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“Lord, I Don’t Want to be a Prophet!”

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Fighting Evil, Pastoral Termination, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on August 22, 2012| 15 Comments »

I have a spiritual gift I wish I didn’t have.

The gift of prophecy.

I wish the Lord had given me the gift of exhortation, or giving, or healing instead.  But I wasn’t consulted in the matter, because the Lord distributes the gifts as He wills (1 Cor. 12:11, 18).

I’ve taken many spiritual gift tests … and asked others to take those same tests with me in mind.  In fact, I took a class called “Discerning Your Ministry Identity” for my doctoral program, and the results always come out the same.

Teaching is my top gift.  Prophecy is second.

I can’t foretell the future, so please don’t ask me who’s going to win the World Series or the election in November!

But I do sense the freedom to speak openly and candidly about cultural and personal issues from a biblical standpoint.

Here’s how this gift – featured in 1 Corinthians 14 – manifests itself in the life of a modern-day prophet:

First, prophets are drawn to controversy.  I first discovered this at age 19.  When I taught publicly, I wanted to talk about issues that others wouldn’t talk about.

Stephen Brown, author, pastor, and radio preacher, lived by this motto whenever he preached:

WHEN IN DOUBT, SAY IT.

Brown believed that whenever a pastor said something unplanned, those words would be more memorable and impactful to a congregation.

Maybe so … maybe not.

Some of the best things I’ve ever said … and some of the stupidest … occurred when I practiced that motto.

But like the prophets of old, sometimes I have to say things … because God’s word is like a fire in my bones.

Second, prophets feel free to talk about any subject.

Over the years, while having conversations with pastor friends, I’ve discovered that many of them are uncomfortable talking about certain issues from the pulpit.

Examples?

Giving to God’s work.  Sex … even inside marriage.  Homosexuality.  Couples who live together outside marriage.  Hell.  The wrath of God.  Intelligent design and creationism.

And you don’t know how many times I wanted to wade into politics … but didn’t.

But a pastor with the gift of prophecy says to himself, “If I don’t speak about these issues from Scripture, how will people know God’s mind on these topics?”

This is why I’m drawn to people who do talk about these issues.

It’s why I thought the late Chuck Colson was the best Christian speaker I’ve ever heard.  When the Jim Bakker scandal broke in the late 1980s, I heard Colson publicly critique the prosperity gospel in a biblical, succinct, and devastating way.  He was a modern-day prophet.

It’s why I’ve appreciated Bill Hybels’ ministry over the years.  I used to become quite upset when Christians would criticize Hybels for watering down the gospel because I never found it to be true.  He gave the best messages I’ve ever heard on substitutionary atonement … and hell … and abortion … and homosexuality … and he never pulled punches in the process.

I’m currently writing and talking about the devastating effects that the forced termination of pastors has on Christians,  churches, and pastors and their families.  This is not a topic most believers want to hear about, but this problem is becoming an epidemic in our country … and people are leaving their churches … and even their faith … because of the way these situations are being handled in local churches.

Someone has to speak up … and pray that God’s people will pay attention.

As a wise man once told me, some practices inside Christian churches can only be changed by people who are angry enough to speak out.

Third, the prophetic gift can go against one’s personality.

My two favorite Bible characters are Jeremiah and Timothy.

They both shrank from their calls to ministry.

They both felt unsuccessful.

They both felt like quitting at times.

And they were both sensitive men.

God took a sensitive man like Jeremiah … called him to be a prophet … told him in advance that his ministry would fail … and then insured that he was always alone!

That’s how it feels at time to have this gift.

If God gives someone the gift of prophecy, shouldn’t He give it to a person with an iron will and nerves of steel?

But sometimes He gives this gift to a person with a tender, bleeding heart.

You feel like a spiritual schizophrenic.

Prophets may feel fear before they speak … but they go out and speak anyway … with the authority of God Almighty behind them.  As Paul said to the church at Corinth: “I came to you in weakness and fear, and much trembling” (1 Cor. 2:3).

But he still preached Christ to them … in the power of God’s Spirit.

Finally, prophets always pay a price when they use their gift.

Some prophets are abrasive and obnoxious when they exercise their gift.  Keith Green … whose music I love … believed God had given him the prophetic gift, but he had a habit of slamming people when he used it.  Before he died, he apologized for the way he used his gift.

Prophets are free to speak the mind of God to the people of God … they just have to do it in love.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:2, “If I have the gift of prophecy … but have not love, I am nothing.”

Four years ago, the state of California was getting ready to vote on the definition of marriage … that marriage was between one man and one woman.

I have pastor friends who chose not to speak on that topic, stating that they weren’t going to change anybody’s mind about it.

But I believed … and still do … that we preachers had the opportunity to clearly delineate what God’s Word says on this issue.  But as Paul says about prophecy, we needed to do it for people’s “strengthening, encouragement and comfort” (1 Cor. 14:3).

So I talked on “Defending Biblical Marriage.”  Gay marriage proponents loudly proclaim their position … and if we Christians are silent, don’t they win the argument by default?

When I gave the message, I knew some people would applaud me … some would attack me … and some would abandon me.

But I had to do it … and would do it again in a heartbeat … even though I believe that message angered the enemy … and that he gradually began to cause damage from that moment on.

The church of Jesus needs prophets who proclaim the whole counsel of God.

