made many friends throughout the congregation.

But during Joe’s tenure, the church has gone from an average Sunday attendance of 165 down to 115 … and to be honest, nobody really cares.

Why not?

Because Joe loves the congregation, and they love Joe … and as long as the church can pay Joe and keep him around, everyone feels fine.

Joe doesn’t want to do anything to upset this lovefest.  His wife seems content.  His kids like their friends and community.  And Joe’s position feels secure.

He earns a decent salary … along with benefits and retirement … and he has no plans to go anywhere.

But if Fellowship Church is really going to grow, Joe needs to reverse the trend by engaging in activities like these:

*He needs to reinvent himself as a pastor … by visiting growing churches … attending leadership conferences … finding a mentor and/or coach … and even going back to school.

*He needs to start preaching that people are lost without Christ … that hell really exists … and that Fellowship’s people need to share their faith with their networks.

*He needs to lead the congregation in creating a vision that specializes in reaching lost people for Christ.

*He needs to recruit and train several new board and staff members … and make sure that several current leaders (who are holding the church back) step down for good.

*He needs to create a climate where risk-taking is expected … even if there are occasional failures … because most churches that play it safe don’t grow.

Whenever Joe gets tempted to create growth plans, he can envision the following … because he’s seen it happen to other pastors:

*several leaders might leave the church (and take their friends with them).

*some of Joe’s friends might leave as well.

*Joe might have to endure increased criticism … frequent misunderstandings … and uncomfortable board meetings.

*a faction might even arise and demand Joe’s resignation for disturbing congregational peace.

*congregational giving might plunge to a level where the church can’t afford to pay Joe anymore.

Consciously or unconsciously, Joe weighs the costs.  Even though attendance and giving have been steadily decreasing, everyone seems happy with Joe … and Joe is happy he can provide for his family.

But if Joe really takes the steps necessary to see his church go forward, Joe’s job … and security … and retirement … might all be on the line.

So Joe puts in his time … pastors his people … teaches on Sundays … and plays it safe … and his church continues to decline.

How do I know so much about pastors like Joe?

For my first 9 years as a pastor, I was Joe.  My ministry was boring … few lives were changed … and I played it safe … but I was dying inside … and my church was dying, too.

Until I heard a series of tapes by Bill Hybels that changed my life and ministry forever.

With God’s help, I reinvented myself as a pastor … focused on the Great Commission … changed my preaching … hired needed staff … and took risks.

In fact, I put everything on the line for the gospel.

Was it easy?  No.

But I felt alive … and my church came alive.

I let God worry about my salary and retirement … and He never let me down.

Remember what happened to the steward who buried his single talent in the ground?

He walked away with that one talent … but displeased his Master … who expects that His managers will invest and multiply their talents for His cause.

When churches exist for pastors, they stagnate and decline.

When pastors exist to advance and expand Christ’s kingdom, churches grow and prosper.

Let me conclude with a poem that describes the ministries of all too many church leaders.  Dr. Curtis Mitchell from Biola College claimed it was found on a tombstone:

Here lie the bones of Nancy Jones

For her life held no terrors

She lived an old maid, she died an old maid

No runs, no hits, no errors

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Holding Grudges Against Pastors

Posted in Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on January 24, 2014| 2 Comments »

Have you ever had someone come up to you and tell you how upset they’ve been with you because you once wronged them?

One afternoon when I was in college, I was walking toward my car when someone called out my name.  I turned around to see a young woman I had known for several years at church.

She wanted me to know that she had been upset with me for a long time because she liked me and I hadn’t reciprocated the way she wished.

She asked me to forgive her for all the animosity she held toward me.  I told her I forgave her … she felt much better … but I don’t ever remember seeing her again.

Did I need to know how angry she had been with me?

I bring this up because some Christians carry grudges for months … if not years … against other Christians … especially against their pastors.

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26-27: “In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

At least four principles about grudge-holding arise out of this text:

First, we all feel angry when we sense we’ve been violated.

