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Discerning Your Church’s Spiritual Health

June 17, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Sometimes when I’m reading, I run across a comment that makes me stop and think long and hard.

That’s how I felt when I ran across this statement from Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander in their book Extreme Church Makeover:

“If I had to determine the spiritual health of a church on only one issue, I would find out if the governing board of the church consisted of people coming together to persuade each other of their own independent will or spiritually mature children of God coming together to collectively discern the will of God.”

In a nutshell, the authors are asking:

Are the members of the governing board first asking God about church direction, or are they first asking each other?

I’ve worked with boards that run the gamut on this question.  Here’s what I’ve noticed:

First, a spiritually mature board takes time to listen to God’s Word.

The church I pastored in the 90s did this at every meeting.  The chairman would choose a passage … some of them a bit on the long side … and he’d read it to us.  We’d discuss it afterward.

This simple act was a way of saying: “This board … and this church … are under the authority of the Word of God.  Before we do anything else … and before we talk among ourselves … we want to hear what God is saying to us.”

But I’ve also sat on boards where the Bible wasn’t read, or if it was, it was done hurriedly.  It’s like saying, “Let’s give God a nod but get right to the good stuff … our ideas.”

It seems to me that if a board is serious about Scripture, it will gravitate in the direction of fulfilling Christ’s Great Commission.

And its members will listen to what the Spirit is saying to their church.

Second, a spiritually mature board takes time to pray unhurriedly.

This may seem like a given, but I’ve sat in board meetings where we barely prayed at all.  I distinctly remember one meeting where neither the chairman nor anybody else prayed to open the meeting.

That meeting didn’t go well … and no wonder.  We didn’t invite God’s presence or direction into our time.

But I’ve been in many meetings where all the board members prayed before starting the meeting … everybody prayed at the conclusion of the meeting … and we’d stop and pray anytime we got stuck on an issue.

I’ve heard excuses for not doing this like “we can pray as individuals at home” or “we have such a packed agenda that we need to start immediately.”

But if the board is truly composed of a church’s most spiritual people, wouldn’t they want to ask God for His intervention in church life?

Didn’t Jesus tell His disciples, “Apart from me, you can do nothing?”

And that’s what happens when a board doesn’t take time to pray: nothing.

Third, a spiritually mature board values transparency concerning each person’s spiritual progress.

This can be done in conjunction with Scripture reading and prayer, but it’s essential … because only a board that’s growing spiritually can lead a church that’s growing spiritually and numerically.

As the Book of Malachi clearly specifies, as the leaders go, so go God’s people.

It seems to me there are three levels of sharing that go on between spiritual leaders:

Level One: how I’m doing at work

Level Two: how I’m doing with my family

Level Three: how I’m doing emotionally, morally, and spiritually

Most boards feel free to discuss Level One, especially if board members attend their meeting right after work.

Some board members will discuss certain family issues … especially the need for healing if a family member is physically ill.

But few if any board members will discuss their spiritual, moral, or emotional lives with each other … and yet Level Three represents the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth.

I once worked with a board where we had monthly meetings to discuss church issues … and weekly meetings to discuss our own spiritual growth.  The longer we met together, the more transparent we became with each other … and the more bonded we ended up becoming.

So when we came to do “board business,” decisions came quickly because we knew each other so well.

Finally, a spiritually mature board sets aside personal agendas and seeks God’s agenda for their church.

I once worked with a board member who had a dream: he wanted to see a worship center on the front lawn of our church’s property.

Our church at the time didn’t have a proper worship center, having met in a fellowship hall and a small gymnasium in the past.

This man was so influential that several of the buildings were named after members of his family!

But as God got ahold of his heart, he gave up his dream and chose to follow the Lord’s dream for that church instead.

And to do that, he pledged to follow the leadership of his pastor.

A prominent pastor once told me that several members of his governing board would meet in a restaurant before the official board meeting … and that was the real meeting.

Then they came to the official meeting and imposed their wills on everybody else.

That’s the exact opposite of what Anderson and Mylander are saying.

They believe that if board members say, “Our will be done,” that church is headed for disaster.

But if board members say, “Your will be done, Lord,” that church has a far greater chance to succeed.

In your church, do you think your board members are saying:

“Our will be done?”

or

“Lord, your will be done?”

Why don’t you take the time to find out?

Because the answer to those questions may well determine your church’s future … as well as your own spiritual growth.

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Please Comment! | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

Blocking the Great Commission

June 14, 2013 by Jim Meyer

“We’re on a mission from God.”

Those immortal words from the film The Blues Brothers – a movie I’ve only seen in edited form on TV – perfectly describe in succinct form what the church of Jesus Christ is all about.

God has given His people an assignment: to “make disciples of all nations.”

The assignment is not to hold worship services … or to preach sermons … or to construct buildings … or to fashion a church budget … or to create a shelter from the world for our kids … or to have a small group ministry.

Those are all means to one end: to fulfill Christ’s Great Commission.

Jesus’ final words to His disciples are found in various forms in Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 16:15; Luke 24:45-49; John 20:21-23; and Acts 1:8.

We worship God … listen to sermons … construct buildings … have youth groups and small groups and men’s groups and women’s groups … so we can make disciples of all nations.

And we do that by going … baptizing … and teaching (Matthew 28:19-20).

Most pastors know that carrying out the Great Commission is their divine assignment.

But from what I see and hear, most churches have flunked their assignment.  They aren’t making disciples … they aren’t baptizing new converts … and if they are teaching them Jesus’ words, their efforts have little to do with Christ’s divine mission.

In some cases, the pastor is the problem.  During my first few years as a pastor, I focused on helping believers grow spiritually – expecting they would share their faith with their network and eventually bring them to church.

But it never happened.

One year, I baptized one convert.

I asked myself, “What’s wrong with us?”  But in reality, I needed to ask “What’s wrong with me?”

Because in many ways, I was the problem.  I didn’t preach or prioritize the Great Commission at all … and our church was slowly dying.

Like many pastors, I was blocking the Great Commission in our church.

But once I realized my omission on the Commission, I changed my ways.  We built our church around Christ’s assignment and things changed dramatically.

But in talking to many pastors over the years, I realize that most know their God-given assignment, and want their church to go in that direction.

But when they try, they meet resistance.  In fact, this is the point at which many pastors are terminated.

Why?  Because the governing leaders and key opinion makers have another agenda for their church … and it’s not the Great Commission.

They want more and deeper Bible study.

They want to be doctrinally pure.

They want all of their family members … as well as their friends … to be happy.

They want to meet the budget.

