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How Crossing Boundaries Creates Conflict

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on July 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

When I was in third grade, my class received music instruction from Miss Rose via closed-circuit television.

I loved to sing, and I liked Miss Rose – until she visited our classroom one day.  I was disappointed because Miss Rose didn’t look like she did on TV.

So when my class was lining up after recess, I told somebody that I thought Miss Rose was ugly.  A girl immediately wheeled around and told me, “Ummm.  I’m going to tell the teacher you said that.”

Okay, I shouldn’t have said what I did, but it wasn’t any of that girl’s business, either.  If she had told the teacher – or Miss Rose – she could have turned a thoughtless remark into a larger incident.

And this kind of thing happens all the time in churches.

Let me share with you three kinds of boundary violations that happen in churches all the time:

First, sometimes a previous pastor interferes with the ministry of his successor.

Several years ago, I read about the pastor of a megachurch (let’s call him Wally) who resigned and moved 800 miles away to become the pastor of another church.

The church he left called a new pastor (let’s call him Harry) whose ministry began to go well.

But Wally’s new ministry wasn’t going that well, so he decided he wanted to return to his original church.

So he orchestrated Harry’s departure, and then returned to his old church … and damaged hundreds of people in the process.

When a pastor leaves a church, he needs to leave that church alone.

It’s okay to stay on the mailing list … to have friends in the church … to have a general idea of what’s going on … and to pray for the church’s pastor and ministry.

But it’s wrong to become a complaint center for naysayers … to undermine the new pastor’s ministry … to second-guess leadership decisions … and to provide counsel for the pastor’s detractors.

Sad to say, but some pastors are so narcissistic that they’ll cross ethical boundaries just to harm someone else’s ministry … and that creates major conflict.

Second, sometimes people try and turn their current church into their previous one.

21 years ago, I was involved in rebirthing a church.  We changed our ministry, sold our property, and started over in a new location with a new name.

An upper-class couple began attending our church.  They had once attended a nationally-known megachurch and seemed intent on helping us.

One night, the husband gave me a piece of paper on which he had evaluated major church leaders by certain categories, like appearance … work ethic … giftedness … and so on.

He even evaluated the pastor … me.

I was shocked by how brazen his actions were.  He’d only attended our church a few times … and he didn’t serve in any capacity … but he had the audacity to try and remake our church into his previous one.

After I overcame my depression, I told the gentleman that I didn’t need his help anymore, and I never saw him or his wife again.

While he tried crossing boundaries, I’m thankful that I caught it and put a stop to it.  Sometimes pastors … and church leaders … have to define and enforce boundaries or people will run roughshod over them.

Finally, sometimes people snoop around where they don’t belong.

When I first entered church ministry, I heard the pastor talking one day through a wall.  He seemed animated and passionate, so I put my ear to the wall to hear what he was saying.

Suddenly, I was seized with guilt, and quickly backed off.  Whatever he was saying wasn’t meant for me.

In a dysfunctional family, boundaries are violated all the time.  Dads search their son’s rooms for drugs and magazines.  Moms try and read their daughter’s diaries.  After their children leave home, the parents interfere with their marriages, offer unsolicited advice, and take over family gatherings without permission.

The parents think they’re helping, but they’re just making things worse.

By the same token, it’s wrong to drive by the church to see if the pastor’s car is there … to snoop around the church office looking for classified information … to monitor the pastor’s behavior to find some dirt on him … and to form conclusions without knowing the facts.

I’ve noticed that whenever there’s major conflict in a church, some individuals have violated their boundaries:

*The board begins disciplining staff members directly … usurping the role of the pastor.

*The pastor starts lying down guidelines for the women’s ministry … rather than letting the women do it.

*The youth pastor starts telling people how the church should really worship … although that’s the role of the worship director.

*The worship director starts demanding that he should make all the final decisions for the services … but that’s the pastor’s job.

*The associate pastor tells friends that he’s the best preacher in the church … but that’s not his assignment.

And on and on and on …

In 2 Chronicles 26, King Uzziah of Judah violated divine boundaries when he entered the temple to burn incense.  Azariah the priest confronted him and said in verse 18:

“It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord.  That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense.  Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.”  And then God gave Uzziah leprosy until the day he died as a way of saying, “The king is to be a king, not a priest, and a priest is to be a priest, not a king.”

Read 2 Chronicles 26:18 again and let it serve as a warning from Almighty God:

Violate the space of others … and go where you don’t belong … and you will cause many to suffer.

But if you stay in your own space … and refuse to cross boundaries … God will reward you.

What are some other boundaries that Christians cross at church?  I’m interested in hearing your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do You Always Have to be Right?

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , on July 7, 2014| 8 Comments »

Do you always have to be right?

I know the temptation all too well.

In my first pastorate, I visited shut-ins, and one day, I visited Cecil and Freda.

Due to their age, they rarely came to church, and Cecil told me that he said the Lord’s Prayer every day.  But he had a bone to pick with me.

Cecil said that when I read or said the Lord’s Prayer, I said, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  But Cecil wanted me to know that it was really in earth as it is in heaven, not on earth.

I took out my pocket New Testament, and Matthew 6:10 said “on earth,” not “in earth.”  (When in doubt, let Scripture decide.)

But doggone it, Cecil had been saying the Lord’s Prayer for many years, and he was saying it the right way, and everybody else – even Bible translators and his pastor – were wrong.

What can a young pastor do?  I just smiled and changed the subject.

In that instance, I was wise.  But on another occasion, I was anything but.

I once visited a newly-married couple in their home after they had visited our church the previous Sunday.

While we were chatting, the woman blurted out, “But all sins are equal in God’s eyes, right?”

I should have let it go … I should have let it go … but I didn’t.

I gently explained what I believe Scripture teaches: that any and every sin will condemn us before a holy God, but that some sins are definitely worse than others in this life.  (For example, uncontrolled anger and murder are both sins, but murder is far worse than uncontrolled anger.)