And when they do, we need to pray for them, encourage them, and stand behind them … even when they say something that others don’t like … or even we don’t like.

The alternative is for the church of Jesus Christ to be biblically illiterate, culturally irrelevant, and spiritually impotent.

I am not the body.  You are not the body.

I need your gifts … and you need mine.

Even the gift of prophecy.

Follow the way of love, and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy.  1 Corinthians 14:1

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Book Excerpt: What Happens to Clergy Killers? Part 1

Posted in Church Coup Excerpts, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Personal Stories, tagged , , on July 30, 2012| 9 Comments »

It’s been a while since I’ve presented an excerpt to my upcoming book, which should be published in September or October.  The book is a real-life story about a group of people who joined forces to force a pastor to resign … using any and all means at their disposal.

The last chapter of the book presents FAQs on this kind of conflict.  In most churches, there are churchgoers who know which perpetrators have launched an attack on their pastor … but to keep their friendship, they usually remain silent.

I’ll divide this question into two parts.  Here’s the first part:

What usually happens to the perpetrators?

Realistically?  Nothing.  Biblically, however, perpetrators must be corrected before they strike again. This can be done by staff members, the governing board, or deputized members.  However, if a transitional/interim pastor is hired after the pastor’s departure, he may have to oversee this thankless task.  (Some transitional pastors are trained to deal with powerbrokers and request absolute authority before being hired.)  Unrepentant individuals who target their pastor sense they are immune from correction and feel free to use the same template with the next pastor.  However, in such situations:

Peace mongering is common. With tranquility and stability reigning as premium values, congregational leaders adapt to their most recalcitrant and immature people, allowing them to use threats and tantrums as levers of influence. Malcontents’ complaints never seem to cease. Unwilling to confront the constant critic, leaders set the table for the unhappy souls to have a movable feast of anxiety.  By appeasing rather than opposing, leaders give control to reactive forces.  Feed them once and leaders can be sure they will be back for more.[i]

As far as I know, no one took action against any non-board perpetrators in our situation.  My counsel to any successor is, “Watch your back.  They know the template.”  Trull and Carter note:

Generally speaking, an incoming minister does not need to fear those who speak well of the predecessor. Those who loved, appreciated, respected, and supported the former minister will likely do the same with the new minister.  The church member of whom the minister should be wary is the one who speaks ill of the previous minister. Those who criticize, find fault with, and express disappointment in the former minister will probably react to the new minister in the same way over time.[ii]

I have to confess, this really bothers me.  For decades, pastors have been told that whenever there’s a major conflict in a church they’re leading, they need to resign to keep the church intact. But why should the pastor leave while those who initiated the conflict are permitted to stay?  I suppose it’s easier to remove one person than many.  And spiritually-speaking, the shepherd lays down his life for the sheep, just as Jesus did (John 10:14-15).  But why don’t God’s people band together and ask the perpetrators to leave as well?  If the pastor can find another church, they can find another church – and it’s much easier for them than for him. I saw the highlights of a basketball game in which both players involved in a fight were instantly removed from the game.  Why doesn’t this happen in churches?  Aren’t we rewarding people for their divisiveness without expecting them to change?

If I was a layman and my pastor was pushed out by non-board antagonists, I’d approach a board member and say, “If you confront those who perpetrated this conflict, I will stay in this church.  But if you don’t deal with them, I will leave and find a church where they take Scripture seriously. And if anybody asks why I left, I will feel obligated to tell them.” While this may sound harsh, how can church leaders take no action against those who have driven out their minister?  Steinke writes:

In congregations, boundary violators too often are given a long rope because others refuse to confront the trespassers. When boundaries are inappropriately crossed and people are harmed, no one wants to name the violation.  It’s as if the disturbance of the group’s serenity is a greater offense than the viral-like behavior.  Boundary violators go unattended and suffer no consequences . . . . The lack of attention only enables the repetition of the invasive behavior.[iii]

Your thoughts?

        [i] Steinke, Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, 102.

        [ii] Trull and Carter, Ministerial Ethics, 129.

        [iii] Steinke, Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, 85.

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Why I Love London

Posted in Personal Stories on July 27, 2012| Leave a Comment »

During the Summer Olympics this year, I’ll be interested not only in the competition, but also in the city where it’s being held … because London is my favorite place in the entire world.

It’s crowded … and inexpensive hotel rooms are small … and the food isn’t all that great … and the weather can change on a dime … and Tube riders can be rude … and you’re under constant surveillance … but I’d rather be in London than anywhere else.

Why?

First, evangelical Christianity came to America through London.

The trappings of London are still Christian, even if the British people are Christian in name only these days.  But much of our spiritual heritage came from the Continent through London and then on to America.

For that reason, London feels like the closest thing to Christian National Park.

Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers, preached at the Metropolitan Tabernacle in London.

dscn0494

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, preached at what is now known as the Wesley Chapel.

John Wesley Statue in front of Wesley Chapel

Charles Wesley, John’s brother, is also buried in London.  (I haven’t yet found his gravesite.)  He wrote hundreds of hymns, including “And Can it Be That I Should Gain?”, “Christ the Lord is Risen Today,” “Hark! the Herald Angels Sing,” and “O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing.”