It’s not a sin to feel anger.  For example, I instinctively feel angry when another driver tailgates my vehicle on the freeway.

Years ago, I didn’t always handle such situations with maturity … but I’ve learned how to control my anger much better … although I still have my moments.

Although our anger antenna isn’t infallible, that initial dose of anger may be God’s way of saying, “You’ve just been violated.  Don’t make it worse.”

There’s nothing sinful about feeling angry … Paul says so himself … but we shouldn’t nurse our anger.

We need to learn how to release it as soon as possible … and most of us acquire this skill as we mature.

Second, we need to resolve our anger as soon as possible.  

Many years ago, I said something in a sermon that ticked off a particular woman.  After the service, she and her husband vented to another couple, and they immediately left the church.

Why involve that couple when the woman was upset with me?

She eventually did speak with me about the issue, but by that time, the couple was long gone.

Most church conflicts and forced pastoral terminations occur because people spread their personal animosity toward their pastor to others.

Why?

Because they lack the courage to speak with their pastor themselves, they search for allies, hoping that (a) someone else will carry their offense, and (b) someone else will deal with the pastor so they won’t have to.

But this kind of thinking is counterproductive.

If you’re angry with your pastor, then (a) speak to him directly, or (b) forgive him privately … and let it go.

Third, deal with offenses as they arise.

In his book Love in Hard Places, theologian D. A. Carson tells about the time a Christian friend told Carson that he wanted a private word with him because Carson had offended him.

So the two of them arranged a meeting, and Carson’s friend related an incident that had happened twenty-one years earlier.  Carson and his friend were having a theological discussion and his friend quoted a few words from an author who had written in French.  Because Carson grew up speaking French, Carson repeated the French words after his friend because he was unconsciously correcting his pronunciation.

Carson’s friend didn’t say anything at the time, but several decades later, he told Carson, “I want you to know, Don, that I have not spoken another word of French from that day to this.”  Carson apologized for offending his friend, but upon later reflection, Carson felt “there was something profoundly evil about nurturing a resentment of this order for twenty-one years.”

I agree wholeheartedly.

I once had a staff member come to me and share a list of purported offenses I had committed against him.  The list went on and on.  Finally, I stopped him and asked, “So what you’re telling me is that you’ve hated me all this time?”  His reply: “Until recently.”

Here I was … meeting with him regularly … assuming everything was all right between us … trusting him as a ministry colleague … but all the while, he had been collecting grievances against me.

After he dumped his load on me, he felt better, but I plunged into depression.  I started to wonder, “How many other people in this church feel the same way about me?”

Paul’s admonition is to resolve your anger before the sun goes down … to address the issue at your first opportunity … to repair your relationship as soon as possible … but not to wait 17 months, as that staff member did.

That incident still bothers me to this day.

Finally, unresolved anger gives Satan church entry.

Let’s assume that Satan assigns a demon to every local church.  It’s that demon’s charter to use whatever means are necessary to destroy that church.

So that demon begins to probe the hearts of church leaders … trying to find those who are bitter … especially against their pastor.

And when the demon finds such an individual, he coaxes that person to tell others about his or her anger.

I have a pastor friend who served a church for several years, but nothing he was trying was working.

People began making charges against the pastor … only they didn’t tell the pastor directly.

So a consultant was called to the church to investigate.

One of the few charges against the pastor involved a tiny incident that had happened two years before at a church event.

When the incident was brought to the pastor’s attention, he couldn’t recall it at all.

If I had been the consultant, I would have thrown out the charge at that point.  A minor incident from two years before shouldn’t have any bearing on a pastor’s present status.

But it did … and was a contributing factor that led to the pastor’s eventual removal.

But evidently no one said to the accuser, “How could you nurse that grudge for so long?”

There should be a statute of limitations on the offenses Christians commit against each other.

For example, in my state, the statute of limitations for:

*general assault or battery is two years.

*medical malpractice or fraud is three years.