But this couple had come from a church background where they had heard the phrase “all sins are the same before God” and my little two-minute explanation wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

They never came back to the church … and I needed to learn that I didn’t always have to be right.

How many conflicts in this world occur because people insist that they’re right and the other party is wrong?

How about Israel and the Palestinians?

How about Democrats and Republicans?

How about creationists and evolutionists … or global warning proponents and skeptics … or those who welcome illegal immigrants and those who don’t?

In the same way, many conflicts in churches occur because some people … even pastors and church leaders … have to be right all the time.

They have to be right about every nuance of theology … the proper interpretation of tough passages … the color of the nursery … and how long the pastor preaches.

And even when they violate Scripture, they still insist they’re right … and that those who disagree with them are wrong.

But Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 8:1, “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.”

You can know a lot … and be right nearly all of the time … and yet do it all with a prideful heart … and so be very much wrong.

Let me offer three thoughts about “being right”:

First, it’s right to take and present a position.

My wife recently did some redecorating for her home preschool.  She asked me what I thought.  I told her what I really felt … once.

She listened … countered with a few ideas of her own … and that was that.

I stated my position and then dropped the matter.  Since it’s her preschool, she needs to make the final decision.

There would be far fewer conflicts in churches if churchgoers treated pastors the same way.

For example, let’s say you don’t like a change in the worship service.

It’s all right to feel the way you do … and to tell your pastor how you feel … but then let the issue go.

Trust that he will make the right call, even if it takes a while.  You had your say … but must you have your way?

Second, learn who you can argue with … and who you can’t.

I like to argue, to test my positions and learn how other people think.  Ultimately, I’m after Truth with a capital “T.”

I try to argue without being argumentative, but sometimes, that doesn’t work out.

My wife and I were once invited by a friend and his wife to a dinner honoring various kinds of ministry chaplains.

While sitting at dinner, I made a comment about abortion, assuming the person sitting next to me would agree with my position.

He didn’t.

We quickly got into a verbal exchange … all because I didn’t yet know who he was.

If you know someone who loves a friendly argument, by all means, go at it … just so you remain friends afterwards.  Jesus certainly argued with both His disciples and His enemies a lot.

But if you’re around someone who doesn’t like to argue … let it go!

And my guess is that the vast majority of people do not like to argue.

Finally, realize that everybody is wrong at times … even you.

Last Saturday, my wife and our daughter and I visited San Diego.

I suggested that we visit the collection of shops and restaurants known as Seaside Village.

My wife gently called it Seaport Village.

I said, “No, I think it’s Seaside Village” … but then I wondered, “What if she’s right?”

When we walked up to the village, it was Seaport Village all right.

Because I didn’t make a big deal about the name, my wife and daughter let it slide.

But if I had said, “I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I’m right,” they wouldn’t have let me forget it all weekend.

When we know we’ve been wrong in the past, that knowledge should give us humility the next time that we’re positive we’re right.

But when we always insist that we’re right, we alienate our loved ones and people stay away from us.

In U2’s song Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own, Bono sings to his dying father, “You don’t have to put up a fight, you don’t have to always be right …”

If Christians would memorize and practice those lyrics, we’d have fewer conflicts and more far peace in our churches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Using Love and Power During Conflict

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , on June 23, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Every day in our culture, we hear about people who try and resolve their conflicts by using power:

*They stand in front of microphones and condemn their opponents.

*They threaten to boycott a product or a company.

*They pass resolutions criticizing a leader they don’t like.

*They even pick up guns and join an army.

These tactics have been used and abused for hundreds of years … but they’re increasingly creeping into Christian churches.

Examples:

*A faction threatens to leave their church unless the pastor does its bidding.

*A woman demands that a staff member apologize to her for a remark he made.

*A pastor emphatically states that he’ll resign unless the church board agrees with him on an issue.

*A member promises to withhold her giving as long as the youth pastor is still employed by the church.

In my view, many churchgoers … especially leaders … go to power way too soon in a conflict.

What should they do instead?

Try love.

Whenever there’s a conflict, go to love first … and only use power last.

When Jesus came to earth the first time, He came in love … as a baby.

He became human.  He gave up “the independent exercise of His divine attributes.”  He listened to people and hurt with them and restored them.

Yes, He became ticked at the Pharisees, but He didn’t destroy them.  Instead, He tried to shake them out of their complacency by telling them the truth.

He didn’t force people to receive Him as Messiah.  He gave them evidence and let them choose.

Even though Jesus had access to power on earth, He never used any power on Himself, but only to help others.

Even while being mocked on the cross, Jesus chose not to use power to retaliate against His enemies.

When Jesus came the first time, He came in love.

But when He comes the second time, He will come in power.

He will ride a white horse … brandish a sword … wear many crowns … make war against God’s enemies … and reveal Himself as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

He will impose His will upon the people of this planet and force them to say and do things they don’t want to do: “every knee will bow, every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord.”

Personally, I can’t wait for that day … but it ‘s not here yet.

I believe the pattern of Jesus’ two comings provides today’s Christians with an outstanding example.

When you’re engaged in a conflict with a leader or a group or your pastor … use love first … and power last.

Most church conflicts are resolvable when both sides use love … demonstrated by listening, understanding, kindness, compassion, and choice.

But some people become anxious … just wanting the conflict to end … and so they take a shortcut and resort to power … demonstrated by monologues, manipulation, rudeness, heartlessness, and imposition.

And when they do, they make that conflict far more resistant to resolution.

Example 1: a pastor wants the worship director to stop using a certain female vocalist because she’s living immorally.

If the pastor uses love, he’ll ask the worship director kindly but firmly to remove her until her life turns around.  This will keep the conflict at a low level.

But if the pastor uses power, he might threaten to fire the worship director unless he removes her immediately.  This will cause the worship director to respond in kind and matters may quickly escalate.

Example 2: the church board wants the pastor to give them a written report of his activities at their monthly meeting.

If the board uses love, they’ll ask the pastor for the report and explain why they’d like to have it.