They want to have a clean building.

While these are all worthwhile goals, they are not the Commission … they are possible means to the Commission.

But for some reason, most churches are willing to stop far short of actually winning people to Christ.

In fact, far too many of them are willing to make sure that the Commission is never fully implemented in their assembly.

Like one woman told a pastor friend: “I’d rather go to hell than to follow your leadership.”

Let me just say it: there are people in our churches who put their own personal agenda … and often the agenda of their friends … ahead of Christ’s agenda for their church.

When I attended the Catalyst seminar for Christian leaders several years ago, either Andy Stanley or Craig Groschel – I don’t remember which – told pastors:

“You cannot let anybody block the Great Commission in your church.”

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.

In fact, they suggested that pastors remove anybody who is blocking the Great Commission in their church.

Recently I spent some time with a group of pastors who shared the same story over and over.  They said:

“We wanted to reach our community for Christ, but one longtime member … one bully … one board member … one faction … stood in our way.  As long as they were successful, the church didn’t go anywhere.

But when we wouldn’t meet their demands … when we confronted their misbehavior … when we removed them from office … when they left the church … that’s when the church took off.”

As I read Paul’s letters, I get the impression there were many professing believers who were blocking the Great Commission in their churches … like Hymenaeus and Alexander (1 Tim. 1:19-2) … and Philetus (2 Tim. 2:17-18) … and Alexander the metalworker (2 Tim. 4:14) … and the feuding women Euodia and Syntyche (Phil. 4:2-3).

When Paul wrote about these Commission blockers, he expressed a sense of urgency, as if he were saying, “Resolve these issues as soon as possible so you can resume your evangelistic efforts.”

I recently met with a longtime pastor friend for a meal.  As we discussed these kinds of people, he said, “Jim, I just don’t put up with it anymore.”

As the late Howard Hendricks used to say, may his tribe increase.

23 years ago, I came to a board meeting at the church I was pastoring with a radical proposal:

I suggested that we sell our church property and start over again in a different location.

As I described what we could become and the people we could reach, the two oldest board members caught the vision … for which I will always be grateful.

They said to me:

“Jim, we failed to reach our generation for Christ … but we want to do everything we can to help you reach your generation for Christ.”

And they did … sacrificing time and energy and money for the Great Commission.

Rather than block my proposal, they embraced it and led interference for me every step of the way.

And I will never, ever forget them for it.

We eventually did sell our property and start a new church, and in five years, we baptized 100 people … a far cry from one per year!

I don’t like saying it this way, but I’m going to say it anyway:

The pastor is the professional.  He’s been called by God … trained and certified and examined in countless ways … and he’s specially gifted to lead a church.

The governing board members are at best amateurs who lack God’s call … who lack special training …who haven’t been certified … and lack their pastor’s giftedness.

The factions inside the church may be vocal … and they may be loud … and they may claim, “The pastor hurt my feelings” … but they have no idea how to lead a church.

So I’m going to follow my pastor’s leadership … not that of the board or any faction – even if they are my friends.

This is the choice we all have.  In football parlance:

Am I going to block the plays my pastor calls, or am I going to block for the plays my pastor calls?

And if I can’t block for him, I’ll find another team where I can block for that pastor.

But one thing’s for sure: I never want to block the Great Commission from happening in my church.

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Current Church Issues, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments »

Tolerating Church Sins

June 12, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Several weeks ago, I was invited to attend an all-day Doctor of Ministry class at my seminary.

The first half of the class dealt with turning around a church, while the second half focused on conflict resolution.

As I came to understand, turnarounds often require conflict resolution.

Our instructor – a veteran pastor and conflict resolution practitioner – told us that in one church, 14 leaders were involved in sexual immorality.

You read that right: 14.

If there is a God … and if He is holy as Scripture indicates … and if He longs to bless His people … then how could He bless that church?

He couldn’t … and only a process involving individual and corporate repentance and reconciliation could help that group turn things around.

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), including pastors, governing leaders, staff members, and average churchgoers.

When we confess our sins to God as individuals, He forgives us every time (1 John 1:9).

But sometimes churches tolerate the sins in their midst, and in those cases, God cannot and will not bless that church until they deal with those sins.

Having been in church ministry for nearly four decades, I’ve seen some sins that churches rarely deal with.  Let me list a few of the ones I’ve witnessed:

First, many churches do not protect their pastor from attacks.

While serving in my third staff position, my pastor was mercilessly assaulted verbally.  The attacks were undeserved, cruel, and personal.

My pastor called to tell me that he was so upset by these attacks that he couldn’t study for his Sunday message.  It was open season on him.

So I asked the deacon chairman if I could attend their next meeting.  I said, “Your pastor is under attack.  If you have a problem with something he’s doing or saying, then tell him yourself.  But if not, you need to protect him from these attacks.”

The deacons voted 5-2 to do something to protect their pastor … and then did nothing.

But the deacons weren’t the only ones responsible.  The malcontents became bold with their complaints and spread them throughout the church.

If just a few of the people who heard the complaints had challenged them … or reported them to the pastor or various board members … or to several of the opinion makers in the church … this whole sorry episode could have been avoided.

My pastor was never the same after he endured the attacks … and the after effects stayed with the church for years.

Just as Israel in the wilderness sinned by complaining against Moses and Aaron, so too thousands of congregations cannot move forward until they admit:

“Lord, forgive us for sinning against our pastor by not protecting him from slander and character assassination.”

Second, many churches tolerate … and even revel … in malicious gossip.

My first pastorate was in a small church in Silicon Valley.  It didn’t take long for me to size up what happened if certain women didn’t like what their pastor did or said.

There were four middle-aged women who had plenty of time on their hands.  The locations of their houses roughly formed an invisible square.

They talked on the phone a lot … and seemed to delight in running down people at every possible opportunity.

For most of my ministry life, I have tried to apply the truths of Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 to gossips:

“Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you – for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.”

In other words, since I’ve said unkind things about others, I need to be gracious when others are unkind toward me.

But one woman in particular could be nasty.  She didn’t just talk about other people – she tried to destroy them with her tongue.

All I had to do was listen to the way she talked about others to know how she talked about me.

Since these women were more than twice my age, my wife and I tried to love on them as much as possible.

But church leaders … most of them males … knew how destructive these women were, yet would not speak to them about this issue.

It’s not necessarily a sin to talk about others … but it is a sin to talk about them maliciously.

For that reason, many churches need to admit:

“Lord, forgive us for tolerating malicious gossip in our midst.”

Third, some churches tolerate sexual immorality.

