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That Independent Streak in Pastors

January 10, 2014 by Jim Meyer

Not long ago, a pastor told me that a key leader in his church was angry with him.

When I asked the pastor why, he replied that he had refused to marry that leader’s daughter because her fiancée was not a professing believer.

The leader’s attitude seemed to be, “I help pay your salary and volunteer my time around here, so my daughter is entitled to be married in my home church by my pastor.”

The pastor’s attitude seemed to be, “I promised to obey the Word of God at my ordination, and since Scripture forbids the marriage of a believer to an unbeliever, I cannot in good conscience perform that wedding.”

I’ve had church members say to me, “Come on, pastor, can’t you be flexible in this case?  It would really mean a lot to our family.”

I understand that sentiment completely … but the answer still has to be “no.”

But when a pastor doesn’t do something that a prominent member wants him to do, conflict can easily break out.

Pastors are asked to do many things they simply cannot do, either because God’s Word condemns a practice, or because their conscience won’t permit them to do it.

For example, in the churches I’ve pastored, I’ve been asked to:

*Publicly support home schooling while condemning the public school system.

*Stop preaching on any topic that’s even remotely political.

*Give weekly altar calls.

*Forbid the youth from attending Christian rock concerts.

*Go back to singing the old hymns.

*Wear a suit every Sunday (long after I ditched the suit altogether).

*Insist that my two-year-old son sit in the morning worship service.

*Tell people at a funeral that their deceased loved one was in heaven when I didn’t know his/her spiritual condition.

In each of the above cases, I said “no.”

I’m sure that when I refused, I upset some people … but had I said, “Yes,” I would have upset even more.

And more than anything … especially on the preaching issue … I would have upset the Lord.

Most … if not all … pastors believe that they work primarily for the Lord.

So when a board member says to a pastor, “I insist you do this,” the pastor’s attitude may come off as, “I work for the Lord, not for you.”

That board member then interprets the pastor’s attitude as one of non-cooperation … or even defiance … and the board as a whole may start to think, “We can’t control this guy … and he seems insubordinate.  Let’s get rid of him.”

I believe that this independent/control dichotomy is one of the main reasons why there is so much friction between pastors and board members today.

The board forgets that their pastor has been called to ministry by Almighty God … and that call has been confirmed by God’s people through the process of ordination.

Ordination does not confer infallibility (nor insensitivity) on a pastor … but it does mean that the pastor’s call to lead and preach has been recognized by his home congregation.

My friend Charles Wickman, founder of the Pastor-in-Residence program and author of the book Pastors at Risk, told me on several occasions that he believes that every local church should celebrate the anniversary of their pastor’s call to ministry on an annual basis.   It’s a way of reminding the congregation, “This man isn’t ours to control.  This is God’s man.”

Yes, pastors need to be sensitive to the needs and wishes of the board, the staff, and the congregation … and sometimes, they aren’t.

For example, on one occasion, the elders of my church were evaluating my preaching at a retreat.  The quietest board member told me, “I don’t like it when you elevate your favorite baseball team at the expense of my favorite team.”

He was right …  I did that several times a year.

Since it wasn’t a big deal, I stopped.

But when a board member once told me that I couldn’t raise money … I was not a happy camper … and justifiably so.

While this topic needs further exploration, let me ask you:

Do you know how and when your pastor was called into ministry?

Before you insist that he follow your dictates, find out … and you just might learn why he acts the way he does.

Posted in Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor | Tagged , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Tangled up in Church

January 3, 2014 by Jim Meyer

My wife and I were enjoying a fine dining experience at In-N-Out Burger the other night when I overheard a conversation at the table next to us.

An elderly gentleman … after using the terms “church” and “split” … told his assembled friends, “We are not going to get tangled up in church anymore.”

There was a time when I would have thought, “That man and his wife will not be able to grow spiritually outside the realm of a local church.”  And there is undoubtedly some truth in that thinking.

But I’m hearing of more and more people who are walking away from church … not for doctrinal reasons … but because there are just too many conflicts.

One Christian friend told me that he and his wife really liked their pastor … but one day, their pastor resigned and disappeared.

So the church called a new pastor.  My friend’s wife especially liked him.  But after he was there a short while, a bully forced the pastor to resign.

At that point, my friend and his wife said, “We’ve had enough of this.  We’re not going to invest our lives in church anymore.”

They still love and follow Jesus, but they’ve tossed in the towel on the institutional church … at least for now.

Another Christian friend told me that he had attended five churches over the past few years.  And in every church, a major conflict eventually broke out – almost always involving the pastor – and my friend decided that he couldn’t take it anymore.

So he no longer attends a local church.

When I was a pastor, sometimes newcomers would tell me, “We’ve just come from a church that suffered a horrific conflict.  We’re a bit shell-shocked right now, so we want to take time to heal before we volunteer to do anything.”

At the time, I didn’t completely understand.

But after being in the middle of a major conflict several years ago, now I do.  Going through a conflict can make a believer more guarded … less trusting … and even paranoid.

I’m all for winning unbelievers to Christ.  But while we’re seeking to bring the lost into our churches, how conscious are we that conflicts are driving the found out of our churches?

