This morning, I went to the post office to mail a package and buy stamps.
This meant that I would have to wait in a long line, but I was up for it … I thought.
The line was long, with maybe 15 seniors ahead of me … but even though there are 4 “windows” at our post office, there were only 2 clerks.
Directly behind me in line was a young mother … holding a toddler while pushing a large stroller … trying to balance several packages on top of her stroller.
I mentally told myself, “When it’s my turn, I’ll let that mother go ahead of me.”
While we were waiting, a third clerk appeared and began waiting on customers on the far left side.
After interminable waiting, a customer left the third clerk’s station, and I was next … but first, I let the struggling mother go ahead, and she thanked me as she passed by.
I assumed she would go to the clerk on the left, but as she passed me, the middle window opened up, and she stopped there … so I went to the clerk on the left … who had now disappeared without warning.
I waited … and waited …and heard someone talking on the phone.
Finally, that third clerk appeared, and when she saw me, she asked, “Did I call you over here?”
I was startled.
I asked her, “What would you like me to do?” I tried to explain that her window had been open … I didn’t know it had closed … I thought she would be there when I arrived … but she didn’t care.
Maybe I was supposed to wait until she said, “Next!”
I had violated some sort of unwritten protocol … like when George and Elaine visited the Soup Nazi and were told, “No soup for you!”
The clerk didn’t want to hear any explanations … and I was feeling very uncomfortable. I’m not going to argue with a government employee in public … especially since I go to that post office all the time.
So I told her I would leave her station … told the next person in line to take my place … and got back in line and waited for another – more civil – clerk.
And when I did, I overheard that clerk talk to the next customer about me … but I wasn’t going back to her window.
(I tend to be a charming and cooperative customer … unless my dignity is assaulted in public.)
When conflict arises – and it does nearly every day for most of us – God’s people need to be assertive (standing up for ourselves) without being aggressive (adding anger to assertiveness).
Theologian/author R. C. Sproul once visited a department store with his young daughter and felt that a clerk was treating him rudely. Rather than address the clerk, Sproul said to his daughter – within earshot of the clerk: “When you grow up, I hope you learn to treat people with respect and dignity, unlike this clerk.”
Have you ever said anything like that? I have … but there’s another way to handle things.
Proverbs 17:14 says, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
Proverbs 20:3 adds, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
If you find yourself in a conflict situation, and disagreement escalates into arguing, rather than fault the other person and exonerate yourself … sometimes the wisest course is to walk away.
Especially if you find yourself inside a government building.
Restoring Kingdom Builders 
Buying Influence in God’s House
Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment!, tagged 1 Timothy 6:17-19, church corruption, conflict and church bullies, influence peddling in the church, money and the church, pastors and wealthy believers, wealthy church leaders on December 11, 2013| 2 Comments »
How much influence should people with money have in a local church?
According to the New Testament, while wealthy people are welcome in a church – after all, everybody needs Jesus – they are not to use their wealth to make demands or influence decisions.
Probably the best passage along this line is 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Paul writes:
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.
During my 36 years in church ministry, I cannot remember a single time when a wealthy believer threatened to give or not give unless I did what he or she wanted.
Maybe some gave more if they liked the ministry, and gave less if they didn’t, but I was never aware of anyone using their wealth as a bargaining chip to get their way.
But this does happen in churches today … as the following two examples attest.
Several months ago, I received a phone call from a pastor and his wife on the East Coast. This couple were both upset because he had been invited to a committee meeting that night, and he had received advance notice that he would be asked for his resignation.
Why? Because a wealthy and influential woman on the committee didn’t like the pastor and decided his ministry was over.
While this committee could advise the pastor, it lacked the authority to fire him. As I recall, the pastor could only be removed from office by congregational vote.
But, this pastor told me, this woman had run out the previous three pastors, and he was next on her list.
And because of her wealth and influence, nobody in the church had the guts to stand up to her.
I gave the pastor some counsel on how he could do exactly that … but I never found out what happened.
However, I do know what happened with a pastor friend of mine.
My friend had been pastoring a church for three years. A wealthy board member insisted that the pastor do ministry a certain way. The pastor resisted his demands. (The pastor was typically labeled uncooperative.)
The wealthy board member then threatened to leave the church. The pastor was willing to let him go, but the other board members wanted him to stay because he was wealthy. (The more he gave, the less they had to give.)
So they talked him into staying … and then the entire board turned against the pastor and fired him outright. Because of the pastor’s age, his career in church ministry is essentially over.
And that rich board member quickly hired a pastor that he wanted to run the church … but know that board member will really be running the church through the pastor.
And yet who does God call to lead a local church: a wealthy “board member” or a godly pastor?
Let me share three principles about pastors and wealthy donors:
First, pastors ultimately serve Almighty God, not the Almighty Dollar.
Most pastors cannot be bought, and that’s how it should be. While pastors are sometimes aware of who has money in a church … clothes, cars, houses, and vacations make this obvious … no pastor can let people with money dictate how a ministry is going to be run.
As Paul says in the 1 Timothy 6 passage above, the rich are “to put their hope in God” … not wealth … and the pastor is to do the same.
If a pastor … or a board … or a congregation lets money make decisions, then money has become that church’s god, and the church will eventually experience freefall.
Every church needs to make sure that its priorities are GOD/MONEY, never MONEY/GOD.
Second, pastors are wise to listen to the wealthy, but not obey their dictates.
Some relatively poor Christians give generously to their church, while some wealthy believers give little, so there’s no direct correlation between wealth and donations. In fact, some wealthy people manage their income poorly and are in debt up to their eyeballs.
So just because someone has money doesn’t mean they should be given disproportionate influence in their church. I always tried to hear the concerns of those who donated generously – they were heavily invested in the church’s future, after all – but I could never allow their desires to determine ministry direction or priorities.
Finally, pastors need to confront anyone who uses money as a weapon – even if that means they leave the church.
“Now listen, pastor, I insist that we hire a full-time youth pastor. If you do, I’ll pay for the remodeling of the youth room, but if you don’t, our family can’t stay at this church any longer.”
“Well, Joe, I’m sorry you feel that way. I am God’s man, and I cannot be bought, so if that’s your attitude, I encourage your family to find somewhere else to worship.”
“Pastor, you need to know that others agree with me, and they are willing to remove you as pastor if you don’t do things our way.”
“Really, Joe? Who are these people? What are their names?”
“I can’t reveal any confidences, pastor, but if I leave, they’re going with me.”
“Well, Joe, that may be the case, but unless you’re going to pastor a new church, those people are fools to follow you anywhere.”
Okay, maybe the pastor shouldn’t make that last statement … but it feels good to say it!
I thank God for the wealthy believers that I have known over the years who loved the Lord … served faithfully … gave without strings … offered occasional suggestions … but let their pastor lead the church under Christ’s headship.
I suspect this is reality in most churches. But when the wealthy try and buy influence in a church, they need to be confronted … or shown the door.
How much influence do you believe people with money should have in a church?
Share this:
Read Full Post »