If the board uses power, they’ll demand that he issue that report or they’ll all resign.

Suddenly, a low-level conflict may spiral out of control.

There are times when those in leadership positions – especially pastors and church boards – need to use their God-given authority to make decisions.

But some Christian leaders tend to bypass the love route altogether and go straight to power … and when they do, they escalate matters exponentially.

I once did a word study on the words “threat” and “threaten” in the Bible.  I couldn’t find a single instance where those words were used in a positive context.

God doesn’t want His people characterized by the power tactics of our world.  He wants us to be characterized by love in all its forms.

Did Jesus say, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you impose your will on people and threaten them?”

No, He said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Let us be known by our love … even in the midst of conflict … and only use power if God has given us that right through Scripture and if His Spirit is leading us to use it.

Are you currently involved in a conflict situation at your church?

Use love first … and only go to power when it’s clear that love can’t work.

If all Christians did that, we’d resolve most conflicts … and the world would pay more attention to the gospel.

 

 

 

 

 

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One Way to Resolve Church Conflicts

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Fighting Evil, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 20, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I’ve recently been doing an intensive study of Numbers 16 … the story of Korah’s rebellion against Moses and Aaron.

Korah and three of his colleagues … along with 250 community leaders … decide that they don’t want to follow Moses’ leadership anymore.

Why not?

The group approaches Moses and Aaron and says in Numbers 16:3: “You have gone too far!  The whole community is holy, every one of them, and the Lord is with them.  Why then do you set yourselves above the Lord’s assembly?”

Translation: “There is nothing special about you two leaders.  We are just as holy as you are.  So why are you always telling us what to do?  We’re not going to take it anymore!”

Moses and Aaron were old men.  It’s possible that Korah was much younger and felt he could do a better job at overseeing priestly duties than Aaron could.

But as the story proceeds, it’s obvious that God sides with Moses and Aaron and opposes the attempted coup.

Most church conflicts begin because a group inside the church believes that they know how to run the church better than the official leadership … usually the pastor.

Their attitude is, “We’re more spiritual than the pastor … we’re smarter … we’re more resourceful … we’re more in touch with the congregation … so we should be running the church rather than him!”

Whenever these conflicts arise in churches … and they arise all the time … most people miss the best way to resolve the conflict.

The question is not, “Who is best qualified to lead this church?”

The question is, “Who did God call to lead this church?”

Moses told the coalition in Numbers 16:11: “It is against the Lord that you and all your followers have banded together.”  They thought they were rebelling against two human leaders, but Moses says, “No, by rebelling against God’s leaders, you’re really rebelling against the Lord.”

Moses goes on in Numbers 16:28, “This is how you will know that the Lord has sent me to do all these things and that it was not my idea.”  Then he proposes a test to determine who is on God’s side and who is not.

Early in my ministry, I inherited a church board full of wonderful men … all except for Don.

Don wanted to take our church back to the 1950s – even though it was the late 1980s – and he wanted us to reinvent ourselves into a small, Midwestern church … even though we were located in California.

I was trying to take the church forward, while he insisted we go backward.

Don had not been called by God to pastor a church … but he was called by friends to lead a rebellion.

Don had not been formally trained in biblical interpretation or pastoral ministry … but he knew something about politics and power.

Don had not been given the spiritual gifts of leadership or teaching … but he didn’t need those gifts to subvert his pastor.

Don had not been ordained to gospel ministry … but that didn’t matter to him.

Don held secret meetings … listed all my faults, including those of my wife and children … and then demanded that I resign.

The elders of Israel supported Moses and stood by him … and the elders in our church did the same.

Don’s group quickly left the church … started their own church a mile away … and used our church as their mission field.

But a year later, their church folded.

God had called Don to be a dock worker, not a pastor.

And He had called me to be a pastor, not a dock worker.

God had called Moses to lead Israel, not Korah.

And He had called Korah to be a Levite, not the leader of a nation.

Many church conflicts could be resolved if God’s people would take some time to read Scripture … do some reflection … and ask this question:

Who did God call to lead this congregation?

If the answer is Moses … follow him.

If the answer is your pastor … follow him.

But if you follow Korah … or Don … things aren’t going to work out for you … guaranteed.

All you’re going to do is hurt a lot of people … including you and your family.

If your pastor isn’t leading or preaching or pastoring like he could be … then pray for him … and love him … and listen to him … and support him … as long as he follows the Lord.

That’s far better than watching the ground open up and swallow you and your family whole.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Five Safeguards for Protecting Pastors

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on June 6, 2014| 4 Comments »

Like you, I’ve heard a lot in the past few days about U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.

Like you, I have some personal opinions about the wisdom of exchanging five terrorist leaders for the sergeant.

Like you, I wonder why Sgt. Bergdahl ended up being captured by the Haqqani network.

And like you, I don’t know whether Sgt. Bergdahl is guilty of desertion … or innocent … or something in between.

But I do know this: Sgt. Bergdahl has not yet told his side of the story … and until he does … we need to be very careful about making final judgments.

Why bring this up on a blog devoted to pastors and church conflict?

_______________

Several months ago, a friend and colleague sent me an email.

My friend had spent several hours with a pastor who was forced out of a church he had planted.

One of the staff members began spreading a rumor that the pastor and his wife were taking illegal drugs.

Someone called a public meeting.

When the pastor stood up to confront the charges being made about him, those who opposed him stood up and shouted, “You’re lying!”

Because they kept yelling at their pastor, he finally stopped talking and walked out of the church … and resigned soon afterward.

Satan couldn’t have planned it any better.

That pastor – and all pastors – need to be protected by the following safeguards in every church:

First, the pastor has the right to know any charges being made about him.

How many people told that pastor that people were saying he was taking illegal drugs?

My guess: few, if any.

I was recently told for the first time about a charge some people made about me 4 1/2 years ago.

The charge was 100% false, but why wasn’t I told about it sooner?  How many people believe it to this day?