Several weeks ago, I met a Christian leader who travels the world presenting the gospel.  When I mentioned to him that American churches are rife with conflict, he responded matter-of-factly, “It’s not just America.  It’s a problem all over the world.”

How can we reduce and resolve conflicts in churches?

Let me offer four quick solutions:

First, pastors need to teach the biblical way to resolve conflicts at least annually.

If the pastor doesn’t do it, it won’t happen.  If it’s not done annually, people will forget.  As a pastor, I used to plan a brief “unity” series every November … right before our church’s annual meetings.  Whenever this is done, it should be viewed as essential.

Second, pastors need to model biblical peacemaking.

Most pastors try and cultivate an image of perfection … even when it comes to relationships.  But when pastors act like they’re always right … which they aren’t … they don’t model biblical confession and forgiveness.  I used to admit to my children when I messed up, hoping to demonstrate humility and reconciliation for them.  Pastors need to model healthy interpersonal behavior as well.

Third, church leaders need to address potential conflicts sooner rather than later.

Whenever a church suffers a pastoral termination … or a church split … the signs of discontent were usually present beforehand.  Let’s learn to read the signs and resolve issues before the sun goes down (Ephesians 4:25-27) or it’s like giving the devil the keys to our church.

Finally, bullying in church must be exposed and outlawed.

There are people in every church who use intimidation to get their way.  They threaten to leave the church … take others with them … withhold their giving … and throw the church into chaos unless church is done their way.  Bullies use threats and make demands.  Spiritual people share their concerns and abide by the decisions of their leaders … or leave quietly.

And most churchgoers are unaware of this behavior because it happens behind the scenes … and because bullies usually charm their followers in public.

This behavior in our churches must stop.  We need to realize that bullying has consequences … including the damaging of people’s souls.

Many years ago, I attended a major league baseball game with a friend (who happened to be chairman of the church board).

We took the local rapid transit train toward home, when suddenly, a nasty fight broke out in one of the cars between two men … one a fan of the local team, the other a Yankee fan.

These guys were determined to hurt each other.  They were hitting each other … hard.  Knives and guns could have emerged next.

Know what happened?

Everybody ran into adjoining cars … as far away as they could … so they wouldn’t be injured.

When pastors and church boards fight … when staff members are disloyal to their pastor … when a faction rises up to remove the pastor … most people run.

They don’t want to be caught in the crossfire.

And they don’t want to watch people they love hurt one another.

Let’s create ways to prevent conflicts in churches so that God always wins and Satan always loses.

How can we do this better?  I’d love to hear your ideas.

Posted in Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments »

Four Thoughts about the Duck Dynasty Controversy

December 23, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I’ve only seen four episodes of Duck Dynasty, all of them through the magic of a Roku box.

While eating frogs, duck calls, and blowing up beaver dams aren’t my preferred style of entertainment, I can see why they’re amusing to many people.

Right now, everyone seems to be weighing in on Duck Commander Phil Robertson’s recent comments about homosexuality to an interviewer from GQ.

So let me share some broader thoughts about the way Christians -like Commander Phil – communicate to the culture:

First, the gulf between culture and Christians is widening at an accelerated rate.

Popular culture doesn’t care what Christians think or believe anymore.

Thirty years ago, politicians asked, “How will this play in Peoria?”  There was a cultural sensitivity toward middle America, which included devout believers.

That’s now gone.  When an artist writes a song or a producer funds a film, nobody considers how Christians will react.

As the culture races to experiment with new moralities and family structures, most Christians hold the same beliefs we did twenty centuries ago … and because we’re not playing along, the perception is that we’re standing in the way of “progress.”

Today’s article from Atlantic Monthly writer Larry Alex Taunton explains this divide well and is worth reading:

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/12/the-genuine-conflict-being-ignored-in-the-i-duck-dynasty-i-debate/282587/

Second, we Christians are losing our ability to say anything meaningful to the culture.

Christian leaders remain unaware of how they sound to a postmodern culture.

Last week, I watched an interview with a prominent megachurch pastor on a national news station concerning the Phil Robertson controversy.  I’d give that pastor a “B+” for talking to Christians but a “D-” talking to the culture.

Why?

Because when most evangelical pastors are given a public forum … even when they preach … they speak only to their constituency.

You can hear it in their language … tone of voice … lack of sensitivity … and, sad to say, arrogant assumptions.

Let’s face it: in the culture-at-large, evangelicals have few spokesmen who can address an issue with both truth and sensitivity.

If some truth is missing, Christians will be angry.

If some sensitivity is missing, the culture becomes angry.

What works in our pulpits doesn’t always translate well to secular journalists.

Phil Robertson spoke biblical truth, but his coarse language made him sound angry.  Because his views and manner play well with his family, church, and region, he’s probably expressed himself like that scores of time in the past without recrimination.

But his words didn’t resonate well with millions in our culture this time.

I believe that Jesus wants His followers to win souls rather than arguments.

When we focus on being right, we win few if any souls.

But when we focus on souls, we’re forced to speak the truth in love … and in the process, we win more people to Jesus.

Third, when Christians speak to the culture, we need to lead with arguments followed by Scripture.