Isaac Watts, one of the world’s greatest hymnwriters (he wrote “At the Cross” and “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross” among others) is buried in Bunhill Fields (the non-Conformist, non-Church of England cemetery in The City, London’s financial district).

Tomb of Isaac Watts, Bunhill Fields

John Bunyan, author of Pilgrim’s Progress, is buried in Bunhill Fields as well.

Tomb of John Bunyan, Bunhill Fields

John Stott, my favorite Christian author, pastored All Souls Church on Regent Street for many years.

All Souls Church, Langham Place

And Martyn Lloyd-Jones, a master preacher and the pastor of Westminster Chapel near Buckingham Palace, preached there for decades.

Nicky Gumbel, creator of The Alpha Course, still serves as pastor of Holy Trinity Brompton in Knightsbridge.  Even though the church meets in an old Anglican church building, they offer a contemporary service that’s unforgettable.

Holy Trinity Brompton, London

And Handel wrote The Messiah at this house (now a museum).

Handel House and Museum

And then there are all the famous churches:

*Westminster Abbey

Westminster Abbey

*St. Paul’s Cathedral

St. Paul’s Cathedral

*St. Bride’s Church (the tower became the pattern for wedding cakes)

St. Bride’s Church

And so many more …

Second, London is the place where the British resisted the Nazis during World War 2.

Winston Churchill is my all-time favorite political hero.  Without Churchill, Americans might be pledging allegiance to Hitler rather than the American flag.

Statue of Winston Churchill

You can visit Churchill’s underground War Rooms in London and take photos of everything down there.  I’ve explored the war nerve center twice and find it thrilling to be able to stroll through the rooms where Western Civilization was saved.

Cabinet War Rooms

Even walking down Whitehall (the center of British government) toward Trafalgar Square is exciting.

Whitehall, Center of British Government

Third, you’ll find Beatles’ history everywhere in London.

The place most tourists make a beeline for is Abbey Road.  It’s in a residential neighborhood and doesn’t feel all that special … until you try and stop traffic by walking across the zebra crossing.  (For non-fans of the Fab Four, one of the most famous record album covers in history is when the Beatles were photographed walking across the street together for their last album, Abbey Road.)

Abbey Road Zebra Crossing

But London has many more Beatles’ sights, even though they may not look all that spectacular today:

*Trident Studios, where they recorded “Hey Jude”

Former Trident Studio Building

*Paul McCartney’s London home … just a five-minute stroll from Abbey Road Studios

Paul McCartney’s House, London

*3 Savile Row, where the band played their final concert on the rooftop

3 Savile Row

Finally, I love the general atmosphere of London.

I love the Tube (most of the time) …

Tube Train

and the variety of plays (many relatively inexpensive) …

Theatres in Central London

and the train stations (Charing Cross, King’s Cross, St. Pancras, Victoria Station, Waterloo Station, among others) …

St. Pancras Station

and Greenwich, where official time is kept …

Greenwich Park from Royal Observatory

and the Tower Bridge …

Tower Bridge

and anything to do with Sherlock Holmes …

Sherlock Holmes Pub

and the cultural treasures of The British Library (where they display the Magna Carta, ancient Bibles, scores from Beethoven, manuscripts from Jane Austen and Lewis Carroll, and handwritten Beatles’ lyrics, all in the same room.)

The British Library

I guess the reason I love London so much is that as a kid, it seemed so far away … like I could never, ever go there.  And yet so many of the people and things I loved are found there.  I thank God that He has allowed me to visit the city many times … and I hope to be able to visit many more times in the future.

And every time I watch Sherlock or Spooks, I get to go there again.

So I’ll be watching the Olympics not just for the athletes, but to see places where I’ve spent a happy morning or a leisurely afternoon.

And dreaming about the day when I can go back … even though I do London very inexpensively.  (Burger King and KFC cheap.)

The great Samuel Johnson, compiler of the English dictionary, once said, “When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.”

This is one man who will never tire of London.

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Funny Ways People Find Me

Posted in Personal Stories on July 25, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This past week, I was quickly reviewing the terms that people type into their search engines to find my blog.

I have no idea who these people are … I’m just given an updated list of search terms all day long.

Because I found some of them amusing, I thought I’d share them with you.  These are just from the past 30 days:

One person entered, “What is the bible way to replace a pastor of a church that dies?”

Short answer: If the church dies, they don’t need a pastor.

Someone else wrote, “I don’t floss dentist yelled.”

Was the person who entered that phrase a dentist or a patient?  (Floss next time.)

Another person entered, “Suggested baptist hymns to sing at a pastor’s termination.”

Seriously, if a pastor is forced to leave a church, who feels like singing?  (Maybe the way to tell who pushed him out is to listen carefully for who is singing.)

I do have one recommendation, though, if the pastor wants to sing a solo: “My Jesus, I Love Thee.”  Why?  Because the first verse goes like this: “My Jesus, I love Thee/ I know Thou art mine/ For Thee, all the follies/ Of sin, I RESIGN.”

Someone else entered, “When a husband says that you are being too nice to a neighbor.”

I have absolutely no idea how that person ended up at my blog!  I don’t do marriage counseling online.

Another person found me by writing, “Pastors are the problem.”

Not politicians?  Not drug dealers?  Not terrorists?  Pastors are the problem?

They should have told us that in seminary.

Who entered this term?  “Seminary classes on forced termination of ministers.”