I was once a staff member in a church where sexual immorality was rampant.

Let’s just say that some of the activities at church parties weren’t condoned by Scripture.

When this behavior finally leaked out, I couldn’t believe it … because many of the participants were leaders and teachers … and even people who had led and taught me.

This misbehavior had to be known by many people … but people maintained silence for a long time.

When somebody finally spoke up and told the pastor, he took immediate action … and the perpetrators all left the church.

But how can God bless a church where key leaders are fooling around with impunity?

Some churches need to confess:

“Lord, forgive us for tolerating sexual immorality in our midst.”

Fourth, most churches don’t take Christ’s Great Commission seriously.

If it’s true that only 15% of all churches are growing – and that 85% of churches are stagnating or declining – it’s easy to see why:

Most churches exist only for themselves.

I recently held some conversations with a church in another state.  They claimed they wanted to reach out to unbelievers in their community but refused to make any changes in their worship service.

But if and when guests do visit, they can immediately sense that the service is designed for those who are already there … and that they are excluded by default.

And if they feel that way, they won’t be back.

I honestly believe that most Christians either think there isn’t a hell or that the unbelievers they know aren’t going there.

And since nobody is spiritually lost, let’s just make church for us!

And that’s how most churches act.  They’re stuck in survival mode because they don’t take Matthew 28:18-20 seriously.

But most churches need to admit:

“Lord, forgive us for being apathetic toward lost people … and empower all of us to bring people to Christ.”

Finally, some churches need to deal with painful memories.

I’m currently reading a book by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander called Extreme Church Makeover.

The subtitle tells it all: “A biblical plan to help your church achieve unity and freedom in Christ.”

The authors state that most churches try to ignore their past, but “if leaders sweep repeated offenses under the rug, they will soon trip over them.”

They observe: “If the leaders bury the painful past and refuse to discuss it, they cut themselves off from God’s blessings for today and tomorrow.”

They go on: “Some of Satan’s favorite deceptions are that darkness is safer than light, that hidden things are better not discussed, and that pain has no permanent resolution.  Misguided leaders see painful church memories as something embarrassing that should be ignored, thus allowing the sores to fester instead of heal.”

Many families have experienced a traumatic event in their past.  They refuse to discuss it because they don’t want to relive the pain.  But those painful memories linger in the minds of sensitive family members.  The family remains quietly or openly fractured until they finally face their past and seek healing … which usually requires some degree of confession and forgiveness.

Church families often behave the same way.

Anderson and Mylander ask:

“Is it really possible that Satan can take advantage of a church corporately because of painful memories?”

They go on: “We believe he can.  It is not the memory itself that gives the enemy an advantage over us, but rather the lack of forgiveness. . . . because refusing corporate forgiveness allows Satan to have access to the church.”

I have only scratched the surface of sins that churches in our day tolerate.  (Read Jesus’ words to the churches in Revelation 2-3 for some eye-opening divine evaluations.)

What are some church sins that you’ve noticed?

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Change and Conflict in Church, Church Conflict, Church Health and Conflict, Current Church Issues, Fighting Evil, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Please Comment! | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Why I Don’t Always Sing in Church

June 10, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I love music.

My mom tells me that when I was two years old, I would sing at the top of my lungs while she pushed me around Safeway in a grocery cart.

I had a little phonograph, and I would listen to my records over and over … like “Romper Room Do Bee” or “Punchy the Clown” or “How Much is That Doggy in the Window?”

Even now … while I’m writing this article … Bach is playing gently in the background.

But when I attend worship services at my church, I don’t always sing … and from looking around, I can tell that many people feel just like me.

Why do so many Christians NOT sing in church?

Should we automatically conclude that they aren’t spiritual?

Let me speak for myself:

First, I don’t always feel like singing.  I’ve always been someone who believes that you don’t wait for positive feelings and then do something … you do the right thing and then positive feelings will follow.

When I was a pastor, I didn’t always feel like singing during worship … but I did.

But now that I’m not a pastor, people aren’t taking their cues from me … and I find that both refreshing and liberating.

After experiencing traumatic events at the hands of professing Christians several years ago, it was a struggle for me just to attend a worship service for months.

When I finally found a seat, I didn’t want to stand up … or clap my hands … or sing loudly.

My heart had been broken.  When I tried to sing, all I could do was utter soft, muffled sounds.

My guess is that scores of people want to sing during worship time, but their hearts have been broken, too … and they just don’t feel like it.

Can we cut them some slack?

I think of the final words to the song “The Sound of Music: “My heart will be blessed with the sound of music, and I’ll sing once more.”

Those whose hearts are broken may very well sing again if we just let God heal their hearts first.

Second, I can’t sing certain phrases or songs.  Some worship songs are written as love songs to the Lord, and I’m uncomfortable with them.

For example, I cringe every time we used to sing “Draw Me Close to You.”  As a guy, I don’t like singing about “the warmth of your embrace” to Jesus … and I am not alone.

I was recently in a service where we were asked to sing a song that, in my view, was poorly written and not conducive to worship.  I would have felt silly singing that song … so I didn’t sing it at all.

Remember the old hymn “And Can It Be That I Should Gain?”  It’s a classic … but the phrase “emptied himself of all but love” (referring to Jesus’ incarnation) is theologically unsound … so I always hummed over those words rather than sing them.

I’m not trying to be critical, but to sing with integrity, and that means there are some phrases … and songs … that I just can’t sing.

Third, singing wears me out.  While I sang in Boy’s Glee Club for a few years in Jr. High, I am not a trained singer.  Even though I’ll listen to hours of music during the week, I rarely sing along … and if I do, it’ll be just a few bars.

For 167 hours every week, I don’t sing … and then I come to church, where the congregation is asked to sing 4 or 5 or 6 songs.

The people on the stage love to sing … that’s why they’re up there.  I admire their ability and enthusiasm.

But I don’t want to sing 6 songs during worship.  3 is optimal … and 4 is stretching it.

So after 3 or 4 songs, I’m done.  My throat is starting to hurt … I don’t feel like clapping anymore … and I’d like to sit down.

I love the Lord, and I love to worship Him, so I don’t think I’m being unspiritual.

But I’m human, and I have limits … and so do others.

So if you see me sitting down or not singing, it’s not a protest … I’m conserving my energy so I can listen to the sermon.

Finally, I’d rather listen to others play and sing than to sing myself.  That’s what happened at our church yesterday.  I chose to be silent and focus on the words rather than sing them myself.

The best church services I’ve ever attended were at Bay Horizons Church in Silicon Valley during the 1990s.  We’d sing two worship songs at the beginning of the service and then have two performance songs later on … usually ending with one more worship song at the end of the service.