Increasingly, our culture doesn’t believe in God … or the God of the Bible … and rejects the Bible itself.

So when we quote Scripture to make a point, most people shrug it off … like Christians would if Muslims quoted from The Koran.

Last week, I even heard a prominent conservative commentator call Christians ignorant because of some of our biblical beliefs.

We have to know our audience better.

Sometimes Jesus went right to Scripture while teaching … like He did in Matthew 22:34-40.

Sometimes Jesus made arguments first and then quoted Scripture … like He did in Matthew 22:23-33.

Sometimes Jesus bypassed Scripture altogether and just told a story …. like He did in Matthew 20:1-16.

When Phil Robertson quoted Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:9, some of his hearers thought he was equating homosexuality with beastiality and murder.

They missed his point that we’re all sinners … because gays and their apologists don’t believe they’re doing anything wrong when they have sex with each other.  Because what they’re doing is legal … and even moral to millions … Christians seem to be attacking a practice that’s already culturally acceptable.  

I wish Robertson had gone on to read verse 11 because it encapsulates the gospel message: “And that is what some of you were.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Paul says that regardless of our sin – even adultery or homosexuality – Christ can wash us clean … declare us righteous … and make us whole.

Maybe the truths of verse 9 would have been better received if the good news from verse 11 had been added.

Finally, the more controversial the issue, the more articulate Christians need to be.

Throughout the course of my pastoral ministry, I didn’t shy away from any controversial issue in the culture.

I presented entire messages about the New Atheists … Intelligent Design … homosexuality … abortion … racism … and gay marriage, just to name a few.

But before I delivered those messages, I studied all of Scripture on that issue … became familiar with secular arguments … wrote out my message in manuscript form … and was very careful about what I said.

Because if I offend people with the way I say something, then they won’t be open to the biblical position I’m trying to convey.

When discussing homosexuality in public – still an incredibly sensitive topic to millions – Christians need to preface their remarks by saying something like this every time:

“The Bible teaches from Genesis to Revelation that sexual expression belongs only inside a committed heterosexual marriage relationship.  For a follower of Christ, this rules out premarital sex … extramarital sex … and same gender sex.”

I’ve often began discussions about male homosexuality by asking this question: “What do you think of anonymous and promiscuous sex?”

My guess is that most people think sex should have some aspect of commitment and love built into it.

Then say, “That’s why the Bible is against homosexual conduct … even when two gay men are married … because one or both partners nearly always give the other permission to engage in anonymous and promiscuous sexual activity outside their own relationship.”

And those facts have rarely been considered by those who champion homosexual behavior.

One wonders: why have Christians singled out homosexual behavior when heterosexual sexual sins are far more common?

My guess: because those who commit heterosexual sins aren’t organized (there’s no equivalent of GLAAD for adulterers) and aren’t considered a threat to the practice of Christianity in our culture.

I wish those who espouse the blessings of homosexual conduct and gay marriage took the time to understand how scary militant homosexuality comes across to devout Christians.

Last week, I ran across a comment from an expert who stated that civil rights should trump religious rights … and that’s what scares Christians to death.

We’re afraid that we’re going to become a persecuted minority … or even extinct … for practicing our faith the way we always have.

While Christians and gay advocates may never agree on the topic of sex, can we at least agree to COEXIST and COMMUNICATE in ways that demonstrate compassion, dignity, and respect?

If so, then maybe this whole Duck Dynasty controversy will have done some good.

Posted in Current Church Issues, Please Comment! | Tagged , , | 7 Comments »

Playing Santa

December 20, 2013 by Jim Meyer

How would you like to have Santa Claus sitting in your living room for two hours?

That’s what happened at our house last night … and I was the one who played Santa.

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I agreed to be Santa for a party my wife Kim was having for her preschool children and their families.

But playing Santa isn’t as easy as it sounds.  There are so many decisions to make:

First, where do you buy a Santa suit?

Amazon has scores of them … in all price ranges … but I didn’t want to pay too much for a suit … and the variety was confusing.

In the end, we drove to Walmart, ventured into the Christmas area, hoped we’d find a suit … and they had just one left.

Second, how well does the Santa suit fit?

The hat, wig, and beard were okay … as were the pants … but Santa’s shirt was attached with Velcro, and I couldn’t insert a pillow without busting open the shirt.

So … compared to other Santas … I looked relatively thin.

My wife put baby powder on my eyebrows and face, so it looked like Santa had just come from the North Pole.

However, after putting the suit on, I noticed small red threads embedded into the carpet.

It’s not even Christmas and the Santa suit is already unraveling.

Third, how does Santa enter the living room?

In our place, there are only three options: the hallway, the sliding glass door to the backyard, and the front door.

Since it rained yesterday, I opted for the front door … just went through the garage, magically appeared on the doorstep, and rang the bell.

Fourth, how does Santa interact with the children?

I searched online for Santa tips, and settled on these four questions:

*What is your name?

*How old are you?

*Have you been naughty or nice?  (Every kid said they’d been nice.)

*What would you like for Christmas?  (Favorite answers: a skateboard or a dollhouse … although one kid wanted the latest Playstation.)