And why wasn’t I ever given a chance to defend myself against that charge?

Second, the pastor has the right to meet with his accusers.

The staff member who made the accusation about drug usage needed to speak with the pastor and his wife before taking his charge to anyone else.

By taking his charge to others first, he could have ruined their reputations and careers.  What if the charge was totally false?

If a similar charge was made against a top leader in a secular corporation … and it proved to be false … the person making the charge would be dismissed and possibly sued for slander.

When people make charges against a pastor … but never make the charges to his face … they almost always exaggerate the charges.  Remember that.

Third, the pastor has the right to see any and all evidence against him.

What kind of evidence did the staff member have that the pastor and his wife were taking drugs?  Blood tests?  Photographs?  Eyewitness accounts?

Or was it all just speculation?

The pastor needed to be presented with all the evidence.

If the evidence was strong, the pastor might have privately asked for forgiveness … or gone into rehab … or resigned on his own … without involving the congregation.

But if the evidence was fabricated … or misinterpreted … then the pastor needed to be able to tell his side of the story.

Otherwise, when we don’t like a pastor, we can just manufacture lies about him, and he’ll be forced to leave … without anyone ever discovering where those lies originated.

Fourth, the pastor should never initially be confronted with a charge in public. 

Why would a staff member take a charge against his pastor public?

To embarrass him?  To humiliate him?  To use the power of the mob?

Yes, yes, and yes … but most of all, to engage in retribution.

Many of the charges that people make against pastors are really punitive in nature.

How can you tell?

Because the people making the charges never talk about restoring their pastor … or redeeming him … but only about removing him.

Where do we ever find that sentiment in the New Testament?

Finally, the pastor should be given due process whenever charges are made against him.

Many … if not most … churches lack such a process.

And even if they do have one, the process (found in church bylaws) is often ignored because people become anxious and overly-emotional.

But it’s critical that a pastor … as well as any spiritual leader … be allowed to have a hearing and tell his version of events.  Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”

When do church leaders ever question those who make charges against their pastor?

The ethos in most churches is that whenever people make accusations against a pastor, they’re almost always accurate.

But they aren’t … not by a long shot.

In the story about the pastor allegedly taking drugs, why did the pastor’s opponents shout him down when he tried to answer their charges?

Because they didn’t want their pastor to be given due process.  They had already selected themselves as judge, jury, and executioner, and in their eyes, he was guilty.

But if he had been allowed to speak, the truth would have exposed their own guilt and hatred, and they could not allow that to occur.

My prayer for churchgoers everywhere is that whenever they have concerns about their pastor’s character or behavior, they will insist on a fair process rather than immediately declare his innocence or his guilt.

_______________

I don’t know the complete truth about Sgt. Bergdahl.  Maybe nobody does right now.

But he shouldn’t be tried in the press, especially when he can’t answer the charges that people are making against him.

In the meantime, I’m going to try and keep an open mind about his guilt or innocence, especially after I read this article today from the pastor of the Bergdahl family:

Bowe Bergdahl’s Former Pastor Shares His Personal Reflections on the Recent Events

He will have his day in court.  Then we’ll find out the truth.

But please remember: neither the mainstream media … nor social media … nor your dinner table … constitute a fair and final court.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Church Where Nothing Happens

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , on May 22, 2014| 3 Comments »

Pastor Rick couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

Steve, the board chairman at Third Church, had called to tell Rick that a group had formed inside the congregation and were making accusations against him.

Pastor Rick was stunned by the news … so stunned that he felt dazed and sick inside.

Who was in this group?  What were they saying about him?

His hand trembling as he called Steve back, Rick asked Steve those same two questions.

Steve assured his pastor, “Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of it.”

But one week later, the group had grown, and there were even more accusations.

What had Steve done to stop the carnage?

Absolutely nothing.

Pastor Rick didn’t eat.  He couldn’t sleep.  In fact, he was barely functioning.

As he answered phone calls and emails … and prepared his message for Sunday … and tried to pray … he wondered, “Who is standing against me?  And what are they saying to others?”

Rick didn’t know … and nobody was telling him anything.

When he stood up to preach the following Sunday, he momentarily surveyed the 300-strong congregation that he’d led for 12 years.

He silently asked, “Lord, which of those people is building a case against me?”

When the service was over, Rick stayed at the front to pray with people, but nobody came.

He looked around to see if he could speak with members of the board, but when he went outside, they were all gone.

What were they doing to help their pastor?

Absolutely nothing.

The church had three staff members – a full-time associate and two part-timers – and Rick decided to risk discussing matters at their regular Tuesday meeting.

He asked them if they knew anything about a group in the church that had organized to oppose him.

The associate claimed that he hadn’t heard anything.

The part-timers said that they weren’t close enough to the inner circle.

The pastor told his staff that he hoped he could count on their loyalty in case a conflict broke out.

He reminded them that his future and their futures were intertwined.

Know what the staff that Rick handpicked and championed did to support him?

Absolutely nothing.

Two nights later, the board held their regular monthly meeting.  Chairman Steve began the meeting by reading a letter from the group that opposed the pastor.

They made the following claims about Pastor Rick:

*His messages were too long, sometimes exceeding half an hour.

*He wasn’t approachable on Sundays, an indication he didn’t care about people.

*He seemed to favor the men’s ministry but neglected ministries to women and children.

*He was non-supportive of the local denominational district.

*He failed to give the associate pastor more preaching opportunities.

*He didn’t emphasize church membership enough.

When Steve was done reading the letter, he asked the pastor, “What are you going to do about these accusations?”

Rick felt blindsided … betrayed … and deeply hurt.  Was Steve agreeing with the accusations?

Rick asked, “Who signed the letter?”

It was signed by “The Group.”

In effect, this was an anonymous letter … and pastors are taught to ignore letters that aren’t signed.  (How can they respond to any allegations if they don’t know who made them?)

Rick received a sudden inspiration and asked the board, “What are you going to do about these accusations?”