For me, that was the optimal use of music during worship.  Because we started with just two worship songs, I could sing with my entire being, knowing that was all that would be asked of me.

And then I could sit back and listen to gifted musicians back a gifted vocalist with a song that would almost always touch my heart.

This approach is certainly biblical.  The Psalms were the hymnbook of ancient Israel, and many of them were written in the first person, while others were meant to be sung by a congregation.

I know the trend today is for the congregation to sing and for gifted vocalists to sing only on the worship team.

But as I’ve written before, I’d remember those performance songs months or years later … and I would always look forward to them.

In their book Setting Your Church Free, Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander write:

“Why do some people never sing in church – not even a joyful noise?  Some, of course, have perfectly normal reasons.  They may not know the words or the tune, or some may be tone deaf or feel socially inhibited.  But others are being spiritually inhibited from singing hymns and choruses of praise to God. . . . The evil one does not like praise music.  David played the harp and the evil spirit departed from Saul.”

I love my Savior Jesus and Christian music, but I don’t always want to sing.  Does that make me less spiritual?

How many times are we told that Jesus sang?  Just once … after the Last Supper (Matthew 26:30).

As a man, a veteran believer, and a former pastor, I don’t pretend to speak for everybody else in the church.

But I’ve tried to lay out four reasons why I don’t always sing in church, and my guess is that many others would resonate with what I’ve written.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Christian Music, Current Church Issues, Please Comment! | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments »

Confessions of a Seasoned Pastor

June 3, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I’ve just spent the past few days listening to professors and pastors talk about best practices among healthy churches.

And in the process, I realize that I made some mistakes over my 36-year career in church ministry.

These mistakes weren’t intentional … they were simply omissions … but they were crucial omissions.

Maybe you can learn from my blunders:

First, I failed to insist that governing leaders undergo leadership training.

I recently heard a church staff member say that the board in his church goes on an overnight retreat every quarter.  Board members assess how they’re doing spiritually and then assess how their congregation is growing spiritually as well.

Only then do they assess how the church is doing as a whole and make future plans.

Years ago, I used to hold board retreats every six months … but over time, the practice gradually died out.  We’d plan a retreat, but then board members would back out at the last moment, and we’d have to cancel it.

Maybe that was an indication that some of them shouldn’t have been on the board in the first place.

But if I had to do it over again, I’d insist that we go through leadership training on a regular basis … no excuses, no exceptions.

Second, I failed to know what board and staff members gave to the church.

I’ve been hearing this theme over and over, and even posted a blog about this issue recently.

A pastor – and maybe several other leaders – must know the giving records of the leaders in the inner circle.

Some pastors know what everyone in the church gives … and in all honesty, knowing that much might make some of us feel uncomfortable.

But it’s crucial that pastors know the giving patterns of top leaders.

A friend I respect … who always gave generously to his church … roughly put it this way:

“A pastor should ask the financial secretary to contact him if a top leader isn’t giving to the church.  The pastor should then approach that leader and ask what’s going on.  It may be that the leader has a spiritual problem or is purposely withholding giving so the church falls short of the budget.  Later on, that leader might recommend that the pastor be removed from office because he’s presiding over declining donations.”

When top leaders aren’t giving, it’s a sign of a spiritual problem … and may be a sign of an upcoming coup attempt as well.

If a pastor is being sabotaged by leaders who are withholding their giving intentionally, those leaders should resign … and leave the church quickly.

I wish I had known this years ago.

Third, I failed to confront church bullies in the name of niceness.

Seven years ago, I wrote my final project for my doctoral program on church antagonists.  When the project was done, I made copies available to anyone in the church who wanted one … but I removed the second chapter.

Why?

Because it contained five real-life examples of antagonism from our own church (three under my predecessor, two under my ministry) and some in the church knew who some individuals were.

In each case, an individual – usually a church leader – thought he or she had a special relationship with the pastor.

In each case, the pastor made a decision that went against that individual.

In each case, that individual then become openly antagonistic toward the pastor.

And in each case, church leaders … including the pastor … did absolutely nothing about the destructive behavior of those five individuals.

In several cases, the antagonists left the church, and then did their best to sabotage the pastor from the privacy of their home.

Most of the time, when antagonists act this way, pastors throw up their hands and ask, “What can I do?”

But a pastor … and a church’s governing leaders … can do plenty.

*They should confront antagonistic behavior the first time it happens.

*They should encourage the individuals involved to repent immediately.

*They should forgive them if they genuinely repent … but monitor their behavior afterwards.

*They should ask them to leave the church if their antagonism continues.

While visiting an all-day class at my seminary last week, I heard story after story of churches that weren’t growing because of the machinations of church bullies.

When God’s people tolerated the rebellious behavior, their church stagnated.

But when God’s people took on the bullies, they either repented or left the church.

And when that happened, the churches mysteriously and miraculously began to grow.

If only I had confronted the bullies sooner …

Finally, I waited too long to correct public lies told about me.

Let me tell you a secret about pastors.

Pastors are extremely sensitive individuals.  They are feelers more than thinkers.

They love God … love the people in their church … and aren’t good at taking care of themselves.

And when churchgoers lie about them … pastors collapse in tears.

Oh, I know … a few pastors take to the pulpit and denounce their critics … but most pastors don’t.

They internalize their pain instead.

And the lies wound them to the very core.

We have a problem in our churches.

When people spread rumors about a pastor, they usually do so in private … and the pastor has no idea where they originated … so he can’t answer them effectively.

I know a pastor who is a very strong individual, but when someone in his church merely threatened to spread lies about him, he instantly quit.

Lying about a pastor … inspired by Satan … is evil.

When people lie about a pastor in a widespread manner, he needs a fair and just forum where he can respond to the charges made against him.

But most churches lack that kind of forum … and everybody knows it.

So the lies about pastors go largely unanswered.

God ultimately gave me a forum for addressing this issue … my book Church Coup … although it took me 3 1/2 years to answer some charges.

(By the way, if you ever hear anything said about me, and want to check its veracity, please write me and ask.  I am not afraid of any question.)

I’d rather look ahead than back, but if any of my mistakes can help others, then we can turn the tables on the enemy.

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Personal Stories | Tagged , , | 2 Comments »

Authentic Praying … and Singing

May 31, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I’m slowly reading through the Psalms in Eugene Peterson’s biblical paraphrase The Message, and I’ve been increasingly blessed by what I’ve been reading.