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I didn’t promise to bring specific gifts to any child.  I merely stated that Santa’s sleigh is already full and that he’ll see what he can do.

Santa doesn’t want a broken promise to harm a child’s trust.

Fifth, how well does Santa pose for photos?

Although I posed for dozens of pictures, no smile was visible through my beard.

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Some might say that Santa looks emotionally repressed … but when I remembered, I did say, “Ho ho ho” a lot.

Sixth, how did the kids respond to Santa?

Some walked right up to me and immediately posed for photos.

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Some approached me with trepidation, but finally sat on my lap.

A few played games nearly at my feet.

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Several children were petrified that Santa was anywhere near them.

Most kids were happy to take a candy cane.

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Several kids asked me where Rudolph was.  I told them that after Rudolph and the other reindeer dropped me off, they went flying through the sky, and would pick me up when the night was over.

The kids seemed to buy it.

Finally, were there any surprises about playing Santa?

Yes … the suit is warm, and after two hours, I was relieved to remove it.

I also discovered that it’s hard to eat anything when you’re playing Santa because pieces of the beard get caught in your mouth.

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The families seemed to have a great time.  After everybody left, we didn’t have any cupcakes … M & M’s … cookies … or any other goodies left.

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Playing Santa is hard work.  I’m exhausted today.

But at least a dozen families had their own personal Santa for a little while … without having to stand in line at the mall and pay for pictures … and in the end, a good time was had by all.

But if you want me to come to your place and play Santa … you’ll have to speak with Miss Kim first.

And I’m not sure Rudolph wants to go out again before Christmas Eve.

Posted in Personal Stories | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Buying Influence in God’s House

December 11, 2013 by Jim Meyer

How much influence should people with money have in a local church?

According to the New Testament, while wealthy people are welcome in a church – after all, everybody needs Jesus – they are not to use their wealth to make demands or influence decisions.

Probably the best passage along this line is 1 Timothy 6:17-19.  Paul writes:

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.  In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

During my 36 years in church ministry, I cannot remember a single time when a wealthy believer threatened to give or not give unless I did what he or she wanted.

Maybe some gave more if they liked the ministry, and gave less if they didn’t, but I was never aware of anyone using their wealth as a bargaining chip to get their way.

But this does happen in churches today … as the following two examples attest.

Several months ago, I received a phone call from a pastor and his wife on the East Coast.  This couple were both upset because he had been invited to a committee meeting that night, and he had received advance notice that he would be asked for his resignation.

Why?  Because a wealthy and influential woman on the committee didn’t like the pastor and decided his ministry was over.

While this committee could advise the pastor, it lacked the authority to fire him.  As I recall, the pastor could only be removed from office by congregational vote.

But, this pastor told me, this woman had run out the previous three pastors, and he was next on her list.

And because of her wealth and influence, nobody in the church had the guts to stand up to her.

I gave the pastor some counsel on how he could do exactly that … but I never found out what happened.

However, I do know what happened with a pastor friend of mine.

My friend had been pastoring a church for three years.  A wealthy board member insisted that the pastor do ministry a certain way.  The pastor resisted his demands.  (The pastor was typically labeled uncooperative.)

The wealthy board member then threatened to leave the church.  The pastor was willing to let him go, but the other board members wanted him to stay because he was wealthy.  (The more he gave, the less they had to give.)

So they talked him into staying … and then the entire board turned against the pastor and fired him outright.  Because of the pastor’s age, his career in church ministry is essentially over.

And that rich board member quickly hired a pastor that he wanted to run the church … but know that board member will really be running the church through the pastor.

And yet who does God call to lead a local church: a wealthy “board member” or a godly pastor?

Let me share three principles about pastors and wealthy donors:

First, pastors ultimately serve Almighty God, not the Almighty Dollar.

Most pastors cannot be bought, and that’s how it should be.  While pastors are sometimes aware of who has money in a church … clothes, cars, houses, and vacations make this obvious … no pastor can let people with money dictate how a ministry is going to be run.

As Paul says in the 1 Timothy 6 passage above, the rich are “to put their hope in God” … not wealth … and the pastor is to do the same.

If a pastor … or a board … or a congregation lets money make decisions, then money has become that church’s god, and the church will eventually experience freefall.

Every church needs to make sure that its priorities are GOD/MONEY, never MONEY/GOD.

Second, pastors are wise to listen to the wealthy, but not obey their dictates.

Some relatively poor Christians give generously to their church, while some wealthy believers give little, so there’s no direct correlation between wealth and donations.  In fact, some wealthy people manage their income poorly and are in debt up to their eyeballs.

So just because someone has money doesn’t mean they should be given disproportionate influence in their church.  I always tried to hear the concerns of those who donated generously – they were heavily invested in the church’s future, after all – but I could never allow their desires to determine ministry direction or priorities.

Finally, pastors need to confront anyone who uses money as a weapon – even if that means they leave the church.

“Now listen, pastor, I insist that we hire a full-time youth pastor.  If you do, I’ll pay for the remodeling of the youth room, but if you don’t, our family can’t stay at this church any longer.”