Thirty seconds into Steve’s four-minute response, Rick knew the answer.

Absolutely nothing.

Two weeks after the board meeting, The Group demanded that the board call a business meeting so they could air their grievances against the pastor.

Steve consulted with the rest of the board, and they scheduled a meeting for the Sunday after Father’s Day.

The Group assigned three people to make public charges against the pastor.

But they didn’t stop with the charges in their letter.  They added many others, including personal attacks upon the pastor’s wife and two teenage children, who were present.

At his breaking point, the pastor stood up to answer the charges, but within thirty seconds, he was shouted down by members of The Group, so he and his family walked out.

Although the pastor assumed he had many friends in the congregation, what did they do to support him that Sunday afternoon?

Absolutely nothing.

The kangaroo court accomplished its purpose.  The pastor knew he couldn’t stay and subject himself and his family to any more abuse.

So he told Chairman Steve that he planned on resigning, but he wanted to know if the board would grant him a severance package.

Steve consulted with the other board members.  Even though the church had more than six figures in a reserve fund, several board members refused to use it to help their pastor support his family.

So when Rick finally resigned, what kind of monetary outlay did he receive for his dozen years of faithful service to Christ?

Absolutely nothing.

Pastor Rick resigned, his heart broken.

His wife had an emotional breakdown.

His children refused to have anything to do with church ever again.

Rick had no job prospects and no hope for the future.

This man who had been called by God to ministry … who had graduated from seminary … and who was ordained to preach the gospel … found his career obliterated.

How much had he tucked away into savings?

Absolutely nothing.

The board at Third Church met to form a search team for a new pastor.

They put together a seven-member team … including three vocal members from The Group.

Two other members from The Group became board members the following year.

And what did the board or staff or congregation do to confront or correct those unruly members?

Absolutely nothing.

The New Testament has much to say about addressing conflict from antagonistic individuals.

Paul named names (like Hymenaeus and Alexander in 1 Timothy 1:19-20).  John fingered Diotrephes (3 John 9-10).

Paul warned the church in Rome (Romans 16:17) to “watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way …”

He warned the church in Corinth in 1 Corinthians 3:16-17: “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?  If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.”

He warned Titus, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.  After that, have nothing to do with him.  You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (Titus 3:10-11).

There are many other New Testament directives … addressed to church leaders and congregations alike … commanding them to confront and warn divisive individuals and groups.

What did the board do to obey these Scriptures and to protect their pastor’s reputation?

Absolutely nothing.

This church … and thousands like it … forcefully claim they believe in truth and righteousness.

They rail against lies coming from the federal government … but permit lying inside their own church.

They condemn the moral relativism of popular culture … but practice that same relativism inside their own congregation.

They preach reconciliation between God and sinners … but refuse to do anything to bring about reconciliation toward pastors they have abused and slandered.

How much blessing from God can they expect in the future?

Absolutely nothing. 

If church leaders fail to take Scripture seriously … permit malcontents to spread rumors unabated … allow their pastor to be publicly abused … refuse to give him a severance package when he’s forced to resign … and put contentious people into leadership positions … then that church is going in only one direction:

Absolutely nowhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How Anxiety Produces Chaos in Churches

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Personal Stories, Please Comment!, tagged , , on May 12, 2014| 2 Comments »

I did something last Friday that I shouldn’t have done … and hopefully will never do again.

What was it?

At their parents’ request, I picked up two elementary age children from their school … and it was a nightmare.

The father teaches at the school, and the mother had to be away, so they needed someone to watch their boys for the afternoon, and my wife has done it before.

I arrived at the school ten minutes early … but nothing prepared me for the chaos that ensued.

Along with other vehicles, I moved into the left hand lane to turn into the school’s turnaround area.

We didn’t budge for at least 15 minutes.

But some cars began zipping past me on the right.  Where were they going?

The cars drove down the road … made a left … then made a U-turn … and came back toward the school so they could turn right into the parking lot ahead of those of us turning left!

Another woman drove up next to the cars in my line on the right … and then made an illegal U-turn in front of everybody!

It was absolute chaos … and nobody was directing traffic.

I finally turned left into the parking lot … looked everywhere for the boys amid a sea of faces … and couldn’t find them.

So I stopped the car next to the curb … stood up outside to get a better view … and was promptly reprimanded by a school official, who ordered me to get back into my car.

(All I was thinking was, “God, please don’t make me leave the turnaround area and go through that mess again!”)

We finally located the boys … they jumped into my car … and we traveled at a snail’s pace until we came to a fork.

Go right … and you’re stuck in an immovable line of cars making their way back to the street.

Go left … and you drive through some cones blocking the entrance to the street … but it was the quickest way out.

The chaos in that parking lot reminded me of three truisms about church conflict:

First, when people become anxious, they make up their own rules.

Some parents who were trying to pick up their kids didn’t care about propriety … or traffic laws … or taking turns.

So they cut in front of other vehicles … took shortcuts … and put others at risk.

I told the school official about some of the lawbreaking drivers … but the school had no plans to police incoming parents.

When major conflict surfaces in a church, some churchgoers forget they’re Christians and act like pagans instead.

They ignore everything Scripture has to say about conflict.

They spread nasty rumors without verifying their truthfulness.

They join the mob trying to force their pastor to quit.

And in the process, they model chaos for their families … new believers … and unbelievers.

But what’s worse is that it appears as if nobody is in charge.

If conflict ever breaks out in your church, remind people of what Scripture says about conflict resolution … or anarchy may result.

Second, when people become anxious, their focus becomes narrow.

Some parents who were picking up their kids were so intent upon finding their wee ones that they didn’t seem to notice anybody else.

The evidence?  Their selfish driving and lack of consideration.

When we become anxious, we block out the world around us, and focus on what’s troubling us.

Have you ever lost your child inside a store?

You don’t notice the merchandise on the shelves … or the people in your way … because you only have eyes for your child.

And you only expand your horizons when your child has been located.