This morning, I read Psalm 77, where Asaph speaks in the first 6 verses:

I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might,

I yell at the top of my lungs.  He listens.

I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;

my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.

When friends said, “Everything will turn out all right,”

I didn’t believe a word they said.

I remember God – and shake my head.

I bow my head – then wring my hands.

I’m awake all night – not a wink of sleep;

I can’t even say what’s bothering me.

I go over the days one by one,

I ponder the years gone by.

I strum my lute all through the night,

wondering how to get my life together.

Do these words from Asaph resonate with you?

Asaph is comfortable enough in God’s presence to “yell at the top of my lungs.”  The psalmist doesn’t contort himself into adopting a sanctimonious tone.  He just tells God how he feels … and in this case, loudly.

He also states that “my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.”

I don’t know what Asaph was going through, but it was like an arrow pierced his heart.  He bled out a bit … but his wound refused to get better.

I know so many Christians – even people I admire – who have wounds that won’t heal: tortured memories … incessant regrets … bodily frailties … psychological plagues … emotional scars.

In Asaph’s case, his wound wasn’t private – it was public.  Everyone who knew Asaph knew about his wound.

When Asaph’s well-meaning friends tried to encourage him, Asaph couldn’t adopt their viewpoint.  Only he knew his pain.

And when he thought of God, Asaph could only shake his head and wring his hands.

Even though Asaph had petitioned God for relief, the Lord remained silent and inactive.

One of the worst nights of my life happened when I was a sophomore in high school.  My insect collection was due the following day, but I didn’t have it done.  I stayed up all night wondering what I was going to do.

I hated biology.

In my case, I knew why I was up all night.  In Asaph’s case, he couldn’t even say what was troubling him.

He reviewed his life – looking for clues as to why he was so miserable – but he received no answers.

So he turned to music.  In his case, he played the lute.

In my case, I play my iPod … sometimes listening to hymns all night.

But I love the last line of this text, where Asaph admits that he’s “wondering how to get my life together.”

Let me make three quick observations about this text:

First, God loves it when His people are honest.

If God didn’t like honesty, He would have made sure that Asaph’s little song was never published in Scripture.

But Asaph isn’t the only honest psalmist.  What about King David in Psalm 31?

Be kind to me, God –

I’m in deep, deep trouble again.

I’ve cried my eyes out;

I feel hollow inside.

My life leaks away, groan by groan;

my years fade out in sighs.

My troubles have worn me out,

turned my bones to powder.

To my enemies I’m a monster,

I’m ridiculed by the neighbors.

My friends are horrified;

they cross the street to avoid me.

They want to blot me from memory,

forget me like a corpse in the grave,

discard me like a broken dish in the trash.

The street-talk gossip has me

“criminally insane”!

Behind locked doors they plot

how to ruin me for good.

There’s no attempt on David’s part to be super-spiritual, or self-righteous … he just tells God, “I’m hollow, worn out, forsaken, ridiculed – and some people want to destroy me.”

How do these two prayers – and there are scores of sections like these in the Psalms – match up with your prayers as far as honesty?

Second, honesty draws us closer to God.

I grew weary of rote prayers as a kid.  My family had a 12-word rote prayer that we sometimes uttered around the dinner table:

“Thank you Father for this food in Jesus’ name we pray Amen.”

Memorized and careless statements aren’t going to draw us any closer to God.  Instead, He wants to know how we really feel.

Twelve days after our first date, I took Kim for a drive to the beach.  That night, we both shared things with each other that we had never shared with anyone else.

Up until that night, I had always tried to impress girls with my cleverness, or humor, or sports ability.

But Kim wasn’t impressed by those things … so I dropped the pretense and felt safe enough to share who I really was with her.

The honesty we started to display that night has bound us together for nearly 40 years.

God wants us to act in the same way toward Him.  The more honest we are with Him, the closer we’ll feel to Him.

And that often starts with being more candid and expressive with God in our prayers.

Finally, honesty attracts others to our faith.

Although Asaph laments his life in Psalm 77, he still refers to “my God” and “my Lord.”

He still held onto his relationship with God even though his life felt like crap.

There are millions of people in our culture who have rejected the Christian faith and do all they can to avoid church.

I have often wondered if what we’re missing in our worship is the authenticity found in the Psalms.

If you know me at all, you know how much I love music.

And the more honest the song, the better I like it, which is why I love songwriters like Dylan, Van Morrison, Johnny Cash, Neil Young, and Bono.  (Ever listened to the lyrics to U2’s “Acrobat?”  That’s a whole blog right there.)

But most of the Christian music that I own isn’t very honest.  I get the impression that the songwriter is writing what he or she feels they’re supposed to write rather than what they’d like to write … if their record company would let them.

Since the Psalms were the hymnbook of Israel, can you imagine singing the words of Psalm 77 or Psalm 31 in a worship service as Israel did?

In most churches, I look around and notice less than half the people singing.

Could it be that the words don’t reflect the way they feel inside?

I realize that in many of the Psalms, the songwriter may view life negatively at the beginning of the psalm and later view life – and God – more positively later in the psalm.

But I usually don’t see this pattern reflected in worship lyrics.

Maybe if our music was more authentic, we’d feel closer to God … and attract more people.

Because while people want answers to their questions about life, they want something else even more:

They just want someone to listen to them.

And God loves to listen to authentic praying and singing.

Posted in Burnout and Depression in Ministry, Church Health and Conflict, Current Church Issues | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

Who’s to Blame When a Pastor Leaves?

May 24, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Today is the 72nd birthday of America’s greatest living songwriter, Bob Dylan.

One of the measures of Dylan’s brilliance is that many of his greatest songs (like “Up to Me,” “Blind Willie McTell,” “Foot of Pride,” and the incredible “Cross the Green Mountain”) never appeared on any of his official albums.  In fact, I enjoy listening to his unreleased music from The Bootleg Series (1991) or Tell Tale Signs (2008) as much or more than his released songs.  (I’m blessed that both my wife and my daughter-in-law like Dylan’s music.)

In 1963, two boxers met for a match at Dodger Stadium: World Featherweight champion Davey Moore and challenger Sugar Ramos, who knocked Moore out in the tenth round and won by a technical knockout.

After the fight, Moore spoke with reporters, complained of headaches, fell unconscious, was taken to the hospital, and died four days later of brain damage.

Later that year, a young Bob Dylan wrote a song called “Who Killed Davey Moore?”  If you’ve never heard it before, it will definitely make you think.  You’ll find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvLFOCMbHHE

Who was responsible for Moore’s death?  The referee?  The crowd?  The manager?  Gamblers?  Boxing writers?  Ramos?