“Well, Joe, I’m sorry you feel that way.  I am God’s man, and I cannot be bought, so if that’s your attitude, I encourage your family to find somewhere else to worship.”

“Pastor, you need to know that others agree with me, and they are willing to remove you as pastor if you don’t do things our way.”

“Really, Joe?  Who are these people?  What are their names?”

“I can’t reveal any confidences, pastor, but if I leave, they’re going with me.”

“Well, Joe, that may be the case, but unless you’re going to pastor a new church, those people are fools to follow you anywhere.”

Okay, maybe the pastor shouldn’t make that last statement … but it feels good to say it!

I thank God for the wealthy believers that I have known over the years who loved the Lord … served faithfully … gave without strings … offered occasional suggestions … but let their pastor lead the church under Christ’s headship.

I suspect this is reality in most churches.  But when the wealthy try and buy influence in a church, they need to be confronted … or shown the door.

How much influence do you believe people with money should have in a church?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Dealing with Incivility Wisely

December 9, 2013 by Jim Meyer

This morning, I went to the post office to mail a package and buy stamps.

This meant that I would have to wait in a long line, but I was up for it … I thought.

The line was long, with maybe 15 seniors ahead of me … but even though there are 4 “windows” at our post office, there were only 2 clerks.

Directly behind me in line was a young mother … holding a toddler while pushing a large stroller … trying to balance several packages on top of her stroller.

I mentally told myself, “When it’s my turn, I’ll let that mother go ahead of me.”

While we were waiting, a third clerk appeared and began waiting on customers on the far left side.

After interminable waiting, a customer left the third clerk’s station, and I was next … but first, I let the struggling mother go ahead, and she thanked me as she passed by.

I assumed she would go to the clerk on the left, but as she passed me, the middle window opened up, and she stopped there … so I went to the clerk on the left … who had now disappeared without warning.

I waited … and waited …and heard someone talking on the phone.

Finally, that third clerk appeared, and when she saw me, she asked, “Did I call you over here?”

I was startled.

I asked her, “What would you like me to do?”  I tried to explain that her window had been open … I didn’t know it had closed … I thought she would be there when I arrived … but she didn’t care.

Maybe I was supposed to wait until she said, “Next!”

I had violated some sort of unwritten protocol … like when George and Elaine visited the Soup Nazi and were told, “No soup for you!”

The clerk didn’t want to hear any explanations … and I was feeling very uncomfortable.  I’m not going to argue with a government employee in public … especially since I go to that post office all the time.

So I told her I would leave her station … told the next person in line to take my place … and got back in line and waited for another – more civil – clerk.

And when I did, I overheard that clerk talk to the next customer about me …  but I wasn’t going back to her window.

(I tend to be a charming and cooperative customer … unless my dignity is assaulted in public.)

When conflict arises – and it does nearly every day for most of us – God’s people need to be assertive (standing up for ourselves) without being aggressive (adding anger to assertiveness).

Theologian/author R. C. Sproul once visited a department store with his young daughter and felt that a clerk was treating him rudely.  Rather than address the clerk, Sproul said to his daughter – within earshot of the clerk: “When you grow up, I hope you learn to treat people with respect and dignity, unlike this clerk.”

Have you ever said anything like that?  I have … but there’s another way to handle things.

Proverbs 17:14 says, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”

Proverbs 20:3 adds, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”

If you find yourself in a conflict situation, and disagreement escalates into arguing, rather than fault the other person and exonerate yourself … sometimes the wisest course is to walk away.

Especially if you find yourself inside a government building.

Posted in Personal Stories, Please Comment! | Tagged | 4 Comments »

Will Our Church Prosper if the Pastor Leaves?

December 4, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Would your church be better off without your present pastor?

Sometimes I’m surprised by how many lay people – especially board members – think this way.

Here’s a typical scenario:

Joseph is called to be the pastor of Trinity Church, which averages 80 people when he arrives.

Three years later, average church attendance stands at 240, meaning that Trinity has tripled in size.

While most churchgoers are excited by Trinity’s growth, three veteran couples – along with two board members – are very unhappy with Pastor Joseph.

Why?

They claim that he preaches too long … doesn’t offer enough invitations for salvation … doesn’t use enough Scripture when he preaches … isn’t involved in denominational work … and doesn’t listen to their ideas.

Most of their complaints are smokescreens … except the last one.

That’s the real issue: these pioneers sense that they’re losing control of their church.

Go back and read that last sentence again and note three key phrases:

these pioneers = since they’ve been in the church longer than most, the 8 believe that their feelings take precedence over the rest of the church.

losing control = the pastor’s values, ideas, and plans are being adopted by 95% of the congregation … while theirs aren’t being taken seriously by anyone.

their church = they mistakenly believe that the church is owned by human beings –  not Jesus Christ – who boldly proclaimed, “I will build My church!”

In all too many churches, some people are uncomfortable unless they’re running the church.  And when the pastor becomes too successful, they feel threatened … especially when he’s attracting too many newcomers … who seem to adore their pastor without knowing much of anything about the pioneers.

And the pioneers resent the influx of newcomers because they don’t know them and can’t control them.