When a church has a major conflict, people tend to focus on one person: the pastor.

In their minds, he’s either caused the conflict, or hasn’t stopped it … so he’s gotta go.

Anxious Christians fail to ask questions … do any investigative work … or hear from the other side.

They can’t see the bigger picture … that the devil is trying to destroy their congregation … so they join the mob … and the enemy smiles.

If conflict ever breaks out in your church, work hard to get people to see the bigger picture … or your pastor is toast.  

Finally, when people become anxious, they’ll do anything to find relief.

To leave that school in a hurry, some parents will willing to break the law … outrage other drivers … and risk injuries to their children and vehicles.

And when a major conflict surfaces inside a congregation, people … even God’s people … will do almost anything to make the conflict go away.

They don’t want to learn the truth about what’s really happening.

They don’t want to take the right road for resolving issues.

They don’t want to speak to people on both sides.

So they quickly choose a side … usually that of their friends … and lobby for the conflict to end.

And if that means that the pastor’s head rolls … so be it.

If conflict ever breaks out in your church, tell church leaders that you insist they use a biblical process for resolving matters … or hell itself will assume leadership.

If I could pound one thought into the head of every Christian churchgoer about congregational conflict, I’d say this:

When conflict erupts inside your church, apply biblical principles to your situation, and God will honor and bless your congregation.

But if your people make up their own rules … have a narrow focus … and do anything to find relief … a lot of innocent people are going to get hurt.

And God can’t bless your church until your congregation repents and learns what you should have done.

In the meantime, I’m going to avoid school parking lots.

_______________

While I was writing this article, I just hit 70,000 views on my blog.

If you come here from time to time, thanks for reading!

If this is your first time here, I invite you to return.

And if you read my blog regularly, thank you so much for your attention!  I am humbled by the fact you come back again and again.

Remember: I love interaction, so feel free to leave comments.  I strive to respond to all of them within 24 hours.  When it comes to church conflict, we’re all learners.

And if you’d like to chat privately, you can reach me at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org or check out my website at http://www.restoringkingdombuilders.org

How do I know that anxiety produces chaos in churches?

I’ve written a book about my experiences called Church Coup: A Cautionary Tale of Congregational Conflict.  You can purchase the paperback or e-book from Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why Pastors Need to Preach on Conflict

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on May 5, 2014| Leave a Comment »

How many times have you heard a pastor preach a sermon on conflict management?

It doesn’t happen very often.

And yet when Christians become upset about an issue in their church, they can become irrational … overly emotional … and even engage in nasty, unchristian behavior.

And this can cause people to attack the pastor … leave the church in droves … weaken attendance and giving … and harm the church for years.

And if that happens, it’s too late for a pastor to start preaching about how Christians should handle conflict.

Last year, I preached a sermon titled “Resolving Conflict Biblically.”

After the service, one woman – in her mid-80s – told me that she had attended a well-known megachurch for much of her life.

In fact, her pastor was a household name among Christians.

But she said that my message was the first one she had ever heard on how to resolve church conflict in a biblical manner.

She probably did hear some messages on that topic, and just forgot.

But I believe that pastors need to speak on church conflict one or two Sundays every year.

Why?

Let me give you three reasons:

First, pastors need to condition their people that conflict among Christians is inevitable.

If two ministry leaders book the same room at the same time … that’s not unusual.

If a nursery worker doesn’t show up or call on a Sunday morning … that happens.

If a senior complains about not singing any hymns during worship … that’s normal.

These are all minor conflicts.

I believe that most pastors have a high tolerance for minor conflicts.  They don’t get too ruffled by these issues.  They’re occupational hazards.

But to the new believer … or the woman who just lost her job … small issues can quickly seem gigantic.

So a pastor needs to tell his people, “These conflicts happen from time-to-time.  When they do, let’s stay calm.  And here’s how to work them out.”

Do you know how few people learn how to address and resolve conflicts when they’re growing up?

The church can be a great help in this area.

Second, pastors need to empower their congregations to resolve conflict biblically.

When Paul wrote about conflict in 1 and 2 Corinthians, he directed those letters to the entire congregation … not just to church leaders.

He did the same thing with Romans … Galatians … Ephesians … and Philippians.

Paul wrote 9 letters to congregations, and 4 to individuals – including 3  to pastors (Timothy and Titus) – and he obviously believed that the average Christian (not just church leaders) needed instruction on conflict management.

In fact, Paul chose to empower every believer with his writings, saying things like:

I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned.  Keep away from them.  Romans 16:17.

I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.  1 Corinthians 1:10

If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out of you will be destroyed by each other.  Galatians 5:15

Yes, pastors need to talk about conflict prevention and resolution with church leaders … but with every churchgoer as well … because it’s the responsibility of every Christian to keep their church healthy.

Finally, pastors need to help people face and resolve their own conflicts.

When I was a pastor, there were many times where people came to me … told me about a conflict they were undergoing at the church … and hoped I’d solve it for them.

But my job wasn’t to step in and solve their problems.  That’s dysfunctional behavior.

Instead, I would share with them how to handle the conflict themselves.

Remember the story of Moses in Exodus 18?  The people of Israel brought Moses their problems all day, every day – and it was impacting Moses negatively.  Moses told Jethro his father-in-law:

“… the people come to me to seek God’s will.  Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and laws.”  Exodus 18:15-16

But Jethro saw that this system was wearing Moses out.  Instead, Jethro encouraged Moses in verse 20 to:

“… teach them the decrees and laws, and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform.”

Then Jethro encouraged Moses to appoint wise judges who would hear the simpler cases, only bringing the more difficult ones directly to Moses … and this system worked beautifully.

How will many people learn to handle conflict in marriage … at work … with their family … and at church … unless their pastor teaches them God’s Word?

When should a pastor preach on conflict?

First, when the church is at peace, and there aren’t any major conflicts.  I always told my congregations, “The best time to prepare for war is during a time of peace.”  Consider it insurance.