Is that class designed for helping pastors avoid termination … or for helping antagonists produce termination?

Hmm.

Someone else entered, “Church conflict over soundboard.”

Whatever this conflict is really about, don’t turn on the sound while people are arguing!

On the other hand, what a great introduction for a sermon!

One person was very bold, entering, “pastor i don’t like you.”

I don’t think that was aimed at me … but someone sure is ticked at their pastor.  Maybe it’s time to find another church.

Here’s a doozy: “How to control a control freak wife.”

That one needs no comment.

And this one?  “what can the church do when their pastor dive the flock?”

Did they mean “divide the flock” or “dive into the flock?”

If some pastors did the latter, they could hurt an awful lot of people.

This one I don’t understand: “gay marriage lord stands forever.”

Is someone the “gay marriage lord?”  If so, who would that be?  Maybe that person is behind all the gay marriage in our country!  Let’s find out who it is!

I don’t get this one either: “how many pastors are freak?”

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say, “23,000,” but what do I know?  That would probably make a great PhD dissertation.

This one makes more sense: “what to do when wife want to leave church.”

You leave!  When wife want to do anything, you do it!

Let me conclude this little exercise by sharing two terms where one followed the other:

“freaks at church”

“Jim Meyer Christian teacher”

That about wraps it up!

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A Tale of a King and His Queen

Posted in About Restoring Kingdom Builders, Personal Stories on July 9, 2012| 6 Comments »

Once upon a time, there was a king.

The king ruled a land where His subjects felt unsafe … so he searched for another land where they could live.

He found a land nearby and proclaimed himself king.  Shortly afterwards, he built a castle.

Many people enjoyed visiting the castle and listening to the king’s wisdom.

But after many years, the king was getting old.  He looked around for a prince who could succeed him as king.

Many paraded themselves before the king, but he rejected them all.

The king finally chose a prince from another land, who brought along his wife, a princess.  They moved into the castle with the king and queen.

The families of the king and prince got along, and the people rejoiced.

One day, the king said goodbye, and left for another land.  The prince became the new king … his wife the new queen.

The new king loved the people, and they loved him.  Life was good.

But some citizens missed the old king.  They began sending him messages, complaining about the new king … who was not exactly like the old king.

The old king told the new king about these messages, which the new king appreciated because he wanted to be friends with everyone.

As the years passed, some citizens continued to complain to the old king … but this time, the old king did not tell the king about these complaints.

The kingdom grew, and the old castle felt confining, so the king built a new castle, which made the citizens happy.

Because the kingdom continued to expand, the king invited a prince from another land to help run things.  The king and the prince served together well, and the kingdom continued to prosper.

The king convened meetings of the knights of the round table, who provided advice on kingdom matters.  Everybody got along well.

But one day, due to a scarcity of resources, the knights began making decisions without the king’s knowledge.  Life in the kingdom became tense.  The king became frustrated.

The king and queen went on a journey to help people in another land.  When they returned, the knights took the queen and locked her in the dungeon, claiming she had broken kingdom laws.

The knights told the king that the queen must abdicate or they would abdicate instead.

The king was caught in the middle.  While he loved his queen, he also loved the kingdom.  The queen did not believe she had broken any laws and chose not to abdicate.

Meanwhile, friends of the king asked the knights if they could meet to discuss the situation.  The knights said yes …  then no … then yes … then no.

And then one night, the prince left the kingdom, riding off into the night for another land.

The king asked a counselor from a distant land to advise him.  During this time, the queen became very ill, worrying the king greatly.

After threatening to leave several times, the knights finally departed, causing the king to weep.  He loved the knights and could not understand why they put the queen in the dungeon.

Since the king now lacked knights, he asked several citizens to serve as temporary knights and give him counsel.  The king also asked the counselor to come to the castle and give him advice.  The counselor agreed.

The king called a meeting to tell the citizens that the prince and knights had left the kingdom.  When the king made his announcement, he was shocked by the reaction of the people … some of whom now wanted the king banished.

The king stayed in the kingdom, but was asked not to come near the castle so the temporary knights could choose permanent ones.

While the king waited, he and the queen heard rumors that were untrue and hurt them deeply.  Some of the rumors persist to this day.

The rumors were ultimately started by a dragon known for deceit and destruction who had also harmed other castles in the region.

The king decided to leave the kingdom … because he loved his wife and wanted her healthy … and because he loved the kingdom and wanted its citizens to be joyful and prosperous.

The king gave a final speech to the people in the castle.  The king and queen then said goodbye to the people they loved … and still love … very much.

The king and queen journeyed to a distant land to live … and learned more about why they were driven from the kingdom.

They learned that the queen was put in the dungeon so the king would leave the kingdom.

They learned that the charges against the queen were untrue.

They learned that the old king had been working with the knights and prince to banish the king from the kingdom.

They learned that this kind of tragedy happens to other kings in other kingdoms.

So they decided to do something about it.

The king decided to tell his story … consulting with experts … so the knights and citizens of other kingdoms would know what to do whenever parties conspired to banish a king from their kingdom.

The king and queen gained wisdom and strength from their experience.  They made plans to help other kings and knights and kingdoms so they do not have to go through similiar heartaches.

And they hope that everyone in a kingdom will unite to fight the dragon instead of each other.

They ask for your prayers and encouragement in this new endeavor.