In this case, the three couples and two board members – a total of 8 people – begin holding informal meetings … especially in restaurants and in each other’s homes.  These meetings are initially closed to anyone else.

The purpose?  To stop the chaos … and all the newcomers … and return the church to the way it used to be … when they were in charge!

If they’re that unhappy, why don’t the 8 just leave?

Because most of the time, they feel that they’ve invested too much time, sweat, and money to let someone else – even their pastor – run the ministry.

And so, 8 people meeting in secret will attempt to subvert the will of the other 232 people in the congregation just so they can alleviate their own anxiety.

It’s the height of selfishness … but this is precisely what happens in thousands of churches every year.

Of course, the pastor is too busy focusing on leading, preaching, counseling, and loving people to even pay attention to those secret little meetings.

And he’ll continue to be unaware when each of the 8 works their network and tries to recruit a few more people to join their subversive cause.

And then one day … after a Sunday service … or during a regularly-scheduled board meeting … the church board will ask the pastor for his resignation.

And the pastor will be so shocked that he’ll give it to them.

And after the pastor leaves, the following five things will happen at the church:

*The church board – and their network – will exaggerate charges against the pastor in an attempt to ruin his reputation so that people in the congregation drop all contact with him.

*Most of the pastor’s supporters will gradually leave the church – something the 8 never foresaw.

*The 8 will not be venerated, but vilified by most of the pastor’s supporters … causing several of them to leave the church.

*The congregation will struggle financially for a long time because (a) the pastor’s supporters took their money with them; (b) the church will now need to hire an interim pastor … usually at the same rate of pay that the pastor received; (c) the church will need to put together a search team for a new pastor; (d) several staff members will be released because the church can no longer pay them; (e) some ministries will have to be dismantled because the church can no longer staff them or fund them; and (f) overall costs will jump 10-15%.

Finally, the congregation will never fully heal because few people will ever learn the real reason why the pastor resigned … and most church leaders won’t want to tell the real story.

Wouldn’t it have been better for the 8 to leave the church quietly if they were that unhappy?

What do you think?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Pastoral Termination, Please Comment! | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Sympathy for the Pharisee

December 2, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Why do some professing Christians seem to hate particular Christian leaders?  That’s what I recently asked Dave Rolph, today’s guest blogger.

Pastor Dave Rolph

Dave is the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Pacific Hills in Aliso Viejo, California:  http://www.ccpacifichills.org/

Dave is also the teacher on the nationally-syndicated radio program The Balanced Word (he’s one of the best Bible teachers I know) and is the editor of The Word for Today Bible: http://www.amazon.com/Word-Today-Bible-Chuck-Smith/dp/0718009029/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386010957&sr=1-1&keywords=the+word+for+today+bible

Aside from his impressive credentials, Dave has been my friend through thick and thin for 45 years.  We attended the same church, graduated from the same college and seminary, and rooted for the same sports teams.

Here are Pastor Dave’s thoughts on this timely topic:

I think sometimes we are too hard on the Pharisees.  We are amazed by the fact that they rejected Jesus, hated Him, and were ultimately complicit in killing Him.  And while we rightfully regard them as being wrong, we are sometimes unfairly ignoring why they were the way they were.  When I put myself in the place of a Pharisee, I can at least understand their motivation.

The Pharisees were good, well-meaning people.  They knew the Bible well, and were plugged in with history and tradition.  They understood that all the past problems of the Jewish people had come about because of an attitude of syncretism, whereby their faith was watered down by paganism.

This compromise had been the cause of hundreds of years of slavery, and they were determined that they would never compromise again.  You can understand why they were frightened by this new, young radical rabbi named Jesus.

His teachings were unbiblical, in their eyes.  He was twisting the traditional practices and understandings, and reinterpreting their long-held convictions.

Associations were so important to Pharisees.  It was how they maintained their purity.  But Jesus was associating with all the wrong people.  Of course, the first century brought many radical cult leaders to Israel. Most of them weren’t seen as threats though.  What frightened the Pharisees the most about Jesus was His success.  If He were allowed to continue, He had the potential to swallow up everything they held holy.  He had to be stopped.  The future of the faith was at stake.  So they hated Him and they killed Him.

I get it, but it was tragically wrong.

Jesus told them that by hating and killing Him, they were simply repeating what their fathers had done to every prophet who came before Him.  It occurs to me that the sons of the Pharisees do the same thing, when they are threatened by new success.  It has happened throughout church history, where people were burned at the stake for doing things differently.  Radical ideas like translating the Bible into English, or suggesting that salvation comes by grace through simple faith in Jesus.

I get the hatred, and I understand the fear, but it was tragically wrong.

In my lifetime, I have seen good, conservative, fundamental people who love God, and hate Billy Graham, because he didn’t do things their way.  They didn’t like some of his associations.  They were afraid of his success.

I witnessed the same fear as I was saved, and began my association with Calvary Chapel and Pastor Chuck Smith.  Really good people who I greatly admired, including many of those at the college and seminary I ultimately graduated from, were threatened by a guy who would put dirty hippies on a stage.  These were new methods, new outreaches, and a frightening level of success.  Church as they knew it was in danger.

I now understand the hatred and fear. But it was tragically wrong.