*breach of a written contract is four years.

The less serious an offense, the shorter the statute of limitations should last.  The more serious an offense, the longer the statute of limitations should last.

And yet when it comes to pastors, small incidents have a way of being magnified into spiritual and moral felonies … and this does not honor God or grow churches.

If you still nurse a grudge toward a pastor from your past, I encourage you to do one of two things:

*Either forgive the pastor unilaterally and let the incident go, or …

*Contact the pastor directly and try to reconcile your relationship.

Why do you think so many Christians nurse grudges against their pastors?

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That Independent Streak in Pastors

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, tagged , , , , on January 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Not long ago, a pastor told me that a key leader in his church was angry with him.

When I asked the pastor why, he replied that he had refused to marry that leader’s daughter because her fiancée was not a professing believer.

The leader’s attitude seemed to be, “I help pay your salary and volunteer my time around here, so my daughter is entitled to be married in my home church by my pastor.”

The pastor’s attitude seemed to be, “I promised to obey the Word of God at my ordination, and since Scripture forbids the marriage of a believer to an unbeliever, I cannot in good conscience perform that wedding.”

I’ve had church members say to me, “Come on, pastor, can’t you be flexible in this case?  It would really mean a lot to our family.”

I understand that sentiment completely … but the answer still has to be “no.”

But when a pastor doesn’t do something that a prominent member wants him to do, conflict can easily break out.

Pastors are asked to do many things they simply cannot do, either because God’s Word condemns a practice, or because their conscience won’t permit them to do it.

For example, in the churches I’ve pastored, I’ve been asked to:

*Publicly support home schooling while condemning the public school system.

*Stop preaching on any topic that’s even remotely political.

*Give weekly altar calls.

*Forbid the youth from attending Christian rock concerts.

*Go back to singing the old hymns.

*Wear a suit every Sunday (long after I ditched the suit altogether).

*Insist that my two-year-old son sit in the morning worship service.

*Tell people at a funeral that their deceased loved one was in heaven when I didn’t know his/her spiritual condition.

In each of the above cases, I said “no.”

I’m sure that when I refused, I upset some people … but had I said, “Yes,” I would have upset even more.

And more than anything … especially on the preaching issue … I would have upset the Lord.

Most … if not all … pastors believe that they work primarily for the Lord.

So when a board member says to a pastor, “I insist you do this,” the pastor’s attitude may come off as, “I work for the Lord, not for you.”

That board member then interprets the pastor’s attitude as one of non-cooperation … or even defiance … and the board as a whole may start to think, “We can’t control this guy … and he seems insubordinate.  Let’s get rid of him.”

I believe that this independent/control dichotomy is one of the main reasons why there is so much friction between pastors and board members today.

The board forgets that their pastor has been called to ministry by Almighty God … and that call has been confirmed by God’s people through the process of ordination.

Ordination does not confer infallibility (nor insensitivity) on a pastor … but it does mean that the pastor’s call to lead and preach has been recognized by his home congregation.

My friend Charles Wickman, founder of the Pastor-in-Residence program and author of the book Pastors at Risk, told me on several occasions that he believes that every local church should celebrate the anniversary of their pastor’s call to ministry on an annual basis.   It’s a way of reminding the congregation, “This man isn’t ours to control.  This is God’s man.”

Yes, pastors need to be sensitive to the needs and wishes of the board, the staff, and the congregation … and sometimes, they aren’t.

For example, on one occasion, the elders of my church were evaluating my preaching at a retreat.  The quietest board member told me, “I don’t like it when you elevate your favorite baseball team at the expense of my favorite team.”

He was right …  I did that several times a year.

Since it wasn’t a big deal, I stopped.

But when a board member once told me that I couldn’t raise money … I was not a happy camper … and justifiably so.

While this topic needs further exploration, let me ask you:

Do you know how and when your pastor was called into ministry?

Before you insist that he follow your dictates, find out … and you just might learn why he acts the way he does.

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