And if a similar situation happens in your kingdom, they pray that the knights and citizens follow the constitution of the kingdom rather than make up their own rules.

May your king and kingdom be abundantly blessed until the real King returns.

(Since this is my 200th blog post, I thought I’d do something a little creative.  Thanks for reading!  On to 300 …)

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Celebrating a Spiritual Birthday

Posted in Personal Stories on July 6, 2012| 4 Comments »

How old are you spiritually?

While many people aren’t sure … it’s something I’ve always known.

As a kid, I constantly heard two themes repeated over and over:

*We’re all sinners

*Jesus died on the cross for sinners

Even at the age of 6, I knew I was imperfect and in spiritual trouble … but all the songs and lessons and sermons I heard told me that God loved me and that Jesus died for me.

One Saturday, our family went to the Broadway Shopping Center in Anaheim.  On our way home, I asked my parents if I could receive Jesus into my life … and they said I could.

My parents never pressured me into inviting Jesus into my life.  It was a decision that I made myself.

At 7:00 that night, my father and I knelt beside my bed, and he led me to faith in Christ.  After we prayed, I sensed a flutter in the region of my heart … and told my parents that I felt Jesus coming into my life.

The following year, my pastor/father baptized me.  I think I received a Bible with my name imprinted on it after my baptism.

There was a section between the Old and New Testaments for people to write down important events in their family’s life.  Since my parents told me to write down the date of my conversion, I decided to record it in my Bible … and wrote that:

“Jimmy Meyer and the Lord Jesus Christ were united in holy matrimony on July 6, 1960.”

When I finally learned what “holy matrimony” was years later, I felt a little stupid … but in retrospect, the term seems to fit both theologically and experientially.

Spiritual conversion is a mysterious and wonderful thing.

About half the people who receive Jesus can’t remember the date when they received Him … and about half can remember.

I’ve always remembered, although I’m not always sure how to celebrate the occasion.

My conversion to Jesus Christ has lasted for 52 years.  I’m more than half a century old in the Lord.

But I take no credit for my salvation.  The glory and honor all goes to Jesus Christ.

There is still a lot of controversy in theological circles about Calvinism and Arminianism.

How much of a part does God play in conversion?  How big a part do we as humans play?

I’ve always leaned more toward God’s part but understand why others feel differently.

But I hope we can all agree with these three lines from the Prince of Preachers, Charles Haddon Spurgeon:

“I believe the doctrine of election, because I am quite sure that if God had not chosen me I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love.”

That’s exactly how I feel … today and every day.

I am grateful to God that He gave me parents who loved Him and shared Christ with me.

I am thankful for churches that preached the gospel so I could grasp it, even at a young age.

I am indebted to many believers who modeled Christlikeness for me and taught me His Word.

But above and beyond all human intervention, I am glad for the grace of God in my life.

These lines – from “At the Cross,” my favorite hymn – perfectly encapsulate my feelings today:

But drops of grief can ne’er repay

The debt of love I owe

Here Lord, I give myself away

‘Tis all that I can do

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Time for a Holy Rant

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Christian Music, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 20, 2012| 9 Comments »

How do you feel about Christian churches these days?

Based on the many Facebook posts I read, some of you are very happy with your church … especially if the church is ministering effectively to your kids.  If so, that’s wonderful.

I’m struggling … and I wonder if it’s just me.

Last Sunday, my wife and I attended a megachurch in our community.  We’re in the process of church shopping and want to make sure we’re covering all the bases in our area.

We sat on the far right side of the worship center … but I didn’t know that the church puts its services online.  Suddenly, this huge boom camera goes flying over our heads … back and forth, back and forth.

If the thing fell, the coroner would have to be summoned.

So we moved to the back row in the next section over … but that didn’t stop the camera from hovering above us again.

At one point, it got so low that I could have reached out and touched it … but what I really wanted to do was stop the thing from flying over my head every thirty seconds!

Fortunately, the service was great, right?

I don’t even want to mention this … but here goes.  (Lord, if I’m just being a cranky former pastor, please forgive me.)

The music was fine … at least I knew some of the songs … but church music is starting to sound the same to me wherever I go – especially the lyrics.  You could take the lyrics to any song, jumble up their order, and write another song with them … and another … and another …

I’m starting to long for “Here I raise my Ebenezer” and “My sin, O the bliss of that glorious thought …”

The pastor was away, so there was a guest speaker … with the obligatory shirt tail out.  (Can someone explain this trend to me?  Is this somehow more biblical or godly … or is it all about being cool?  Would that same person dress like that while making a business presentation?  Just saying.)

The guest speaker had a great introduction – he actually used a story … and then never used another one.  Not one.  Zilch.  With little application, either.  And no outline.  It almost felt like he made up the sermon as he walked to the pulpit.

And he probably walked away with $2,000 per service for his efforts.

I’m just getting started, so if you want to turn back now …

There’s something else I’m struggling with: the lack of intellectual challenge in preaching today.

Can somebody please come up with something that makes us think?

One or two meaningful quotes would be nice … or a story about a great leader from church history … or a detailed explanation of a theological truth.

But instead, it seems like the preaching is designed for spiritual ninth graders.  I was in ninth grade once … but I don’t want to go back there again.