Each verse of the song is a protest from each of the above six parties … and each verse ends with these words:

“It wasn’t me that made him fall, no, you can’t blame me at all.”

The implication of Dylan’s song is that somebody played a part in Moore’s death.  Dylan doesn’t just indict Ramos … he indicts everybody who had the opportunity to stop the carnage, but didn’t.

Dylan even quotes Ramos as saying, “Don’t say ‘murder,’ don’t say ‘kill,’ it was destiny, it was God’s will.”

In other words, let’s blame God for everything!

In the same vein, when a pastor is forced to leave a church, who is responsible for his departure?

After a pastor’s last Sunday, when churchgoers stop their whispering and start speaking more forthrightly, they often blame the pastor completely.  Examples:

“He didn’t seem happy here.  He should have left three years ago.”

“He never should have come here in the first place.  He was the wrong man for the job.”

“He was too well educated for this congregation.  He never spoke on our level.”

And on and on and on …

Maybe every pastor who leaves a church prematurely is 100% to blame … but somehow, I doubt it.

After Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, the Sanhedrin called a secret emergency meeting.  In typical fashion, they overreacted to Jesus’ miracle and misinterpreted its meaning.  John 11:47-48 reports their discussion:

“What are we accomplishing?  Here is this man performing many miraculous signs.  If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.”

Then Caiaphas, the high priest that year, suggested a solution: “You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.”

Caiaphas nominated Jesus to be Judah’s scapegoat … to blame the Roman-Jewish troubles completely on Him … and then none of the Sanhedrin would have to claim responsibility for any of their nation’s current problems.

To paraphrase Dylan’s song: “Who Killed Jesus Christ?”  We can identify many possible culprits:

*The traitor among the Twelve.

*The politician Pilate who let the mob have their way.

*Every person in the crowd who cried out for Jesus’ death … and every person who failed to call for His release.

*The Roman soldiers who arrested Jesus in Gethsemane.

*The disciples who deserted their Master when He needed them the most.

*The Sanhedrin which violated its own rules because they hated Jesus so much.

*The devil who was pulling strings behind the scenes … as the film The Passion of the Christ so clearly delineates.

So who is to blame when a pastor leaves?

Let’s admit that there are times when a pastor’s personal misconduct disqualifies him from church ministry.  Maybe the pastor was discovered to be a persistent gambler … or an unrepentant womanizer … or a hopeless drug addict.  According to Alan Klaas, personal pastoral misconduct accounts for 7% of all forced terminations.

I would hope that even if a pastor was guilty of immoral behavior, those around him would still try and restore him spiritually and even vocationally rather than try and destroy him.

But Klaas says that 45% of the time, a minority faction causes a pastor to leave involuntarily.  Notice: it’s 6 1/2 times more likely that a small group of vocal churchgoers pushes out a pastor than that their pastor sinned his way out of the church.

In a typical case of forced termination, the following parties may share some responsibility for the pastor’s ouster:

*The chairman who sided with his board buddies rather than back his pastor.

*The staff member who rebelled against his pastor’s directives and aligned himself with board members.

*Churchgoers who knew the identities of plotting members but never passed on that information to their pastor.

*The district minister who took the side of disgruntled members rather than a pastor called by God.

*Regular attendees who loudly criticized everything their pastor said and did rather than quietly leave the church.

*Christians who blamed every church problem on the pastor rather than defending him or supporting him.

Who pushed the pastor out?

Maybe the board chairman helped … as did a staff member … along with various churchgoers … and the district minister … and chronic critics … and some ordinary members.

This is by far the most common scenario … much more likely than blaming the pastor for everything.

Bob Dylan was right.  When Davey Moore died, there was plenty of shared responsibility to go around.

And when most pastors leave a church unwillingly, it’s rarely their fault completely.  (When the church did well, was he alone entitled to all the accolades?)

Rather than taking the political perspective of the Sanhedrin (which tried to blame everything on one person), let’s adopt the more mature viewpoint of that 22-year-old folksinger from Minnesota (who held multiple parties responsible for a tragedy) and ask:

“How did I contribute to the pastor’s departure … and how can I make things right?”

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with the Pastor, Jim's Ten Favorite Articles, Pastoral Termination | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments »

When Sheep Attack Their Pastor

May 22, 2013 by Jim Meyer

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts inventory to discover which gifts God has given you?

Twenty-some years ago, I took the inventory that came with the Network material created by Willow Creek Church.

My primary gift?  Teaching.

My second gift?  Prophecy.

When I took the class “Discovering Your Ministry Identity” at Fuller for the Doctor of Ministry degree, my spiritual gifts inventory produced exactly the same results.

While I’ve always tried to use my teaching gift in love, that prophecy gift makes me seem outspoken, stubborn, and almost obnoxious at times.

I understand that when women feel strong emotions, they usually feel them from the top of their head to the tips of their toes.

That’s how I feel when I see wrongdoing in Jesus’ church.

It doesn’t matter if nobody is listening (or reading), or if I don’t use politically correct terms, or if I need to take a swipe at the behavior of Christian leaders on occasion … I have to speak out.

In fact, I’m not being true to either God or my giftedness if I remain silent.

That’s why I care so much about the involuntary termination of innocent pastors.  In fact, more of us need to speak up and say, “This is wrong and has got to stop.”

Enter Kent Crockett’s book Pastor Abusers: When Sheep Attack Their Shepherd.

While much of Crockett’s book overlaps with my book Church Coup, I love his fresh approach to the subject.

Let me share a few more quotes from his book:

“The devil is unmistakably the instigator of secret plots.  Nowhere in the Bible do we read about God calling for His people to meet secretly and plot the ousting [of] a pastor.  Instead, every instance in the New Testament of plots and secret meetings pertains to ungodly religious leaders who attacked God’s Son and His followers.”

While reading through the Psalms in The Message, I came upon Psalm 64 this morning.  David writes about his enemies:

They keep lists of the traps

they’re secretly set.

They say to each other,

“No one can catch us,

no one can detect our perfect crime.”

The Detective detects the mystery

in the dark of the cellar heart.

My friend Charles Chandler, executive director of the Ministering to Ministers Foundation, taught me that when leaders or churchgoers plot to force out their pastor, they will insist on strict confidentiality from the pastor when they inform him of their plans … and that the pastor does not have to comply with their wishes.  As Crockett states, “Satan loves to plot evil schemes under the dark veil of secrecy against God’s messengers …. It’s just too easy for these thugs to concoct stories or exaggerate incidents to discredit the pastor’s ministry and ruin his reputation.”