Second, consider teaching on conflict one or two Sundays before your church votes on your governing leaders (like elders or deacons) or the annual budget.  Just write it on the calendar … preferably now.

In my last church, I preached on conflict early in November every year.

One year, I thought, “Hey, things are going well.  I’ll preach on something else this time.”

Guess what?  A few months later, major conflict broke out.

Coincidence?  I don’t know … but I’ll always wonder.

One more tip: I believe that every pastor should create a one-page document summarizing what the New Testament says about conflict management and hand this out annually … maybe even putting this document on the church website.

You might call it, “How We Handle Conflict at Our Church.”

Then if conflict does surface, your church has developed ready-made guidelines that any and every believer can implement.

Can you think of any other reasons why pastors need to periodically preach on conflict?

__________

This is the 350th article I’ve published using WordPress.  Thanks so much for reading!

If you’re a pastor or a board member, you might consider printing some articles and distributing them to your staff or board for discussion.  I’m always encouraged when I hear that someone has done just that.

If there are any topics you’d like me to cover, please send me a message at jim@restoringkingdombuilders.org

May God grant you His peace in your home, workplace, and church life!

 

 

 

 

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Are Some Pastors Evil?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with Church Staff, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , , , on March 17, 2014| 23 Comments »

Jesus was once accused of being a liar … being suicidal … being a half-breed … and being demon-possessed (twice).

And then a group of religious leaders picked up stones to kill Him.

All this occurs in the same chapter: John 8.

The Savior’s enemies made the following similar but incredible statements about Him:

“Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan [half-Jew, half-Gentile] and demon-possessed?”  (John 8:48)

“Now we know that you are demon-possessed!”  (John 8:52)

And then the leaders ask Jesus in verse 53, “Who do you think you are?”

When Jesus walked this earth, some religious leaders believed that He was evil … and yet Scripture says that Jesus was “without sin.”

Why bring this up?

Because I deal with staff members and church leaders who write to me and talk to me and have come to this conclusion:

Their pastor is evil.

Are there evil pastors?

There might be.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever met one.

Yes, some pastors commit evil deeds.

And yes, some pastors are dysfunctional … have personality disorders … suffer from depression … and have areas of incompetence.

But does that mean that their character is evil?

Let me share with you four quick truths about so-called evil pastors:

First, some pastors are difficult to figure out.

I’ve heard a few pastors preach sermons that made little sense to me.  Their messages were disorganized and didn’t flow.  They made points that I couldn’t grasp.  They seemed to revel in creative interpretations that I didn’t think were justified.

But that doesn’t mean they were evil … just incoherent at the time I heard them.

I’ve worked with a few board members who couldn’t understand the direction I wanted to take the church.  No matter how hard I labored, they couldn’t mentally envision the kind of church I had in mind.

But their lack of understanding didn’t make me evil.

However, in the case of several board members, when they couldn’t understand me, they labeled me “dangerous” and felt justified in harming my ministry.

Jesus could be hard to figure out, too … but did that make Him dangerous?

Please remember: Just because you don’t understand a pastor’s sermons or plans doesn’t make him evil.

Second, some pastors believe they must obey the Lord before they obey the board.

Jesus said in John 4:34: “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

The night before He died, Jesus told His Father in John 17:4: “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.”

Jesus’ ministry agenda came from His Father, not from His disciples.  He was always conscious of what the Father wanted Him to do, while Jesus tended to ignore the agendas of His friends, followers, and foes.

Like most pastors, when I was ordained to the gospel ministry, I promised to preach “the whole counsel of God.”

For me, this meant that I was duty bound to preach from the entire Bible … never to avoid difficult topics … and to speak prophetically about the issues of our day.

In one church I served as pastor, an ex-board member – who had left the church a year before – decided to visit a Sunday service … and railed against me afterwards.

My sin?

He felt that I was “preaching at him” … so he immediately began a campaign to get rid of me as pastor.

He never considered that the Holy Spirit was trying to speak to him … and even warn him …  not to attack me.

Sometimes I’m shocked by how often a board member concludes, “Since the pastor stubbornly disagrees with me on this issue, I’m going to get him.”

Please remember: Just because your pastor disagrees with you doesn’t make him evil because in his mind, he’s simply obeying the Lord.

Third, some pastors are viewed suspiciously because they offended a leader’s friend(s).

Have you ever been a supervisor?

Imagine that you’re supervising an employee who has clearly been insubordinate to you.  So you call him into your office and warn him not to do it again.

He immediately goes to four of his friends in the company and says that you’ve been mistreating him … but you aren’t aware of what he’s saying.

I’ve had this precise scenario happen to me as a pastor … only the person I supervised was a staff member.

Even though church bylaws stated that the senior pastor was responsible for supervising ministry staff members … when a staff member didn’t like what I said to him or her, rather than submit to my authority … they would invariably find a board member and complain to him about me.

The biblical way for the board member to handle such a situation is to say to the staff member, “Let’s go talk to the pastor about this right now.”

But the board member usually wouldn’t do that.  Instead, he and the staff member would form an alliance together … both agreeing on one thing:

The senior pastor must be evil because he wounded the staff member.

But the real evil here is that the board member was seduced by the staff member into taking the staff member’s side without ever talking with the pastor.

In this scenario, it’s crucial that the board member circle back and speak with the senior pastor because (a) the staff member might be exaggerating the situation, or (b) the staff member might be lying as a way of retaliating against the pastor.

Please remember: just because a staff member tells someone that the pastor mistreated him doesn’t mean it’s so.

Finally, some pastors have become special targets of Satan.

Years ago, I saw a Christian film called Whitcomb’s War.  While the production values were rather crude, the film’s message still rings true.

Pastor Whitcomb arrives as the new pastor of a troubled church.  As he sets up his office upstairs, demons begin setting up their headquarters in the church basement.

Much of the time, the demons didn’t intend to attack the pastor directly … but to attack him through individuals in the church.

As a pastor, I’ve been attacked by people outside the church and inside the church.