And one more thing … has anything happened in Christendom between the resurrection of Jesus and yesterday’s news?  While our preaching needs to be biblically based, when is the last time you heard a preacher refer to Martin Luther, or John Calvin, or the Anabaptists, or the Reformation?

To steal a quote from Howard Hendricks, modern-day Christianity is a mile wide and an inch deep.

And what’s happened to gifted vocalists and musicians?

If you love Jesus, and He gave you a beautiful voice, are you relegated to singing on the praise/worship team for all eternity?  Why are churches intentionally not allowing gifted vocalists to sing solos or duets anymore?  At our home church in Phoenix, we had one or two vocal selections every Sunday … and they were often the best part of the service … but my guess is that less than 10% of the churches I’ve visited allow such singers to use their gifts.

Can we please hear something besides praise/worship music all the time?

As I look back over more than 50 years of sitting in church, do you know what I remember best?

Illustrations and solos.

When I talked to a friend recently about my feelings, he told me I need to teach on a regular basis.

Oh, no … God couldn’t be telling me that, could He?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

This holy rant is now concluded.

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Remember Your Leaders

Posted in Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment! on June 18, 2012| 6 Comments »

There’s a trend I’ve been noticing recently, and I wonder if anyone else has picked up on this.

We have forgotten those leaders who have come before us.

The first time I visited London, I was struck by all the memorials dedicated to those who had died in various wars.  For example, here’s a memorial to those who died in World War 1 … right on the bank of The Thames:

Here’s another memorial to those who died during World War 2 nearby:

Memorial to Members of British Air Force Lost in WW2

This one says, “From mud through blood to the green fields beyond”:

Soldiers’ Memorial in London

In the back of St. Paul’s Cathedral (you can’t take photos inside), there are books filled with the names of those who have died in various British wars.

St. Paul’s Cathedral, London

Yes, I know that we Americans have our war memorials as well, like the moving Korean War Veterans Memorial …

Korean War Veterans Memorial, Washington DC

and the Vietnam War Veterans Memorial … with the name of each fallen soldier engraved …

Small portion of the Vietnam War Veterans Memorial, Washington DC

It’s appropriate that we remember the sacrifices of those who have died to keep our country free … and Great Britain feels the same way.

But what disturbs me … and like I say, maybe it’s just me … is how quickly we forget the Christian leaders who have done so much to spread the message of Jesus Christ.

Many of the churches in England don’t forget.  For example, here’s a list of all the priors, provosts, and bishops who have overseen the ministry at Southwark Cathedral:

List of Christian leaders at Southwark Cathedral, London

And sometimes you’ll discover that a few leaders have even been buried inside a church …

Final Resting Place of Bishop Talbot, Southwark Cathedral, London

Why bring this up?  What’s the point?

It seems to me that in many Christian churches, we purposely forget the leaders who started a church … and oversaw the construction of some of its buildings … and introduced innovations in missions or community outreach … and brought people to Jesus Christ.

But shouldn’t we honor them instead?

Hebrews 13:7 puts it this way:

“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you.  Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”

The context seems to indicate that these leaders were no longer around, that they were either living elsewhere or dead.

But the command remains: “remember your leaders …”

In my second staff position, there were nameplates of previous pastors on the wall in the lobby.  The nameplates simply listed a pastor’s name and the dates he served the church … going back to the late 1800s.  (One pastor served only one year.)

The nameplates didn’t tell you what kind of ministry a pastor had … or whether he was forced to resign due to moral failure or conflict … or whether he was married and had kids.

But the nameplates told people that:

*This church has been around a long time.

*This church has had many pastors … and survived them all.

*This church will survive the current one … even if you don’t like him.

*This church has a history … and it didn’t start the first day you showed up.

I really didn’t care much about those pastors when I served in that church … but I look at things differently today.

A few months ago, I visited the website of a church where a friend once served as pastor for many years.  My friend ran into some conflict there, and I know little about the details.

The church had an entire page devoted to its history … but my friend’s name was nowhere to be found.

It had been obliterated.

Whatever he did or didn’t do … however he left … doesn’t change the fact that he pastored that church for a long time.

I’m not trying to exalt pastors as some kind of super-heroes.  Far from it.

But I want us to realize that other Christians have made sacrifices so we can enjoy our churches today.

Nearly a decade ago, a church that I led as pastor was outgrowing its small worship center.

Since we had some available land, I gathered a group of leaders together and suggested we do some building.

The process was complex.  We had to agree on what we wanted … and hire an architect … and present drawings to the congregation for input … and hire a contractor … and deal with pesky neighbors … and raise hundreds of thousands of dollars … and deal with slow city government … and choose colors … and furnishings … and deal with the naysayers … and on and on.

I get tired just thinking about it.

In addition, the people who attended the church pledged vast sums of money to construct that worship center.  They made commitments for 3 or 4 years, some giving tens of thousands of dollars above their regular giving.

When guests visit that church … or any other church … how cognizant are they of its history?

As that worship center was being built, I saw church construction in a new light.

Every church building I drove past had a story behind it.

A church was growing … and someone had a vision … and persevered through a lengthy process of prayer and construction and fundraising … so a worship center could be built by faith.

I once heard someone say that this generation acts like history started the day they were born.

Too many young people feel entitled … and have little appreciation of those who came before them.

That’s true in the spiritual realm, too.

Just remember: Christian pastors and leaders and parents and friends made sacrifices so you could attend the church of your choice.

