In Simon and Garfunkel’s second album, Sounds of Silence, Paul Simon sang these lyrics with his partner on their song “Blessed” :
“Blessed is the stained glass, window pane glass,
Blessed is the church service, makes me nervous …”
In my last article, I mentioned that there are many elements during a worship service that can make people feel uncomfortable: the music, the greeting time, the sermon, the pastor’s voice … all kinds of things.
And I used the worship service as an example because it’s the most visible expression of what a church is about. During the worship time, a church is at its best. For a pastor, his whole week culminates in what happens during the 75 minutes or so when the congregation gathers together to focus on God.
But before, during, or after that worship experience, the anxiety level in a church can rise significantly.
And when anxiety rises, conflict escalates.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine that you attend a local church service this Sunday.
During the singing time – without introduction or explanation – a man who has cheated people out of investments sings a vocal selection … and most of the people in the church know his reputation.
How will people feel? Most who know him will feel upset … angry … ticked off … even violated. Why?
Because they instinctively believe that only people who are walking with the Lord should stand on that stage.
The anxiety level in that church is going to rise immediately … and people are going to react.
A few might get up and leave the worship center.
Others will write a scathing note to the pastor on their response card.
Still others will write a note to the person next to them (along the lines of “how can they let him sing?”) or whisper a similar statement instead.
After the service, some people will seek out the pastor or the music director to complain.
When the pastor gets home, he’ll receive some phone calls or emails from irate worshipers.
Because when people feel anxious, they react … and complain to others.
For years, I planned Sunday services every week with a team of gifted individuals.
We wanted people to focus on the Lord and the truth of His Word … but we didn’t want people to become complacent, either.
So from time-to-time, we’d take some risks during the service.
Most of the time, the risks worked.
But on occasion, they backfired … and I sometimes regretted what I did.
When I prepared the congregation for the risky element, they usually handled things with grace.
But when I sprung something on them without warning, some people became anxious and consequently reactive.
(I was once cast as Church Lady from SNL in a short drama during a Sunday service … and did a rap about sexual expression in marriage while wearing a dress. It just so happened that my father-in-law … a pastor, missionary, and professor … chose that Sunday to visit our church. Talk about anxiety!)
When a pastor springs a change on a congregation without adequate preparation, he is the cause of the anxiety floating through the church … and it’s the job of a leader to keep anxiety under control, not make it worse.
By the same token, though, even the slightest change in a church can send certain people into anxiety orbit.
Let me introduce you a woman named Ethel.
Ethel’s having a tough time in life right now.
Her husband lost his job, so the family is racking up debt.
Not only is her husband depressed, but he’s being tested for heart problems.
Ethel’s oldest son is on drugs, and can’t hold a job, so he’s living with his parents.
And Ethel feels overwhelmed trying to hold the family together.
When she goes to church on Sunday, she wants to know that God loves her, and that He will give her the strength and courage she needs to get through another week.
But when she arrives, she finds out that the worship director is no longer on the staff, and that someone with far less ability is now leading worship.
Because Ethel has been experiencing great anxiety at home, she can’t handle anymore anxiety at church … the one place she thought she could find peace.
So what does Ethel do with her anxiety?
Leave it at home?
Leave it with the Lord?
Leave it with her best friend?
No, Ethel starts complaining … to anyone who will listen.
The church is now in a dangerous place.
Why?
I’ll deal with that in my next article!
So right, I can’t wait to read the next post.
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Sounds like somebody who has lived it! Unfortunately, I’ve lived it all too many times …
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