This paragraph made me both angry and sorrowful:

“The abusers will often approach your friends, trying to persuade them to come over to their side.  They’ll misrepresent the situation, distort the facts, and say, ‘Let us tell you our side of the story.’  If your friend is gullible or has a weak backbone, he or she will cave in to their exploitation, instead of standing up for what’s right.  It’s worth repeating – never underestimate the incredible power of a slanderer to alter people’s thinking.”

I believe that slander is the number one weapon in Satan’s arsenal against pastors.  When half-truths, innuendos, and exaggerations are piled one on top of another, too many Christians choose to believe the “charges” rather than ask, “How do you know these charges are true?” or ask, “What kind of biblical process has been used to uncover this information?”

And the first thing anyone who hears such charges should do is contact the pastor immediately and ask him whether the charges are true.

In his chapter “The Silent Majority,” Crockett laments churchgoers who passively allow their pastor to take a beating without coming to his defense:

“Your supporters understand these antagonists are determined to run you off, and they prefer to stay out of the line of fire when it happens.  When the faction begins persecuting you, the depth of your supporters’ spiritual walk will determine which position they’ll take and which side they’ll choose.”

There are friends from my last ministry who have told me how sorry they are that they did not speak up for me when I was being publicly accused of wrongdoing.  I have never blamed them for remaining silent because it’s rare for Christians to publicly support their pastor when he’s under attack.  But I do believe them when they say that they will never let this happen again.

Unfortunately, too many believers are fooled by the following tactic.  Pastor Mike Johnston stated that he and his wife were friends with a woman for 25 years … and that she pledged loyalty to them … but then:

“I failed to take into account the slander factor, which is the exponential power a phantom allegation proclaimed through an alliance of troublemakers.  These particular pastor abusers banded together and fed her misinformation, which she never challenged.  Since the accusers kept repeating their lies, it convinced her that they must be telling the truth.  Without asking me to respond to their charges, she swallowed the bait, reneged on her promise, and joined their team.  After three months of unreturned phone calls, it became painfully evident our lifelong friend wanted nothing more to do with us.”

Guess what?  The enemy used the same tactic on Jesus, Stephen, and Paul.

I once had a teacher at Biola named Mr. Ebeling.  He was quite a character, but he used to utter the same phrase over and over:

“If Christians would just read their Bibles!”

The enemy’s strategy against pastors is clearly delineated in Scripture … but when he springs his trap, many people take his side and drive out their pastor.

Let’s put a stop to this evil once and for all!

Are you with me?

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Fighting Evil, Pastoral Termination | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Problem of Pastor Abusers

May 20, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I’m currently reading a book by Kent Crockett called Pastor Abusers: When Sheep Attack Their Shepherd.  Crockett is currently on the staff of a church in Alabama.

In his first chapter, titled “The Secret Church Scandal,” the author writes:

“The secret church scandal we’re talking about is the persecution of the pastor by mean-spirited people within the church, who are the ‘pastor abusers.’  They’re planted in nearly every congregation.  Many are even running the church.  They may be deacons, disloyal staff members, or members of the congregation who are determined to destroy the pastor through personal attacks, slander, and criticism.  Outwardly they may look respectable, but inwardly their hearts are wicked, and their mission is to bring down their spiritual leader.”

I must confess, I cannot understand why professing Christians would ever do such a thing.

Based on my own experience, I can understand why believers might:

*disagree with their pastor’s teaching.

*find him to be arrogant or obnoxious.

*become bored with his preaching or stories.

*choose to leave their church for another.

But how can a believer who has the Holy Spirit living inside of him or her ever try and destroy or bring down a pastor called by God?

Crockett continues:

“Pastor abuse is the scandal that no one is talking about.  The mistreatment of clergy is as horrifying as it is secretive, and the casualties are reaching epidemic proportions.  Over 19,000 pastors get out of the ministry every year.  When the sermon ends on Sunday, over 350 pastors will be gone before the next Sunday service begins.”

These statements are similar to ones that I made in my recent book Church Coup … and no, I did not consult Crockett’s book before I wrote mine.  But it’s amazing how many nearly-identical statements we both made.

What happens after a pastor under fire leaves?  Crockett continues:

“Meanwhile, the revolving door at the church makes another turn.  As the fired pastor makes his exit, the old guard looks to find another pastor who will meet all of their expectations, and history repeats itself with a new victim.  Just like the abusive husband beats his next wife, the abusive church will mistreat its next pastor.”

How can a church prevent this revolving door syndrome?  Both Crockett and I agree that the perpetrators must be given a choice: repent of your sinful actions or leave the fellowship.  Yet Crockett writes:

“Because few churches exercise church discipline, pastor abusers are rarely held accountable for their actions.  This emboldens them to keep attacking God’s shepherds, knowing that no one will challenge their despicable behavior.  Eventually someone must take a stand against the abusers and hold them accountable, or their attacks will never end.  Church discipline is essential is we’re ever going to solve the pastor abuser problem.”

There are times when I feel like I’m talking to myself about this issue, but as soon as I get together with other believers – whether they’re family members or old friends – they’ll immediately start telling me about a conflict that devastated their church years ago, or one they’re going through right now, or one they sense is coming.

Then they’ll tell me about a pastor or staff member who left church ministry … and about family members who have quit going to church altogether … and sometimes they’ll admit that they’ve quit going to church as well.

How can Christians remain silent about this issue?

If we want Christ’s kingdom to expand … if we want our churches to grow … if we believe that Christians should attend and stay in local congregations … then shouldn’t we do all we can to prevent pastors and Christians from leaving the church altogether?

I’m willing to speak up … how about you?

I’ll write more about Kent Crockett’s book Pastor Abusers next time.

Check out our website at www.restoringkingdombuilders.org  You’ll find Jim’s story, recommended resources on conflict, and a forum where you can ask questions about conflict situations in your church.

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with the Pastor, Pastoral Termination | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Christian Leaders and Institutional Truth

May 15, 2013 by Jim Meyer

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a term … but I don’t know how it made its way into my head.

The term is “institutional truth.”  (If you can find a clear definition of the term, please send it to me.)

This term provides a partial explanation as to why some churches end up treating their pastors – and sometimes other employees – so poorly.

To illustrate this idea properly, let me share with you a story that happened more than two decades ago to a pastor I once knew.  (I will use aliases throughout this story.)

Pastor John and his wife were called to Trinity Church, a church that had been declining for some time.  Through John’s preaching and personal charisma, Trinity began to grow at a rapid rate.  In fact, news of Trinity’s growth spread to the church where I was serving, which was several hours away.