When you’re attacked by people outside the church … like city planners or church neighbors … the congregation tends to unite together in purpose and in prayer.

But when you’re attacked by people inside the church … especially board and staff members … the congregation tends to follow the person they like/know best and division results.

And all the while, Satan laughs.

Jesus told His opponents in John 8:44:

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Even though Jesus hadn’t done anything wrong in God’s eyes, once His opponents labeled Him as being demonic … and thus evil … they felt justified in destroying Him.

And even when a pastor is innocent before God, if a few detractors label him as evil, they feel justified in using every weapon in their arsenal to run him out of their church.

Please remember: just because a pastor’s detractors call him evil does not provide justification for destroying him personally or professionally. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to get Christian churches to wake up to this important point:

The way Christian leaders treat each other in private will eventually affect the congregation in public.

What are your thoughts about what I’ve written?

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Christian Power Plays

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment!, tagged , , , on March 12, 2014| 2 Comments »

A friend recently told me about a church that did something unspeakable.

During Sunday services, the picture of a church worker was flashed onto the video screens.  The worker was identified by name along with a crime that he had allegedly committed.

And then the congregation was told to stay away from this individual.

However, when someone contacted the local police department, the individual in question hadn’t committed any crime at all.

But not long afterwards, it was discovered that that church’s pastor was sexually involved with a woman.  He later resigned.

I know the name of the church and the name of the pastor because I visited there on three occasions … but I didn’t stay because I could sense something was wrong.

And I was right.

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m still smarting from reading revelations from Frank Pastore’s book Shattered about a coup that some Christian leaders from my college and seminary wanted to execute many years ago.

You can read that article here: https://blog.restoringkingdombuilders.org/2014/03/10/blackballed-by-christian-leaders/

Employed by the school, Frank had been invited to a clandestine meeting of men he respected, during which time he was told that this group was plotting to overthrow the school’s president.

Frank wanted no part of it … but when he wouldn’t agree to their scheme, they slandered Frank until he lost his reputation … and his job.

Over the past four years, I’ve learned a lot about power plays inside the body of Christ … and they make me as sick as they made Frank Pastore.

Let me share with you four things I’ve learned about Christian power plays:

First, plotting in secret to get rid of a pastor or Christian leader is wrong.

Frank Pastore instinctively knew that plotting to overthrow the school president was evil.  I assume that the school has written grievance procedures for handling such concerns.

But for some reason, the plotters felt that using those procedures wouldn’t help them reach their objectives.

In the same way, factions in churches – including the official board at times – may meet in secret and plot to force out their pastor, even though church bylaws almost always specify the correct way to do that.

Why do such groups meet secretly?

Because the plotters lack the patience to do it the right way … or plotting makes them feel powerful … or they don’t want anyone to know who they are … or they don’t believe they can succeed unless they go underground.

I’ll bet those plotters tell their kids and grandkids all the time, “The ends does not justify the means.”

Then why is doing wrong okay for them?

Second, the key to getting rid of any leader is to smear his reputation with falsehoods.

The Gospels tell us those who plotted to kill Jesus had to resort to lying to get rid of Him.

They accused Him of sedition against Rome and blaspheming against God.  History records that both charges were false … but they worked at the time.

In Frank Pastore’s case, when he didn’t join the plotters, he says: “… they put a kinder, gentler hit on me – character assassination by slander and gossip.  To my face they acted as though nothing had changed.  But all the while, they were destroying my reputation.”

How in the world can professing Christians do this to a fellow believer?

Over the past few years, I’ve heard dozens of stories from pastors who have been forced out of their churches.  And in nearly every case, the plotters have lied to smear the pastor and gain adherents.

But friends, make no mistake: resorting to lies to get rid of a Christian leader is satanic. 

And when a believer joins forces with the father of lies, it’s always soul-damaging.

Please resolve that you will always tell the truth about Christian leaders – even those you don’t like – and that you will not pass on information unless you know it’s true.

Third, plotters will vilify anyone whom they view as a threat.

After his initial meeting with the plotters, Frank Pastore knew too much.  And when he wouldn’t go along with the plotters, they marked him for blackballing.

I can’t prove this, but my guess is that the pastor in my introductory story chose to vilify that worker by name because he knew too much about the pastor’s extracurricular activities.

Here’s how things often work behind the scenes:

Person/Group A does something wrong.

Person B observes/knows what they did … and Person/Group A knows that they know.

Person/Group A insinuates to Person B: “If I/we find out that you’ve told anyone about what we’ve done, I/we will make sure that you are blackballed.”

Because Person B has his own skeletons (don’t we all?), and doesn’t know what Person/Group A knows, Person B agrees to keep his mouth shut.

But because Person/Group A can’t take a chance that Person B will talk, Person/Group A privately blackballs Person B anyway.

This should never happen among Christians … but it does – all the time – especially when an innocent pastor is forcibly terminated.

One would hope that once Person B knows about the plot, Person/Group A would repent and drop the whole thing, but they usually don’t because …

Finally, the end game of the plotters is to take over their church/school/Christian organization.

Why did the Jewish leaders plot to kill Jesus?

Because He was becoming too influential … and they wanted their power back.

Why did the plotters in Frank Pastore’s story want to stage a coup against the school’s president?

Because they hoped to have more of a say on who the next president would be … and if they helped to choose him, they would have more say over school direction.

Why do factions and church boards plot to get rid of their pastor?

Because they believe the pastor has acquired too much authority and they covet that authority for themselves.

When I went through a horrendous conflict in a church that I served as pastor 4 1/2 years ago, I could not initially understand what the plotters were after.

My father-in-law – a veteran Christian leader – told me frankly, “Jim, it’s the same thing in every situation … this is all about power.”

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

When you don’t like your pastor … or your school’s president … or a self-proclaimed Messiah … you can handle it by the Spirit, or by the flesh.

Handle it by the Spirit, and everybody wins.

Handle it by the flesh, and everybody loses.

Your move.

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