They didn’t do it so anyone would remember them … but remember them we must.

St. Paul’s Cathedral in London was built by the famed architect Christopher Wren.  He is buried in the cathedral’s Crypt.  The inscription above his tomb says in Latin, “Reader, if you seek his monument look around you.”

The dome of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London

If an architect is remembered 302 years after he finished construction on a church building, shouldn’t we know something about our spiritual leaders as well?

How can we best do that?

I’d like to hear your ideas.

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Two Very Special Men

Posted in Personal Stories on June 15, 2012| 4 Comments »

For most of my adult life, I have lived hundreds of miles away from two men who have meant a great deal to me.

These men are both Christians.

They have both been pastors and missionaries.

They both have been married to the same woman for decades.

They both continue to serve the Lord … even though they’re in their eighties.

And they both have meant a great deal to me for a long, long time.

The first man is my father-in-law, Earl.

I first met Earl when I was 19 years old.  He spent a weekend as a candidate for pastor at my home church in Orange County.  After his Sunday evening sermon, I asked him a question about speaking in tongues.  I don’t recall his exact answer, but I remember that it was emphatic.

The congregation voted to call Earl as pastor, but he and his family weren’t coming until June.  In the meantime, I was hired by the elders to work with youth during the summer.

So when Earl finally came to the church, he had a 19-year-old youth pastor on his hands.

A few weeks later, I began dating his oldest daughter.  Two months later, Earl told Kim and I that he blessed our relationship …  although that was before we stayed out all night after visiting Griffith Park Observatory.

Earl married us two years after we met.  While Kim and I kneeled onstage together (it was a hot day in August), Earl preached quite a lengthy message, reminding us that when God made a covenant with Abraham, the patriarch cut up animals after which he and the Lord walked between them.  (That vivid word picture was always a hit at weddings.)

I appreciate Earl for three primary reasons:

First, Earl is a truth teller.  He tells you what he thinks.  He’s real.  Before I met Earl, most pastors I knew were too diplomatic … sometimes evasive … and often inauthentic.

But whether Earl is preaching on Joshua conquering Canaan, or recounting how his mother met Einstein, he’s always interesting … which is why we’ve ended up talking late into the night on many occasions.

Second, Earl has always been there for me.  After Kim and I got married, he and Marilyn paid for at least two semesters of seminary for me.  Whenever I got stuck in ministry … or was wrestling with the board about something … Earl was just a phone call away – and I knew he’d tell me the truth about whatever issue we were discussing.

Earl was my first ministry mentor – and has remained my best ministry mentor … which is why I asked him to give the charge at my ordination service.

Earl and Marilyn at their 50th wedding anniversary

Finally, Earl raised the woman I married.  Kim’s love for outreach and missions developed when she lived in India and Pakistan as a missionary kid.  Her charisma, inquisitive mind, and strong work ethic comes from her dad as well.

Kim and her smiling father

The second man is my step-father, Carlton.

My dad died when I was 13, and many years later, my mother was still single … though that wasn’t her plan.  But Carlton soon came along and swept her off her feet.

They were married 9 months after Kim and I were … by the pastor who dedicated me to the Lord as an infant … in the worship center where I would later preach and be ordained.

There are three primary reasons – among many – why I appreciate Carlton:

First, Carlton arranged for my first mission trips.  For three years in a row, I took the high schoolers from my church to northeastern Arizona to put on Vacation Bible School.  For 30+ years, Carlton was director of the Navajo Gospel Mission.  The mission compound was 14 miles off the nearest paved road, and Carlton and his family lived in a house with one TV channel (NBC) while the Navajos came to his home for assistance day and night.

Those trips were high points in my life, and I’ll always be grateful to Carlton for arranging for our kids to come.

Second, Carlton personifies servanthood.  In fact, I don’t know anybody who is more of a servant than Carlton.  When my wife and I visited my parents several weeks ago, Carlton got up and made popcorn … and brought us drinks … and asked if we wanted ice cream (of course).

If you are fortunate enough to have Carlton visit your house, he will look around and find things that aren’t working … and in most cases, fix them ASAP.

In fact, Carlton once worked as a handyman for an infamous man who made national news for the wrong reasons.  Carlton kept this man’s model homes in pristine shape.  When things changed … I don’t remember the exact circumstances … Carlton was out of a job … but the owner gave Carlton a year’s salary and a van as appreciation for all his hard work.

Extremely rare photo of Carlton relaxing

Finally, Carlton loves my mother.  A wise person once said that the best thing a man can do for his kids is to love their mother, and Carlton excels at loving.  While he sometimes speaks softly, his deeds loudly express his feelings.  I’ve been blessed watching Carlton taking care of my mother, even though they have both struggled with health issues in recent years.

On my mother’s birthday … a few years ago

Not long ago, I read about an elderly couple who died together … holding hands.  Sounds about right.

My father – after whom I’m named – left this planet all too soon.  I went through my teens without a strong male influence, forcing me to grow up fast in some ways while delaying my growth in other ways.

But God later brought these two different but special men into my life.

With Earl in San Francisco

With Carlton in Orange County

And I remain forever grateful for their examples, their influence, and their love … which I in turn have passed on to my own children … who will become parents before they know it.

My great kids Ryan and Sarah

Happy Father’s Day!