Now almost every day I read about someone who seems to hate Pastor Rick Warren.  They are suspicious of his methodology.  His associations are sometimes disturbing.  He does things differently than they’ve ever been done before.  His success and notoriety are staggering.  His influence is frightening.  His approach threatens to swallow up everything that came before.

I get it. But like before, like always, it is tragically wrong.

I have sympathy for Pharisees.  I understand their motivation.  I have been one on occasion.

But they have always been wrong, and they are still tragically wrong.

What kind of hatred of Christian leaders have you witnessed?

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Current Church Issues, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Visiting John MacArthur

November 25, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Where in this world would you like to visit?

Great cities like London and Paris?

Great countries like Italy and Switzerland?

Great cultures like China and Kenya?

Any great churches you’d like to visit?

For decades, I’ve had one prominent church on my Bucket List: Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California … where John MacArthur has been senior pastor for 44 years.

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Yesterday, I finally visited the church with my wife.

MacArthur has positively impacted my life and ministry.  When I was 14, I attended Hume Lake Christian Camp, and MacArthur was the featured speaker.  His personal testimony and practical teaching motivated me to dedicate my life to Christ and read Scripture on a daily basis.  For that reason, I will always be grateful to Pastor John for the way God has used him in my life.

When I became a pastor, I read his books on spiritual gifts, God’s will, giving, the Beatitudes, worship, and the armor of God, among others.  And I’ve heard him speak many times.

But for many believers, MacArthur has gained a reputation as being hypercritical about the charismatic movement, the seeker movement, and the emerging church movement, among others.

In fact, sometimes I’ve received the impression that MacArthur is against more than he’s for.

So I wanted to see for myself: how does Grace Community do church?  HDJDM?  (How does John do ministry?)

Here are my impressions:

*Community.  The church is located in what looks like an older lower-middle class area.

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*Parking.  The main lot at Grace is good-sized but cannot contain all the cars.  People parked beyond the canal adjacent to the property, across the street, and on neighborhood streets (which is where we parked).

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*Demographics.  The congregation was a cross-section of young and old as well as African-American, Hispanic, Asian, and Caucasian individuals and families.  The line into the women’s restroom was out the door.

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*Dress.  Many men wore suits – including Pastor MacArthur – but the majority dressed semi-casually.

*Music.  During the first service, only hymns like “My Faith Has Found a Resting Place” and “My Faith Looks up to Thee” were sung.  They were played by a small orchestra.  A 100-voice choir with robes sang a hymn, as did a soloist during the offering.  The congregation didn’t sing any contemporary worship songs.  Everyone used hymnals.

*Sermon.  Pastor John spoke on John 6:1-15, the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand.  He looked at his notes far more than at the congregation, which surprised me.  He used the phrase “the truth” repeatedly.  His message contained few – if any – stories, and was heavy on exegesis.  The outline was simple, not special.  The message lasted about 55 minutes.  Some around me were nodding off.

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*Worship center.  I was surprised that:

  1. Most of the walls in the worship center – which are made out of brick – were bare.  No banners.  No verses.  No mission statements.
  2. The back of the church was bustling during Pastor John’s message.  Because the worship center lacks a lobby, people walk from outside directly into the worship center or vice versa.  Whenever someone opens a door, light streams in, creating a distraction – especially if you’re sitting in the back, where we were.
  3. There were no video screens, so we couldn’t see the pastor’s face or gestures from our vantage point.
  4. Everyone sat in pews.  No chairs or theater seating.

*Worship times.  There were two services: one at 8:30 am, another at 10:30 am.  The first service lasted 1 hour, 36 minutes.

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Ministry booths: There’s a section called Grace Walk that is lined with attractive ministry booths.

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Seminary: The Master’s Seminary is located toward the parking lot as you enter/leave the campus.

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If you closed your eyes, you’d think you were in 1969 … the same year that Pastor John came to Grace … and yet the place felt 99% full.  Some were even standing against the back walls.  And yet when people in my area were asked to raise their hands if this was their first time at Grace, the ushers handed out zero promotional packets.  The church does have a Visitor and Information Center, though.

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Fundamentalists are known for being both theologically and methodologically conservative.  I’m with MacArthur on theological essentials (we graduated from the same seminary), but differ from him on ministry methods.

Jerry Falwell used to say, “If it’s old, it’s good.  If it’s new, it’s bad.”  That’s what I sensed about Grace’s worship service.  My guess is that little has changed since MacArthur came more than 4 decades ago, which is truly amazing.  No worship wars at Grace.

My overall impressions:

Grace Community Church knows who they are, what they stand for, and who they’re trying to reach.

People come far more to hear Pastor John speak than for the music or overall worship experience.

The church seems oblivious to trends in both the church and secular worlds.

Why change anything?  The church practices excellence and functions like a well-oiled machine, attracting thousands every Sunday.

When Pastor John retires or joins Jesus, succeeding Pastor John may be an issue … but right now, he’s still going strong.

And I appreciate Pastor John because – even if you don’t agree with him – the church of Jesus Christ needs more prophetic voices.  Most pastors today are afraid to speak boldly on controversial issues because they don’t want to offend anybody.  If more pastors spoke prophetically – teaching God’s Word without regard for consequences – Pastor John wouldn’t stand out so much.