One summer, I was attending a Christian conference back east, and when I picked up my rental car, I saw Pastor John and his wife at another rental counter … but all the cars had been rented.  I immediately introduced myself to them and offered to drive them to the conference.

During the two-hour drive to conference headquarters, we became fast friends.

While driving, I casually mentioned my interest in pastoral termination and church conflict.  John and his wife seemed intrigued by some of the ideas that I shared with them.

We saw each other several other times during the conference, and I sensed I had developed an ongoing friendship with this couple.

Not long afterwards, I heard rumblings that all was not well at John’s church.  Some of the pioneers were beginning to complain loudly that they didn’t like John or the way he did things, even though both attendance and giving had significantly improved.  These complaints begin making their way to other churches … including the one that I served as pastor.

One day, I visited our district office, and a secretary told me all about the conflict from her perspective.  Her view was that Pastor John was causing trouble in that church … which she used to attend.  The evidence?

Her friends were upset.

Back at my church, a board member named Harry had a different take on the conflict.  He was good friends with Don – a board member from the “troubled” church – and Don fully supported his pastor.

One night, at a board meeting at Trinity, Pastor John arrived to find the district minister sitting across the table from him.  The district minister had been meeting with Trinity’s board members who all wanted their pastor removed from office.

Someone pushed a letter of termination in front of the pastor’s face.  The letter demanded that Pastor John resign immediately, turn in his keys, clear out his office, and never set foot on the property again.

Pastor John told me later that he stared at the letter for 45 minutes before reluctantly signing it.

However, there is more to the story … because the board waited until Don was away and absent before they staged their coup.

When Don found out what happened – and that the district minister was involved in pushing out his pastor – Don and many of his church friends were extremely upset.  They thought the church was going well!

Over the next several months, I was visited by Pastor John, Don, and Stan, a Trinity member who had moved into our neighborhood.  Stan wanted to find out if there was a connection between the district office and the church office, so he filed a lawsuit to find out the truth.

Oh, my.

I spoke with all the parties involved, trying to understand the conflict better.  (I had no official role except as a pastor interested in resolving the conflict.)

I knew and liked the district minister … and the district’s attorney … and Pastor John … and Don, the board member who didn’t attend that infamous meeting.

I also knew a lot about what happened at that meeting because Don began sending me and his friend Harry official board documents … including the minutes of the meeting where the pastor was terminated.  (And I still have them.)

Both sides had made mistakes, but neither side would admit them … and some information going out about the conflict publicly consisted of outright falsehoods.

I witnessed institutional truth up close and personal, and I did not like what I saw.  Here is what I learned:

First, institutional leaders almost never admit they’ve made any mistakes.  The board at Trinity did wait until Don was absent before removing their pastor … and they did involve the district minister … and they did concoct some deceptive explanations when they made their announcement about the pastor’s departure the following Sunday.

I am not in a position to say that they purposely lied about anything … but I never heard anyone from the district’s side acknowledge that they had committed any errors.

In Scott Peck’s book People of the Lie – a book I’ve read several times – his closing chapter states that government institutions (and he uses the military as an example) never admit that they’ve done anything wrong, even when they’re caught red-handed.  In fact, we’re seeing this principle at work right now in our own government with several scandals that have just been revealed.

Why is this?  Because it is the job of institutional leaders to advance the mission of their organization and defend it at all costs … and if they publicly admit they’ve done something wrong, they’re afraid they’ll lose people’s confidence and (a) donations will take a hit, and (b) they’ll be reprimanded, disciplined, or even removed from office.

But if God is a forgiving God … and His grace covers all our sins … then why can’t Christian leaders admit that they make mistakes?   Doesn’t the gospel apply to leaders as well as non-leaders?

Second, institutional leaders prefer to blame problems on convenient scapegoats.  When Don revealed that the church board had aligned themselves with the district office to push out his pastor, Don became the scapegoat instead.

He was blamed for all kinds of things, and because he held a national office with the denomination, attempts were made to remove him from office.

Most pastors and church leaders lined up behind the district office, which resulted in attempts to discredit Don.

And I got caught in the crossfire, too.

Harry, the board member from my church who was friends with Don, went to the district minister and told him to his face that he never should have been involved in removing his successor.  I told my district minister the same thing, only in a much kinder way.

I wasn’t trying to remove him from office … after all, every leader makes mistakes … but I couldn’t play political games and act like it was all Pastor John’s fault, either.

Pastor John undoubtedly made some errors in judgment as well, especially when he sent a letter to every church in the district insinuating that the district minister was corrupt.  But the district minister was a good man not normally given to playing politics, and I felt that John’s letter went too far.

Third, institutional leaders who do not support their institution 100% are considered subversive.  I could not support the district minister’s actions completely.  Know why?  Because Trinity was the church he had pastored for several decades!

And I believe that it is unethical for a pastor to become involved in removing his successor.

Because I questioned the actions of the district minister, I was branded by some as being disloyal to the district … and some people wrote me off from that moment on.

It’s not that I was disloyal to the district office – it’s that I was more loyal to the truth.

Some top-level leaders felt that since I wasn’t vocally supportive of the district minister, that meant I was standing behind Pastor John instead.

And they especially felt that way when Pastor John quoted from a study I had done about pastors leaving our district.

Since I was becoming persona non grata inside our district, I called the President of our denomination and told him what happened from my perspective.

He told me that I hadn’t done anything wrong … and that he was good friends with Pastor John and felt he was being unfairly blamed for things he didn’t do!

This was the point at which I asked myself:

Must I look the other way and remain silent when I see wrongdoing?

Must I tow the party line and cast blame on people that I think have legitimate complaints?

Must I support an institution completely even when I believe its leaders have done something wrong?

Must I view every conflict through institutional eyes …  or am I allowed to view conflicts through biblical eyes?

In my opinion, I was asked – along with many other pastors and church leaders – to believe in institutional truth … which states:

*Those who lead the institution are always right.

*Those who criticize the institution in any way are always wrong.

*Those who fail to protect and advance the institution will be ignored, slandered, or intimidated.

*While it is never permissible for an individual to criticize the institution, it is permissible for the institution to criticize and even destroy its critics.

What do you think of this idea of “institutional truth?”

How have you seen it play out in your church, denomination, or even your company?

Posted in Church Conflict, Conflict with Church Antagonists, Conflict with Church Board, Conflict with the Pastor, Current Church Issues, Fighting Evil, Forgiveness and Reconciliation among Christians, Pastoral Termination | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

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