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The Pastor Has Cooties

Posted in Conflict with the Pastor, Personal Stories on June 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Ever get cooties?

I probably got them – briefly – in the second or third grade.

A girl in my class allegedly had cooties.  At least, that’s what the other kids said.  This girl also happened to live on my street … just two doors down.

Her dad was a pastor, just like mine … but they were even stricter than our family.  For example, we were allowed to watch Shirley Temple movies on television, but her family wasn’t allowed to watch any movies, period.

And one day, I said the words “darn” and “gosh” while playing in her backyard, and boy, did I hear about it!  She said, “Ummm.  Those are bad words” – and then she threatened to tattle and tell someone that I said them.

So I guess if anybody at school had cooties, it was that girl.  In fact, she emanated cooties.

And because cooties are spread from one sex to the opposite sex, guys tend to keep their distance from girls who are infected with that dreaded condition.

When I became a pastor, I sometimes felt like I had a permanent case of cooties, causing most people to keep their distance from me.

It all began in high school.  I had this black knit high-neck shirt with a ring of white around the collar.  To me, it was just another shirt, but a few of my friends at church began calling me “Pastor Meyer” whenever I’d wear it … and sometimes, just “pastor” for short.

After a while, a whole group of guys began addressing me as “pastor” whenever they’d see me.  This was before I sensed God’s call into ministry.

Even though I was elected president of the high school group at church, some of my peers always seemed wary of me.  They didn’t know how to act around me.  (And in some cases, I didn’t know how to act around them.)

So when I became a youth pastor, and later a pastor, I had some inkling of what is was like to have “pastor cooties.”

You may be wondering, “What in the world is he talking about?”

Just this: I sensed that whenever people knew I was a pastor, they became uncomfortable around me.

When I’d sit next to a stranger on an airplane, I enjoyed finding out what he or she did for a living, but I was nervous about that person finding out that I was a pastor.  If they did, the conversation often stopped cold.

When I was around, I could sense that people cleaned up their language … and wouldn’t discuss certain topics … and didn’t know how to treat me … or treated me like The Other.

This was especially noticeable during my first few years in the pastorate when I would visit people in their homes.  One time, I visited the home of a mother-daughter duo unannounced.  When I knocked on the door, I could hear them scurrying around inside, but they never came to the door … even though I waited five minutes.

After that, I always phoned ahead, not only so people could clean their houses, but so they could hide whatever stuff they didn’t want their pastor to see.

I hated having pastor cooties.

There were three areas where I saw this most often:

First, cooties were an issue in counseling.  I learned early in my ministry that whenever I counseled someone multiple times, they came to view me as having PCs.  The better I got to know them – and their weaknesses – the more they would pull back from me.  And if they revealed a problem to me – and I later preached on that same problem – they somehow felt I was preaching at them.

So I made a policy that I would counsel people only once … just diagnosing their issue … and then recommend next steps they could take … like reading a book or seeing another counselor.

And fewer people thought I had PCs.

Second, cooties were a problem in social settings.  I grew up in the home of a Baptist pastor, and Baptists back then didn’t drink alcohol.  In fact, there was a line in the church covenant where we had to promise to refrain from the sale or usage of intoxicating beverages.  Unless my mother had a paper bag hidden somewhere, I’m not sure we ever had alcohol in the house.  I grew up not drinking and viewed that as normal.

But when my wife and I were invited to people’s homes, they would offer us wine, we’d politely decline … and right away, it felt like I had PCs again.

Third, cooties were a huge problem after a funeral.  Whenever I conducted a funeral in a mortuary, I’d stand at the head of the casket after the message while loved ones filed by.  It was my job to look for signs of uncontrollable grief and comfort people, but most of the time, people didn’t even see me.  Occasionally, someone would take my hand and whisper, “Good job,” but that was it.  The message marked me as having PCs – and nobody wanted to get infected.

You’ve heard the saying, “It’s lonely at the top.”  If pastors are at the top of their congregations, then they probably sense a great deal of loneliness.  In fact, 70% of all pastors do not have one good friend.

Why not?

Because pastors want to … and are expected to … live holy, righteous, distinctive lives – and this sets them apart from others.

Because pastors carry the pain of others around with them all the time … but choose to internalize the pain rather than share it with others.

Because pastors have trouble with powerbrokers and critics and staffers and board members … but they don’t believe it’s wise to share those problems with churchgoers indiscriminately.

Because pastors get exhausted and angry and depressed … and they don’t want people to see them that way, so they sometimes avoid people altogether.

I once saw a cartoon in Leadership Journal of a pastor who needed to use the restroom.  There were three choices: “Men,” “Women,” and “Clergy.”

Sometimes pastors wonder if they are a third sex.

But occasionally, there are people in a church who let the pastor know that even if he does have PCs, they love him anyway.

In my last church, one couple invited my wife and me over at various times … to watch election returns … or the Super Bowl … or for the 4th of July … or to watch the World Series … or just to feel safe.

They made me feel like even if I did have PCs, they didn’t care.  People like that are all too rare.

Now that I’m not a pastor anymore, do I still have PCs?  While there’s no surefire test, I’ll say no.

But you can help: if you’re in the Riverside area, come and visit me.  And if I’m in your area and wish to get together with you, I hope you’ll say yes.

Otherwise, I’ll be forced to wonder if I still have cooties.

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