I was excited to visit Grace, but probably wouldn’t make this my church home.  Because I grew up in fundamentalist churches, I’ve been trying to escape their rigid outlook and judgmental tone for much of my life.  While I resonate with Grace’s emphasis on truth, I need a church that presents that truth in more contemporary and relevant packaging.

I wish Pastor John and Grace Community Church well as they reach people for Christ in a way that makes sense for them.

And I pray that they extend that same Grace to those pastors who do church differently than they do.

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Current Church Issues, Personal Stories, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments »

Ever Struggle with Public Speaking?

November 22, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Have you ever spoken in public and felt you bombed afterwards?

That happened to me on the day my daughter was born.

The men in our district were holding a rally at a local church, and someone asked me – one of the new area pastors – to be the guest speaker.

I sensed that God wanted me to talk about the power of the Holy Spirit, and so I prepared diligently … even working on my talk in my wife’s hospital room, both before and after birth.

Dinner that night went fine.  I received a polite introduction.  Then I started to speak … looked at the 85 men gathered in that room … and could barely talk.

For some reason, I couldn’t control my heartbeat … or my breathing … and my throat locked up on me.

I would talk … fight for air … gulp … but not be able to punch out the last few words of a sentence.

Was I embarrassed!  I wanted to die … especially when I noticed the unpleasant demeanor of a pastor whom I suspected didn’t like me anyway.

I had experienced one episode like this before: while preaching during Homiletics class in seminary.  While preaching on Christ’s temptation, the heartbeat/breathing/throat thing happened for the first time ever.  It got so bad that my professor came to the pulpit, stood next to me, and prayed for me in front of the class.

Billy Graham had nothing to worry about.

The following week, I gave the same message in class, and got through it just fine, so I figured that strange occurrence was an anomaly.

And for the next three years, I didn’t have any repeat episodes … until that scary August night.

Had I spoken well, I might have received invitations to be a guest speaker at other churches in the future.  But because I messed up, those invitations weren’t forthcoming.

I honestly didn’t know what had happened to me.  We didn’t have the internet then, so I couldn’t look up my symptoms online.  So years later, I went to the library and discovered a term that best described what happened:

Globus hystericus.

The English version?  Stage fright.

I learned that even singers like Carly Simon and Van Morrison have battled stage fright over the years.

While speaking in public bothers many people, I had always enjoyed it.  I told jokes when my extended family got together … volunteered to read in front of other students in school … talked in front of my youth group constantly … and preached to my home church dozens of times before – all without any problems.

But the seminary class and the men’s rally had one common factor: I wasn’t speaking to people I knew, but to strangers … and in some cases, unfriendly faces.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, it felt like I was on trial.

For the next few years, I spoke exclusively to my home church, and had few problems.  But when our church made plans to start over in a new location, I feared that I might experience stage fright again – and if I bombed, I wondered if my ministry career might be over.

Out of desperation, I made an appointment with a Christian counselor friend.  After I reluctantly shared my problem, he listed my options … including taking a beta blocker, which is designed to combat anxiety.

I opted for the beta blocker – which had to be prescribed by my doctor – and could not believe the difference.

When I spoke, I didn’t gasp for breath.  My heart didn’t race.  My throat didn’t lock up.  I could speak freely.

I stayed on the beta blocker for 7 or 8 years, but it was blunting my emotions, so I stopped taking it … and haven’t had a problem with speaking since.

By struggling with speaking, I learned three lessons:

First, everybody struggles with speaking at one time or another.

I once watched George H. W. Bush give his State of the Nation speech before Congress.  He gulped seven times.

Nearly 15 years ago, I was in the audience as my favorite preacher spoke before a group of pastors.  For the first five minutes, he struggled to regulate his breathing.

If a President and one of America’s greatest pastors sometimes struggle with public speaking, then I shouldn’t beat myself up when I struggle, either.

I just need to stay calm, take a deep breath, and keep going.

Second, there is help available if you’ll seek it out.

The night I bombed out before those men, I went home to an empty house because my wife was still in the hospital.

I called a long-time friend who was also a pastor.  He listened to my pain and encouraged me.  I don’t recall anything he said … just that he cared.

And I don’t think I confided in anyone until I consulted with that Christian counselor, who helped me immediately.

If I had only humbled myself and seen him sooner …

Third, sometimes our unresolved problems aren’t spiritual in nature.

I imagined that if I mentioned my problem to a Christian leader, that person would tell me that my problem was spiritual. 

They would say, “You’re not praying enough.  You’re obviously not prepared.  You must not be called to preach.”

That’s why I went to a Christian counselor.  But he didn’t diagnose my problem as being spiritual or even psychological.  In his mind, my problem was physical.

And when I corrected the physical problem, it was amazing how much more effective I became spiritually.

If you’re struggling with some issue right now, realize that others struggle with your issue … there is help available … and your problem may not be spiritual at all.

Now I don’t struggle with public speaking … but with putting what I write on the internet.

How has God helped you overcome your struggles?

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